If anybody was wondering if Michael Jackson was picked in my celebrity death pool...here's the update: I picked him in the 4th round. I'm like the Jack Z. of Death Drafts, I know where to find the best sleepers.
Related to that, here's a true story of an event that happened to me last night. No exaggeration. I'm pulling through the Taco Bell drive through after work when the following exchange happens between me and the girl working the window (not attractive by any reasonable measure):
Girl - "That'll be $7.45...HEY! Oh my God did you hear Michael Jackson died?
Me - "Oh yeah...he's out. It's all over the internet and radio."
Girl - "Wait...I heard it could only be a heart attack and he might be alive!"
Me - "He's gone. Deal with it."
Girl - "It's just crazy...you know?!"
Me - "You know what else is crazy? I picked him in the 4th round of my celebrity death pool. I get a point for that."
Girl - "Ummm...that's kind of weird."
Me - "You know what else is weird? Starting a conversation with a customer in the drive thru lane at Taco Bell about Michael Jackson's death."
And finally, on a Chuckie Hacks personal note...I'll basically be ending my run of posting here on the old site. Job promotion and studies for the CPA exam will do that to a blogger. It's been a good run and I can retire knowing I'm the 2nd best Brewer blogger in the business (nobody tops KLSnow...even I'll admit that). I'll still comment from time to time and maybe throw up a post if I get real worked up about something...but that's basically it. I hope if I left a lasting mark on anyone its that the word "billups" has made it's way into their everyday vocabulary.
Showing posts with label billups. Show all posts
Showing posts with label billups. Show all posts
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
You know you're a Billups when...
...Tomo Ohka replaces you on a major league roster!
Poor Action Jackson. He's looking more and more like he can only top out at Triple A. Small sample of innings this year, but he got shelled yet again. 14 hits over 8 innings of work isn't going to get it done.
For the record, I still like the CC Sabathia trade...
Hat Tip to Two Name again for the update.
Poor Action Jackson. He's looking more and more like he can only top out at Triple A. Small sample of innings this year, but he got shelled yet again. 14 hits over 8 innings of work isn't going to get it done.
For the record, I still like the CC Sabathia trade...
Hat Tip to Two Name again for the update.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Road Trip - St. Louis
Caught all of the 2+ games in St. Louis this past weekend. Road Tripped it down with 9 total people in 3 cars. Got hotel rooms in a classy establishment about 5 blocks from the Stadium, roughly 3 blocks from the Arch. All at a reasonable cost. I'm not sure how it would have been possible to NOT have a good time. Here are the random moments from the trip:
One of the guys in the group (whose internet name is The Great One) is in the lead of the caravan on the way down in his car. He has the paper directions along with a GPS that TELLS YOU where to go. We are somewhere in Illinois (shudder). Naturally, the Great One misses a turn and all 3 cars lose a half hour. Billups point #1.
Some food is in order. My car has fallen behind by a few minutes as a result of the missed turn, thus we call ahead to see where the caravan has stopped. The Great One informs my vehicle that the rest of the crew is going to Culvers. 5 minutes later, we pull into Culvers. Nobody is there. They were all at KFC. Naturally...because you know...that's where they said they would be. Billups point #2.
Eventually we get into St. Louis and one of our rooms gets upgraded to a suite. With 3 hours to spare before the game, we decide a vicious 1 hour speed quarters game is in order. Here is a list of comments made by the Great One during this 1 hour period (Side Note: If you haven't figured it out yet, the Great One is a large, obnoxious, beast of a man who has no idea what an inside voice is. Everybody has "that guy" in their friend group.).
"I'm for sure bringing a chick back to the hotel tonight. I don't care if I get the swine flu. Seriously, it's big time overrated. I heard you don't even die from it."
"Did anybody do any research online about the asian massage parlors in the area? I might have to get deep."
"I'm finding the biggest black woman I can find and bringing her back to the room tonight. Woz you better be ready to go down the hall if I bring her back."
(While sitting down): "Wow...I don't think this chair can hold me for much longer. The over/under is 12 minutes before a severe break."
(The TV is on in the background with nobody paying attention, he jumps up randomly...points at the TV and screams): "F*cking die you Bitch!" Everybody is flabbergasted and confused. When he sits back down he calmly says: "That was Queen Elizabeth. I have her in the Celebrity Death Pool." Needless to say, that was my favorite quote of the trip.
We start walking to the stadium. The atmosphere is just great. Everybody is friendly. Nobody is saying anything bad about the Brewers or anything. Basically it is the opposite of being in Chicago.
We walk into the Stadium and I inform the rest of the guys to "go to the seats" as I head to use the facilities. Little did I know this was a mistake because it took me 15 minutes to get to the seats after that. In hindsight, I will say that the stadium is awesome, but highly confusing to get where you need to go. Maybe I'm just used to Miller Park, but there seemed to be a general lack of staircases and the ones I used seemed to always take me to the wrong level.
Eventually I get to my section, but before I do a couple of hot chicks stop me (nothing new). They ask me "what it's worth" for the Cardinals T-shirt around my neck (stadium giveaway). I respond with a "I'd like to have a good time tonight." They give me a disgusted look and walk away. I give myself a satisfying grin and walk to my seats.
Eventually the monsoon comes in. We start asking people how it's possible to build a stadium without a roof. Over the next 15 minutes this question is asked to any Cardinals fan within talking distance. People may have been annoyed. I'm not sure.
Eventually the game gets called off but as Goldy mentioned in a previous post I was "well on my way" and wasn't going to stop. It's about 11pm. Most of the guys in our party went back to the hotel to pass out. That's not how I roll on the first night. Myself, the Great One, and another dude hit up the "hot spot" in town apparently referred to as "The Landing." Our first stop is in a Brewery of some sort. In a very short period of time we have a group of females in our presence. While not realizing it, both of my companions tell me one of the chicks is VERY INTERESTED in being deflowered by Woziszeus. After talking with her for a little bit she informs me she:
A) Is a pharmacist
B) Grew up on a farm
C) Makes A LOT of money (she actually reiterated that numerous times)
D) Would become a Brewers fan if I got to "know her better."
Point D sealed her fate. It shouldn't take a little sweet talking from Woz to get one to like the Brewers. We left that bar soon after that. It might also have something to do with the fact that she wasn't that attractive and I was completely plowed at that point, but regardless.
I wasn't prepared for the next place. I have no idea of the name, but there was a live band covering Rage Against the Machine and chicks dressed like strippers dancing for your enjoyment on the bar. No exaggeration. I thought I had stepped into a strip joint for a second. These babes weren't messing around. If they had it, they shook it. I paid dearly for my satisfaction of my current state with numerous shots and tips.
Sometime after that, I stumbled back to the hotel with my other buddy while the Great One went to the Casino down the street and won $800. I ate an entire box of gushers and went to bed.
The rest of the weekend was spent attending the other two Brewer games while checking out more of the "traditional" things to do in St. Louis as evidenced by this photo:
Some additional good times were had though. Here they are in no particular order:
-I'm sitting in line early Sunday morning outside the stadium ticket office. There is a large sign that clearly states "Tickets" and a line of maybe a dozen people waiting to get to the windows. There is basically nothing else in the surrounding area. A woman comes up to me (again, I'm in the ticket line of a major league baseball stadium) and asks: "Why are people in line? What's this for?" I just stare at her for 5 seconds...then say very slowly..."T I C K E T S."
-On the "Kiss Cam" during Sunday's game, the last couple they showed were two middle-aged women with short haircuts. They had a long, passionate kiss and at the end stared into each other's eyes. I have nothing to say about this, the event just simply needs to be documented.
-I had a conversation with a Cardinals fan in front of me during the Sunday game about Looper and Suppan. He asked me how I liked Looper in a Brewer uniform and I told him something along the lines of "he's doing decent so far, it's nice having that kind of guy in the rotation, He's just like Suppan but we got him at a more reasonable cost...blah blah blah." The gentleman then states that Suppan is "way" better then Looper and that he didn't feel like Looper could "take it to teams" and "step it up a notch when it matters" like Suppan could. I kind of let the conversation lull after that. No point in arguing. I guess Soup is still somewhat of a demigod down there from his performance in 2006.
All in all, GREAT trip. Like I mentioned already, the Stadium is in a great location and designed very well with the St. Louis skyline right in the background. Everything (bars, restaurants, the river, the stadium, hotels) are within a mile of each other. And, I will say it one more time, the St. Louis fans were extremely friendly.
I know there is a budding fued going on between certain members of the St. Louis media and the young shirts-untucked Brewer Whippersnappers...but I saw none of that arrogant close-mindedness when I was down there. But hey, I guess there isn't much to make fun of if you're a Cardinals fan and you're up against a superior team like the Brew Crew.
