Brewers vs. Obermueller

I'm curious what everyone thinks is going to happen tonight when Milwaukee takes on former Brewers standout Wes Obermueller. I think that one of two scenarios will play out:

A. The Brewers climb all over Wes and he lasts about 2 2/3 innings giving up 5 + runs.
B. OB (that's what his boys call him) shuts down the Crew over 8 innings - 2 runs or less.

I frankly don't see anything happening in between.

The Brewers have been known to struggle against their terrible former pitchers (see Santos, Victor), and they aren't exactly firing on all cylinders right now, so I vote B.

Dom James Update

Not really much of a suprise, but Dom James is throwing up bricks in the NBA pre-draft camp. He also recorded a goose egg in the assists department. Good luck playing for the Idaho Stampede of the NBDL.

A Marquette Blog has some James analysis, including this one from NBADraft.net:

"Dominic James appears to be the player that made the biggest mistake playing here. His stock is plummeting and it could have a lingering effect on next year as well, should he return to Marquette. James decided to enter the draft when it appeared coach Tom Crean might be leaving for greener pastures. After it became apparent that wasn't happening, James decided to continue to "explore his draft options". Big mistake. James first game in the camp he went scoreless on 0-3 shooting with 0 assists. Even worse than the terrible game, his inability to run a team has been exposed."

Random Good Times

So I take Junior to check out a local little league game last night. Some random schmoe with a brand spanking new Brewer hat comes over and sits next to me. He sees my Brewer hat and starts making small talk. Did you see the today's game...blah, blah, blah...until this gem of a dialog took place:
Me: "Tough game today, but at least Bush pitched well."
Schmoe: "Yeah, he's been awesome all year."
Me (with a small grin on my face, trying to egg him on): "Yeah, I herd they were talking about him making the All-Star game."
Schmoe: "Oh yeah, he should easily be in the All Star game...maybe even the Cy Young this year."

Dave Bush, your NL Cy Young leader! Good Times.

Kaboom!

I missed the 8th inning (thankfully), but got the recap from others. WTF?? So Turnbow, Shouse and Spurling think they are guy from Kaboom? How about putting out more fires than you start? Billy actually got two hits, which is noteworthy.

Rubber Match

Tim Hudson's life is better than yours

It's Tim Hudson (5-3, 2.79) vs David Bush (3-5, 6.13) this afternoon in Milwaukee. Advantage: Braves. Dick Weeks and his struggling bat/glove will be on the bench...replaced by Counsell. Feel free to sign up for the Rickie Weeks fan club...Yippy!!!

Whew!

That, my friends, was a much needed victory. CoCo provided some nervous moments in the 9th, but he came through in the end saving a 5-4 Brewer win. Those guys were genuinely excited when the final out was recorded, you could tell...seemed like a win in September rather than May. Kudos to the lineup for not only banging 15 hits, but scoring a few runs off of Smoltz...not an easy guy to get rolling against.

Nothing against Villanueva (whom I like), but why not start the 7th inning with Wise? Isn't he pretty much your de facto 7th inning guy with a small lead?

And what about Braun? I love that guy too, but why is he batting 3rd? How about letting him get settled into the majors by batting 6th or 7th? The 3 spot isn't struggling, the bottom part of the lineup is. Braun's not embarrassing himself or anything, it's just am observation.

Chuckles

Found this site quite amusing. JoeSportsFan. Here are a few selected links for your enjoyment:

• I Am Softball Guy


• Every Little League Lineup Breakdown


• Ugliest MLB players...check who's #2!


• Worst Sports Video games

Enjoy

Don't Buy Maytag Products

While we are on the subject of household purchases, do yourself a favor and never buy a Maytag product. Consider yourself warned. I could give you numerous examples, but I'll only give you mine....I had a 2 year old washing machine started on fire. Not good times.

We now return to regularly scheduled sports posts.

Beer Bath

So, I am sure all those who check out Deadspin saw this last week, but here is a link to a chick who decided to dump her beer on her chest during last weeks Brewers/Dodgers series.
http://lioninoil.blogspot.com/2007/05/bottom-of-ninth-two-outs-whats-girl-to.html
Honestly, beers at that place cost $9. Not great fiscal sense there. This chick also looks like Michael Douglas' daughter in "Traffic" (Damn fine movie by the way.) After looking this up on IMDB, her name is Erika Christensen. I just always assumed her name was "the chubby Julia Stiles."

Lawnmower

So, I am in the market for a lawnmower. Any suggestions. I have heard such things as: buy a Craftsman, I would never buy a Craftsman and, Hondas are overpriced. Any advice?

Goldy's Wekly Takes

4-13 Yikes!
I believe I stated multiple times on this very blog that the Brewers rotation was set up as such that they would not experience 1-5 road trips or lose many games in a row as they have in the past because of the solid starting rotation. Guess I was wrong. I'll still up the win total from my project low-70's range but I see 84 wins as a maximum. I am frustrated with this team right now. Thankfully, I have not been able to watch many of these games, but that also does not allow me to figure out what exactly is wrong with this team.

Obviously we can't hit worth a crap right now, and if we actually score over 3 runs, the pitching is bad. Mench just needs to leave. The outfield is a mess. Hall is the only everyday player and he has looked turdish. Honestly, nobody else in the outfield does anything for me. Jenkins does a little, but the rest, including Gwynn do not excite me when they come up to bat.

What needs to be done? Beats the hell out of me. Honestly, what can we get for Mench?

Moving on, in response to Chopp's review of the Fox Valley Minor League Ballpark, I thought I would provide a one-sentence summary for all of the ballparks I have been to.

• County Stadium: Many great memories, but wow, was that place a hole.
• Miller Park: I like it more and more every time I go. Just wish they would open the roof and the panels more.
• Wrigley Field:The stadium is crap but you have to love the scene outside the park.
• Old Comiskey: There in its last year. Smelled like a turd. Imagine it was a cool place back in the day.
• Metrodome: Pure junk. I am proud to say I played a role in getting the new stadium built.
• Municipal Stadium: This thing looked exactly like County, except it held 85,000. The lower deck went on forever.
• Riverfront Stadium: The highlight here was a hot dog billboard that said, "The wiener the world awaited."
• Olympic Stadium: So bad it was awesome. Me and 5,000 French people and orange foul poles because the seats were yellow.
• Skydome: OK, I was actually there for a Canadian Football League game and the Roughriders had one point at halftime. The Argos played stellar D.
• Angels Stadium: This place was really nice and amazingly, very affordable.
• Dodger Stadium: Wasn't awed like I thought I would be, but a pretty cool place to watch a game. Helps if you speak Spanish.
• Kaufman Stadium: Decent enough place. Easy in and out. 4 years of horrible baseball.
• Old Busch: This place was junk. Cards fans tend to pricks.
• Safeco Field: Nice.
• Minor Leagues: As a minor league clubhouse manager, I experienced several minor league stadiums from the inside. I would have to go with Winnipeg as the nicest. They serve their fries with mayo however. Yuck.

