Big 11 Teams...as Cars?

This is funny. If each Big 11 football team was a car, they would be....

Link

"Rollin down the street smokin endo ...."

So last year’s #1 pick, Jeremy Jeffress, was suspened for 50 games for using a “drug of abuse.” WTF is that?

Jeffress: “What’s the drug of abuse?”
Dealer: “That’s a drug that leads to an addiction.”
Jeffress: “Mmmmm, that sounds good. I’ll have some.”

Actually, marijuana fits this category. If it was weed, isn’t 50 games a little steep? Then again, they don’t announce what the specific drug is so it could be crack cocaine. Was he a big Doc Gooden fan?

And what’s with 1st round Brewer high school pitchers? Talk about bad luck. Mike Jones, JM Gold, Mark Rodgers…now Jeffress.

When Bucky Brooks Talks, You Listen!

If Jackson is bad, let's just hope he's not bad in a Lawrence Phillips-type of way.

Actually, I've never herd of him before but he put together a nice best/worst list of NFL subjects on CNNSI. He had two Packer tidbits, one good, one bad. First, the bad. It's really hard to argue his assessment on this one. I have no defense.

Worst running back combo
Brandon Jackson, Vernand Morency and Noah Herron are slated to handle the running back duties for the Packers, but the trio enters the season with only two career starts between them. With so much inexperience at the position, it is hard to imagine this bunch capably filling Ahman Green's role as the starter. Jackson and Herron have only averaged slightly over three yards a carry during the preseason while Morency has missed the majority of training camp due to an injury. With the season a little over a week away, the inexperience at the running back position should be a major concern in Green Bay.

Now the good. It's more James Jones love. TT probably could have drafted him a round or two later, but it looks like the scouts that ripped him saying JJ was a 6th talent look like idiots...for now. Green Bay may need all the WRs they can get considering the above RB analysis.

Most surprising offensive rookie
The Green Bay Packers selected James Jones in the third round and were widely roundly criticized in league circles. But the former San Jose State star has been sensational during the preseason. Showing outstanding hands and running skills, Jones has 16 receptions for 196 yards with two touchdowns through three preseason games. His performance has quickly earned him the trust of Brett Favre and he is poised to make a big impact as a rookie. Packer fans should be reminded of Antonio Freeman when they watch Jones play during the fall.

Sheets, Elephants, the Circus - This Story Has it All

Lots of fun quotes in this story about the the return of Sheets by Jayson Stark:

Of Sheets, Mike Maddux said:

"He's the kind of guy you'd want your daughter to marry," said Maddux. "He's genuine. There's a lot of smarts behind the aw-shucks."

Ooooookay - I don't have a daughter, but I'm sure the bank account looks appealing, if nothing else.

Stark challenged Maddux on the "smarts" part of that quote (and shockingly, not the part about having Ben Sheets as a son-in-law) - did Maddux mean pitching smarts?

"Everything smarts," Maddux said. "He's got the memory of an elephant."

Uh, hold on. Are we sure that elephants really have good memories?

"So I've heard," Maddux laughed. "I don't really know, because I've never asked one. But P.T. Barnum said it once. And that's good enough for me."

P.T. Barnum, eh? Perhaps this is why our pitching staff is carrying a 14.98 ERA since May* - our pitching coach quotes Carnies. The team (especially the staff) has been quite a circus this year - maybe we have finally identified the reason why. At least he doesn't talk to elephants, apparently.

(*I made that up)

And finally, a good story about the Brewers is never complete without a cerebral quote from The Glue...

"We just have to be the best team for 29 games now," Jenkins said. "We don't have to be the best team for six months anymore. ... If we can just finish the way we started, we'll be in great shape."

So true, Glue...so true. If you manage to go 19-10 over the last 29 games (which is how you started the season) you are fairly likely to win the division.

Very Very Very Rewarding

Honestly, one of the best ad campaigns ever. Well, best ever if you have a retarded sense of humor like me. And such.

Yankee's Wang

On the ESPN.com homepage, the lead link on the right states: "Yankees Wave Magic Wang and Sweep RedSox."

Hee hee...

Bizzaro Brewers

Of course we all saw the 6-1 victory last night. The planets must have been aligned correctly because the following all happened in the same night:

• Sheets didn't get hurt
• They manufactured all 6 runs, no bombs
• Zero errors
• The bullpen didn't give up a run
• Tony didn't drink.

Well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad.

Two crafties tonight with Parra and Lilly.

Another Reason the Vikings Suck

From the GB Press Gazette:

Want to see the Green Bay Packers play the Minnesota Vikings in Minneapolis on Sept. 30? The Vikings have thousands of tickets available, and would love to sell them.

Facing a television blackout for the first time in 10 years, the Vikings are starting a big push to sell 5,800 tickets to their Sept. 9 home opener against the Atlanta Falcons, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

NFL rules require teams to sell out home games within 72 hours of kickoff to allow the games to be televised locally. The Vikings must sell 62,000 tickets, but they've sold only 56,200 for the Falcons game.

The Vikings earlier tried to pump up sales for the Falcons game by requiring anyone who wanted tickets to the Sept. 30 game against the Packers to buy the same number of tickets for the opener.

That didn't work as well as hoped.

Thousands of tickets remain for both games, as well as all six other Vikings home games.

2007 Badger Football: A Rundown

Lets not Focus on Brian Calhourn here. Focus on the Chris Pressley block. For those who remember, this was the 2005 Illinois game and Pressley sent this guy about 7 yards down the field on the fly and spung Calhoun for a TD. For more insane Pressley feats of strength, go to You Tube and type in his name.

Well, after a college basketball season that quickly lost steam in the last 3 weeks of the season and a MLB season that is seeing a first class meltdown by our Brewers, the optimism of football season is upon us. Being that I think the Packers are going to win 4 games this year (up from my earlier prediction of 3), I am pinning my remaining sports hopes for 2007 square on the shoulders of the Wisconsin Badgers football team.

There is a lot of optimism coming in to this season. They are coming off of two solid seasons after the program stagnated in the post-Rose Bowl years. The Badgers are ranked 7th in both the major polls and I would say at least 75% of the predictions I have seen from mainstream media sources have the Badgers playing in a BCS game. There is even talk of a possible national title shot.

A national title shot? Is that possible? I remember being at games in the'80's when they lost to Hawaii and Northern Illinois at home. I remember the stadium being pretty happy that we were only losing to Iowa by 10 at halftime. I was at Alvarez's first game against Cal and it didn't look much different than a Morton game. My first game as a student, a year the Badgers were supposed to sustain their momentum of the previous two seasons, we were killed by Colorado and later that season was the dreadful 3-3 tie against the Illini where Bevel almost died on the field.

Back then, I never thought Wisconsin football would be mentioned as a serious national title contender. But here we are in 2007 and on the strength of a 12-1 season, a great, young head coach and a boat load of returning starters, it is a possibility.