Monday, April 20, 2009
8th grader says that Brewers stink...Doug Melvin agrees, decides to cancel rest of 2009 season
The boys over at RFB found a dandy of an article during their latest installment of the Brewers week in review.
Definitely a delicious little piece of internet journalism. Please check it out.
Here are some of the highlights:
I usually never admit that my team stinks, and I haven't said it about the Brewers since they really did stink, back in the early 2000's. But now I am left with no choice but to say it and not get my 2009 hopes up.
Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder have not been big boppers at the plate in '09. Those two are the key components to the offensive attack. Their ineffectiveness have been a big reason that the offense has been below average.
And then there is the disaster that has been Jeff Suppan. To be frank, "Soup" has been off, not on. He was supposed to be the No. 1 starter in the rotation for awhile, but has self-destructed by walking batters left and right.
I hate to say it, but the Milwaukee Brewers stink.
Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Season's over. Get rid of your 9 pack tickets for 40 cents on the dollar. Return your Ryan Braun jersey's to Kohl's if you can. Get ready for the Packers training camp. It's only 3 months away.
On first glance, I thought Brad had somehow sneaked away from CH and began posting over at that site, because the post was devastatingly similar to Brad's "The Brewers are done" post from May of last year, a post that needs to be brought up more often in my opinion.
But oh no...this blogger has an "about me" section. Check out the bio on this little turd:
Hey. My name is (as you can see) Curt Hogg. I'm in the 8th grade. Writing about sports is a hobby to me. I have written numerous stories about sports (mainly baseball). I decided to join Bleacher Report because it looked like a place that I could display and improve my sports writing skills, as that is my dream job.
Ahhh...the dreams of America's youth!
Now, I've never beaten up an 8th grader before (actually, I've never been in a fight...but regardless) but if anybody sees Mr. Curt Hogg at Miller Park this year please pick him up, take him to the nearest Port O John, and stuff him down the hole face first. This donkey needs a little lesson on the subject of "sample size."
I don't think an 8th grader has ever been named Billups of the Week, but Mr. Hogg just might be the first!
Definitely a delicious little piece of internet journalism. Please check it out.
Here are some of the highlights:
I usually never admit that my team stinks, and I haven't said it about the Brewers since they really did stink, back in the early 2000's. But now I am left with no choice but to say it and not get my 2009 hopes up.
Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder have not been big boppers at the plate in '09. Those two are the key components to the offensive attack. Their ineffectiveness have been a big reason that the offense has been below average.
And then there is the disaster that has been Jeff Suppan. To be frank, "Soup" has been off, not on. He was supposed to be the No. 1 starter in the rotation for awhile, but has self-destructed by walking batters left and right.
I hate to say it, but the Milwaukee Brewers stink.
Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Season's over. Get rid of your 9 pack tickets for 40 cents on the dollar. Return your Ryan Braun jersey's to Kohl's if you can. Get ready for the Packers training camp. It's only 3 months away.
On first glance, I thought Brad had somehow sneaked away from CH and began posting over at that site, because the post was devastatingly similar to Brad's "The Brewers are done" post from May of last year, a post that needs to be brought up more often in my opinion.
But oh no...this blogger has an "about me" section. Check out the bio on this little turd:
Hey. My name is (as you can see) Curt Hogg. I'm in the 8th grade. Writing about sports is a hobby to me. I have written numerous stories about sports (mainly baseball). I decided to join Bleacher Report because it looked like a place that I could display and improve my sports writing skills, as that is my dream job.
Ahhh...the dreams of America's youth!
Now, I've never beaten up an 8th grader before (actually, I've never been in a fight...but regardless) but if anybody sees Mr. Curt Hogg at Miller Park this year please pick him up, take him to the nearest Port O John, and stuff him down the hole face first. This donkey needs a little lesson on the subject of "sample size."
I don't think an 8th grader has ever been named Billups of the Week, but Mr. Hogg just might be the first!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Friday afternoon blood boilers
Below is some stuff from all over that made my blood boil upon reading. Could this become a new segment on CH...??? As Kent Brockman would say, "Only time...will tell."
Bus Cook's continuing saga of Billupsdom:
We've reached a point in sports stories where there is almost too much information. Do we really have to know what Bus was quoted as saying about not being able to reach Jay Cutler?
"I didn't reach Jay directly -- I don't know what he was doing -- but I left a message. Then Brian called at the end of the day and asked me if I had heard from him. I hadn't. I heard from Jay when he called to tell me he just saw on TV he was being traded. They can spin it the way they want to spin it."
Like...OMG! At first he like...wouldn't call me back...so I was like, "dude, answer me" in a text. Who cares? I repeat: WHO EFFING CARES!?!
Prince Fielder is nothing but a fat DH who hits home runs, defense is more important.
Just an absolutely lovely sentence from Tom H's recent mailbag:
Q: Dawg13 - With Mat Gamil and Brad Nelson ready to step in at 1st base, will the Brewers consider trading Fielder as SI suggests? We need pitching and Fielder is a defensive liability. It seems to me were a lot stronger at the upper levels of the minor leagues in position players than pitchers. What we lose in HR's we may pick up in defensive saves. Fielder looks more and more like a DH.
Yeah Dawg! Defensive saves! That's what we need! Home runs are for greedy players!
The most moronic man on the face of the planet writes for the "Journal Times" apparently:
We've got several from this one...hat tip to Goldy for emailing it out this afternoon:
Barring some unforeseen trade, I fully expect the Brewers to take a free fall in the standings, one where they’ll end up in fourth place in the National League Central behind the Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals and Houston Astros.
Ohhhhh!!!!! Hey now! He "fully" expects? Well then...lock it in! Mr. Infallible! The Brewers are going to free fall! Seriously chump, the Houston Astros? Is this supposed to be an elaborate hoax? Let me double-check to see if he wrote this on April Fool's Day (checking...nope...he's just an idiot). Dude, let me inform you of something. The Astros suck. EVERYBODY has them FREE FALLING this year. They are a bunch of old guys who overachieved last year. Any team that needs any sort of a contribution from Darin Erstad is in serious trouble to contend.
If you thought Brett Favre was a prima donna, look out for Aaron Rodgers.
While Rodgers hasn’t done anything remotely close to what Favre accomplished, it’s amply apparent he craves the limelight. At the Super Bowl, which most quarterbacks won’t go near because of all the hassles, Rodgers hung out at media row. Then, at a recent Bucks’ game at the Bradley Center, Rodgers, instead of inconspicuously sitting in a luxury suite, sat courtside near center court.
The NERVE of Aaron Rodgers! How dare he! How dare he sit courtside! Everybody knows the key to long-term success in the NFL is by attending NBA games inconspicuously!
There's more in that article...but I'll stop there. I'll end on a more funny note from Tom H.'s chat again.
# Q: sam , green bay - what is up with jeffery jefferson? where is he starting the season ans was he hurt or some other reason i did not see him this spring?
# A: Tom Haudricourt - Perhaps you are referring to Jeremy Jeffress?
Nice work Sam. Way to double-check...I don't know...the dude's freaking name you are trying to get information about before firing off a drunken email to the state newspaper.
Anyway, what's the bottom line here? I don't know. The winter's been too long and thank God the regular season is about to start.
Bus Cook's continuing saga of Billupsdom:
We've reached a point in sports stories where there is almost too much information. Do we really have to know what Bus was quoted as saying about not being able to reach Jay Cutler?
"I didn't reach Jay directly -- I don't know what he was doing -- but I left a message. Then Brian called at the end of the day and asked me if I had heard from him. I hadn't. I heard from Jay when he called to tell me he just saw on TV he was being traded. They can spin it the way they want to spin it."
Like...OMG! At first he like...wouldn't call me back...so I was like, "dude, answer me" in a text. Who cares? I repeat: WHO EFFING CARES!?!
Prince Fielder is nothing but a fat DH who hits home runs, defense is more important.
Just an absolutely lovely sentence from Tom H's recent mailbag:
Q: Dawg13 - With Mat Gamil and Brad Nelson ready to step in at 1st base, will the Brewers consider trading Fielder as SI suggests? We need pitching and Fielder is a defensive liability. It seems to me were a lot stronger at the upper levels of the minor leagues in position players than pitchers. What we lose in HR's we may pick up in defensive saves. Fielder looks more and more like a DH.
Yeah Dawg! Defensive saves! That's what we need! Home runs are for greedy players!