Few quick other thoughts:

• As was stated in McManus' Bucks piece: CONLEY, CONLEY, CONLEY!
• If I am flipping through radio stations and Phillip Bailey/Phil Collin's "Easy Lover" comes on, I am probably going to leave that song on.
• Indy 500. So, some guy flips upside down, it starts raining and you end the race with 100 miles to go? That seems kinda bunk.
• Dom James. Give it up buddy. Go back to school.
• Went out in Janesville Saturday night. I have never seen such a collection of chicks weighing in at over a deuce/deuce-and-a-half. And as a reminder, this is saying something since I have been living in Racine for 4 months.
• There is something wrong with Cappy's shoulder. Take my word on this one.
• This weekend we move into our house. Look for much happier versions of Goldy's Weekly Takes in the future.

Til next time, "The human torch was denied a bank loan."

Rueben Studdard Shot!

Just kidding. This is actually a wild hog shot by an 11 year old in Alabama. The key word in that sentence was “wild.” WTF?? Wild? In the same way deer are wild animals in Wisconsin? You’re telling me hogs that check in at 1,051 pounds are running wild in the hills of Alabama? Wow. Imagine hitting that thing with your Ford Escort! Oh, and it took 9 shots and 3 hours before ol’ Bessy finally fell asleep. Wooooooo Pig Suey!!!!!!!!!!

Bo Jackson = Freak of Nature

A nice piece on the man, the myth, the legend....Bo Jackson. Good lord was this guy talented. Here are a few highlights of the story (and this doesn't even go into his Tecmo Bowl prowess):

• On the day Bo signed, he asked whether he could take batting practice. Bo had not swung a bat in months. He hit the first pitch he saw off the base of the crown scoreboard in center field. It had to fly 450 feet. Avron Fogelman, who co-owned the Royals, shouted: “Get me that baseball.” Bo promptly hit the second ball he saw to almost the exact same spot, off the base of the scoreboard.
  “Get me that ball, too,” Fogelman said.
• May 15, 1989: Legendary baseball writer Peter Gammons was in Minnesota to write a Sports Illustrated cover story about Jackson, so he watched Bo take batting practice. It was a typical Bo hitting session — he cracked rockets all over the field. Then it was time for his last swing. Bo jumped into the cage and hit left-handed.
  He hit a titanic shot 450 feet off the Hardware Hank sign in right field.
  Left-handed.
  “I got work to do,” Bo said to the other players, whose jaws had dropped. He ran out to the outfield to shag some fly balls.

How I Would Fix the Bucks

Now that we know that the Bucks are picking #6 in the draft (the last in a series of groin shots that this franchise has endured this year), the question is, what do the Bucks do to avoid another disappointing season next year? Here are a couple of options that I would explore to fix the Bucks - a lot of this depends on who is available at #6 in the draft.

Option 1: Draft a PG.

I said 2 years ago that I wished the Bucks could take Deron Williams at #1, because I thought he was the guy the Bucks needed (ask Chopp - I probably have the email to prove it somewhere). But since they would get lambasted for picking Williams #1, they went for Bogut, with mixed results. As you might know, Williams is playing at an unbelievably high level for Utah right now in the Western Conference Finals.

Therefore, I actually think dropping to #6 might be a blessing in disguise, if the Bucks were going to miss out on the top 2 picks. This means they can draft the guy who might help them the most next year - Mike Conley Jr. out of Ohio St. I have loved this guy's game ever since he destroyed Wisconsin in 2 late-season meetings. It was Conley, and not Oden, who Wisconsin was unable to contain in those losses.

With Conley in the fold, the Bucks can let Mo Williams walk. I like Mo, but he's just not the PG that the Bucks need to get to the next level. When healthy, they have enough guys to score the basketball. What they need is a distributor and a slasher, and Conley fits the bill. Mo is going to get ridiculous money coming off his strong 2006-07 season, and I personally don't think he's worth that money. He's a nice player, but he takes lots of shots and is a non-entity on the defensive end.

With Mo gone, the Bucks have a bunch of money to go after a free agent. Personally, I'd take a long look at Gerald Wallace, the Charlotte Bobcats forward who is one of those skill/effort players that the Bucks don't have on their roster. He's athletic, plays defense, rebounds, and generally does all of the things the Bucks don't do. He'll likely command a big salary, and Charlotte would like to re-sign him, but the Bobcats have been notorious penny-pinchers so the Bucks could make a play on him. Assuming Simmons and Charlie V come back healthy, that could be a nice rotation at the forward position.

Option 2: Draft a SF

If Conley Jr. is gone but Corey Brewer is available, the other option would be to re-sign Mo Williams and draft Brewer to fill the SF hole that was created with Bobby Simmons' disappearing act. Brewer is a long, athletic player who might eventually be an outstanding offensive player. He has range with his jumper, and was the best wing defender I saw in college basketball last year. Although I think Wallace is a better player right now, Brewer might eventually be a better scorer. This isn't a bad backup plan, although I still have my questions about Mo. Since Lynn Grier is their only PG right now, however, re-signing Mo becomes more of a priority if Conley Jr. is not available.

Option 3: Draft Noah

I don't like this option, but if both Conley Jr. and Brewer are gone (and assuming Horford is gone too), this is probably their only reasonable play. Noah does bring the shot blocking and emotion that is often missing on the Bucks, but I'd personally prefer if they can go another direction. His offensive game is unrefined, but that's probably OK for the Bucks since scoring the basketball has not been their problem. I wouldn't hate this move - just would prefer one of the other guys discussed above.

Not an Option: Sign Chauncy Billups

I know lots of people want the Bucks to go after Billups, but guess what? The Pistons aren't going to let him walk. I just don't see this happening.

What will Larry Harris do? Probably none of these options, which is why he sucks, and so do the Bucks.

"Go F%#k Yourself, San Diego"

In the words of Ron Burgandy: "Go f%# yourself, San Diego." The Brewers leave SD 0-3, making it 1-5 on the west coast. Not good.

On the bright side, Brauny looks like a big time player. His upside might be the best of the 4 infielders...

Brauny Man

Let's count the number of times Rock Schroeder calls him "Brauny" or "Brauny Man" tonight. The over/under is set at 43.5.

High School Slaughter of the Week

Inspired by an earlier post, this will be the first of weekly installments called: “High School Slaughter of the week”

First round action from the WIAA girls softball playoffs (In 5 innings, mind you):

Rice Lake 30
Hayward 2

Before you laugh, the game was in Rice Lake so Hayward does have that going for them, which is nice. I guess Rice Lake had faster courtesy runners...or Hayward just sucks.

Finally!

We've been waiting for you....

Ryan Braun and his thunderous bat will be in the starting lineup tonight in San Diego!! Counsinino, you are dead to me!!

Carl Pavano, Well Worth the Money

Carl Pavano's company van.

Carl Pavano's final Yankee stats: 5-9, 4.77 ERA. Not good. Not for a $40 million contract. What's even worse:

• 111 innings worth of work, or $360,360 per inning!
• and, using approximately 14 pitcher per inning, $25,740 per pitch!!

If it wasn't the Yankees, I would almost feel bad. Hey parents out there...start working on your kids rotator cuff!

Port Washington PD: Stern, stern but fair.

