Oh yes Ladies and Gentlemen, Jorge "3 and 2/3 innings pitched" de la Rosa will be back in Milwaukee (career ERA at Miller Park of 8.47!!!) and pitching against the Crew for the Rockies on Wednesday.
Call your bookie. Take the over on Wednesday. Doesn't matter what the line is. The Brewers will have him bounced by the 4th after he'll finish with 9 earned.
In other news, Chuckie Hacks has learned from Brewers personnel that the following two things will be placed behind the pitching mound when the Rockies are in the field Wednesday to accommodate Jorge:
A bucket: For which before the start of each inning Jorge will vomit profusely into, to calm his nerves.
A fresh towel: Will be replaced each inning for him...to be used in between pitches to wipe down the sweat that will no doubt be dripping from every pore on his body.
I'm going tonight, but won't be there tomorrow. If any Hackers go there and are within heckling distance, please give it Jorge. I loathe him.
Showing posts with label Former Sucky Brewers That Make More Money Than Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Former Sucky Brewers That Make More Money Than Me. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Fun with Numbers on a Friday
Pop Quiz for all the loyal CH readers:
The subject is Mr. Chad Fox. Former Brewer reliever and standard MLB journeyman. Guy is/was hurt constantly.
How much cash do you think over the course of his career he made per inning?
No cheating. The numbers are pulled from his baseball reference page. I find it somewhat laughable if you think about in the grand scheme of things.
The subject is Mr. Chad Fox. Former Brewer reliever and standard MLB journeyman. Guy is/was hurt constantly.
How much cash do you think over the course of his career he made per inning?
No cheating. The numbers are pulled from his baseball reference page. I find it somewhat laughable if you think about in the grand scheme of things.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Really?
Somebody still thinks its a good idea to give Eric Gagne money to play baseball.
Gagne Signs With Cam-Am Team
Hat tip to Cobra.
Gagne Signs With Cam-Am Team
Hat tip to Cobra.
You know you're a Billups when...
...Tomo Ohka replaces you on a major league roster!
Poor Action Jackson. He's looking more and more like he can only top out at Triple A. Small sample of innings this year, but he got shelled yet again. 14 hits over 8 innings of work isn't going to get it done.
For the record, I still like the CC Sabathia trade...
Hat Tip to Two Name again for the update.
Poor Action Jackson. He's looking more and more like he can only top out at Triple A. Small sample of innings this year, but he got shelled yet again. 14 hits over 8 innings of work isn't going to get it done.
For the record, I still like the CC Sabathia trade...
Hat Tip to Two Name again for the update.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Quite possibly my favorite K Bye of all time...
K bye Brad Nelson!
The internet was blowing up tonight with reports trickling out that Mr. Mat Gamel was on his way to Milwaukee. Rumors were rampant if a trade was in the works, blah blah.
Scratch all that garbage. Gamel can hit...and he's up here to stay. Welcome to the show Kid. Oh yeah...I'm 26 now. I can call people kids.
Anyway, the Brewers have been playing so well lately the complete non-productivity of the bench (C3 excluded) has been somewhat overlooked. Yeah we've (I've) had a lot of fun teasing Brad "DFA" Nelson and to a lesser extent Chris Duffy...but how bad has it actually been?
Oh I'll tell you!
Brad Nelson - 0 for 21
Chris Duffy - 3 for 28
Casey McGehee - 3 for 15
Ummm...sure...small sample size...but hey...that's 6 for 64! between the 3 guys! That's .094 combined! Dryhump me!
Good to see some accountability. That's all I got to say.
All those nice stories about Brad Nelson during the spring seem like years ago. I'm not a gambling man (ha!), but I would feel pretty confident he'll never see time again for any team in the show barring injury or a September callup. This isn't personal. I'm sure Nelson's a nice guy and all that. But God, watching him at the plate was just BRUTAL.
K bye Brad. Good luck in all future endeavors.
The internet was blowing up tonight with reports trickling out that Mr. Mat Gamel was on his way to Milwaukee. Rumors were rampant if a trade was in the works, blah blah.