The most moronic man on the face of the planet writes for the "Journal Times" apparently:
We've got several from this one...hat tip to Goldy for emailing it out this afternoon:
Barring some unforeseen trade, I fully expect the Brewers to take a free fall in the standings, one where they’ll end up in fourth place in the National League Central behind the Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals and Houston Astros.
Ohhhhh!!!!! Hey now! He "fully" expects? Well then...lock it in! Mr. Infallible! The Brewers are going to free fall! Seriously chump, the Houston Astros? Is this supposed to be an elaborate hoax? Let me double-check to see if he wrote this on April Fool's Day (checking...nope...he's just an idiot). Dude, let me inform you of something. The Astros suck. EVERYBODY has them FREE FALLING this year. They are a bunch of old guys who overachieved last year. Any team that needs any sort of a contribution from Darin Erstad is in serious trouble to contend.
If you thought Brett Favre was a prima donna, look out for Aaron Rodgers.
While Rodgers hasn’t done anything remotely close to what Favre accomplished, it’s amply apparent he craves the limelight. At the Super Bowl, which most quarterbacks won’t go near because of all the hassles, Rodgers hung out at media row. Then, at a recent Bucks’ game at the Bradley Center, Rodgers, instead of inconspicuously sitting in a luxury suite, sat courtside near center court.
The NERVE of Aaron Rodgers! How dare he! How dare he sit courtside! Everybody knows the key to long-term success in the NFL is by attending NBA games inconspicuously!
There's more in that article...but I'll stop there. I'll end on a more funny note from Tom H.'s chat again.
# Q: sam , green bay - what is up with jeffery jefferson? where is he starting the season ans was he hurt or some other reason i did not see him this spring?
# A: Tom Haudricourt - Perhaps you are referring to Jeremy Jeffress?
Nice work Sam. Way to double-check...I don't know...the dude's freaking name you are trying to get information about before firing off a drunken email to the state newspaper.
Anyway, what's the bottom line here? I don't know. The winter's been too long and thank God the regular season is about to start.
Friday, February 27, 2009
I'm Joe Panos! I won a Rose Bowl! Get Your Hands off my Ex-Wife!
HAHA!
Ladies and gentlemen, we've got your Friday Billups! Mr. Joe Panos!
Joe Panos, who is a WI sports celebrity who continues to hit the local charity drives and makes guest appearances on radio shows and the like, went after his Ex-wife's new Boyfriend's car Johnny Drama style with a golf club. Details were not available on whether or not he used a wood or an iron, but when in doubt...just like on the course...I say you should always use the 7 iron.
The wife of former professional football player Joe Panos told police that he threatened to kill her and damaged a friend's vehicle with golf clubs, according to a police report.
Waukesha County court records show that Panos' wife, Michelle, filed for divorce in November.
Anyway, we here at CH don't condone violence. So Mr. Panos gets our Billups nod this week. Joe, your wife filed for divorce. It's over. Rumor has it your promiscuous ways have caught up to you. Enjoy bachelorhood.
Ladies and gentlemen, we've got your Friday Billups! Mr. Joe Panos!
Joe Panos, who is a WI sports celebrity who continues to hit the local charity drives and makes guest appearances on radio shows and the like, went after his Ex-wife's new Boyfriend's car Johnny Drama style with a golf club. Details were not available on whether or not he used a wood or an iron, but when in doubt...just like on the course...I say you should always use the 7 iron.
The wife of former professional football player Joe Panos told police that he threatened to kill her and damaged a friend's vehicle with golf clubs, according to a police report.
Waukesha County court records show that Panos' wife, Michelle, filed for divorce in November.
Anyway, we here at CH don't condone violence. So Mr. Panos gets our Billups nod this week. Joe, your wife filed for divorce. It's over. Rumor has it your promiscuous ways have caught up to you. Enjoy bachelorhood.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Brett Favre Finally Admits His Billupsdom
Brett Favre the Leader. Brett Favre the Gamer. Brett Favre the epitome of everything you want in the QB position. Brett Favre the Teammate.
Or...how bout this...Brett Favre the Spiteful Donkey?
I saw his interview with Peter King linked on the JS this morning...the following is basically all you need to know about Brett Favre.
The reality, Favre knows now, is he not only wanted to play again, but he wanted to show Green Bay -- particularly general manager Ted Thompson -- that it was making a big mistake in going forward without him. "Part of me coming back last year, I have to admit now, was sticking it to Ted,'' he said in a rather startling admission.
There it is people. There it is. From the mouth of the man himself comes the proclamation of spite. It was never about the team. It's all about him. #4. This wasn't about football. This was about #4's image. "Oh...the Packers don't want me back 3 months after I've RETIRED? I'll show them! I'll show them all! I'll show them for not taking me back after I disappeared for months after the season ended and then showing up one day saying that I wanted to come back!"
I had moved on from Brett Favre. I really had. Any logical person looking at this situation knows the Packers were in the right and Favre was on the wrong. It was over. I no longer cared. Favre was proven wrong. He proved to be nothing more than an arrogant, washed up quarterback who couldn't stand his old team moving on without him.
But Favre cannot let it go. Who's been doing all the mudslinging? Nothing is coming out of the Packers' camp. Favre is behind it all. He continues to trash the very city, state, and fan base that supported him during his time at the top.
Keep it up Favre. Keep on trashing our memories with your crusade against the very team that gave you the opportunity to become the QB you became. I'm finished with you. Keep talking anymore and we'll how many left there will be to defend you.
Or...how bout this...Brett Favre the Spiteful Donkey?
I saw his interview with Peter King linked on the JS this morning...the following is basically all you need to know about Brett Favre.
The reality, Favre knows now, is he not only wanted to play again, but he wanted to show Green Bay -- particularly general manager Ted Thompson -- that it was making a big mistake in going forward without him. "Part of me coming back last year, I have to admit now, was sticking it to Ted,'' he said in a rather startling admission.
There it is people. There it is. From the mouth of the man himself comes the proclamation of spite. It was never about the team. It's all about him. #4. This wasn't about football. This was about #4's image. "Oh...the Packers don't want me back 3 months after I've RETIRED? I'll show them! I'll show them all! I'll show them for not taking me back after I disappeared for months after the season ended and then showing up one day saying that I wanted to come back!"
I had moved on from Brett Favre. I really had. Any logical person looking at this situation knows the Packers were in the right and Favre was on the wrong. It was over. I no longer cared. Favre was proven wrong. He proved to be nothing more than an arrogant, washed up quarterback who couldn't stand his old team moving on without him.
But Favre cannot let it go. Who's been doing all the mudslinging? Nothing is coming out of the Packers' camp. Favre is behind it all. He continues to trash the very city, state, and fan base that supported him during his time at the top.
Keep it up Favre. Keep on trashing our memories with your crusade against the very team that gave you the opportunity to become the QB you became. I'm finished with you. Keep talking anymore and we'll how many left there will be to defend you.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Billups of the Week
There are several reasons I got into this business people. Namely...I'm in it for the money, the fame, the women, the glory, and the downright SATISFACTION I get from being right all the time (except the times when I'm 100% wrong).
But sometimes people...sometimes...stuff comes along which make me LMAO in such a way that it cannot be properly described. This time...it came in email form.
Remember my post about Trenni last week? Just Woz being Woz right? Just doing anything to write about Trenni right? Did you ever say to yourself when reading that..."oh noooooo...Woz shouldn't have done that!"
Well...The CH inbox received this lovely nugget of an email from the current Billups' of the Week over at NFL Juice.
Hey Chuck head-
Listen up, sport. It's a joke. But for the record, we do know Trenni- personally. Great girl, and yes, she did go to Cancun in 97' with UW-Oshkosh, where she went to college before transferring. We've got the pics to prove it. She's not a slut or a dirtbag, we just wanted to get her name out there.
Lies? Check your sources before you call out other blogs.
Max, Turd, Burgundy
NFLJuice
Oh man...what's the term...I can't think of it...oh wait...I know...LOL! LOL!
Are these tools serious? They actually fired off an email from that post! And check out some of the language.
"Hey Chuck head..." Ummm...ok
"Listen up, sport." Sport? Did you just get done re-reading the Great Gatsby last night?
"It's a joke." Oh really? A joke? I never would have thought. Newsflash: So was my post you donkeys.
"We've got the pics to prove it." I'm sure you guys do. And I'm sure they are used frequently before bedtime.
"Lies? Check your sources before you call out other blogs." Oh man...check your sources? Like I have any sources? That was a "call out?" If we're talking about "checking sources" perhaps they should actually take a look at our blog and the number of Trenni posts we've (I've) had on here. She's a regular topic...and ummm...usually there is some satire involved.
