Off the field, at least. What's next but an SI swimsuit model! Her name is Julie Henderson, and she's a grapefruit heiress (insert melons joke here) and smokin hot. Take a look.
Just like Aaron's 2008 season, there's an problem. This situation (Julie) looks spectacular on the surface (2008 stats) - but there's an issue (final drives). Mrs Henderson was previously hooking up with....Russell Simmons?!? I know, I know...he's a heavy hitter with more money than God, but....I mean....just...click on this. Rodgers is rolling with the girl who was just banging a 51 year old, 5'8" (she's 5'-10"), African-American? Going from Simmons to Rodgers is just way too extreme for any normal person. It's like the driver of Big Foot driving a Toyota Prius in his spare time. She has to be crazy. Batshit crazy. Still hot, but crazy.
Showing posts with label Crazy People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crazy People. Show all posts
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Packers Hire Kevin Greene And His Hair
New Packers OLB coach? Kevin Greene. Or is it player/coach, I'm not sure. "Hey Poppinga, you suck! Gimme that helmet, I'm going in..."
Monday, January 5, 2009
Insert Board Game Joke Here
Cubs fans in the bleachers are expected to be on high alert and on the lookout for flying plastic bottles next season, and announcers from opposing teams in the NL should expect a personal visit if they say anything mean about the Cubs new rightfielder, because Milton Bradley is a Cub.
The relationship between Milton and Lou is probably one of those weird marriages that looks horrible on paper but will end up working. He better not try to take Ted Lilly out of a game, though - that dude will swing at you.
The relationship between Milton and Lou is probably one of those weird marriages that looks horrible on paper but will end up working. He better not try to take Ted Lilly out of a game, though - that dude will swing at you.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Take THAT Ocho Cinco!
"Over The Top thinks this movie sucked."
You couldn't make this up if you tried.
Bucs DE Greg White has officially changed his name to Stylez G. White.
A Hillsborough County Circuit Court OK'd the name change on Monday. White says he got the idea from Teen Wolf, the Michael J. Fox 1985 movie. White, the Bucs' primary nickel rusher, has five sacks and 28 tackles on the year.
Seriously, his name is now Stylez G White.
Thanks to AP for the tip.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Book Report - Part II
Cliff Note highlights Part II of Boys Will Be Boys by Jeff Pearlman. Part I
Charles Haley is legitimately crazy. No, really, he's crazy. Some days he took his meds, most days he didn’t. Let's just say he really, really likes his Johnson. In San Francisco, he'd drop his pants, stick it in Montana's or Rice's face and say "Come on...suck it! You know you want to." Also in San Fran, he go into an argument with Tim Harris (yes, that Tim Harris), ran outside, cut a hole in Harris' convertible Porsche's roof, and pissed all over the inside. The final straw with the 49ers was when a position coach told him to shut up during a meeting. Haley left, came back and threw a toilet paper wad full of shit at the guy! No joke! NOBODY wanted Haley. The Cowboys got him for a roll of athletic tape. In Dallas, he would often pleasure himself during team meetings to the point of...well...you know. My favorite might have taken place at a Randy White restaurant. White had a custom Harley Davidson inside the place as a showpiece. Haley fired that thing up and started driving around - INSIDE the eatery. Randy White - a former bad ass DE for the Cowboys in the 70s - grabbed Haley and punched him out cold.
The random acts of sex, drugs, and strip clubs are pretty much indescribable.
Alvin Harper was so obnoxious, he was actually banned from the teams favorite strip club. Understand, the Cowboys basically ruled Dallas...they ran the town (even balding kicker Lin Elliott pulled serious, serious tail). So to get banned from anywhere, let alone a titty joint, was almost impossible. Oh, and the DBs held positional meetings at this place. Seriously, actual position meetings were held at strip clubs.
The downfall started with Jimmy Johnson leaving. Jerry Jones thought anybody could coach this team to a title (Barry Switzer actually proved this...he was a college wishbone coach for God's sake), and thought the draft was easy, so he took over. Yes, Jerry Jones took over the Cowboys drafts - with disastrous results. Darrin Woodson would show up at training camp and just laugh at all the no-talents Jones drafted.