Scratch all that garbage. Gamel can hit...and he's up here to stay. Welcome to the show Kid. Oh yeah...I'm 26 now. I can call people kids.
Anyway, the Brewers have been playing so well lately the complete non-productivity of the bench (C3 excluded) has been somewhat overlooked. Yeah we've (I've) had a lot of fun teasing Brad "DFA" Nelson and to a lesser extent Chris Duffy...but how bad has it actually been?
Oh I'll tell you!
Brad Nelson - 0 for 21
Chris Duffy - 3 for 28
Casey McGehee - 3 for 15
Ummm...sure...small sample size...but hey...that's 6 for 64! between the 3 guys! That's .094 combined! Dryhump me!
Good to see some accountability. That's all I got to say.
All those nice stories about Brad Nelson during the spring seem like years ago. I'm not a gambling man (ha!), but I would feel pretty confident he'll never see time again for any team in the show barring injury or a September callup. This isn't personal. I'm sure Nelson's a nice guy and all that. But God, watching him at the plate was just BRUTAL.
K bye Brad. Good luck in all future endeavors.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Scotty Po?
An interesting tidbit from MLBTradeRumors.com
"...the Rockies will release Scott Podsednik. The Brewers have shown interest in bringing him back to Milwaukee."
Brewers management would do this for one reason only - to keep Braun's ego in check. Him crushing both National League pitching and National League tail has his head unable to fit through the clubhouse doors. Pods can walk into the scene, show off his trophy wife (Not Safe For Work), and say: "Yo, Ryan...take a look (while grabbing her backside) at this. You're not as good as you think, rookie."
Braun would have no choice but to concede and act a little more modest for at least 35 seconds.
"...the Rockies will release Scott Podsednik. The Brewers have shown interest in bringing him back to Milwaukee."
Brewers management would do this for one reason only - to keep Braun's ego in check. Him crushing both National League pitching and National League tail has his head unable to fit through the clubhouse doors. Pods can walk into the scene, show off his trophy wife (Not Safe For Work), and say: "Yo, Ryan...take a look (while grabbing her backside) at this. You're not as good as you think, rookie."
Braun would have no choice but to concede and act a little more modest for at least 35 seconds.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Lenny Harris - Speeding Past Tomah...
There's been a rare cougar sighting near Spooner. Lenny Harris has the peddle down, traveling to Washburn County as fast as possible...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Jerry Royster Lives!
(Thanks to the unnamed sender of this article to the Hacks inbox.)
Not only is Jerry alive, he's a baseball God in Korea managing something called the Lotte Giants. It's a gem of an article describing the popularity of baseball/Royster in Korea.
"Lotte Giants fans are Yankees, Red Sox the Cubs fans all in one," Royster said. "They're more passionate than any major league team could ever dream of."
In this league, umpires apologize for unpopular calls. Some change their minds as a gesture of politeness.
Lou Pinella might be undefeated in Korea. And it doesn't take much to motivate players over there:
"Our players had gotten so used to being lousy, many had given up," team spokesman Kim Geon-tae said. "He told them 'You're a professional ballplayer.' He won the hearts of players and fans."
About 20,000 once showed up, not for a game, but to watch him tape a commercial in which he spoke Korean.
On opening day, four hours before the first pitch, Royster said he stared slack-jawed at a 30,000-seat stadium that was filled to capacity.
"It's like a mosh pit," Jung said. "Picture a rock star going through a crowd. It's the same thing. People are clawing at him, giving him high-fives and pats on the back. Sometimes he can't get through and we have to sneak out a back door."
Jerry Royster - Rockstar? WTF?? Sure, he may be popular in Korea, but who can forget his 53-94 stint managing the Crew?
Not only is Jerry alive, he's a baseball God in Korea managing something called the Lotte Giants. It's a gem of an article describing the popularity of baseball/Royster in Korea.
"Lotte Giants fans are Yankees, Red Sox the Cubs fans all in one," Royster said. "They're more passionate than any major league team could ever dream of."
In this league, umpires apologize for unpopular calls. Some change their minds as a gesture of politeness.