However, there are a couple key areas for this Badger team that scare me and in reality, I think this will be a 10-2 or 9-3 regular season. These concerns consist of:

• QB: I don't think Tyler Donovan is a very good QB. Allen Evridge was not able to overtake Donovan in fall practice. This does not bode well for the team. The hope was that one of the two guys would have a breakout camp and take the position. In reality, Donovan is the starting QB because they both were mediocre in camp and the coaches felt more comfortable with the guy who has been in the program for 5 years. Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Donovan will need to play better than he has for this team to make a BCS game. Sure he can run, but he can't throw worth a lick and his decision making skills are questionable at best (by this, I mean, I am not sure if as a first-year starter he wil be great at changing plays at the line of scrimmage or reading the hot routes). Some people praise Donovan for his game against Iowa last season. For those who don't remember, Iowa won 2 Big Ten games last season. Donovan would have looked a lot worse if it wasn't for Luke Swan. As a running QB, Donovan is going to take some hits. My hope is once Evridge sees the field, he is out there for good.


• RB Depth: P.J. Hill is a great back. It will be interesting to see what the 10 less pounds does for him this year. I am looking for another great year from P.J. However, if something happens to him, the Badgers are very thin at RB right now. For all the ability Lance Smith appears to have, he just doesn't seem to get "it". Every time he is brought up by the coaching staff, they say he needs to do the little things better, yet he never does. Right now, I don't feel good facing any Big Ten opponent with Donovan at QB and Smith as the #1 back. From the sounds of it Zach Brown will be decent, he just needs more time in the offense. Book is still out on Racine Johnny. If no one gets hurt, I could see a redshirt this season. We will be fine if P.J stays healthy, but if he goes down, it could get rough, fast.


• D-line Depth: This position looked a lot better at the beginning of camp than it did at the end of camp. Cooper went down swinging on strike 3 as he challenged Bielema to a fight. Several of the 2nd and third string guys went down due to injury. Kurt Ware is coming off a knee surgery. This unit will still be good. Shaughnessy (Nessy = tree fiddy) should be a beast now that he is fully recovered from his knee injury suffered two seasons ago. However, an injury here and there, and this unit could get depleted quickly.


• 2 New Safeties - Life and Times of Shane Carter and Aubrey Pleasant sound like they are two solid football players who are only going to get better. However, both missed all of last season with shoulder injuries and are getting their first extended taste of big time football this season. Things should be made easier on them with one outstanding corner in Ike and one very solid corner in Langford. However, they are going to have to step up and solidify the defensive backfield.


• O-Line overrated? - I am not sold on the offensive line right now. Everybody is back but Joe Thomas. But Thomas being gone is like taking Sheets out of the Brewers rotation. Everyone else suffers a bit with him not there. This is an OK group, but it would not surprise me to see them struggle at the beginning of the year. Even with Thomas, they looked like crap against Arkansas last season.

So, the Negative Nancy in me just picked out a bunch of issues that could derail this potential magical season for the Badgers. But don't get me wrong, there are many things to like about this team. The Defense should be very good. With excellent corners, a dominant LB corps and a solid, but thin, D-line, I don't see this D giving up over 20 points more than once this season. Both the kicking and punting games are above average. However the return units need to step up. They were just awful last year. You would think that on a campus of 40,000 somebody would be able to catch a punt. It doesn't even have to be a BB in the dark. The receiving game should be solid as well. Beckum is awesome and Crooks can do some damage as well. I was impressed with Hubbard's improvement last season and Swan "just makes plays". A healthy Pressley should do wonders for Hill. Remember, Rentmeester was also injured last season, so Hill never really had a healthy FB in front of him. As long as he can stay healthy, I look for a 1,600 - 1,7000 yards season from Hill. He is good.

After all that (crapper material for you Matera), what is my final prediction for the season? Well, I am going to say 10-2 or 9-3 (regular season). I think this team looks great, but I just can't get over the QB situation. If Stocco were back, I would easily buy in to the national title talk. However, I just don't see Donovan, or Evridge at this point, leading the team to a BCS game. The D will keep the team in every game, but at some point, the QB is going to need to make a play. If this team does go all the way, it's going to look a lot like the Ohio State team of 2002. Hey, Craig Krenzel won a national title, maybe Donovan can as well.

Anyhow, it should be another exciting year of going to games in Madison as well as the Illinois and Minnesota game for me. Looking forward to kicking it off bright and early this Saturday in my Josh Hunt game worn jersey with the Senator and making our way to the prime spot that Rick Deez, Diver and the crew call home to pre-game festivities. Tone Loc should be there, maybe Matt as well. Anyone else in? 2:30 game so that gives you an extra 3.5 hours to enjoy your cheep beer of choice and take in the scenery on a warm Madison day. Good Times. I will not reject this season!

Bucky, BCS Bound?

More high praise for Bucky. This time it's from the "experts" on CNNSI.com, as all 4 writers have Wisconsin playing in a BCS game.

Mandel:
National title: USC vs. LSU
Rose: Michigan vs. Rutgers
Fiesta: Texas vs. Wisconsin
Orange: Virginia Tech vs. West Virginia
Sugar: Florida vs. Oklahoma

Winn:
National title: LSU vs. West Virginia
Rose: Michigan vs. USC
Fiesta: Texas vs. Louisville
Orange: Virginia Tech vs. Wisconsin
Sugar: Hawaii vs. Florida

McCartney:
National title: USC vs. West Virginia
Rose: Michigan vs. Louisville
Fiesta: Texas vs. Wisconsin
Orange: Virginia Tech vs. Florida
Sugar: LSU vs. Oklahoma

Murphy:
National title: USC vs. West Virginia
Rose: Oklahoma vs. Wisconsin
Fiesta: Texas vs. Michigan
Orange: Virginia Tech vs. Louisville
Sugar: Florida vs. TCU

Doug Davis - Telling it Like it is.

Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Doug Davis told the Chicago Sun-Times that there was a curse at work on the Brewers' franchise.

"Yeah, the Selig Curse," Davis said, referring to the former owner of the Brewers and current commissioner of baseball.

"I don't want to bash the guy because obviously he's the boss of all baseball. But ever since the Seligs owned it, they really haven't done much with it. As soon as they got new ownership, all of a sudden it starts turning around. What's that say?"

Davis pitched for the Brewers from 2003-'06.

Source - Bob Wolfley, Milwaukee Journal Sentnal

Easy Yi Signs!

I guess all the pissing and moaning from Yi's camp was all a big waste of time. Yi is a Buck! What that means, exactly, we will soon find out. Rumor has it Major Goolsby's is turning into a Chinese restaurant.

Obviously, the Brewers Need to Win.

The Glue's use of the word "Obviously" is spreading around the clubhouse like a bad case of poison ivy. All from the same JS article.

"When you do those two things, it makes it more difficult," rookie third baseman Ryan Braun said. "Obviously, we need to do a better job of tacking on runs."

"We're trying to figure out how to be a playoff team," outfielder Corey Hart said. "Obviously, we haven't done it lately. We're just trying to find ourselves right now."

"We just need to start playing better and find ways to win games, regardless of who we're playing against. Obviously, the stakes are a little higher when we play the team we're chasing. It's a very important series. Obviously, we need to win it."

32 Games Left

Holy crap.

That's really all you can say about that disaster of a weekend in San Francisco. Luckily, real life interfered with my ability to watch much of the series, so I only got to catch a little on the radio on Friday night, but it appeared to be more of the same recipe for this Brewers team lately. When they lose, they lose pretty spectacularly, and it usually has to do with the starting pitchers putting the team in an early hole.