So what's Trenni's take on all this? Unfortunately, she was unavailable for comment.
Congratulations to the NFL Juice for their first Billups of the Week win. Good times people...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wade Billups?
Great story from ESPN.com.
The fan was wearing a sandwich board that said, "Cowboys have no heart" on one side and "Wade is an embarrassment to the star" on the other...
James apparently stopped his vehicle and demanded the fan give him the sign. When the man refused, James removed it from him, breaking the man's eyeglasses in the process.
The parties were taken into the Cowboys' offices and after a discussion, no charges were filed.
After a discussion?!? HA! Yeah I bet. Here's the official dialogue from I'm making this up.com:
Jerry Jones: "Sorry about the altercation outside. I'd like to reimburse you for your glasses. How much were they?"
Man: "Not sure...maybe $150."
Jerry Jones: "Oh really? $500? Here you go (Hands him the benjamins)."
Man: "No wait...I said only..."
Jerry Jones: "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. $800 it is (Busts out a few more)."
Man: "Go Cowboys."
As an aside, the Cowboys are probably my 4th least favorite team, so I love the fact that Jerry Jones has already said he's bringing back Wade Billups for another year. God I love that.
The fan was wearing a sandwich board that said, "Cowboys have no heart" on one side and "Wade is an embarrassment to the star" on the other...
James apparently stopped his vehicle and demanded the fan give him the sign. When the man refused, James removed it from him, breaking the man's eyeglasses in the process.
The parties were taken into the Cowboys' offices and after a discussion, no charges were filed.
After a discussion?!? HA! Yeah I bet. Here's the official dialogue from I'm making this up.com:
Jerry Jones: "Sorry about the altercation outside. I'd like to reimburse you for your glasses. How much were they?"
Man: "Not sure...maybe $150."
Jerry Jones: "Oh really? $500? Here you go (Hands him the benjamins)."
Man: "No wait...I said only..."
Jerry Jones: "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. $800 it is (Busts out a few more)."
Man: "Go Cowboys."
As an aside, the Cowboys are probably my 4th least favorite team, so I love the fact that Jerry Jones has already said he's bringing back Wade Billups for another year. God I love that.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Weekly Bucks Report
The Weekly Bucks Report is written each week for CH by a man known in certain circles as Two Name. Its being posted on CH Monday instead of Tuesday this week, because I'm sure tomorrow we'll be spending a lot of time dissecting the important Bears - Packers game tonight (HA!)
The most brutal portion of the Milwaukee Bucks’ 2008-2009 schedule is coming to an end, and the team has put itself in great position after the first two months of the season.
Before the season began, it was clear the Bucks needed to hover around .500 through December. If they could do that while playing an unheard of amount of road games and back-to-backs early on, a playoff spot in the mediocre Eastern Conference was deemed possible. Well, at 13-16 through Sunday, the Bucks are the ninth best team in the East. While playoff positions will shift dramatically over the next couple months, the Bucks are in the mix.
You can find some encouraging signs if you look beyond just wins and losses in the Eastern Conference standings. The Bucks have played 18 road games through Sunday. The only team close to that number is Indiana with 15. All the other teams have played about 12 games on the road thus far. Of those 18 games on the road, Milwaukee has won six.
In my opinion, a team’s ability to win on the road reflects on its coaching and the makeup of its players. With that in mind, only five teams in the East (Boston, Cleveland, Orlando, Detroit, New Jersey) have won more road games than the Bucks. All of those teams – with the exception of New Jersey – were expected to contend this year, so Milwaukee is in good company.
Plus, if you look at a team like Chicago, which is ahead of Milwaukee in the standings, you see the Bulls have won only three games on the road. Chicago’s road struggles are just one of the reasons I don’t think they’ll finish ahead of the Bucks.
After getting pounded on the West Coast, the Bucks bounced back this week, winning two of three away from the Bradley Center. Milwaukee beat Miami and New York, with an inexplicable loss to Philadelphia sandwiched in between. Couple that with a blowout win over the Clippers Saturday, and the Bucks have won three of their last four games.
The Bucks host Utah and Detroit this week, and they need to win both of those games. Carlos Boozer is out for the Jazz and Detroit is not the same team with Chauncey Billups, who always killed Milwaukee.
Not so rocky road: The Bucks already have won one less road game than all of last season. I’ve tried my best to forget how bad the Bucks were last year, but seeing stats like that serves as an ugly reminder. Improved coaching and the addition of more experienced players – like Richard Jefferson, a proven winner in New Jersey – has made Milwaukee more confident on the road.
Player of the week: It’s frustrating watching Luke Ridnour shoot as much as he does. I pegged him as more of a pass-first guy, but he does look to shoot – sometimes too often. That being said, he has played well of late, quieting those – including myself – who wanted Ramon Sessions in the starting lineup. In the last three games, Ridnour has averaged 14 points and 5 assists. He has shot an efficient 62 percent from the field over that span.
This week: Bucks need to beat Utah and Detroit to take advantage of some rare home cooking.
The most brutal portion of the Milwaukee Bucks’ 2008-2009 schedule is coming to an end, and the team has put itself in great position after the first two months of the season.
Before the season began, it was clear the Bucks needed to hover around .500 through December. If they could do that while playing an unheard of amount of road games and back-to-backs early on, a playoff spot in the mediocre Eastern Conference was deemed possible. Well, at 13-16 through Sunday, the Bucks are the ninth best team in the East. While playoff positions will shift dramatically over the next couple months, the Bucks are in the mix.
You can find some encouraging signs if you look beyond just wins and losses in the Eastern Conference standings. The Bucks have played 18 road games through Sunday. The only team close to that number is Indiana with 15. All the other teams have played about 12 games on the road thus far. Of those 18 games on the road, Milwaukee has won six.
In my opinion, a team’s ability to win on the road reflects on its coaching and the makeup of its players. With that in mind, only five teams in the East (Boston, Cleveland, Orlando, Detroit, New Jersey) have won more road games than the Bucks. All of those teams – with the exception of New Jersey – were expected to contend this year, so Milwaukee is in good company.
Plus, if you look at a team like Chicago, which is ahead of Milwaukee in the standings, you see the Bulls have won only three games on the road. Chicago’s road struggles are just one of the reasons I don’t think they’ll finish ahead of the Bucks.
After getting pounded on the West Coast, the Bucks bounced back this week, winning two of three away from the Bradley Center. Milwaukee beat Miami and New York, with an inexplicable loss to Philadelphia sandwiched in between. Couple that with a blowout win over the Clippers Saturday, and the Bucks have won three of their last four games.
The Bucks host Utah and Detroit this week, and they need to win both of those games. Carlos Boozer is out for the Jazz and Detroit is not the same team with Chauncey Billups, who always killed Milwaukee.
Not so rocky road: The Bucks already have won one less road game than all of last season. I’ve tried my best to forget how bad the Bucks were last year, but seeing stats like that serves as an ugly reminder. Improved coaching and the addition of more experienced players – like Richard Jefferson, a proven winner in New Jersey – has made Milwaukee more confident on the road.
Player of the week: It’s frustrating watching Luke Ridnour shoot as much as he does. I pegged him as more of a pass-first guy, but he does look to shoot – sometimes too often. That being said, he has played well of late, quieting those – including myself – who wanted Ramon Sessions in the starting lineup. In the last three games, Ridnour has averaged 14 points and 5 assists. He has shot an efficient 62 percent from the field over that span.
This week: Bucks need to beat Utah and Detroit to take advantage of some rare home cooking.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Fail
I'd like to pwn approximately 98% of the people who comment in the JSOnline Blog.
Fools. Just fools.
Check out some of the crap written in the post today about the Yankee's interest in Mike Cameron.
It's totally anti-Cameron...but that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to make fun of this comment.
What about trading hall and weeks to seattle for ichiro? I mean Jack Z drafted those guys and has to still have faith in them that they can turn things around and become good players. Then that takes care of a left handed on base type guy. Just throwing the idea out there.
Ladies and Gentlemen...your Billups of the Week...JSONLINE poster Mattyo80!
YES! YES! It's gonna happen! Ichiro is going to be a Brewer next year! Doug Melvin is going to call up Jack Z in a week and here is going to be the exchange:
Doug- What up Z?
Jack Z- Chilling. It's raining again out here.
Doug- Told you man...should have stayed.
Jack Z- F you Doug...I made you. What do you want?
Doug-You always liked Rickie Weeks right?
Jack Z-I liked his potential sure. Uhh...why?
Doug-Let's think about a trade.
Jack Z-Ummm...ok. I've got a couple A ball players available.