WTF's is this? A Port bartender got a ticket for hooking up a Miller Lite tap to a keg of Coors Light...even if he told the patrons it was really Coors. The ticket should have been because it wasn't High Life.

Milwaukee King Sucks at Golf

While perusing the newspaper, I saw these results for the Whitefish Bay golf regional.

WHITEFISH BAY, At Washington County
Team results - 1, Homestead 312; 2, Whitefish Bay 335; 3, Cedarburg 336; 4, Nicolet 354; 5, Port Washington 364; 6, Menomonee Falls 366; 7, Milw Madison /Languages /Marshall, 461; 8, Milw. King 601.

601 for King!! WTF? They take the best 4 scores so that’s like a 150 for each player. No way, there has to be more to the story. Are they using broomsticks? You could find any Joe off the street and they could beat that.

Dodgers 5, Brewers 1

Last time we faced a right handed pitcher, we scored 9 runs. How about using that same lineup? What a concept? Ned disagreed. Granted, Brad Penny is a much better pitcher than Brett Tomko. Just thought they would see how that lineup would perform again. And how about seeing every bodies favorite failed experiment...the Counsinino debacle on the field simultaneously! .231 and .187. Sweet! Everybody at once....RY-AN, BRA-UN, clap, clap, clapclapclap, RY-AN, BRA-UN...

Oh, and its good to see Prince almost kicking the life out of the other teams 1B coach...who was a former middle infielder. Advantage, Prince.

Lottery Losers

"Hey, I've got a great deal on a '99 Neon...low miles, great gas milage, one owner..."

The ping pong ball didn’t go the Bucks way last night. The worst position they could have drafted? 6th. The Bucks pick…6th. Ouch. Still some good players out there (Horford or Brewer would be my pick), but this hurts. As mentioned yesterday, the Bucks needed a top 2 pick. This isn’t 2005 when nobody thought Andy Bogut would step in and dominate. It wont take long before Durant makes a difference, and Oden can come in tomorrow and be a defensive force. Then again, “defensive force” and “Bucks” go together like BoSox and Yankee fans.

I really think this was the event that kills the Bucks in Milwaukee. I have no faith in Larry Harris and Herb Kohl to turn it around. Heck, take away Harris’ greasy, used car salesman hair, give him a wig, and you could call him Wendy Selig-Prieb. Yeah, that’s a good comparison: Kohl = Bud Selig, Harris = Wendy. It’s the end of the Bucks era in Milwaukee….bring in the Mayflower moving vans, Baltimore Colts-style.

Oh, at least now we know the NBA doesn't rig the draft. The two best prospects in years will be stuck in the Pacific Northwest (Seattle, Portland) with 9:05 tipoffs so nobody can watch them. I thought Boston would get one of these for sure. No chilled envalopes or doctored ping pong balls this year...

As for my pick, I think Tito’s kid will be gone by the 6th pick. I’ll take Corey Brewer. Milwaukee needs an athletic 3 guard who can get to the rim. Bobby Simmons is still stealing money and that Euro sucks.

CBS Sportsline Brewer Article

Another glowing article on the Brewers. Sounds like The Glue is living up to his name:

"Usually in Jenkins' room, because he's got a suite," Hardy says. "We'll order food on his bill and go have fun."

Nothing like letting the overpaid high-priced veteran handle the bill.

Anyone else know why Nedly wears a coat in like 75 degree weather?

NBA Action, it's FAAAAANTASTIC!!

In the NBA playoffs, there are a few teams left and I'm sure they're playing some really fascinating basketball. Whatever. The real reason to tune in tonight is for the draft lottery. Bucks fans should be especially interested as their terrible season gives them the 3rd best chance for landing the first pick. The second pick would also be fine.
Basically, the future of the Milwaukee Bucks could be decided by ping pong ball. I really think this is a make or break event for the entire franchise. The Senator wants a new arena, public support for the Bucks is apathetic, thus the long term future of the Bucks in Milwaukee seems shaky at best. A Greg Oden or Kevin Durant would immediately make the Bucks matter. "Now playing...your 2010 Las Vegas Bucks!!!"

Westward Ho!

The Crew start a 6 game SoCal trip to LA and San Diego: "Drink it in." It's Soupy vs Brett Tomko in game 1. I had no idea Bett Tomko still pitched. As of the middle of the second:

• The Glue with 4 "obviously's" in the pregame interview.
• I like the revised lineup of: Weeks, Gwynn, JJ, Prince 1-4. Two speed guys before the mashers who can hopefully get on base in front of the unconscious JJ.
• Prince just destroyed the baseball to right center....just moosed it.
• Jeff Kent update: yep, still has the porn stache.

Ireland Part II

Top five stories from the Ireland trip (as of Monday):

1. Pitchforks on fire. The political process in Ireland is top notch.

2. We're bringing Sexy Back. Ireland appears to approve with an overhead hand clap.


He lives in Ireland. Or at least frequents the dance clubs here.



3. The Glue with 5 RBIs on Sunday. The twelvesome approved. Attanasio style, via Blackberry during dinner.



4. Little known fact. Fajitas were invented in Ireland. Goes down great with a Corona.



5. Steve Beurlein and Trent Dilfer (yes, Trent Dilfer) have played the same courses as us two consecutive days. Doug C. outdrove Trent today - although Trent was playing from the tips. Dilfer appears to still be on steroids. Beurlein, not so much.

Honorable mention:


Although Ireland is known for their Guiness, you might not know that you can find a fine spritzer in this great land. Try a West Coast Cooler if you ever find yourself in Killarney.




Golf? Don't want to talk about it. I did break 100.

RBI Baseball Was Sweet!

Today's trivia? When Roger Clemens returns to the Yankees, he will be only the second player from RBI Baseball still active. Name the other? Find the answer here.

Also, check out this funny site. You die-hards will find the Glossary page quite hilarious.

Ballpark Review: Fox Cities Stadium

Because I'm a loser, I've set the bar at 100 major/minor league stadiums to visit before I kick the bucket. This weekend it was your Wisconsin Timberatlers (11-29!) taking on the Lansing Lugnuts. If those team names don't scream "Minor League Baseball," nothing will. This pushes my ballpark count up to around 20. Here's the review (the other 19 reviews may follow, someday):

Stadium: Fox Cities Stadium - Appleton, WI

Team: Wisconsin Timberattlers. Single A, Midwest league. Seattle Affiliate

Built: 1994

Stadium Rank: 4 out of 5. The stadium itself was pretty solid: new, fresh and clean. Looks nothing like a ballpark from the outside. A few box seats around the plate with plenty of general admission bleachers and grass seats all around. It seats about 5,000. The outfield wall was an abomination with so many ads you could barley see the scoreboard. Welcome to the Midwest League, my friends! The whole yard was painted maroon instead of the "baseball green" in most new places...this was a refreshing touch. Miller Park has so much of that, it's almost nauseating.

Atmosphere: 3.5 out of 5. Despite the threat of rain, there was a healthy crowd...I would say about 90% full. The wacky PA guy was over the top. As were the sound bites. I'm all for a little interaction, but this was a too much. Him yelling "Timberrrrrrr-ratlers" over and over was really annoying. Conversely, the peanut vendor (who went at least 6-3, 275 lbs) screaming "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENUUUUUUUUUUUTS" was pretty funny.