You've all heard the numbers lately - not pretty. 9 wins in their last 30 games. 14 games under .500 since just before the All Star break. Back to .500 after winning 24 of their first 34 games.

But I'm not going to concentrate on that. The reality is, I thought this would be an 84 win team this year. They're on pace to be a little worse than that, but there's still more than a month left. I never thought they would be as spectacularly good as they were for stretches this year. And I didn't think they'd be as spectacularly bad as they were in other parts of the season (we're going through a spectacularly bad stretch right now). What I'm going to try to figure out is what might happen for this team to right the ship over the last month. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe there is no more fight in this group. But I kind of think they have one last run in them.

Here are the keys:

1. Starting Pitching/ Ben Sheets. Fair or not, this free-fall that the starting staff has experienced directly coincides with Sheeter's injury in mid-July. This isn't surprising - when he went down, everybody else had to step up, and some of these guys either could not or would not do it. Gallardo has been up and down, as you thought he might being a young guy getting his first taste of the bigs. If Sheets can come back healthy (and that's still an if), perhaps everyone will feel more comfortable moving back a slot on the staff. And he should be fresh - it would be like picking up another quality arm for the stretch drive. It sounds like Vargas is hurt now - that may or may not be a bad thing. [By the way - after the Suppan start tomorrow, the next three starters are named "to be announced", according to the Brewers website. I don't know who that is, but I hope he carries a sub 5 ERA.]

2. Some Veteran Help. It would really be nice if somebody like Johnny Estrada, Geoff Jenkins or somebody like that would get smoking hot over the next few weeks. The Glue is known for having flammable Septembers, but that's usually when the team is 15 to 20 games out in the standings. Prince, JJ and Braun have all carried the team for certain stretches - it would be nice if somebody else could step up too.

3. September Call-ups. The rosters expand on September 1. In years past, this meant pulling up all the kids on a team way out of contention to see what kind of players might be contributing in a couple of years. This year, it might be that one or more of these guys becomes big contributors for a playoff push. The Brewers still have major league talent at AAA, including Gwynn, Nix, Villanueva, Aquino, etc. The fresh energy and new faces might shake up the locker room.

4. Remaining Schedule. The Brewers have 32 games left - 16 at home and 16 on the road. They play the Cubs (3), Pittsburgh (6), Houston (6), Cincinnati (6), Atlanta (4), St. Louis (3) and San Diego (4). The Cubs are on the road, they have home and away series with the Pirates, Astros and Reds, Atlanta is on the road and St. Louis and the Padres are at home. Not an easy schedule, not a brutal one - a lot of games in the division, which until recently would have been a good thing. It's certainly a schedule that they could run through for a stretch.

5. Just Have Fun. We've been through a lot as Brewers fans - this is just another step in a journey to respectability. It's been frustrating as hell watching this team for much of the season, but maybe they have one more special run in them this year. Recent performance would suggest it's unlikely, but I still have hope. There are likely to be changes this off-season regardless of what happens. Maybe Yost goes, maybe Maddux does, maybe they both go. The only sure things on the coaching staff is that Billy Castro is going to be the bullpen coach and Marcus Hanel will be the bullpen catcher. Since many of us have given up on this team a couple of times this season, only to have the sheer crappiness of this division pull us back in, I've decided I might as well enjoy it.

That's my 2 cents, as I sit here in my retro Brewers pullover that I wore on Opening Day, when the Brewers were undefeated and all was right in the world. Maybe we can feel like we did walking out of Miller Park after watching Sheets spin that 2-hour gem just one more time this season.

Or perhaps we'll have to wait until next year. But at least next year doesn't look as hopeless as a lot of the recent "next years" have looked...

Nails Looking for Work

The Astros fired Phil Garner today.

I'm sure Brad is hoping the Brewers go after Nails in the offseason, so he can re-live the Garner "glory years" here in Milwaukee.

Happyness in Brewerland!

Sort of. AAA Nashville wrapped up their third consecutive division title and fourth in five years with a 1-0 victory over Oklahoma.

That's not the type of division title we envisioned in May.

Don't look!

The Brewers are blowing up before our very eyes. Matt with a detailed report tonight...

Giants Dodge Prince

Well, Prince will start serving his suspension tonight, after MLB agreed to reduce it to 2 games. Fielder will be out tonight and tomorrow.

Who replaces him? Joe Dillon? Corey Hart (I think he played some first in the minors)? And does Braun move back to the 3-hole? Noah Lowry has 13 wins?

Many questions.

Packers - Jags, 7:00 PM

"Eat Curly's turf Byron!"

Keep Your Eyes Open For:

Offensive Line Push - Jax has two monsters in the middle of their D-Line with Big John Henderson and Marcus Stroud. GB made progress in the running game last week after looking awful in week 1. If Wells, Colledge, and Spitz can get some push...that would be huge.

Atari - Looked like a man possessed last week rushing the QB like a crazy man. That's great, but lets see if his coverage skills are adequate. Then again, he has to be better than Manuel

Byron Leftwich's Head - If the GB defense gets pressure on the QB like last week, they might decapitate the glacial-like Leftwich.

Special Teams - This area has significantly improved from a few years ago. We now have two good kickers, a good punter, and return teams that can actually start drives past their own 25.

Harrell - Our first rounder has yet to even look decent in games and/or practice. He's supposed to get some reps with the 1st team tonight. When he does, it would be nice to see some sort of ability. I'm not calling him a bust, I'm just saying.

Tom Haudricourt - Crabby Pants

Tom Haudricourt got a little wound up in his blog responding to a reader comment. Sounds like he needs a nap.

I Wish it Would Stop Raining

I'm pretty sure I saw Yoda on my way to work this morning.

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When, exactly, did Milwaukee become a part of the Dagobah System?

Texans 30, Ravens 3....wait....

Can somebody please pull Texas off of the Baltimore Orioles? Rangers 30, O's 3. Forget Gibby's home run off Eck. Forget Twins/Braves, Game 7, 1991. Forget Yanks/DBacks, Game 7, 2001. This easily becomes my favorite baseball game of all time. Here's why:

• The O's actually lead 3-0! Nothing like giving up 30 unanswered in a baseball game.
• Believe it or not, it was only a 5-3 ballgame going into the 6th!
• This was Baltimore's first game since extending manager Dave Trembley's contract. Way to show support guys!
• It was the first end of a double header! Can you hear Miggy saying "We have to play another f-ing game after this one?"
• Not since the Chicago Colts dropped hammer on the Louisville Colonels 36-7 in 1897 has a team score so many runs. This was the William McKinley administration, by the way.
• Paul Shuey (Matt's brother?) gave up 9 runs to end the game. Shuey may have pitched for the Colonels at one point.
• Good thing Baltimore got those 3 or it would have really been out of control.
• And the best of all...(clearing my throat)....RANGER PITCHER WES LITTLETON RECORDED THE SAVE!!!!!!!!!!!! In a 30-3 ballgame, the winning team recorded a save!!! Read that last sentence over and over. The save is now officially the gayest statistic in recorded sports history.

Big-11 Fans: Stock Up On Ear Plugs!!