Doug-Well...I was thinking more along the lines of the Japanese guy who runs all around the batter's box when he swings.
Jack Z-Ichiro. You want to me to give you Ichiro for Dick Weeks? Dude...I've got him locked up through 2012. He gets like...20M a year. You guys can't pay that. Plus, it's freaking Ichiro. I'll get fired within a week if I trade Ichiro for Weeks. Why are we even talking about this? This doesn't make any sense.
Doug-I know. That's why we're going to give you Bill Hall too. It'll make the numbers work.
Jack Z-Make. The. Numbers. Work. I don't want Bill Hall! I'm hanging up!
Doug-Wait Jack! I need you! (hears dial tone).
Fools. Just fools.
Check out some of the crap written in the post today about the Yankee's interest in Mike Cameron.
It's totally anti-Cameron...but that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to make fun of this comment.
What about trading hall and weeks to seattle for ichiro? I mean Jack Z drafted those guys and has to still have faith in them that they can turn things around and become good players. Then that takes care of a left handed on base type guy. Just throwing the idea out there.
Ladies and Gentlemen...your Billups of the Week...JSONLINE poster Mattyo80!
YES! YES! It's gonna happen! Ichiro is going to be a Brewer next year! Doug Melvin is going to call up Jack Z in a week and here is going to be the exchange:
Doug- What up Z?
Jack Z- Chilling. It's raining again out here.
Doug- Told you man...should have stayed.
Jack Z- F you Doug...I made you. What do you want?
Doug-You always liked Rickie Weeks right?
Jack Z-I liked his potential sure. Uhh...why?
Doug-Let's think about a trade.
Jack Z-Ummm...ok. I've got a couple A ball players available.
Doug-Well...I was thinking more along the lines of the Japanese guy who runs all around the batter's box when he swings.
Jack Z-Ichiro. You want to me to give you Ichiro for Dick Weeks? Dude...I've got him locked up through 2012. He gets like...20M a year. You guys can't pay that. Plus, it's freaking Ichiro. I'll get fired within a week if I trade Ichiro for Weeks. Why are we even talking about this? This doesn't make any sense.
Doug-I know. That's why we're going to give you Bill Hall too. It'll make the numbers work.
Jack Z-Make. The. Numbers. Work. I don't want Bill Hall! I'm hanging up!
Doug-Wait Jack! I need you! (hears dial tone).
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Minnesota ViQueens
Is there anything better then watching this team full of pansies fall under the weight of pre-season expectations? I wonder if this chump continued to cry all the way to the locker room and then Childress kicked him out of the room like Coach Kilmer did to Billy Bob in Varsity Blues?
Cause you know...that would be...like...awesome.
Picture pulled from the Pioneer Press website. Thanks to my buddy Two Name for the link.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
These are the words of one Bernie Miklasz
It's official. I hate the franchise. The St. Louis Cardinals are now on the same level as the Minnesota Vikings for me. Nothing but a bunch of bitchers and moaners. Ooooooooooooooooo...those Brewers are finally having a good year! Look at them! They untuck their shirts after games and look at their home runs after they hit them! One of their pitchers got a little fired up after working out of a bases loaded jam! What a bunch of arrogant assholes! They've never won anything...only we can do that!
Christ.
Basically, my malcontent feelings towards the franchise reached a boiling point after reading this, which is quite possibly the stupidest thing ever written:
* One more thing: I don’t understand the Brewers. I just don’t. Really, I admire that team and its talent. Doug Melvin is one of the best guys in the game and an excellent GM. There are so many good players on that roster. But why do the Brewers always have to pull stunts? Why do they have to go knucklehead on us so often? What’s up with yanking their shirts out of their pants on the field as soon as they win a game, which, despite what they claim, really is an insult to the other team? What’s up with some of the showboat HR trots? What’s up with a journeyman like Villanueva gesturing wildly and cursing in the direction of the STL dugout? I don’t understand why this talented team feels that it needs to act up like NBA bad boy Ron Artest, or something. I don’t understand why this Milwaukee team feels the need to be controversial. I don’t understand the arrogance, considering that the Brewers have won NOTHING since 1982. And I don’t understand how Yost continues to allow it to happen. The Brewers will probably make the playoffs. They are that good. But we must ask: can you fellas at least hold off on the showboating until you actually win something?
My REACT: Unreal. Simply unreal.
-What stunts are you referring to? Motorcycle jumps? Thrilling late-inning escapes? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
-The Brewers go "knucklehead" on you? In what context? Did any Brewer physically tap his knuckles on the head of a Cardinal? Again...what does this mean?
-Oh...I see what you mean. These "stunts" and "going knucklehead" are really your phrases and descriptions for when the Brewers pull out their shirts at the end of the game. WHY do they do it? They've been doing it basically all year you dolt. It's a silly little tradition Mike Cameron started that caught on because it was the first thing his Dad did when the workday was over (untucking his shirt). Jesus Christ. It's not an insult to anybody. Perhaps to Ralph Lauren...but not the other team. It's not directed towards the other team! OMG...I'm actually writing about the Brewers untucking their damn shirts! Who the F cares?! NOBODY CARES. They've been doing it all year and now the Cardinals are finally realizing they aren't the best (or 2nd best team) in the NL Central this year and they are looking for reasons. They are looking for someone to blame. They are looking for any reason to "shame" the Brewers.
-What's up with the Showboat home run trots? Are you joking? This has been happening in the majors for the last 15 years. ALBERT PUJOLS...a guy on your team...the infallible one...DOES THIS ALL THE TIME! Showboating home runs? This isn't specific to the Brewers you donkey.
-Maybe Carlos got a little excited...maybe. I'll give you that. But did you just call Carlos Villanueva a journeyman? What? A journeyman? Did you just call a 25 year old who has been traded 1 time in his minor league career and has been pitching on 1 major league roster for 3 years now a journeyman? Do you even know what journeyman means? Ron Villone is a goddamn journeyman. Dude's been on like 10 teams. Kent Mercker...yeah...I'd say he was a journeyman. But Carlos Villanueva? No...not a journeyman you fool.
-This "journalist" seriously compared the actions of the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers to that of Ron Artest. Ron Artest plays basketball. He's a maniac. He once jumped into the stands and attacked a fan. He also once beat up a woman, starved dogs, and made a freaking rap album. SOMEHOW HE AND ANY EFFING MEMBER OF THE 2008 BREWERS HAVE THINGS IN COMMON.
-CONTROVERSIAL. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-And then...he ends it all by saying this: can you fellas at least hold off on the showboating until you actually win something? Yes...there it is. This man feels it's ok to "showboat" when you win something. I feel like his entire article became moot at this juncture. Because good sportsmanship can go out the window once you "win" something...
...or in his case, when you are the St. Louis Cardinals.
Christ.
Basically, my malcontent feelings towards the franchise reached a boiling point after reading this, which is quite possibly the stupidest thing ever written:
* One more thing: I don’t understand the Brewers. I just don’t. Really, I admire that team and its talent. Doug Melvin is one of the best guys in the game and an excellent GM. There are so many good players on that roster. But why do the Brewers always have to pull stunts? Why do they have to go knucklehead on us so often? What’s up with yanking their shirts out of their pants on the field as soon as they win a game, which, despite what they claim, really is an insult to the other team? What’s up with some of the showboat HR trots? What’s up with a journeyman like Villanueva gesturing wildly and cursing in the direction of the STL dugout? I don’t understand why this talented team feels that it needs to act up like NBA bad boy Ron Artest, or something. I don’t understand why this Milwaukee team feels the need to be controversial. I don’t understand the arrogance, considering that the Brewers have won NOTHING since 1982. And I don’t understand how Yost continues to allow it to happen. The Brewers will probably make the playoffs. They are that good. But we must ask: can you fellas at least hold off on the showboating until you actually win something?
My REACT: Unreal. Simply unreal.
-What stunts are you referring to? Motorcycle jumps? Thrilling late-inning escapes? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
-The Brewers go "knucklehead" on you? In what context? Did any Brewer physically tap his knuckles on the head of a Cardinal? Again...what does this mean?
-Oh...I see what you mean. These "stunts" and "going knucklehead" are really your phrases and descriptions for when the Brewers pull out their shirts at the end of the game. WHY do they do it? They've been doing it basically all year you dolt. It's a silly little tradition Mike Cameron started that caught on because it was the first thing his Dad did when the workday was over (untucking his shirt). Jesus Christ. It's not an insult to anybody. Perhaps to Ralph Lauren...but not the other team. It's not directed towards the other team! OMG...I'm actually writing about the Brewers untucking their damn shirts! Who the F cares?! NOBODY CARES. They've been doing it all year and now the Cardinals are finally realizing they aren't the best (or 2nd best team) in the NL Central this year and they are looking for reasons. They are looking for someone to blame. They are looking for any reason to "shame" the Brewers.