Lou Pinella might be undefeated in Korea. And it doesn't take much to motivate players over there:
"Our players had gotten so used to being lousy, many had given up," team spokesman Kim Geon-tae said. "He told them 'You're a professional ballplayer.' He won the hearts of players and fans."
About 20,000 once showed up, not for a game, but to watch him tape a commercial in which he spoke Korean.
On opening day, four hours before the first pitch, Royster said he stared slack-jawed at a 30,000-seat stadium that was filled to capacity.
"It's like a mosh pit," Jung said. "Picture a rock star going through a crowd. It's the same thing. People are clawing at him, giving him high-fives and pats on the back. Sometimes he can't get through and we have to sneak out a back door."
Jerry Royster - Rockstar? WTF?? Sure, he may be popular in Korea, but who can forget his 53-94 stint managing the Crew?
Hee Seop Choi could not be reached for comment.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A Chuckie Hacks congratulations!
Former Brewer legend (and when I say "legend" I mean "quite possibly the worst player to wear a Brewer jersey in the last decade") Chris Barnwell has been named to the provisional roster of TEAM CANADA in the upcoming World Baseball Classic.
The linked article says that Barnwell is a member of the Astros currently. Good for him. Looks like he signed a couple days ago.
You may all remember Mr. Barnwell as the donkey-licious tool who somehow maneuvered his way into the Show for the Crew in 2006. He played 13 games, fired off 2 singles in 30 at bats, and was probably scared to talk to Prince Fielder. God did he suck.
But hey, he's got 2 more MLB hits then I'll ever have...so congratulations Chris! Represent Canada with pride!
Big hat tip to Not So Anonymous Jake for the tip.
The linked article says that Barnwell is a member of the Astros currently. Good for him. Looks like he signed a couple days ago.
You may all remember Mr. Barnwell as the donkey-licious tool who somehow maneuvered his way into the Show for the Crew in 2006. He played 13 games, fired off 2 singles in 30 at bats, and was probably scared to talk to Prince Fielder. God did he suck.
But hey, he's got 2 more MLB hits then I'll ever have...so congratulations Chris! Represent Canada with pride!
Big hat tip to Not So Anonymous Jake for the tip.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I just realized something...
...and I almost laughed out loud.
So I'm cruising around a few sites (yes, hard a work) looking at stats and what not...and you know who's stats I see:
This freaking guy.
Oh man...I seriously forgot that Julian "Freddy Krueger" Tavarez pitched in 7 games this year for the Brewers.
Ahhh...Julian Tavarez...former Brewer.
HA!
So I'm cruising around a few sites (yes, hard a work) looking at stats and what not...and you know who's stats I see:
This freaking guy.
Oh man...I seriously forgot that Julian "Freddy Krueger" Tavarez pitched in 7 games this year for the Brewers.
Ahhh...Julian Tavarez...former Brewer.
HA!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Moosed
Anybody see Fatt Stairs absolutely destroy the baseball last night? Tie game, 8th inning. Jon Broxton serves a 95 MPH fastball straight down main street and Stairs just moosed it into the RF bleachers - about 7 rows from leaving Dodger Stadium. Crushed, moosed, tattooed, hammered, Whammy!!...whatever you want to say, it was awesome.
How weird is it watching Matt Stairs, Geoff Jenkins, Gabe Gross, and Grant Balfour still playing meaningful baseball games'?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Something I found amusing...
Some of you perhaps have heard this before...but it was new to me...and I found it humorous...so here we go.
I'm reading Chuck Klosterman IV, which is another collection of various articles and essays he has written over the years.
In one such essay, he goes into great detail about how everybody should have a nemesis & an archenemy. It's discussed how they intertwine and gives definitions and examples. Here's the article in it's entirety...which I recommend.
Now...the part that I found amusing, enough so to basically laugh out loud as I was reading over lunch...is the part where he describes his own archenemy.
Meanwhile, I've had the same archenemy since eighth grade: He's a guy named Rick Helling, and he grew up in Lakota, North Dakota. Last year, Helling pitched a few innings for the Marlins in the World Series; in 1998, he won twenty games for the Rangers. I went to basketball camp with Rick Helling in 1985, and he was the single worst person I'd ever met. Every summer, I constantly scan the sports section of USA Today , always hoping that he got shelled. This is what drives me. I cannot live in a world where Helling's career ERA hovers below 5.00, yet all I do for a living is type . As long as Rick Helling walks this earth, I shall never sleep soundly.