The Big Ten Network released their announcing crews. After Brennaman and Larrivee, not much name-power here (Butler By'not'e Me!). And if any of these others sound anything like Mike Tomczak, hit the mute button. Immediatley. Without hesitation. Trust me. He was just on Madison radio breaking down the Big Ten, and.....HOLY SHIT!!! My ears are still bleeding!!! First, the marbles need to get out of his mouth. Second, know your stuff. While listing the top 5 teams, he included Indiana, but not Penn St. When asked about the Nittney's, Tomczak said "Oh yeah, I forgot about them..." WTF?? Third, he was so quiet, it was hardley recognizable! I think he had Michgan State as his sleeper, but I'm not sure. Then, this gem: Question: "Do you think Lloyd Carr should be on the hot seat at Michigan?" His response: "Well, if they don't beat Michigan again this year the pressure will be high..." Finally, he had a last second plug for the network telling folks to call Direct TV to get all the action. He spit out this plug in a shade under 32 seconds.

Train with a great response: "If I didn't know who was talking I would have thought it was some guy calling from Verona."

1) Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis
2) Wayne Larrivee and Chris Martin
3) Mark Neely and Glen Mason
4) Roger Twibell and Mike Tomczak (the ex-QB)
5) Jim Kelly (not the ex-QB) and Richard Baldinger
6) Scott Graham and Derrick Walker
7) Ron Thulin and Butler By'not'e

The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friends

"What made Milwaukee famous has made a loser out of me."

So, as all of you have probably heard by now, the repo man hath laid his fury upon Latrell Sprewell's yacth "Milwaukee's Best". It appears as if our friend Latrell has not been making his $10,000 monthly payments on time and let his insurance lapse.

This is a huge blow to Milwaukee, in my opinion. Something exciting seemed to happen on Milwaukee's Best on a yearly basis. In 2003, Latrell broke his hand when getting into a fight on his yacht after some chick vomited on it. This led to me naming my fantasy football team for the season "Captain Spre's Vomit Yacht". Last year, some chick accused Latrell of choking her during consensual sex on the boat. Later last summer, the boat ran aground off a beach in Shorewood and the Coast Guard had to get involved. Good Times!

I, for one, am very sad that Milwaukee's Best will no longer be around. Seems like that was a great place to hang out. Plus, Milwaukee was probably a saner place with Latrell out on the lake.

Other quick hitters:

• I went to my local Quiznos during lunch today and apparently they got rid of the Honey Bacon Club. WTF? Why wasn't I consulted about this. Granted, it has probably been 3 months since i ate at a Quiznos, but man that was a downer at lunch.
• The other day on NBA TV, they were showing replays of some basketball tournament in China from earlier this summer. The US was represented by the D-League All-Stars and sure as shit, our boy Rick Rickert was on that team. Good to see rick making a name for himself in the D-League.
• Seth McClung......erg.
• Still holding out at 4 wins for the Packers.
  

Sweep The D-Backs!!

TD it is!

According to various sources I don't have links to, Tyler Donavan wins the QB battle over Allan Evridge. Train has been in a deep depression ever since. I might have to take him to a local establishment over lunch.

Get to the Back of the Line, Hunt

Not welcome on the bandwagon.

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Is it a coincidence that just when Journal Sentinel columnist (and village idiot) Mike Hunt hopped off the Brewers bandwagon, the team started playing well again?

.

I think not. Good riddance.

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Oh, and Brad is going to have a tough time getting back on the bandwagon too.

Milwaukee Brewers, Road Warriors

Brewers pound the 'Backs last night, winning their 4th road game in the last 5 tries.

• Does Gross have a good roid dealer in Nashville or something?
• Two straight strong pitching outings? Who saw that coming?
• Is it just me, or did Dick Weeks gain like 15 pounds last week? Maybe he doesn't look good in grey or something.
• Just like last time they played Arizona....How the hell is that team in first place? Not only in first, but 17 games over .500 coming into the series????? Eric Byrnes for MVP? Look at the rest of that lineup!
• Suppan beating Webb tonight would be a bigger upset than Hickory over South Bend Central. "Coach.....I'll make it."
  

Not Quite Moss, Carter, and Cunningham

First Darren Sharper. Then Ryan Longwell. Now, it's Bob Ferguson signing with the Queens, which says a lot about their WR situation. And their lovefest for Packer castoffs. Fergy joins this fine receiving corps: Bobby Wade, Troy Williamson, Aundrae Allison, Sidney Rice, Jason Carter, Cortez Hankton, Jimmy Kleinsasser, Visanthe Shiancoe (WTF?), and Dick Owens. Where's Leo Lewis when you need him? Oh, and the guys throwing the ball: Tarvaris Jackson, Brooks Bollinger, and Drew Henson.

WIsconsin vs Minnesota Football game 2005

This is always fun to watch!

Forgot

Forgot to mention the true highlight at Curly Field on Saturday. Halftime. The score is about 38-10 at this point. I make my way to the john for a little relief. With the great score and 7:00 start (triples the tailgate time compared to the normal noon start), the scene is utter chaos. As luck would have it, I step up to the urinal right next to the most sauced guy of the bunch. He's a big, older black guy with messed up teeth. Looks at me and starts saying (yelling) "Bring on the regular season! Let's go! Bring on the regular season." During the first sliver of silence, I look at him and scream "LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Keep in mind we are both pissing right now. My chant seemed to fire my new friend up as he yelled:
"LETS DO THIS F-ING SH_T!!!!"
"LETS DO THIS F-ING SH_T!!!!"
"LETS DO THIS F-ING SH_T!!!!"
Repeat about 63 more times. I've never been so amused/scared in all my life. Good times at Curly.

Notre Dame QB's, not Bulletproof

Any reason to bash Notre Dame is a good reason. The latest event is uber-recruit Jimmy Claussen (age, 19) getting busted with two handles of Smirnoff and 30 bullets of Natty Light. Good work Jimmy. Natty Light? Was Larry Eustachy coming over?

Uh Oh!

Why does this can say "A Good Source of Sugar"? WTF?

The D-backs have the Brewers right where they want them as the Brewers lead 6-0 after 2. Obviously Arizona has done some advanced scouting and knows just how to attack the Brewers. On a related noted, maybe Davis' arm became cashed tonight.

Easy There, Cowboy...Easy

People have accused me of being way too optimistic of the '07 Packers. That's nothing compared to KGB's take (said on a radio show right after Saturday's game):

"Were going to the super bowl and we have the guys in this locker room to do it."

Packers: A Bunch, Seahawks: Not so much

Went to the Packer game this weekend. Here are some random notes. Keep in mind I was fairly sauced, so my vision/memory was a little blurred.

• If Bigby isn’t a starting safety, I’ll vomit
• The offense moved the chains with some regularity. Jackson wasn’t spectacular, but got the job done.
• Cullen Jenkins is a beast. Granted, Seattle sat their two starting tackles. He was wreaking havoc when they moved him to DT during 3rd downs. He and Kampman for a very solid pair.
• Justin Harrell looked terrible. Me thinking to myself: “Wow, #91 sucks. He’s doing nothing. I hope that’s not Harrell” Pull out the roster and see Justin Harrell #91. Me, screaming in my head: “DAMNIT!!!”
• James Jones making plays (again). Hey, where’s Jennings been?
• Will Blackman with a huge kick return. When’s the last time we had a really long kick/punt return? Seemed like our drives started at about the 22 every single kick return for the last 5 years
• Rodgers again looked pretty effective.
• Teams will find running up the gut rather difficult this year.
  