Bonus/Subtractions:

• A large beer selection. I like to check out a local brew whenever possible. The Fox River Brewing's Scottish Ale is HIGHLY recommend. I just hope it doen't use water from the Fox river. Add 1
• The beer was huge! I thought the large was pricey ($6.75), until I got it. There was enough beer to float a battleship...or get me warm and fuzzy, one of the two. Add 1.
• The only player name worth mentioning was Andy Hargrove, son of M's manager Mike. This guy sucks, buy the way. He checks in at 6-4, 250...at least. Minus 1.
• The standard (fill in the blank) race was performed by 3 different Scott paper products: Napkins, Toilet Paper, and Hand Towels. Lame. Minus 1.
• Because of said sponsor, we got a free roll of ass-wipe as we left the yard. Add 1.
• We had to pay for parking ($3)...at a minor league game? Never had to do that before. Minus .5
• Plenty of things to do if you happen to have a 22 month old son with an attention span of 11.6 seconds...don't know who has one of those, I'm just saying. Add .5
• The game itself was pretty poor. Here was Rattlers SP's line before a single out was recorded: walk, walk, walk, wild pitch, walk, single off the wall to deep center (the longest single in the history of baseball), walk. Outstanding! Even worse, the guy's a Wisconsin native. Ouch. Minus 1

So there it is: Stadium got a 4, Atmosphere a 3.5 and it's a push for miscellaneous stuff.

Overall: 7.5 out of 10. Good times, I would easily go again.

Cincinnati Bengals, Role Models

If you thought the start of minicamps would signal the beginning of football season, you would be wrong. The real way to kick off any NFL season would be an arrest by a Cincinnati Bengal. Linebacker AJ Nicholson completed the triple crown of thuggery by adding a domestic abuse arrest to his previous burglary and grand theft charges. Good job AJ!

Ireland Part I

Judging from my one day in Ireland so far, it is clear that Brewers fever has swept this great country. Well, since I'm traveling with 12 people from Wisconsin, and I haven't actually spoken with anyone from Ireland yet (except to say 2 powerful words - 'Guiness please'), I guess it's more accurate to say that Brewers fever has lightly infected our traveling party.

It appears that Milwaukee got 'Boofed' on Friday in the retro unis and then did their usual disappearing act against a young pitcher on Saturday. We were going to try to watch the game on the MLB gamecast on Saturday night but the inn's computer told me I had to be an Administrator to plug in Flash Player. Whatever that means. Foiled.

So we're stuck looking at scores on my Blackberry. Attanasio style.

More on this trip later. Day 1 of golf was brutal. How brutal? I don't want to talk about it.

Mr. Man U. Facture

Have you herd of me? Mr. Man U. Facture? Once again, 2 measly runs. This is frustrating. Yeah, this might be the "tough stretch" of the schedule, but we are getting waxed by the Phills and Twins who both came in 4 games UNDER .500 (I think).

In the paraphrased words of Bubba Sparxx: "This is the Crew, so take a picture of me....cause we are F-in chokers, and this is gettin' UGLY."

Just got back from a Timberrattlers game in Appleton. A full report will be forthcoming.

Chicks Dig the Long Ball

The Brewers ride Benny Sheets and a couple of Gabe Gross solo bombs to beat the Phillburts 3-2. Who proposed trading Gross? Oh, that was me. I cringed when I saw our 7-2 hitters yesterday: Gross, Graffy, Sheets, Gwynn, and Counsell. Yikes! Oh well, it worked anyway.

The Twinkies limp into town with a MASH unit and no Johan to worry about...he pitched last night. As mentioned on an earlier comment, the Crew have been lucky in missing Glavine and Maine vs the Mets, Ryan Howard vs Philly, and now they miss Santana and Mauer. Oh, and Joe Nathan is ill. Hopefully it's highly contagious and the entire team gets the skitters this weekend. I miss Fatthew LeCroy. Could you imagine him chugging round the bases while trying to hold in some Hershey squirts? LOL.

Finally, a disturbing pic from A-Train. Remember Carrot Top? Here's a recent pic..WTF happened to this guy? I can't even comment on this...wrong on so many levels.

S.O.S.

The Brewers are currently taking on water. Soup was the big money guy brought in to stop the bleeding, but couldn't. Obviously, it's not all his fault. Once again the lineup couldn’t muster anything worth a damn. You will probably get sick of hearing this, but I don't give a crap and it will be written over and over and over....thank God we are in cesspool know as the NL Central. Then again, don’t look now but Housty is playing well.

Randomness:

The only two things funny about "PacMan" Jones and "Tank" Johnson are their real first names. It's actually Adam Jones! Name one other black guy named Adam. I challenge you. Dunn, Morrison, Keefe, Timmerman, LaRoche...all white. As for Tank...guess what his first name is. Let's see, a 6'-3", 300 pound defensive tackle born in Gary, Indiana with enough weaponry to start his own militia.....how about Terry! Terry? He seems like more of a Leon or Jamal than a Terry. No offense to any Leons or Jamals reading this.

The Onion is funny. Favre demands trade...to the 1996 Packers.

Ex-Brewer gas can Dan Kolb collects Trans Ams. Personally, I always pictured him as more of a Camero guy.

I parrot Goldy's well wishes to those loyal Hacks readers jumping on the big bird and heading to Ireland. Stay away from too many sand traps and pints of Guinness. If anyone is capable of journaling a week long running diary, it's you McManus. I'm giddy in anticipation. Oh yeah because he is overseas, and Goldy is swamped at work (I.E. lazy)...I'll be piloting this ship solo for the next week. Hopefully not into a large iceberg in the North Atlantic.

Goldy's Weekly Takes

Welcome to an abbreviated Goldy's Weekly Takes. Thanks to work training and home loan fun, this will be shorter than usual.

Ugh. 1-4 since I last talked to you on Thursday. Not good times, but amazingly, not the end of the world. The Brewers only got smoked in one of the games and could easily be 4-1 on this trip, or 0-5. It's good to see that the team is still playing hard to the end, as evident in last night's game and the 5-4 loss to the Mets. Previous Brewers' teams would just close up shop.

I have found out that Brewers losses, especially ones they piss away, agitate me. I had this feeling after the All-Star break last season when Turnbow blew a couple against the Reds. That led to my Brewers boycott. I made sure I didn't catch the score while the game was going on. Much easier to do in Minnesota. The thing that is scary about Turnbow right now is that his slider is just gone and that is what killed him last year. Any Major League hitter can nail a 96 mph fastball when they now it is coming. He needs to get that slider back, pronto.

As I mentioned in my last two weekly takes, I think this team is becoming too dependant on the long ball. Outside of the impressive 2-run sac fly pop up to the 2nd baseman, manufacturing of runs has not been a strong suite since the start of the Pirates series. Heck, they only time they manufacture runs, Tony Gwynn Jr. is usually involved. Look at last nights game. 3-runs. 2 on homers and 1 on a dropped fly ball. Since the start of the National series, if you exclude the 12-4 win over the Mets, 20 of the Brewers past 26 runs have scored via the long ball.