-What's up with the Showboat home run trots? Are you joking? This has been happening in the majors for the last 15 years. ALBERT PUJOLS...a guy on your team...the infallible one...DOES THIS ALL THE TIME! Showboating home runs? This isn't specific to the Brewers you donkey.
-Maybe Carlos got a little excited...maybe. I'll give you that. But did you just call Carlos Villanueva a journeyman? What? A journeyman? Did you just call a 25 year old who has been traded 1 time in his minor league career and has been pitching on 1 major league roster for 3 years now a journeyman? Do you even know what journeyman means? Ron Villone is a goddamn journeyman. Dude's been on like 10 teams. Kent Mercker...yeah...I'd say he was a journeyman. But Carlos Villanueva? No...not a journeyman you fool.
-This "journalist" seriously compared the actions of the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers to that of Ron Artest. Ron Artest plays basketball. He's a maniac. He once jumped into the stands and attacked a fan. He also once beat up a woman, starved dogs, and made a freaking rap album. SOMEHOW HE AND ANY EFFING MEMBER OF THE 2008 BREWERS HAVE THINGS IN COMMON.
-CONTROVERSIAL. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-And then...he ends it all by saying this: can you fellas at least hold off on the showboating until you actually win something? Yes...there it is. This man feels it's ok to "showboat" when you win something. I feel like his entire article became moot at this juncture. Because good sportsmanship can go out the window once you "win" something...
...or in his case, when you are the St. Louis Cardinals.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
CC pwned Cecil
So much for the sweep...huh Cecil? Congratulations on your first Billups of the Week win.
As far as Brewer games go...that was about as fun as one can get to watch. 2 out- run scoring hits, home runs, and a dominant performance by the Guerranimal that is CC Sabathia. I can't even adequately express in words how awesome this guy is. Dude's a freaking beast.
The only armchair manager decision in question about that game was the fact that CC went back out to finish off the game in the 9th inning, holding a 7 run lead and with an already high pitch count. We already know that WV doesn't like it...but what do you guys think?
I wouldn't have minded if he would have gotten pulled, but I also like the fact that he finished it off. That is 5 complete games in 9 starts for the Crew. What he is doing is incredible. If he keeps up his pace, this mid-season acquisition will be remembered for a very long time. And you know what...the MAN himself says he's ok.
“It’s not that big a deal,” Sabathia said of his pitch count, which tied for the second-highest in the NL this season. “I knew I had an extra day (before pitching again).”
So there you go. A Ryan Braun "It doesn't matter I own you all" type of comment. CC gets an extra day off this week with the off days. Then he's going to come back out and pitch another complete game. That is what soul owners do.
As far as Brewer games go...that was about as fun as one can get to watch. 2 out- run scoring hits, home runs, and a dominant performance by the Guerranimal that is CC Sabathia. I can't even adequately express in words how awesome this guy is. Dude's a freaking beast.
The only armchair manager decision in question about that game was the fact that CC went back out to finish off the game in the 9th inning, holding a 7 run lead and with an already high pitch count. We already know that WV doesn't like it...but what do you guys think?
I wouldn't have minded if he would have gotten pulled, but I also like the fact that he finished it off. That is 5 complete games in 9 starts for the Crew. What he is doing is incredible. If he keeps up his pace, this mid-season acquisition will be remembered for a very long time. And you know what...the MAN himself says he's ok.
“It’s not that big a deal,” Sabathia said of his pitch count, which tied for the second-highest in the NL this season. “I knew I had an extra day (before pitching again).”
So there you go. A Ryan Braun "It doesn't matter I own you all" type of comment. CC gets an extra day off this week with the off days. Then he's going to come back out and pitch another complete game. That is what soul owners do.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Billups of the Week - Kenny Perry
Jesus Christ - What a freaking Sally.
"I had got some infection in there and my doctor said that I needed to let my eyes rest by keeping the contacts out," Perry said.
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...my eye hurts!!! The doctor says I can't wear contacts!!!! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Seriously, big effing deal. The guy actually withdrew after playing 1 round of the PGA Championship. Granted, he did shoot terrible, but so what? Man the F up, and go back out there today and shoot another 79. Real men take their lumps and miss the cut. Pussies and Billupi WD due to the fact that their eye hurts. It's not like playing golf is going to further damage his eye. It's not like he couldn't play.
This type of stuff bothers me somewhat. If he knew about the "injury" on Tuesday, then why did he even attempt to play? He could have sat out and another pro could have gotten into the field. He just screwed some guy out of a shot at golf's last glory.
In any event, congratulations on your Billups award Kenny. I believe it's his first.
"I had got some infection in there and my doctor said that I needed to let my eyes rest by keeping the contacts out," Perry said.
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...my eye hurts!!! The doctor says I can't wear contacts!!!! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Seriously, big effing deal. The guy actually withdrew after playing 1 round of the PGA Championship. Granted, he did shoot terrible, but so what? Man the F up, and go back out there today and shoot another 79. Real men take their lumps and miss the cut. Pussies and Billupi WD due to the fact that their eye hurts. It's not like playing golf is going to further damage his eye. It's not like he couldn't play.
This type of stuff bothers me somewhat. If he knew about the "injury" on Tuesday, then why did he even attempt to play? He could have sat out and another pro could have gotten into the field. He just screwed some guy out of a shot at golf's last glory.
In any event, congratulations on your Billups award Kenny. I believe it's his first.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Right-handed Adam LaRoche?
Apparently our 1st pick has been hitting with a wood bat since age 14, and can flat out rake.
But I think I sense a little Ryan Braun cockiness...which I loooooooooooooooooove...
In a conference call with members of the Milwaukee media, Lawrie announced he hopes to get to the big leagues "in about a year and a half."
As for making the commitment to catch full-time, Lawrie said, "I'm looking forward to competing. Hopefully, I'll be up to the big leagues as quick as possible and it'll be behind the dish."
Damn right. 18 years old...huge cock...1.5 million in the bank...big leagues by the age of 20...no effing problem.
BTW...My sources are still working on finding out if this kid is related to the one and only Paul Lawrie...the journeyman golfer who won the 1999 British Open after Jean Van de Velde Billups' the final hole with a 7.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Witrado Mailbag - Shorty...
You can zip through this one is like 7 minutes....there's actually some decent questions in there...go ahead.
But there are a few head shakers...mainly morons complaining about various topics related to Prince Fielder...so without further adieu:
Q: Jake of Atlanta, GA Via Burlington, WI - I have been struggling to get anyone to give me legitimate answer about the Brewers approach coming into the season. My first question is why would they risk upsetting Prince over a couple hundred thousand when he is the clubhouse leader, backbone of the lineup and CLEARLY the current face of the franchise. Not only does he have a difficult agent to work with but he also seems to have a lot of influence on the personality of a young team.
MY REACT: This question went on longer...and Witrado answered it very well. Go ahead and read the whole thing. Jake of Atlanta just can't understand the big picture. First of all, I wouldn't say he is CLEARLY the current face of the franchise. I would have to say reigning ROTY & 45 Million dollar man Ryan Braun might have something to say about that. The whole "risk of upsetting" Prince thing is idiotic. This type of shit happens ALL THE TIME. The Brewers (and all other teams) have some sort of formula which they renew their players year by year with. Going off of that formula and dumping a "couple hundred thousand" extra to Prince would be unfair to other players in the same situation. As a matter of fact, it would make said formula worthless. Jake mentions that he has a difficult agent. Well...that's Prince's fault. If you don't think the Brewers have offered a respectable long term deal to Fielder through his agent you're stupid. There is nothing the Brewers can do at this time regarding Prince. They are going to take him year by year because that is what his agent wants to do.
Q: Eric of Albany Wi. - Its obvious Fielder isnt happy in Milwaukee under his current contract.Whats the chance of us trading Fielder in the near future? So at least we can get something substantial for him.
A: Anthony Witrado - Not much of a chance. The team still has him for a while with some arbitration years.
MY REACT: For christ's sake...he signed the damn contract. He doesn't want a long term one. He and his agent are taking it year by year. THAT is what is obvious Eric. Look what happened with Braun. His agent didn't want him to sign long term, but he did it to lock in the money. He made a choice. Prince could have locked in too...but he CHOSE to go year by year. Stop with this nonsense about him not being happy.