Time for the lame/odd jersey in the stands recap:

• Bart Starr, Numerous LeRoy Butler’s, Sterling Sharpe, Reggie White, Lynn Dickey, Ray Nitchke, Robert Brooks.
• But the best of the night: #26 Cecil. Sweet.
  

Bobby Knight Is Not a Patient Man

Some of you might have seen this before, but man it's funny. When he was coaching at Indiana, Bobby Knight used to host a TV show called "Golf Your Way".

Whoever thought of putting Coach Knight and golf together was clearly a genius. There's not a more frustrating sport in the world than golf, and there's not a more hilarious person in the world to watch when he's frustrated than Bobby Knight.

Enjoy some outtakes from this gem of a show. As you might expect, every other word out of Bobby's mouth is an F bomb, so be careful...

Golf Your Way

Where's Our Logo?

It seems our giant Brewer logo on the right side of Chuckie Hacks is missing. I know we suck right now, but that's not a good reason. Did the Cardinals steal the Hacks ball and glove logo on their way out of town? OK, then. First the Cards take out bats away, then all of our good pitches, now the Chuckie Hacks logo? What gives?

Bob Ferguson: Gonzo

The Packers are looking to trade, or release WR Robert Ferguson. Trade him? For what? A case of Pabst and some athletic tape? Who's gonna give up anything for this guy? Every year he was supposed to break out, every year he caught like 25 balls. Slowly, but surely the Mike Sherman era-draftees are leaving town. That can only be a good thing, sans Kampman, Barnett and maybe a couple others.

An Open Letter to the Milwaukee Brewers

To the Team Formerly Known as the Milwaukee Brewers:

We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.

Trying to Stay Hopeful

Searching for something to be positive about right now as a Brewers fan? This sounds kind of positive for Ben Sheets.

St. Louis 8, Milwaukee 0

Be Afraid, Very Afraid

This is the new Marquette logo. It's better than the old Eagle, not as classy as last year's giant MU, but, of course, nothing beats the original.

Not sure I like it. Kind of resembles a Chinese throwing star. Can't really see hoards of people running out to get a new T-shirt with this thing on it.

One Man's Packer Rant

I’m stunned at the bitterness most people have for this year’s Packers. I’ve herd “3, maybe 4 wins” from a number of people who’s opinion I respect. I don’t get it. They won 8 games last year. Yeah, it really felt like I was watching a 5 win team, but they squeezed out 8. Sure, the Bears didn’t care in week 17, the Vikings were terrible, blah, blah, blah. They could have won 10, could have won 5, but they got 8. Good job McCarthey.

Let’s look at the list of rookies or guys who came from nowhere who saw significant action last year: Greg Jennings, Daryn Colledge, Tony Moll, Jason Spitz, Brandon Miree, Vernand Morency, Corey Williams, Cullen Jenkins, AJ Hawk, Brady Poppinga, Patrick Dendy, Dave Rayner, Jon Ryun, and the entire coaching staff. That’s a big list. And they won 8 games. And don't forget Ahmad Carroll was on the field last year...he's the worst corner in football history. This year’s list should be significantly shorter: Brandon Jackson, James Jones, Atari Bigbie, and maybe Mason Crosby (who’s in a virtual tie with Rayner for the kicking duties). In 2007, the entire first list of guys return. They all have a year of NFL experience under their belts with the new coaching staff. But now they’re gonna go from 8 wins to 3?? I don’t get it?

This isn’t a “They should have traded Moss,” or “TT should have drafted so and so” post…this is just looking at the roster today vs last year. I know, everyone is saying “They don't have any playmakers.” True, but did they have any last year? Don’t give me Ahman, his “playmaker” days were over 3 years ago.

The schedule does look tough. Then again, how often does that play out for the entire year? The MNF schedule looks great every week at the beginning of the year, only to disappoint by week 6.

Maybe I’m missing something. I’m just stunned how many people are saying they are destined to win 3 games…with essentially the same roster that won 8 last year with a plethora of rookies/newcomers. Am I saying they will improve from 8 to 10? No. I am saying 8 is very realistic, more than 3 or 4. Of course, I picked the Germans in WWII, so what do I know?

St Louis 8, Milwaukee 3

"Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was..."

Talking Heads - 1980

Prince Suspended 3 Games

The JS Online is reporting that Prince has been suspended for 3 games, presumably for nudging the umpire in his hissy fit last Sunday.

In the upcoming appeal, I would argue that Prince clearly has no control over his belly, and shouldn't be held liable for any of its actions (like bumping into an umpire, or inhaling a buffet spread).

Bucky's BBall Schedule Released

Nov. 4
EDGEWOOD COLLEGE

Nov. 7
UW-EAU CLAIRE

Nov. 11
IUPUI-FORT WAYNE

Nov. 15
SAVANNAH STATE

Nov. 16
FLORIDA A&M

Nov. 17
COLORADO

Nov. 24
GEORGIA

Nov. 27
at Duke(ACC-Big Ten Challenge)

Dec. 3
WOFFORD

Dec. 8
MARQUETTE

Dec. 12
at UW-Milwaukee

Dec. 15
UW-GREEN BAY

Dec. 22
VALPARAISO

Dec. 29
at Texas

Jan. 2
at Michigan

Jan. 5
IOWA

Jan. 10
ILLINOIS

Jan. 15
at Penn State

Jan. 19
NORTHWESTERN

Jan. 22
MICHIGAN

Jan. 26
at Purdue

Jan. 31
INDIANA

Feb. 3
at Minnesota

Feb. 6
at Iowa

Feb. 9
PURDUE

Feb. 13
at Indiana

Feb. 16
MINNESOTA

Feb. 20
at Illinois

Feb. 23/24
at Ohio State

Feb. 28
MICHIGAN STATE

March 4/5
PENN STATE

March 8/9
at Northwestern

Couple of thoughts:

• Watch out for the UWEC Blugolds, right Brad?
• At Duke in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge - that should be cool.
• At Texas in the final game before the Big Ten - another solid non-conference roadie, but thankfully Mr. Durant is no longer a Longhorn. A preview of things to come, if Texas joins the Big Ten?
• They only get Michigan State once (at home) and play OSU once (on the road). Better than playing those teams 3 times, like last year.
• A pretty easy start to the Big Ten schedule, they could gain some confidence which is good as they adjust to the loss of seniors Tucker and Taylor.
• Tough stretch at the end of the year, at Illinois, at OSU, at home against MSU.
• Chalk Feb. 13 down as a loss - it is impossible for Wisconsin to win at Indiana (it's 8 on 5, with the refs sending the Hoosiers to the line 40 times a game).
• UW isn't afraid to go to UWM, like the pansy Marquette Gold is.

Capuano Needs to Dust Off the Funky McNasty Pitch

What is that, 15 or 16 straight losses in games that Capuano has started? They might as well run Goldy out on the bump every five days - he told me he topped out at 68 mph at a speed pitch thing they did at work a few weeks back.

They couldn't do any worse - as long as Goldy is willing to eat innings and take a pounding, he could even save the bullpen.

Favre Moping Around Camp

"Can't it be 1996 again?"

JS with a story about Favre not being his usual self in camp. Does he think this team sucks? Does he realize he's done? Is the passion gone? Does he regret not retiring? Does it hurt him to know for the first time in a while he's not 10 times better than his backup?