Not only that, Jones had zero idea how to run a salary cap. One year, when the cap was at $40 million, he only had 35 players signed - at a price of $39 million! They were screwed.
Of course, that didn't stop him from signing Deon Sanders, who was the dysfunctional dollop on this bizarre banana split. He would show up at meetings with a pillow and a blanket and say "Just give me a guy to cover, and you'all figure out that zone or cover-2 or whatever you want to run." Then he'd fall asleep. Deon, not Switzer, made the practice schedule. Yup, Prime would see an 7:30 practice time, call Jerry and say "No, 7:30 won't work for me. How about 9:00?" Sure shit. Jerry would phone Switzer, and the next days practice would start at 9:00. Deon's lack of tackling was almost as legendary as his coverage skills. During one film study, the entire defense was laughing at Deon as he just fell down as a RB was charging towards him. He responded (in all seriousness) with: "The guy was coming at me, and I had to make a business decision." Awesome!
Not only was Switzer a clueless coach and didn't hold anybody accountable, he (and Jerry Jones) partied almost as hard as the players. He often came to 10 AM practices smelling like Jack Daniels and blood shot eyes. At this point, the inmates were running the asylum with a coach who couldn't do anything about it - he was one of them.
Good Times
Charles Haley is legitimately crazy. No, really, he's crazy. Some days he took his meds, most days he didn’t. Let's just say he really, really likes his Johnson. In San Francisco, he'd drop his pants, stick it in Montana's or Rice's face and say "Come on...suck it! You know you want to." Also in San Fran, he go into an argument with Tim Harris (yes, that Tim Harris), ran outside, cut a hole in Harris' convertible Porsche's roof, and pissed all over the inside. The final straw with the 49ers was when a position coach told him to shut up during a meeting. Haley left, came back and threw a toilet paper wad full of shit at the guy! No joke! NOBODY wanted Haley. The Cowboys got him for a roll of athletic tape. In Dallas, he would often pleasure himself during team meetings to the point of...well...you know. My favorite might have taken place at a Randy White restaurant. White had a custom Harley Davidson inside the place as a showpiece. Haley fired that thing up and started driving around - INSIDE the eatery. Randy White - a former bad ass DE for the Cowboys in the 70s - grabbed Haley and punched him out cold.
The random acts of sex, drugs, and strip clubs are pretty much indescribable.
Alvin Harper was so obnoxious, he was actually banned from the teams favorite strip club. Understand, the Cowboys basically ruled Dallas...they ran the town (even balding kicker Lin Elliott pulled serious, serious tail). So to get banned from anywhere, let alone a titty joint, was almost impossible. Oh, and the DBs held positional meetings at this place. Seriously, actual position meetings were held at strip clubs.
The downfall started with Jimmy Johnson leaving. Jerry Jones thought anybody could coach this team to a title (Barry Switzer actually proved this...he was a college wishbone coach for God's sake), and thought the draft was easy, so he took over. Yes, Jerry Jones took over the Cowboys drafts - with disastrous results. Darrin Woodson would show up at training camp and just laugh at all the no-talents Jones drafted.
Not only that, Jones had zero idea how to run a salary cap. One year, when the cap was at $40 million, he only had 35 players signed - at a price of $39 million! They were screwed.
Of course, that didn't stop him from signing Deon Sanders, who was the dysfunctional dollop on this bizarre banana split. He would show up at meetings with a pillow and a blanket and say "Just give me a guy to cover, and you'all figure out that zone or cover-2 or whatever you want to run." Then he'd fall asleep. Deon, not Switzer, made the practice schedule. Yup, Prime would see an 7:30 practice time, call Jerry and say "No, 7:30 won't work for me. How about 9:00?" Sure shit. Jerry would phone Switzer, and the next days practice would start at 9:00. Deon's lack of tackling was almost as legendary as his coverage skills. During one film study, the entire defense was laughing at Deon as he just fell down as a RB was charging towards him. He responded (in all seriousness) with: "The guy was coming at me, and I had to make a business decision." Awesome!
Not only was Switzer a clueless coach and didn't hold anybody accountable, he (and Jerry Jones) partied almost as hard as the players. He often came to 10 AM practices smelling like Jack Daniels and blood shot eyes. At this point, the inmates were running the asylum with a coach who couldn't do anything about it - he was one of them.