Yes...Rick Helling. The guy who ended his playing career with two "meh" years as a Brewer. Rick Helling is Chuck Klosterman's archenemy. For some reason, I find this awesome.
I'm reading Chuck Klosterman IV, which is another collection of various articles and essays he has written over the years.
In one such essay, he goes into great detail about how everybody should have a nemesis & an archenemy. It's discussed how they intertwine and gives definitions and examples. Here's the article in it's entirety...which I recommend.
Now...the part that I found amusing, enough so to basically laugh out loud as I was reading over lunch...is the part where he describes his own archenemy.
Meanwhile, I've had the same archenemy since eighth grade: He's a guy named Rick Helling, and he grew up in Lakota, North Dakota. Last year, Helling pitched a few innings for the Marlins in the World Series; in 1998, he won twenty games for the Rangers. I went to basketball camp with Rick Helling in 1985, and he was the single worst person I'd ever met. Every summer, I constantly scan the sports section of USA Today , always hoping that he got shelled. This is what drives me. I cannot live in a world where Helling's career ERA hovers below 5.00, yet all I do for a living is type . As long as Rick Helling walks this earth, I shall never sleep soundly.
Yes...Rick Helling. The guy who ended his playing career with two "meh" years as a Brewer. Rick Helling is Chuck Klosterman's archenemy. For some reason, I find this awesome.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
2 things need to happen...
1. Guillermo Mota needs to be DFA'd. Today. Right now. I've had enough. The man has completely blown up. I don't know the reasons...and quite frankly I don't care. Take a look at his splits from the last month or so. Dear God! You CAN'T let this guy pitch anymore! Bring back DiFelice or Dillard.
You know what this reminds me of? The Ricky "Gopherball" Bottalico gas can performance half way through 2005. Ricky was chugging along, 3rd or 4th guy out of the pen, nothing fancy, then he just blew up. Done. Every other game he'd let up 3 runs in .2 innings or something.
It all comes down to reliability. Mota (like Bottalico) could no longer be relied upon to contribute anything on the mound. He serves no purpose coming out of the bullpen anymore (save garbage time). Shake his hand, give him a case of Miller Lite, and hand him a plane ticket back to the Dominican.
2. The Brewers need to freaking own Jorge de la Rosa today. He sucks. Screw karma or whatever. He is an absolutely putrid baseball pitcher. He admitted being absolutely terrified with nerves while he was on the mound. The man (and I use the word "man" loosely) has started 51 games in his MLB career and his ERA is just below 6. Come on guys. Sit dead red on one of his 86 mph cockshots and knock him out by the 3rd inning.
That is all.
You know what this reminds me of? The Ricky "Gopherball" Bottalico gas can performance half way through 2005. Ricky was chugging along, 3rd or 4th guy out of the pen, nothing fancy, then he just blew up. Done. Every other game he'd let up 3 runs in .2 innings or something.
It all comes down to reliability. Mota (like Bottalico) could no longer be relied upon to contribute anything on the mound. He serves no purpose coming out of the bullpen anymore (save garbage time). Shake his hand, give him a case of Miller Lite, and hand him a plane ticket back to the Dominican.
2. The Brewers need to freaking own Jorge de la Rosa today. He sucks. Screw karma or whatever. He is an absolutely putrid baseball pitcher. He admitted being absolutely terrified with nerves while he was on the mound. The man (and I use the word "man" loosely) has started 51 games in his MLB career and his ERA is just below 6. Come on guys. Sit dead red on one of his 86 mph cockshots and knock him out by the 3rd inning.
That is all.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
LOL! LMAO! OMG! HA!
Tee Hee.
Glendon Rusch is pitching tonight for the Rockies. Somehow this man still collects a paycheck.
Seriously, as far as I'm concerned, he's the left-handed Jeff Juden.