Q: Jason of West Allis - I was at the game on Tuesday and my girlfriend asked, "How do they clean up the stand?" So now I ask you, How do they clean up after all us filthy fans? I think sweeping would be too inefficient. We settled on high pressure hoses.
A: Anthony Witrado - If this is the kind of conversations happening during games, this team must really be bad.
MY REACT: Jason of West Allis is Billups of the week, of this mailbag, and is a pussy.
Q: Jake of Milwaukee - Is there any chance that the Brewers would be willing to look into Jeff Cirillo curing their third base ills?
A: Anthony Witrado - Nope.
MY REACT: Not So Anonymous Jake...is this you?
But there are a few head shakers...mainly morons complaining about various topics related to Prince Fielder...so without further adieu:
Q: Jake of Atlanta, GA Via Burlington, WI - I have been struggling to get anyone to give me legitimate answer about the Brewers approach coming into the season. My first question is why would they risk upsetting Prince over a couple hundred thousand when he is the clubhouse leader, backbone of the lineup and CLEARLY the current face of the franchise. Not only does he have a difficult agent to work with but he also seems to have a lot of influence on the personality of a young team.
MY REACT: This question went on longer...and Witrado answered it very well. Go ahead and read the whole thing. Jake of Atlanta just can't understand the big picture. First of all, I wouldn't say he is CLEARLY the current face of the franchise. I would have to say reigning ROTY & 45 Million dollar man Ryan Braun might have something to say about that. The whole "risk of upsetting" Prince thing is idiotic. This type of shit happens ALL THE TIME. The Brewers (and all other teams) have some sort of formula which they renew their players year by year with. Going off of that formula and dumping a "couple hundred thousand" extra to Prince would be unfair to other players in the same situation. As a matter of fact, it would make said formula worthless. Jake mentions that he has a difficult agent. Well...that's Prince's fault. If you don't think the Brewers have offered a respectable long term deal to Fielder through his agent you're stupid. There is nothing the Brewers can do at this time regarding Prince. They are going to take him year by year because that is what his agent wants to do.
Q: Eric of Albany Wi. - Its obvious Fielder isnt happy in Milwaukee under his current contract.Whats the chance of us trading Fielder in the near future? So at least we can get something substantial for him.
A: Anthony Witrado - Not much of a chance. The team still has him for a while with some arbitration years.
MY REACT: For christ's sake...he signed the damn contract. He doesn't want a long term one. He and his agent are taking it year by year. THAT is what is obvious Eric. Look what happened with Braun. His agent didn't want him to sign long term, but he did it to lock in the money. He made a choice. Prince could have locked in too...but he CHOSE to go year by year. Stop with this nonsense about him not being happy.
Q: Jason of West Allis - I was at the game on Tuesday and my girlfriend asked, "How do they clean up the stand?" So now I ask you, How do they clean up after all us filthy fans? I think sweeping would be too inefficient. We settled on high pressure hoses.
A: Anthony Witrado - If this is the kind of conversations happening during games, this team must really be bad.
MY REACT: Jason of West Allis is Billups of the week, of this mailbag, and is a pussy.
Q: Jake of Milwaukee - Is there any chance that the Brewers would be willing to look into Jeff Cirillo curing their third base ills?
A: Anthony Witrado - Nope.
MY REACT: Not So Anonymous Jake...is this you?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Mailbag with Haudricourt!
Admit it people...you've missed it.
You've missed the absolutely asinine questions. You've missed the horrible grammar. You've missed the hillbilly names from various parts of WI. You've missed the Billups Like Tendancies.
After a couple week hiatus...the JSOnline Brewer Mailbag delivered yesterday. Give it 12 minutes of your time.
Q: TMac of Caledonia - Here a promotional idea..once a week, let a fan help set the lineup (within reason). We are paying for the building, why not. Don't give me...we they are pros and are honed for certain hitting situations. Does Neddy uses some sort of magic algorithm to set the lineup now?? If so...there are 2 major colleges in the city woul dcould help polish the #'s. Keep up the great work...You guys are helping a disabled veteran(me)get through each day with your great feedback and reporting..Thank You!
MY REACT: I am skipping Haudricourt's answer here...because it's irrelevant. Hey...that's a hot promotional idea TMAC! I say also once a week the Brewers pick a random guy to decide when to pinch-hit and when to pull a pitcher. I also say we hire a guy from UWM's math department to help Yost out with the #'s (cause...you know...there isn't a single statistician on the payroll already). But hey...in all seriousness...I'm happy you enjoy the Brewer games. I really am. Just don't waste your time emailing the paper. You're giving guys like me too much ammo.
Q: Kaleb of Whitewater - Hey guys, I love reading the blogs and articles on the Crew. To me it seems that the pitchers are really struggling with their pitch count in the games. Tuesday, for example, I think Parra had thrown 43 pitches through 2 innings and ended up with 112 through 5.2. It always seems that inning to inning our pitchers are throwing more pitches than theirs. This is probably because of the Brewers poor hitting allowing their pitchers to get out of the inning quickly. Your thoughts?
A: Tom Haudricourt - What blew Parra's pitch count up in that Pittsburgh game were two particular at-bats that went 12 and 13 pitches. That's 25 pitches right there, on two hitters.
MY REACT: I just think this is funny. The whole paragraph just makes you raise your eyebrows and go "huh?" Somehow "Kaleb" had a problem with Manny last week when he pitched 5.2 innings of shutout ball. Then he tries to say that he thinks the Brewers opponents are throwing less pitches than the Brewers are...but he doesn't give any backup for it (I have no idea if that is the case btw...but comparing pitch counts of different teams in the same game doesn't make sense because it's opposite sides of the spectrum). And yes "Kaleb..." if the Brewers get out quickly when they are batting the other pitcher will not have a high pitch count. That is obvious. What was the point of your paragraph again?
Q: jay christianson of baraboo - hey with all the blown saves we have already had. dont you think it would have been for the best for this team. if melvin would have just paid cordero the money that he wanted. i mean look at the saves he had for us last year. man he could have been in firstor close to first place right now. thanks jay.
A: Tom Haudricourt - If GMs paid every player all the money he wanted every time, it would be a tough way to do business. I know it looks bad now. If Cordero goes down the tubes during that contract, it won't look as bad.
MY REACT: Next year when Jason Kendall wants $15 million a year for 7 years...give it to him. That's what he wants.
Q: Chris of Wauwatosa - OK, I already know the answer, but this is for everyone else who seems to know something about baseball. If Gagne is "so bad" and the Brewers are just supposed to get rid of him, who becomes the closer? Are there any good closers on the market for anything less than $10 million a year?
A: Tom Haudricourt - There are no closers on the market, period, that I know of.
MY REACT: For fuck's sake...Salomon Torres is the closer of this team. Dude has been light's out. Let's move on people. The Eric Gagne era is over.
Q: warren wilber of oshkosh - when are the brewers going to sign feilder or are they going wait to long and lose him like there closer last year or are they just waiting to see what he will do yet this season
A: Tom Haudricourt - The Fielder negotiations stopped basically because his agent, Scott Boras, is not of the mind to sell away arbitration years unless the money is top-end.
MY REACT: My favorite question in the mailbag. It's got the funny name, horrible grammar, and no understanding of the Brewers or baseball in general. THE BREWERS OWN PRINCE FIELDER's LIFE FOR THE NEXT 3 YEARS. WE CAN'T LOSE HIM UNLESS WE TRADE HIM. The various options around signing him to a multi-year contract are the only variables we need to be talking about.
Q: Joel of Chicago - Have there been any discussions about using Bush to close? I know he doesn't have typical "closer stuff," but he had success closing at Wake Forest and seems to do alright the first time through the line-up. Thanks.
A: Tom Haudricourt - I've heard no talk of Bush closing. He has struggled so much this season, I don't think that has put him front and center as a closing option. Well, folks, the game is starting, so I'll have to close this mailbag. Talk to you next week.
MY REACT: Yes...Dave Bush was a lights out closer 6 years ago (or whenever the hell it was) in the Atlantic Coast Conference. Dear God sir, are we really going to compare the ACC to MLB? Are we? You seriously want Dave Bush as a closer? How many bottles of MD 20/20 were you down when you found a computer to send that email?
I've missed the mailbag...I really have.
You've missed the absolutely asinine questions. You've missed the horrible grammar. You've missed the hillbilly names from various parts of WI. You've missed the Billups Like Tendancies.
After a couple week hiatus...the JSOnline Brewer Mailbag delivered yesterday. Give it 12 minutes of your time.