The team really needs to pick it up. I think Gwynn will see alot more time. I love this guy, but I am not ready to hand him an outfield spot yet. He needs to produce over a little longer time span.

Other quick thoughts:

• Maxim named Lindsay Lohan as the hottest person around. Say What? Yah maybe a few years ago when she was 17 that would have been plausible. But c'mon, not Jessica Biel or Scarlet Johansson? In the not as popular division, what about the chick from the Mercury commercials. She is hot. Also, the chick from the Snorg Tees ad on Deadspin. Nothing wrong with her in my book.
• Yah, I have given up on the NBA for this season. Hopefully the Bucks can get the #1 or 2 pick. That would revive my interest.
• Brett Favre can go eat a big one. I am sick of his crap. I understand that he is at the end of his career and would like some real NFL caliber offensive players to work with, but his bitching and whole retirement deal over the past few years is wearing thin. In terms of the team itself, I don't care if he is traded. However, I don't think I could fathom seeing him in another uniform.
• My dog loves the new White Stripes song. About the only song on the radio that gets her attention and causes her to bark. Good Times. I am also pretty convinced that the White Stripes could do a Roxette cover album and I would buy it. Translation: I like the White Stripes.
• Bust of luck to the loyal readers playing golf in Ireland.
• When I talk to you in a week, the Brewers will have gone 5-3 over that time

'til next time........ "My man MCA got a beard like a billy goat"

Ouch

"Good evening passengers, my name is Derrick Turnbow and will be piloting this craft into Philadelphia..."

Turnbow is slowly but surly rounding into last year’s post All-Star break form. For the second straight night D-Bow went Hindenburg and tried to burn the stadium down. He only gave up one run but his 50 foot breaking balls in the 8th were also cause for concern.

As for the offense…we are currently doing less manufacturing than a Detroit auto plant. It’s bombs or nothing lately. Craig Counsell is terrible. He brings nothing to the table except the occasional walk. I thought he was a spray hitter. Hell, the other team's 4 infielders might as well just stand on first base….that’s ALL he does is little dribblers down the 1B line. Junk….

…to correct the offensive mess, here’s my proposal:

• Trade Gross for a prospect. Any prospect. A case of Pabst...anything. That would still leave 5 outfielders, and plenty of lefty sticks off the bench.
• Bring up Braun. Yeah, you knew this was coming. He would take Gross’ roster spot. Start him at 3rd nearly every day and see what happens. Can't be worse than Counsinino.
• Start Gwynn in RF. McManus actually asked for this in the off season...good call. Bat him leadoff. He can get on base and has wheels. Mench is taking on water and Hart has the wrist issue. You can still platoon those guys in RF and LF when you want.
• Drop Rick down in the order. I’m the biggest Weeks fan around, but its time to drop him in the order till he finds his stroke.
  
  Thus, here’s my new lineup (almost every day):
  Gwynn, RF
  Hardy, SS
  Prince, 1B
  Hall, CF
  Estrada, C
  Jenks, LF
  Braun, 3B
  Weeks, 2B
  
  A little too early to panic? Yes, but I wouldn’t consider these “panic” moves.

Also, do yourself a favor and check out “The Life of Zeus” blog. It was started by a loyal Hacks reader and it’s some funny sh!t.

One Last Thought About Last Night

My biggest fear about last night's game? That this outing will throw Turnbow into another free fall that will end with:

1. an 8+ ERA;
2. offseason therapy sessions with a sports psychologist; and
3. about 10,000 splitters thrown in Arizona, trying to learn how to throw that pitch again.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope Turnbow continues to dominate. But doesn't it just make you wonder?

Bunch of Freakin' Rock Stars

Chuckie Hacks recently received a record number of hits following Deadspin putting a link on their site to Chopp's John Kruk post. As a service to our 8 loyal readers and any other people stopping by, I thought it was high time to let you, the reader, know what the brains behind Chuckie Hacks really looks like. I'll start with myself and leave it up to you to figure out which one of the two is me.

Goldy

Next will go with Chopp. Definitely looks like a guy who went to a D-III school and will stick up for his "small market" brethren.

Chopp

Finally we get to McManus. Man can that guy rock out!

McManus

Hope you enjoyed this look at the Chuckie Hacks team!

Old School Nintendo

I, for one, spent waaaay too much of my childhood on these: CNNSI.com's list of the top 5 Nintendo sports games. Substitute "Ice Hockey" with "Blades of Steel" and the list would be even better. You can't stop the two headed monster that is Chrisian Okoye and Barry Word!

Also: Tom Verducci with a good piece on the Brewers, even its the 84th time I've seen an article entitled: "Somthing's Brewin'"

More Wisdom From Brewer Fans

From a MLB.com mailbag:

Do you think there is the possibility of a J.J. Hardy trade sometime this year? With Tony Gwynn, Jr. apparently ready to be a starter and possible leadoff man, and Bill Hall struggling in center, isn't it possible that they may want to move Hall back to short and see what the market value is for Hardy? -- Dale E., Plainfield, Ill.

Yeah...like Melvin's gonna trade JJ. WTF???? While we're at it, let's trade Prince for Jack Cust, he's on fire! At least the guy was from Illinois, so he has an excuse.

Huh?

I wasn't able to watch that debacle (I was unavoidably detained, as Karl Spackler might say). Maybe somebody can explain a couple of things to me:

1. How was Turnbow allowed to give up 6 runs in an inning (I know only 4 were his responsibility, but come on). Coco hadn't pitched in several days - why not throw him in there as Turnbow was yakking on that bone?

2. How on earth did we end up with Gabe Gross playing 3B?

That's probably the first time all season that they spit up a lead like that in the 8th, but come on. Should have been a W.

Wisconsin Football Preview

Brent Moss, role model

CollegeFootballNews.com (the best C-Football site around) just released their indepth Wisconsin preview. Don’t worry Cowboy fans, I’ll let you know when the Wyoming preview is out!

• Wisconsin Overview
• Offense
• Defense
• Depth Chart

Random Rumblings

Brewers. Losing 2 of 3 at NY isn’t the worst thing. The disappointing thing is they had the starting pitching advantage in all 3 matchups and couldn’t get it done. Also, I guess they’ve decided to stop manufacturing runs….just wait for JJ to hit a bomb, I guess.

Oakland A’s. Is Billy Beane a genius, or what? A mere 1 game out of first place…once again. They have the best starting pitching ERA in baseball with a bunch of guys named: Haren, Blanton, Guadin, and Kennedy. A competitive team with these guys…imagine if Beane had the Yankees payroll to play with? Because of cash reasons, look at the list of guys he’s had to replace over the past 5-7 years: Miggy Tejada, Barry Zito, Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon, Jason Isringhausen, Tim Hudson, Jermaine Dye, Frank Thomas, Mark Mulder, Ramon Hernandez, Keith Foulke, Aaron Harang, Ted Lilly, ….good Lord! Michael Lewis’ book Moneyball was a solid read, I’d recommend it.