Good Times
Friday, November 14, 2008
Book Report - Part I
Checked out the aforementioned Jeff Pearlman book "Boys Will Be Boys" from the library (you know, that big building with all the books in it) last night. Only 100 pages in, but has provided plenty of highlights:
How did Jerry Jones end up buying the Cowboys? He was the only owner willing to meet the previous owner's main concession: Fire Tom Landry.
Jimmy Johnson was pretty much the only person in the country who liked the Hersheal Walker trade. Everybody thought it was crazy - he was the only good player they had. The 5 players they got in return were all assigned a draft pick. If the Cowboys kept any of these 5 players (all quality/decent veterans), the assigned draft pick went back to Minnesota. JJ said "F it" and cut every one. The clueless Vikings GM shit his pants.
Talk about trading down - Johnson then turned these picks into 19 more! This was back when the NFL had like 12 rounds, but still.
JJ was both a good and bad talent evaluator. He drafted numerous very good players from tiny collegiate outposts: Leon Lett (Emporia St), Larry Allen (Sonoma St), Erik Williams (Central St), Tony Tolbert (UTEP), among other. At the same time...
....Jimmy Johnson liked Steve Walsh better than Troy Aikman. How weird is this: After drafting Aikman #1 overall, a few months later JJ drafted Walsh in the supplemental draft - burning next years first rounder. He thought Troy was robotic, couldn't move or improvise - supposedly the opposite of Walsh, his college QB while coaching Miami. Johnson was totally on an island with his love of Walsh. Also, many (including Jimmy) wanted to trade Michael Irvin. His rookie year was pedestrian, tore his ACL in year two, and many thought he was too slow to be a, well, playmaker. The Cowboys dangled Irvin to every team in the league.
Irvin stabbed a teammate in the neck with a scissors. Good times.
Ah, yes - Boys Will Be Boys. It's a great read...and I haven't gotten to the parts about sex, drugs, booze and Charles Haley's dong.
How did Jerry Jones end up buying the Cowboys? He was the only owner willing to meet the previous owner's main concession: Fire Tom Landry.
Jimmy Johnson was pretty much the only person in the country who liked the Hersheal Walker trade. Everybody thought it was crazy - he was the only good player they had. The 5 players they got in return were all assigned a draft pick. If the Cowboys kept any of these 5 players (all quality/decent veterans), the assigned draft pick went back to Minnesota. JJ said "F it" and cut every one. The clueless Vikings GM shit his pants.
Talk about trading down - Johnson then turned these picks into 19 more! This was back when the NFL had like 12 rounds, but still.
JJ was both a good and bad talent evaluator. He drafted numerous very good players from tiny collegiate outposts: Leon Lett (Emporia St), Larry Allen (Sonoma St), Erik Williams (Central St), Tony Tolbert (UTEP), among other. At the same time...
....Jimmy Johnson liked Steve Walsh better than Troy Aikman. How weird is this: After drafting Aikman #1 overall, a few months later JJ drafted Walsh in the supplemental draft - burning next years first rounder. He thought Troy was robotic, couldn't move or improvise - supposedly the opposite of Walsh, his college QB while coaching Miami. Johnson was totally on an island with his love of Walsh. Also, many (including Jimmy) wanted to trade Michael Irvin. His rookie year was pedestrian, tore his ACL in year two, and many thought he was too slow to be a, well, playmaker. The Cowboys dangled Irvin to every team in the league.
Irvin stabbed a teammate in the neck with a scissors. Good times.
Ah, yes - Boys Will Be Boys. It's a great read...and I haven't gotten to the parts about sex, drugs, booze and Charles Haley's dong.
Monday, September 15, 2008
This Is, Ummm....
....Disturbing? Funny? Unbelievable? All of the above? Can't wait for the entire book to come out.
Chuck Haley Is Unstable
Thanks to Larry Wayne for this, I think.
Chuck Haley Is Unstable
Thanks to Larry Wayne for this, I think.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
If There Really Are Football Gods....
...they must make this happen. AWESOME!
We’ve learned that Johnson has taken the first steps in the state of Florida toward legally changing his last name to Ocho Cinco.
Seriously.
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