"In '99 there'd be one a day where you'd go, 'Holy (bleep), I can't believe he made that throw,' " Mike McCarthy said Tuesday. "It's not like the old days, but to me that's good, because I don't need him to play like a wild stallion anymore. We're not built that way."

It's hard to say where Favre is coming from these days. In practice, he has exhibited almost none of the happy-go-lucky qualities that lightened the camp load. And in his infrequent strolls through the locker room during media periods, he has had a blank expression on his face.

On Tuesday, Favre never laughed once during a 27-minute briefing with reporters. He spoke of his enthusiasm for the task at hand but his body language really didn't back it up

Brewers Status Check

Thanks to Pat Lackey from AOL Fanhouse who asked us to participate in a "Brewer Status Check" convirsation along with the good folks from the Brewers Bar and The Wisconsin Sports Bar. Pat also contributes to a great Pirates blog called Where have you gone, Andy Van Slyke.

Brewers Status Check Link

Aaaarrggghhhh. Finally...

Me watching the top of the 5th last night.

...the top of the 5th ends. Single, strikeout, wild pitch, hit by pitch, error (grounder ate Braun for lunch), single, exit Crappy - enter Parra, walk (on 4 pitches), single, walk (on 4 pitches), sac fly, 8-3. Ouch.

Some more recurring issues: hot start gets a 3-0 1st inning lead (on 2 bombs, no less), but have not had a baserunner reach second base since (currently the top of 6). Bad fielding by Dick Weeks (he has to throw out Kip friggin Wells at first), and Braun. Cappy probably should have been pulled in the 5th...but the bully is gassed - I'm not blaming Yost for not pulling Cappy here. Oh, and Kip friggin Wells is lighting us up: both on the mound and in the box.

FRUSTRATING!!!!! It's only the 6th, still time.

Lou Holtz - Irish Cheerleader

Granny Holtz: Part human. Part tiger cat. All idiot.

So I came across Mark May and Grandma Lou Holtz picking their College Football top 10 on BooYaCenter last night. Unfortunately, I stopped to watch. The top 10 was pretty standard: USC, LSU, Wisconsin 4th, blah, blah, blah. The fun started when the host, Rece Davis, asked “give me a team just outside your top 10?” Mark May gives us TCU of the Mountain West. Not too big of a shocker, many have them as this year’s Boise St. If they get past Texas (yes, that’s a big “if"), they go undefeated. Then comes Granny Holtz with……you guessed it….Notre Dame!! May and Davis even started ripping him. They lose their QB, RB, and top 2 WRs from a team that wasn’t even top 10 last year!! I’ve herd educated football people say they have a chance to go 6-6, a good chance.

This is just one example of the annoying homerism on ESPN. Has anyone else noticed? Actually, how can’t you. In 2005, Boston homer (and great baseball writer) Peter Gammons picked the following: David Ortiz for AL MVP, Pedro Martinez for NL Cy Young, and Nomar Garciaparra (WTF?) for NL MVP. See a trend here? If it's Tom Jackson and Mark Schlereth propping Denver, Steve Phillips the Mets, or Mike Irvin the Cowboys, the homerism by these ESPN personalities never cease to amaze.

Unfortunately "Easy Lover" did not catch on

Doug Melvin has his own nickname for Ryan Braun:

Doug Melvin, the Brewers' general manager, isn't the Delta-house, gotta-give-everybody-a-nickname type. But he has come up with one for Braun. "I don't use it around here (with the team) but I do in the front office," Melvin said. "I call him the 'Braun-tosaurus.' That's a nickname I put on him early. Because he's going to put up monster numbers."

The article also notes that Braun drives a 2000 Honda Accord. This is a popular choice among Rookies of the Year and Frito Lay workers!

Jon Miller...Oops

Found this one from AwfulAnouncing.com. Longtime ESPN baseball broadcaster Jon Miller mixes up the Lee’s: Derek and Carlos. No big deal….until he tries to apologize:

Well, during the commercial break, someone on ESPN’s crack production squad must have told Miller that Carlos Lee doesn’t play for the Cubs and that Derrek Lee is the Cubs’ first baseman, so he issued a “correction” (again, paraphrased) …

"Folks, before the break, I misidentified the Cubs first baseman, Derrek Lee, as being Carlos Lee. Carlos Lee plays up in Milwaukee, where he signed a big long-term contract over the offseason."

Um. OK then…thanks for clearing that up?

Big Home Stand

The Crew with a big home stand vs St Louis and Cinci this week. 4, or 5 wins would be optimal as next week's roadie could be dangerous. 9 games, 3 on the west coast then the final series vs those damn Cubbies. That could be the make-or-break stretch of the year.

First things first: St Louis. They're sitting a no-so-comfortable 5.5 games back. Dick Ankiel may be the spark plug the Redbirds have been looking for. Considering they've missed Chris Carpenter all year and one of their teammates died, Tony LaVodka has done a great job keeping them in the running. Then again, the Brewers/Cubs have done their part too. Does anybody want this crappy division?

JJ has shown signs of life, finally. As has Jenks. The bullpen has been Louganis about 4 out of every 5 games.

Where was Ned yesterday when Prince was ready to fight the umpire? Get out there Ned! Get in Blue's face so you get tossed and Prince doesn't! WTF?

Your Daily Johnny Clay Update

Source: Racine Journal Times

Johnny Clay, the University of Wisconsin’s blue-chip football recruit from Racine, has completed his summer school work and will find out fairly soon whether he’ll be eligible to play for the Badgers this fall.

Clay, a 6-foot-2, 222-pound running back from Park High School, took two English classes this summer at Horlick High School with the hopes of gaining his eligibility.

While neither Wisconsin nor Park officials would discuss Clay’s situation, it was believed Clay needed an "A’’ and a "B’’ in those courses to be eligible at Wisconsin.

It’s unknown how long it’ll take Clearinghouse officials to make a final determination on Clay’s status, although there is speculation it’ll be within two weeks.

Even if Clay is cleared to play, it’s still highly unlikely he’d be ready to play in the Badgers’ season opener Sept. 1 against Washington State.

Clay would, however, likely be ready to play in the Badgers’ Big Ten opener Sept. 22 against Iowa at Camp Randall in Madison.

The Shermanator

Good thing the Michael S. era is over in Green Bay. Unfortunately for Texan fans, he's brought down plenty of the Packer rejects with him. Check out the list of former Packers/Badgers on the Houston offense...crazy:

Ron Dayne, Samkon Gado, Ahman Green, Mike Flanagan, Ben Steele, Owen Daniels, Vonta Leech, and Kevin Barry.

Heisman Winner, 2019

You may have seen this already. Some 8 year old kid looking like the white Reggie Bush. I don't care who he's running circles around...this is both impressive and funny. He could top out athletically at age 11 (like that kid everyone knew in little league with the full grown beard), but whatever.

Video Link.

Packers/Steelers Quick Hitters

If Gilbert looked like this in his playing days, what does he look like now?