NASCAR. I don’t mind NASCAR. Because I live about 7 miles from Kenseth’s hometown, it’s pretty much unavoidable around here. Anyway, so Little E is a free agent. What’s the big deal? Any time I turn on a race, they show the driver rankings...I’ve never seen the standings listed by racing team. Same with the newspaper…it never says Roush racing is in first, Hendrick is second…or whatever. It’s always: Gordon 1st, Kenseth 6th…and so on. Gear heads, please explain?

NBA. Caught my first bit of the NBA playoffs last night. Watched the 3rd quarter of Jazz-Warriors. Thoughts:

• When did AK-47 (great nickname) become “just a guy?” I thought he was like their best player?
• What’s with Matt Barnes? Dude, you look like a coloring book.
• Steven Jackson is clinically insane. Three different times he thought he got fouled, to no avail. If there was a handgun within reach, I swear he would have made it rain.
• When did the Jazz unis turn the color of windshield washer fluid?

Rubber Match

The Crew earned a chance to win the series vs the Metropolitans after busting open a tight game in the 8th inning (JJ for MVP?). 12 runs is a ton with Graffy AND Counsell in the lineup simultaneously...unless they go 4-8 and score 5 runs. Benny was not vintage Benny, but still got the job done. William Hall with 3 hits...it's nice to see his average climbing up a bit.

• Rubber match pitchers: Cappy (5-0, 2.31) vs Oliver Perez (3-3, 3.48)
• I saw a guy in the dugout who I swore was Councell...until he turned around and it said "Bat Boy, 99" on his jersey. Seriously, I thought the bat boy was Craiggers.
• Elmer Dessens is a POS.
• Gwynn's kid looks like a player. It would be nice to get him 200 at bats somehow...but that just won't happen this year.
• The Crew is now 8 games in first place. That speaks volumes for both the Brewers and the NL Central.
• Let's get tomorrows game then go, as Moses Malone would say: Fo, Fo, Fo vs Philly.

Worst Trade Suggestion Ever

Got to love Brewer fans sometimes. From the Jim Powell chat this morning comes the worst trade suggestion ever. I'm not even gonna comment on the readers second sentence...

Q: Steve of Milwaukee - Jim, you and Ueck do a great job. You guys make me hungry for Usinger's sausage. What do you think about trading Prince for Barry Bonds for the stretch run? I mean, a guy like Bonds could really put the Crew over the top. I bet Bernie would get tired from sliding so much!!!!

A: Jim Powell - Please don't make me ill right before lunch!

HA!!

From "We Should Be GM's" Phillies and Pirates blog.

Keeping Tabs

I’ve done the research, because I’m a loser so you don’t have to. Keeping up with recently traded/released Brewers:

Carlos Lee, Texas: .291, 6 HR, 32 RBI
Nelson Cruz, Texas: .195, 0 HR, 6 RBI, 77 ABs
Richie Sexson, Seattle: .165, 5 HR, 20 RBI
Lyle Overbay, Toronto: .240, 5 HR, 15 RBI
Jeff Cirillo, Minnesota: .227, 0 HR, 2 RBI, 22 ABs
Rusty Branyan, San Diego ("German for a whale's vagina"): .219, 1 HR, 9 Ks, 32 ABs
Dave Krynzel, Tuscon (AAA): .206, 0 SB, 2 CS, 34 ABs

I sure miss the Rusty Branyan days...

Doug Davis, Arizona: 2-3, 2.36 ERA, 42 IP
Dana Eveland, Arizona: 20.25 ERA, 1.3 IP
Jorge De La Rosa, Kansas City: 3-3, 4.06 ERA, 44 IP
Ben Hendrickson, Omaha (AAA): 2-3, 5.88 ERA, 33 IP
Daniel Kolb, Indianapolis (AAA): 1-0, 0.64 ERA, 3 Saves, 14 IP
Jeff Bennett, Richmond (AAA): 7.45 ERA, 9.2 IP....boy did I hate this guy
Joe Winklesas, Out of baseball

Brewers on Baseball Tonight

The ESPN Baseball Tonight "C" Team of Steve Berthiume, EY (aka Papa Smurf) and Tim Kirkjian (who I like) finished the show by interviewing The Glue, Capuano and Weeks at the ESPN Zone in NYC.

At one point Berthiume asked the group about the Pee Your Pants for the Brewers website that is up and running now. Specifically, he asked if any of the players would sign the pledge. Weeks and Cappy were quick to say no, but, as is his nature, The Glue stepped up and said that he had been through so much losing that he would probably pee his pants if the Brewers made the playoffs.

Man - he is The Glue. Peeing your pants hasn't been this cool since Billy Madison...

3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest. 3rd Grader: Really?
Billly Madison: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Nashville Sounds Box Score

Anybody notice anything strange in the latest Nashville Sounds Box score?

Brewers Off Day - Quick Hitters

With an off day today for the Brewers, let's step outside of the Brewers mania and take a look at what else is going on...

Item! The Golden State Warriors are down 0-2 in their series with the Utah Jazz after shocking the NBA by drubbing the Mavericks in round 1 of the Western Conference playoffs. You should all adopt the Warriors as your favorite NBA playoff team this year, because Larry Riley (former Bucks assistant and father of Port Washington HS graduate Ryan Riley) is assistant coach in Golden State. Keith, I know it will kill you not to root for your Jazz and Andrei Kirilenko (who, by the way, is looking more and more like a Russian mobster).

Item! Something happened involving the Dale Earnhardt that didn't drive his car directly into a wall. I skipped the story, so I don't have further information.

Item! The Badgers are listed by ESPN.com as the #1 most underrated basketball program of the last decade. Really? #1 on a list that also includes Southern Illinois, Utah State, Creighton and Xavier? Gee, thanks. Really, you shouldn't have. Morons.

Item! NBADraft.net's latest mock draft has Dom James going #50 to Dallas. Welcome back to Marquette, Dominic. 'Do Tucker is projected to go to Detroit at #27. Not that this means anything.

Item! Roger Clemens is returning to pitch for the NY Yankees. In an unrelated story, Kei Igawa, the Japanese import that the Yankees paid $46 million to get from Japan, was sent down to the minors. To Single A. That's like the Brewers sending Jeff Suppan down to Brevard County.

Bird/McHale Would Domminate Today's NBA

Not just on the court, I guess. Apparently, these two legends liked to lite up some hippy lettuce with none other than Johnny Mellencamp. Good times! Robert "The Chief" Parish was not available for comment.

What do you like more, Indy racing or basketball? stephen.persa, Burlington, VT

Well, my wife was the first female to drive the Indianapolis 500 pace car, which is pretty neat — particularly when you know that she can’t drive. But I’d definitely say basketball. I’ve known Larry Bird since we were kids. When he was on the Celtics and I was playing in Boston, he and Kevin McHale would come to my dressing room after the show and smoke me under the table.

Breaking News!