But yet again, scroll down to the bottom of his stats page and look at his career earnings...feel free to let out a sigh after you see the figure (almost $14,000,000).
dmklfmdlmfdlfdsmfdsfklsdfksdhghsdofsdjfsdghadgjsdlfjdslhklsdsd.
Glendon Rusch is pitching tonight for the Rockies. Somehow this man still collects a paycheck.
Seriously, as far as I'm concerned, he's the left-handed Jeff Juden.
But yet again, scroll down to the bottom of his stats page and look at his career earnings...feel free to let out a sigh after you see the figure (almost $14,000,000).
dmklfmdlmfdlfdsmfdsfklsdfksdhghsdofsdjfsdghadgjsdlfjdslhklsdsd.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Whoa whoa wait a minute...
..read the last sentence of this long article.
It mentions a "new and improved" Grant Ball-Four.
I thought that it had to be a mistake. But oh no...he's owning people so far this year on the Rays.
He's only 16 innings in this year...let's see him hold up this ridiculous pace.
It mentions a "new and improved" Grant Ball-Four.
I thought that it had to be a mistake. But oh no...he's owning people so far this year on the Rays.
He's only 16 innings in this year...let's see him hold up this ridiculous pace.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Former Brewers Update
In a mild upset, I just discovered that Mike Adams is back in the majors. For the Padres.
Yes, that Mike Adams.
And good lord, check out what the Brewers thought were their options at closer in February of 2005 (at least according to that story): Mike Adams, Ricky Bottalico, Justin Lehr.
Yes, that Mike Adams.
And good lord, check out what the Brewers thought were their options at closer in February of 2005 (at least according to that story): Mike Adams, Ricky Bottalico, Justin Lehr.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Former Brewers Update
From a previous post, Matty Wise was asking for updates on former Brewers:
- Claudio Vargas pitched pretty well for the Mets last night in his season debut. Picked up the loss, but went 6 and 1/3 with 3 hits, 3 earned, 4 walks and 6 Ks. Aaron Heilman Old Style got banged around, preventing the win for Claud.
- CoCo Cordero - Not so good last night. First blown save of the year. Gave up 2 runs in the 9th, but the Reds pulled it out in the 10th. Those pesky Marlins actually came into the 9th down 6-0, but put on the rally caps and sent it into extras. CoCo is now 7-8 in save chances with a 2.60 ERA and a 1.33 WHIP.
- Big, fat Dana Eveland continues to impress with a 3.23 ERA and 1.25 WHIP. He's 3-3 on the year.
- Jackass Estrada batting a robust .179 (.220 OBP) with 3 Ribbies in 39 ABs with the Nats. Believe it or not, he's actually thrown out 4 of 13 base stealers.
- Claudio Vargas pitched pretty well for the Mets last night in his season debut. Picked up the loss, but went 6 and 1/3 with 3 hits, 3 earned, 4 walks and 6 Ks. Aaron Heilman Old Style got banged around, preventing the win for Claud.
- CoCo Cordero - Not so good last night. First blown save of the year. Gave up 2 runs in the 9th, but the Reds pulled it out in the 10th. Those pesky Marlins actually came into the 9th down 6-0, but put on the rally caps and sent it into extras. CoCo is now 7-8 in save chances with a 2.60 ERA and a 1.33 WHIP.
- Big, fat Dana Eveland continues to impress with a 3.23 ERA and 1.25 WHIP. He's 3-3 on the year.
- Jackass Estrada batting a robust .179 (.220 OBP) with 3 Ribbies in 39 ABs with the Nats. Believe it or not, he's actually thrown out 4 of 13 base stealers.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
No effing way!
Another former Brewer update.
Take a look at the starting lineup for the New York Yankees for today's game.
Things must be getting rough in Yankee-land. I find it unfathomable that Chad freaking Moeller is playing in a baseball game as a New York Yankee. Apparently he's been there all year.
What's next? Chris Magruder starting in LF for the Red Sox?
Take a look at the starting lineup for the New York Yankees for today's game.
Things must be getting rough in Yankee-land. I find it unfathomable that Chad freaking Moeller is playing in a baseball game as a New York Yankee. Apparently he's been there all year.
What's next? Chris Magruder starting in LF for the Red Sox?
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