A quick recap of tonight's Packers/Steelers exhibition game:

The Good:

• Aaron Rodgers. Pretty much every person I know absolutely hates this guy. I still don't know why. He looked good in the pocket and on the run. Sure, he'll never be #4 (of course), but I feel he can be at least a servicable NFL QB. Then again, we may never know as Favre probably thinks he has 5 more years left in him.
• The D-Line. This line will be a bitch this year. Cullen Jenkins was the biggest standout with a speed rush, strip and recovery all in one. He added another sack.
• James Jones looked pretty good. I'll say it again: This year's Jennings?
• Pass blocking.
• Brandon Jackson showed a little burst...vs the second string D
• Corners Will Blackman and Jarrett Bush both made a few play
• The punter and kickers looked good. Rookie K Mason Crosby nailed a 52 yarder

The Bad:

• The First string offense did nothing. Ditto for the Steelers
• The Safety position. Wow. These guys are terrible. They're going to make a pretty formidable front 7 look bad by giving up big plays all year long. Atari Bigby was having a good camp. He and Marviel Underwood pretty much shit the bed tonight. Brutal
• Bubba Franks is Louganis. Dropped an easy 10 yard pass from Rodgers. This guy is done. Can we just make him a glorified tackle and call him Tootie Robbins at this point?
• I was waiting with bated breathe to see Pitt's new mascot, Steely McBeam. Part Bill Cowher, part homosexual, part guy on Dire Straits "Money for Nothing" video. Didn't see it.
• Dick Gannon is a below average color man
• The run blocking was poor, at best

Braun-Gone

Ryan is so good, he already has his own acadamy.

Brauny's heroics wins it for the Brewers...is that two straight road wins?? Hindenburg Lidge blows up again in the 9th. Braun, my man-crush for you has never been bigger. In fact, I created a little song for him. It's called "An Ode to #8" and it goes a little something like this:

Ryan's the best, around!
Nothings gonna ever keep Ryan down,
Ryan's the best, around!
Nothings gonna ever keep Ryan down,
Ryan's the best, around!
Nothings gonna ever keep Ryan dooooooowwwwwn

A Simple Solution

As I half-heartedly monitored tonight's game at home, knawing on some China King, watching the hideous Topher Grace-less "That 70's Show" (it's kind of like a train wreck - you can't look away...although now that I think of it, I've never seen a train wreck, so scratch that) and flipping back to the Brewers game periodically, I came to a realization: I need to re-dedicate myself. I've been dicking off for the last 2 months or so. No more.

So in the 11th, I sat my ass on the couch, cracked open a Miller Lite, and really focused on this thing. I mean I was locked in. And what happened?.

The Brewers score a 2-out run (never happens), Coco struck out the side in the bottom of the frame on the road (never happens), Brewers win (never happens - lately)..

So the lesson? Drink more Miller Lite.

Or...

Or...

Matty V: Not a Fan of St. Louis

The blog Awful Announcing brings us this gem from our old friend Matt Vasgersian...who will not be spending his vacation time in St Louis, to be sure:

8-06-07 " ....As one of the ozarks finest pours himself out of the grandstands.....(pause)...and by the way the Rams should still be in L.A.......Had it with this place already.....(pause)....get back in your el camino and drive back to the ozarks..........."

Then with Baird at bat he forgot to hit his cough switch, in faint audio you here

"......Im done with this place...Im so tired of losing here.....Its hotter than shit......We get our asses kicked every time we come here .....Im not coming here next year."

Good stuff, he tries to play it off as if nothing happened. He actually responds to the blog:

Outstanding give and take fellas ... I'm digging all the grief this seems to have caused. As a loyal AA/Deadspin guy I'm actually pretty fired up to have landed on the radar here. In fairness to the sweaty Midwest, all that "St. Louis bashing" was for the benefit of the locals on our crew who like to ride us San Diegans about being slapped around by the Redbirds in the post-season every friggin' year. Not to mention I proudly rocked an El Camino back in the day myself. Keep blasting !! Now if you'll excuse me there's a celebrity pull-my-finger tournament looking for a play-by-play guy.

Second Rate Announcer,

Matt Vasgersian

Moose Haas: Bikini Contest Judge

Picked up a copy of The Onion today at lunch at my local Big Mike's. There is an ad for the Miss Hawaiian Tropic International Bikini Contest Wisconsin State Finals to be held August 18th at Potawatomi. The highlight here is the list of "Celebrity" judges (I had to look up who some of these guys were):

• Kato Kaelin (not proud to say I now live in the city he grew up in)
• Dan Haggerty (according to Wikipedia," the burly, bearded star of TV's "Grizzly Adams".)
• George Thompson (Former Marquette baller; man pissed off his retired number was worn by Lazar Hayward last season)
• Joe Panos (Cleared paths for Moss and Fletcher and some jokers with the Eagles and Bills)
• Hacienda Brothers (some sort of country/R&B band)
• Art Kramer (Milwaukee Wave Assistant coach)
• Adam Burish (Former Badger hockey player, plays for the always crappy Blackhawks)
• Moose Haas (Career total of 100 wins and a 4.01 ERA. Would probably be the ace of the current Brewers staff)
• Jerry Augustine (Former Brewer and UWM baseball coach. Also a career 0-2 record as manager against the Racine Post 546 Legion team. in the early 90's. Unfortunately we did not fare as well against the Greg Brock lead Muskego team.)
• Alley Faith (Morning radio person on some station in Milwaukee)
• Steve Haywood (Sports talk Radio guy in Milwaukee)
• Tom Sutton (Former Channel 12 Sportscaster)
• Joel Gawronski (Even Google couldn't help me here, something to do with volleyball, I gathered)

I think Brad Chopp (Founder of the sports blog Chuckie Hacks) would have fit in with this group of jokers.

• 
  

Criminals in Two Rivers: Not the Brightest.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Great story from today's J-S.





An 18-year-old Two Rivers man was seriously burned when he and another man attempted to remove gasoline from a riding lawn mower that ignited when one of them lit a flame to illuminate the area, according to the Manitowoc County Sheriff's Department.The man was taken by private vehicle to Aurora Medical Center in Two Rivers after yesterday's incident but was later transferred to Columbia St. Mary's Regional Burn Center in Milwaukee.According to the sheriff's department, the dispatch center received a 911 call shortly before 4 a.m. reporting a fire in the Town of Two Rivers. Fire officials there confirmed that a large storage shed was fully engulfed in flames.Further investigation confirmed that the burn victim was related to the fire.Investigators learned that the victim and a second man, also 18, went to the property and entered the storage shed with the intent to remove the gasoline from the riding lawnmower when the explosion occurred.The second 18-year-old was arrested and is being held in Manitowoc County on unspecified felony charges.Information available this morning does not indicate whether the man that was burned was also arrested.





First off, how large is the tank on a riding mower? 3 or 4 gallons? So, these morons were trying to steal $12 worth of gas? Also, I would have loved to hear how the conversation went when they decided to use a lighter as a source of light. For some reason I picture Beavis and Butthead doing this in Mr. Anderson's shed.

Milwaukee Tourism Update

Just a quick note for those of you perhaps planning a nice summer getaway to Milwaukee this weekend...well, you might want to reconsider. Wild dogs have taken control of the city. Go to Racine instead. It's safer.

Wild Thing Returns

Former Cards pitcher Richard Ankiel is back in the bigs...as an outfielder. He's 0-3 as of right now. No word yet if he's launched multiple throws 14 feet wide of the cutoff men.