MILWAUKEE (AP) – After hours of research, authorities have identified source of the “mysterious item” left on the mound at Milwaukee’s Miller Park. The “long, tubular” item has been identified as the right arm of Milwaukee Brewer’s closer Francisco Cordero. Apparently, after pitching in a whopping six straight games, “CoCo’s” throwing arm just couldn’t take it any longer. “It felt a little sore, but I never imagined it would just fall off, “said Cordero. “I was so excited after the victory; I didn’t realize it was still on the mound?” Manager Ned Yost is currently looking for ways to replace the closers arm…preferably with one from a great left hander. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with Warren Spahn. His left arm is shot from all those years of pitching, but his right one is still fresh,” explained Yost. “I think they can just sew it on in a couple of hours these days." When notified that Spahn, the winningest southpaw of all time, died in 2003, Yost said: “Whatever…just make it happen. We have 13 straight games starting Friday, I need CoCo for at least 11 of those suckers!”

Brewer veteran Geoff Jenkins was asked how the temporary loss of Cordero will hurt Milwaukee’s momentum. “Obviously, CoCo is a big part of the team. He, obviously, has been obviously lights out. We will obviously miss his obvious talent, but we obviously are the kind of team that can obviously work through this. Obviously.”

Goldy's Weekly Takes

Hello all. I am sure all 8 of our readers were sorely disappointed with no Goldy's Weekly Takes column on Wednesday. (Note: Previous comment dripping with sarcasm) But do not fear. Order has been restored to the Chuckie Hacks world with the weekly takes showing up one day late. Now, on to the good stuff...

Since I last talked with you, the Brewers compiled a 7-1 record and a considerable buzz is surrounding the team as they head to the national hell hole known as New York. (Note: Garry Sheffield's national hell hole is Milwaukee, but I digress.) The team is playing very good, but I still get the impression they are not firing on all cylinders. I think the hitting was a little suspect during the Nationals series. A little too dependent on the long ball. I don't have a problem with the home runs, but I would have liked to see a more consistent offensive attack against the hapless Nationals. 9 of the 12 runs in the series came as a result of home runs. Honestly, I may be grasping at straws here. It's getting difficult to find things to knock about this team.

As was noted in any national article written about the Crew over the past few days, the meat of their schedule is the next three weeks. They did a great job going 9-1 at home against the dregs of the NL, but now they must go on the road and play some higher end teams. Do I expect more losses than we have seen over the past few weeks? Yes. Do I expect to see those 2-6 road trips of years past? No. As I mentioned last week, this team is set up to avoid the long losing streaks of the past. With 5 solid starters, any of the guys can be expected to pitch a great outing and stop any losing streak. I like that.

Yes, it is a heady time to be a Brewers fan. They are playing way better than I ever anticipated. Lets review a post I made when the Brewers were sitting at 3-4 and facing an abbreviated double header against the Marlins. http://wisconsinsportsblogs.blogspot.com/2007/04/this-brewers-season-will-not-go-well.html
Such great comments include:
-Well, 7 games and 10 innings into the season, I am here to say my predicted victory total for the Crew has dropped to the 68 - 72 win range.
-Their ability to get hits with runners in scoring position is just abysmal. That is not even the biggest problem with runners on. The team still is unable to advance runners with less than two outs. Strike outs and pop outs. Just some terrible looking at bats.
-At this point, I just don't see it with this team. It is the same fundamentally flawed brand of baseball the Brewers have trotted out the past few seasons and it is unacceptable.

Yah, I was wrong. I do think that taking both of those games against the Marlins was a huge turning point early in the season. The kids are playing well. The bullpen is way better than I would have ever imagined. Jenkins is holding his own. All sorts of good stuff. As I keep saying, its going to be a fun summer following the Brewers. Even better if I don't have to see Dessens or Spurling pitch at all. They are both turds.

On to some other thoughts:

• I don't know if it is the winning or the new announcer, but I think Bill Schroeder has stepped up his game this year.I like Anderson, but I don't think he has a wealth of baseball knowledge, forcing Bill to have to focus on general baseball knowledge and not being the dipshit he was in the past.


• About a month ago, I stated that Zack Greinke was looking good and could be a solid top end starter. Well, Greinke is sitting at 1-4 with a 5.71 ERA and has been demoted to the Royals 'pen. Odds of Zack ending up back at the funny farm in a few years? High. I am pretty sure that having to play for the Royals drove this man crazy. Hell, having to watch the Royals for 4 years drove me crazy.


• As the J-S Online pointed out yesterday (along with Chuckie Hacks fan Woziszeus) Hardy, Cappy, and Hall will appear on a future episode of The Young and the Restless. That should be good times. Reading about this on brewerfan.net, it mentioned that this show takes place in Genoa City, WI. Genoa City? About the only thing I know about Genoa City is that I played in several Little League tournaments out there and there was nothing the city. They must glam it up for tv. On brewerfan, it also mentioned that Robert Brooks appeared on the show the year the Pack won the Super Bowl. Could be some good mojo.


• Also, be sure to check out Baseball Tonight on ESPN2 at 10 tonight as they interview Cappy and The Glue.


• If you are ever feeling down about yourself or unhappy with your lot in life, I suggest a trip to the downtown Waukesha Walgreens. I have never seen a larger collection of degenerates in my entire life. And that is saying something considering I grew up in Racine. Seriously, it's a great boost to the self-esteem.


• I have really tried to watch the NBA playoffs, but it just isn't working for me this year. Maybe because the HD tv is in mothballs until we move into our home at the end of the month, but I just don't care this year. From what I have seen, Carlos Boozer looks like a superstar. Must make the people of Cleveland thrilled.


• I think we are going to have to retire Tone's Eazy-E line of the week. He just isn't pumping out the goods like I had hoped, plus, most Eazy lines are not fit to print and i don't want to go too overboard in this forum. Might throw one in from time to time just for shits and giggles.


• Your Rick Rickert update: Rick (Aka Pepe the King Prawn) just finished up his first season with the Colorado 14'ers of the D-League. That's right, the 14'ers. The 14'ers lost in the title game. A game in which Pepe dropped 9 points in 30 minutes of action. For the season, Pepe averaged 23 minutes per game, mostly off the bench, scoring a respectable 10 points per game. Pepe also averaged 6 boards a game. Even though he is 6'11", I don't recall Pepe ever really mixing it up inside. Must be a lot of long rebounds in the D-League. I'll try to provide another Pepe update this summer.


• Mench is quicly workling his way back to least favorite player on a team I like.


• And finally, this from today's J-S Online: "With the Packers, (Brandon) Jackson is in a situation similar to the one in which he found himself in Lincoln. Green is gone to Houston. Vernand Morency, Noah Herron, P.J. Pope, Arliss Beach and fellow rookie draft pick DeShawn Wynn are all vying for the starting running back spot with Jackson. " Wow, that is an impressive collection of crap. Best of luck with that
  

'til next time, "The whistle tips go WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"We're Streaking!!"

"Honey, do you think KFC is still open?"

The Brewers are streaking indeed, unfortunatly JJ's hit streak is over. 24-10!

Sweep the Nats!

I know we are in to the 3rd inning, but this needs to be put up.

Capuano Develops New Pitch

Chris Capuano, 5-0 on the young season, is relying on a new pitch to get batters out this year. At least, I've never heard of this pitch:

"It was weird having (Yost) there," Capuano said. "He was in the background watching, doing his commentary while we were throwing. He called one pitch I threw the 'Funky McNasty.' "

Funky McNasty, eh? Doesn't sound like a pitch. Sounds more like something deposited in the crapper after a trip to McDonald's...