Q: TMac of Caledonia - Here a promotional idea..once a week, let a fan help set the lineup (within reason). We are paying for the building, why not. Don't give me...we they are pros and are honed for certain hitting situations. Does Neddy uses some sort of magic algorithm to set the lineup now?? If so...there are 2 major colleges in the city woul dcould help polish the #'s. Keep up the great work...You guys are helping a disabled veteran(me)get through each day with your great feedback and reporting..Thank You!
MY REACT: I am skipping Haudricourt's answer here...because it's irrelevant. Hey...that's a hot promotional idea TMAC! I say also once a week the Brewers pick a random guy to decide when to pinch-hit and when to pull a pitcher. I also say we hire a guy from UWM's math department to help Yost out with the #'s (cause...you know...there isn't a single statistician on the payroll already). But hey...in all seriousness...I'm happy you enjoy the Brewer games. I really am. Just don't waste your time emailing the paper. You're giving guys like me too much ammo.
Q: Kaleb of Whitewater - Hey guys, I love reading the blogs and articles on the Crew. To me it seems that the pitchers are really struggling with their pitch count in the games. Tuesday, for example, I think Parra had thrown 43 pitches through 2 innings and ended up with 112 through 5.2. It always seems that inning to inning our pitchers are throwing more pitches than theirs. This is probably because of the Brewers poor hitting allowing their pitchers to get out of the inning quickly. Your thoughts?
A: Tom Haudricourt - What blew Parra's pitch count up in that Pittsburgh game were two particular at-bats that went 12 and 13 pitches. That's 25 pitches right there, on two hitters.
MY REACT: I just think this is funny. The whole paragraph just makes you raise your eyebrows and go "huh?" Somehow "Kaleb" had a problem with Manny last week when he pitched 5.2 innings of shutout ball. Then he tries to say that he thinks the Brewers opponents are throwing less pitches than the Brewers are...but he doesn't give any backup for it (I have no idea if that is the case btw...but comparing pitch counts of different teams in the same game doesn't make sense because it's opposite sides of the spectrum). And yes "Kaleb..." if the Brewers get out quickly when they are batting the other pitcher will not have a high pitch count. That is obvious. What was the point of your paragraph again?
Q: jay christianson of baraboo - hey with all the blown saves we have already had. dont you think it would have been for the best for this team. if melvin would have just paid cordero the money that he wanted. i mean look at the saves he had for us last year. man he could have been in firstor close to first place right now. thanks jay.
A: Tom Haudricourt - If GMs paid every player all the money he wanted every time, it would be a tough way to do business. I know it looks bad now. If Cordero goes down the tubes during that contract, it won't look as bad.
MY REACT: Next year when Jason Kendall wants $15 million a year for 7 years...give it to him. That's what he wants.
Q: Chris of Wauwatosa - OK, I already know the answer, but this is for everyone else who seems to know something about baseball. If Gagne is "so bad" and the Brewers are just supposed to get rid of him, who becomes the closer? Are there any good closers on the market for anything less than $10 million a year?
A: Tom Haudricourt - There are no closers on the market, period, that I know of.
MY REACT: For fuck's sake...Salomon Torres is the closer of this team. Dude has been light's out. Let's move on people. The Eric Gagne era is over.
Q: warren wilber of oshkosh - when are the brewers going to sign feilder or are they going wait to long and lose him like there closer last year or are they just waiting to see what he will do yet this season
A: Tom Haudricourt - The Fielder negotiations stopped basically because his agent, Scott Boras, is not of the mind to sell away arbitration years unless the money is top-end.
MY REACT: My favorite question in the mailbag. It's got the funny name, horrible grammar, and no understanding of the Brewers or baseball in general. THE BREWERS OWN PRINCE FIELDER's LIFE FOR THE NEXT 3 YEARS. WE CAN'T LOSE HIM UNLESS WE TRADE HIM. The various options around signing him to a multi-year contract are the only variables we need to be talking about.
Q: Joel of Chicago - Have there been any discussions about using Bush to close? I know he doesn't have typical "closer stuff," but he had success closing at Wake Forest and seems to do alright the first time through the line-up. Thanks.
A: Tom Haudricourt - I've heard no talk of Bush closing. He has struggled so much this season, I don't think that has put him front and center as a closing option. Well, folks, the game is starting, so I'll have to close this mailbag. Talk to you next week.
MY REACT: Yes...Dave Bush was a lights out closer 6 years ago (or whenever the hell it was) in the Atlantic Coast Conference. Dear God sir, are we really going to compare the ACC to MLB? Are we? You seriously want Dave Bush as a closer? How many bottles of MD 20/20 were you down when you found a computer to send that email?
I've missed the mailbag...I really have.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Rumblings...
Can't fire Ned now...this team is butter!
These are the games/teams that the Brewers are supposed to win/beat. I'm not looking past today's game...but the Nationals are another team the Brewers need to whoop up on. 3 out of 4 there is a must as well before the team comes back to Milwaukee. You can almost hear Braun pumping up the guys in the clubhouse before these games..."We need to kick their ass...it's the freaking Pirates for crying out loud...sit dead red on a fastball and let's own these chumps!"
How good is Ben Sheets? Seriously. Guy is just a stud and is head over heals better then every other Brewer pitcher. Take a good look at the stats. Innings pitched. Strikeouts v Walks. ERA. It gets old mentioning but it needs to be reiterated: without him the Brewers would be terrible instead of painfully average.
Can we just cut the crap and call Salomon Torres the closer? I mean come on. The guy is lights out out of the pen this year. Nope...don't want to Ned? Why? Here's why:
"Probably, he will get the majority of the closing situations," Yost said. "But if I don't have to, I don't like to paint myself into a corner. If I want to bring in Shouse, I don't [want to] get 90 questions on why Torres didn't pitch."
Stop thinking Ned. Just know this. Torres can go an inning plus. If it's in the 8th and we are up, bring Torres in the nail the game down. That's all I'm saying man. K bye Gagne...enjoy your 10 million you billups.
Bill Hall and his putrid OBP (.286!!!!) are finally done as the everyday 3rd baseman. I refuse to do the Bill Hall chant ever again until he gets his OBP over .300. I'm sorry, that's my breaking point. Get ready for...another Craig Counsell platoon! Yes! My only question is: Is Russell the Muscle not even being considered if this platoon is for real? Guy is owning souls in Triple A to the tune of a 1.151 OPS! Get him up here! Is it not even worth a shot?!
These are the games/teams that the Brewers are supposed to win/beat. I'm not looking past today's game...but the Nationals are another team the Brewers need to whoop up on. 3 out of 4 there is a must as well before the team comes back to Milwaukee. You can almost hear Braun pumping up the guys in the clubhouse before these games..."We need to kick their ass...it's the freaking Pirates for crying out loud...sit dead red on a fastball and let's own these chumps!"
How good is Ben Sheets? Seriously. Guy is just a stud and is head over heals better then every other Brewer pitcher. Take a good look at the stats. Innings pitched. Strikeouts v Walks. ERA. It gets old mentioning but it needs to be reiterated: without him the Brewers would be terrible instead of painfully average.
Can we just cut the crap and call Salomon Torres the closer? I mean come on. The guy is lights out out of the pen this year. Nope...don't want to Ned? Why? Here's why:
"Probably, he will get the majority of the closing situations," Yost said. "But if I don't have to, I don't like to paint myself into a corner. If I want to bring in Shouse, I don't [want to] get 90 questions on why Torres didn't pitch."
Stop thinking Ned. Just know this. Torres can go an inning plus. If it's in the 8th and we are up, bring Torres in the nail the game down. That's all I'm saying man. K bye Gagne...enjoy your 10 million you billups.
Bill Hall and his putrid OBP (.286!!!!) are finally done as the everyday 3rd baseman. I refuse to do the Bill Hall chant ever again until he gets his OBP over .300. I'm sorry, that's my breaking point. Get ready for...another Craig Counsell platoon! Yes! My only question is: Is Russell the Muscle not even being considered if this platoon is for real? Guy is owning souls in Triple A to the tune of a 1.151 OPS! Get him up here! Is it not even worth a shot?!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Story of 2008 so far!
No...it's not a Brewers Story. It's much better. Oh yes it is. How about a story about a guy who gets hammered on wine, dresses up as Darth Vader and attacks a Jedi church?
So many tidbits here that I love! Here are my two favorite parts:
Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon (10-liter) box of wine beforehand.
In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 - 0.7 percent of the population - listed Jedi as their religion.
My REACT: In my opinion, the story of the year so far in 2008. Unreal! I don't see how anything can overtake this...unless it's on the quality of the guy last year who busted in his neighbor's apartment with a sword thinking a woman was being raped when in reality his neighbor was watching loud porn. That will never be topped.
Good times!
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