The End of Counsenino

Miller Park artist rendition of Counsenino - the two-headed monster.

.

The two-headed monster known as "Counsenino" has been mothballed for 2007, as word is that Tony Graffanino, the more productive half, has a torn ACL and is out for the year.

.

Enter: Rickie Weeks. Hmm...sparkplug?

Adam Jones Continues to Entertain

Invites to the Goldsworthy Summer Cook-Out did not look like this.

Pacman Jones. Master of the English language:

Jones told ESPN2 that he did visit a strip club the night before a hearing with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in New York in April. Jones said he went in to get something to eat and that was what he told Goodell.
"If I could do anything different, I wouldn't have went and gotten nothing to eat then. There wasn't even no girls in there," he said with a smile.

Must have been an English major at West Virginia.

Paul Thompson = Ray Finkle

Looks like scrub QB Paul Thompson likes to throw the ball "laces out," Ray Finkle style. Umm, the QB coach might want to work on this....

"Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn..."

WTF?

I'm sick as a dog here at home, with no Brewer game on. Double farts. Checked the score for the first time and see 9-0 Colorado and they have the bases loaded. Yo must be getting pointers from Cappy.

I'm Saying 1-5 at the Bye Week

Best case scenario, how many wins can the Packers muster from this brutal schedule?

Philadelphia Eagles

@ New York Giants

San Diego Chargers

@ Minnesota Vikings

Chicago Bears

Washington Redskins

BYE

@ Denver Broncos

@ Kansas City Chiefs

Minnesota Vikings

Carolina Panthers

@ Detroit Lions (Thanksgiving)

@ Dallas Cowboys

Oakland Raiders

@ St. Louis Rams

@ Chicago Bears

Detroit Lions

Bonds Finally Hit #756

ESPN2 can now return to its regularly-scheduled summer programming, which includes poker reruns, billiards and boxing. Each of which is more interesting than a 2007 San Francisco Giants game.

Rockies 11, Brewers 4

These guys are a first place team? Wasn't able to see, or hear, a single pitch last night. Who gave up all the damages?

The Awvee Storey Story

The Bucks sign Awvee Storey (who?) to help with interior defense and rebounding. Not only does he sound like the next coming of Stephen Hawking, he caved in a guy's mellon last year. Apparently, Awvee's a big Kermit Washington fan.

"The coaches said they needed defense and rebounding, and that was a light bulb to my head," Storey said. "I thought, 'This is what I do.'"

Storey was dismissed from the D-League last season after he punched teammate Martynas Andriuskevicius during a practice session with the Dakota Wizards. Andriuskevicius suffered a skull fracture and a concussion, but he declined to press charges against his teammate.

"Marti is a cool guy," Storey said.

Jolly Good

DT Johnny Jolly has been a beast in Packer camp. Article

Mini Horse Hater Goes Down

Willis reacts to the good news regarding his nemesis Joey Porter.

.

Mini horses everywhere are rejoicing today. No, not because the Brewers won a road game (they lost). But because it was reported today that noted miniature horse hater Joey Porter is going to miss the preseason after undergoing knee surgery. That's called karma, Joey.

Badger Props

CollegeFootballNews.com now has top 25 preseason rankings at each individual position. Badgers that made the lists and their rank:

PJ Hill, RB - 4th

Travis Beckum, TE - 3rd

Kraig Urbik, G - 9th

Marcus Coleman, C - 12th

Nick Hayden, DT - 22nd

Jack Ikegwuonu, CB - 2nd

Ken DeBauche, P - 5th

Taylor Mehlhalff, K - 8th

Notes: Beckum was 3rd behind TWO TEs from Missu?? Two tight ends, first and second in the nation from Missouri?? LB Jonathan Casillas got screwed, didn't make the list. That guy's an animal. They say Ike and Allen Langford make for the best CB combo in the country.

Mench Talking Smack

Head Mench running a little smack at Josh Fogg. The same Josh Fogg that just stymied the Brewers by scattering 6 hits in 7 innings at Colorado.

"He's one of those guys that for some reason does well against us," Mench said. "I don't know why. He doesn't do anything special."

Rickie's a Singles Machine

Rickie is really swinging a hot bat down at Nashville - 5 for 11 so far.

Of course, 4 of those hits are singles (1 double) and he hasn't driven in a run yet. Baby steps.

Alfonso is Broken

The Cubs lost Alfonso Soriano last night for 2-4 weeks with a strained quad.

That's a big blow. That would be like the Brewers losing....Corey Hart?

2007 Stats (Note that Hart has approximately 100 less at bats):

Soriano: .296 BA, 18 HR, 42 RBI, 18 SB, .511 Slugging, .336 OBP, 95 K's

Hart: .277 BA, 18 HR, 48 RBI, 17 SB, .512 Slugging, .347 OBP, 67 K's

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

An interview with Johnny Lawrence from Karate Kid. He actually seems like a pretty cool guy. Link

Sweep the Phillies!

It has been way too long.

That Thing Burns 17 Gallons of Gas Just Starting it...

This is a picture of Raven's DB Chris McAlister and his truck. Holy shit. McAlister stands 6'-1", for reference. Unless he works for an excavating company in the off season, I have no idea why an NFL player needs a truck this big. Then again, maybe I do have some ideas...

• If he gets a DUI and passes out while driving, he can just run over anything in site and walk away without a scratch
• Instead of hanging out at strip clubs, he could tow one back to his house
• He needs this to carry Brian Billick's ego to practice every day
• Tony Siragusa is still a big Ravens fan...he needs transport to the games somehow
• Tank Johnson needs a wingman for all his ammo
• Chris McAlister: Not a big Toyota Prius fan
• This is the actual moving truck Art Modell used while stealing the Browns from Cleveland.

Photo courtesy of Deadspin

Corey Hart, Former Cobra Kai?

Corey Hart, fresh off of balancing on a pier at the beach.

Melvin What do we study here?
Hart: THE WAY OF THE FIST SIR.

Melvin: And what is that way?

Hart: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.

Melvin: I can't hear you.

Hart STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.

Your First Place Milwaukee Brewers

"I am a retarded mini-horse"

The Cubs bullpen reverts to form and the Brewers are once again in first in the NL Central. Hopefully today will be a better experience than yesterday at the old ballpark. The terrible game along with our seating location along the 3rd base line in the sun made for a rough day.

The highlight of the day was one of the guys in our group suffering from heat exhaustion. As he was getting loaded on the little ambulance thing, I happened to walk by. Someone had to go down to the first aid place with him, so that ended up being me. The highlight of the first aid room was the drunk/sunburned 20 year old who looked in rough shape. When her very intoxicated friends walked in, they yelled out, "What's up bitch!" and flashed her. The girl immediately started crying.

Really, a great time in the Miller Park First Aid room.

Looking forward to a win and the start of building our lead back up tonight!

Hook 'Em?

Dennis Dodd of CBS Sportsline is reporting that one possibility for the rumored 12th team in the Big Ten conference could be.....Texas? Dodd claims that Texas isn't that satisfied with the Big 12 and the team would fit all of the criteria that the Big Ten would be looking for in its 12th team (Read: $$$$).

Well, that sure would be better than freaking Rutgers or Syracuse.

Yost: A Better Hunter Than Manager

"Hey Ponch, you better settle down or this could be you!"