I Had a Weird Dream Last Night

I had a dream last night.

I dreamed that it was May 8th, and the Brewers were 23-10 and lapping the field in the NL Central.

I dreamed that their big free agent signing, Jeff Suppan, was living up to every penny of his contract by notching 5 wins in the first 5 weeks of the season. Franklin Stubbs and Jeffrey Hammonds, he was not, at least in my dream.

I dreamed that Jerry James Hardy was hitting the cover off the baseball, hitting .341 with 9 home runs. It is May 8th.

I dreamed that Prince Fielder was second in the league in both home runs and RBIs.

I dreamed that Rickie Weeks was looking like Robbie Alomar over at second base, making every easy play and loads of tough plays as well.

I dreamed that Geoff Jenkins had a new nickname, The Glue.

I dreamed that The Glue and Kevin Bench were actually playing nice, and the outfield platoon that isn't a platoon has led to a highly productive left and right field spots in the lineup.

I dreamed that Johnny Estrada has made the catcher spot in the lineup more than an automatic out.

I dreamed that Ned Yost was pushing all of the right buttons.

I dreamed that Derrick Turnbow had a sub 2 ERA and was among the league leaders in strikeouts for relievers, and Francisco Cordero just gave up his first earned run of the season. On May 8th. I dreamed that he was, naturally, perfect in save chances this year and led the major leagues in saves.

I dreamed that the Brewers were winning despite the fact that Weeks, Hall and Sheets really hadn't gotten it going yet.

I dreamed that the Brewers were winning with a platoon at third base involving Craig Counsell and Tony Graffanino.

I dreamed that the Brewers had two of the top minor league prospects in baseball waiting in the wings in case of an injury to a pitcher or position player.

I just thought I'd share. It was really a weird dream.

Brewers Almost Signed Clemens...

....not quite. From MLB.com:

The Brewers indirectly got some good news Sunday when Roger Clemens announced he was returning to the Yankees in the American League East. Clemens had spent the last two years in the National League Central with the Astros.

Houston and Boston were also reportedly interested in Clemens. He signed a Minor League contract with the Yankees that will pay a prorated portion of $28 million in the Majors.

"We just missed," Brewers director of pro scouting Dick Groch said, "by $27 million."

Heading in Opposite Directions

This is my last Matt Capps/Prince Fielder post, I promise. But I thought it was funny to see that on the same day that Prince was named NL Player of the Week, Capps was suspended for 4 games for throwing at the Big Fella.

Hey - Capps:

Yes Indeed!

http://www.rightfieldbleachers.com/gear.html

Ryan Church, Cleanup Hitter?

The Brewers pick up a 3-0 whitewash vs the AAA Nationals last night as The Glue went yard and Cappy pitched great. Tell tale signs your team should be playing against International League teams rather than the NL East:

1. Ryan Church is batting cleanup


2. Dimitri Young and Christian Guzman are on your roster (let alone starting)


3. Shawn Hill, staff ace!


4. Quick, name their manager....can't do it.


5. Finally I bring you Screech, the Nats mascot. I'll save the Dustin Diamond jokes, but this is an appropriate name. I would screech too if my job was to get people excited about this abortion of a season.

"Everybody cheer....Brian Schnieder's at the plate!!"

Now he's an idiot too...

Remember me? I'm Ahmad Carroll

Not only is Ahmad Carroll a terrible football player, he's also a moron.

ESPN is a Fraud

This guy was a multiple time MLB all-star? Yikes.

You may or may not have caught John Kruk’s act on Baseball Tonight last week. In a Q/A session with the other hosts, Kruk answered “the Pirates” when asked “who will be leading the NL Central at the end of the month?” Whatever, just another ESPN guy trying to look smart if it actually comes true. Big deal, right? Wrong. A couple days later, Kruky was on “The D-List” radio show here in Madison (it might also be on in Milwaukee, not sure) to discuss his pick. Kruk admitted that he really wanted to pick Milwaukee as his answer. Apparently, the ESPN brass tried to stiff arm him into saying he thought the Yankees would be leading the AL East by June. Kruk refused, so they made him make one bold selection, thus the Pirates pick. And this was all admitted on the radio by Kruk!

You can’t tell me this doesn’t happen all the time. Sure, stirring up the pot for ratings sake is good for business. But why have ex players and coaches on if they can’t say what they really believe? Why not just have a bunch of 3 Wingos and John Andersons on there and say a bunch of nonsense? I grew up watching ESPN about 23 hours of the day, now I would rather slam my johnson with a sledgehammer than watch one hour of BooYahCenter. Bringing back Harold Reynolds would help…even if he likes to make inappropriate hugs at local Outback Steakhouses…..allegedly.

You Want News? Drink at the Brat Cabin!

Thanks to loyal reader Jason Popp for this story.

Aaron Rodgers...when he actually played.

Apparently Mr. Popp hasn’t let go of his college days as he's still a frequent reader of the “Spectator,” UWEC’s fine student newspaper. The latest issue included this: the Packers had a fan meet and greet in Eau Claire last week. Later that night, a few players made there way to, where else, Water Street. Nick Barnett, Mark Tauscher and Aaron Rodgers ended up doing shots at a certain establishment. Rodgers even started talking a little smack:

"When we got to The Pickle, (the players) were standing on the bar giving out shots and dancing," (UWEC Student) Marc Kalscheuer said.

"I talked to Aaron (Rodgers) quite a bit actually," he said. "He was a nice guy and we ended up doing a shot about (San Francisco 49er quarterback) Alex Smith sucking."

The Pickle is formerly known as The Brat Cabin…sound familiar? Who could forget this Chuckie Hacks gem? I guess all the news that is news starts at the Brat.

Don't Piss Prince Off

Pirates reliever Matt Capps had a bad day yesterday. He gave up 2 earned without recording an out by giving up a 2-run shot by JJ Hardy in the Pirates' 6-3 loss.

Then, he made things worse.

Deciding that the best thing to do with the game slipping away for the Pirates was to bean the next batter, Capps unwittingly sealed the fate of his team for Sunday as well. He hit Prince Fielder in the upper shoulder (it would have hit him in the head if Prince didn't throw his shoulder up and deflect the ball), got himself ejected, and pissed off the best hitter on the Brewers in the process.

Rather than charge the mound last night, Prince took out his emotions on the Pirates today, hitting two bombs and scoring the winning run on a nifty slide around Ryan Doumit. The poor mope on the mound for this game-winning hit? You guessed it, Matt Capps. And Prince made sure Capps knew he was there, jumping up and down and clearly screaming "Yeah Mother!##@@" at Capps after scoring the winning run. He also stared Capps down as he entered the game from the bullpen while Prince was standing on second base.

Doumit wasn't impressed.

"It was a nice slide," he said. "My hat is off to him, but I think that's pretty bush league what he did afterwards."

-

Oh. Thanks for clearing that up Ryan. See, I thought it was bush league to throw at a guy's head, but what do I know? I'm not a part-time catcher on a 13-17 team.

.

Suck it Capps

JJ / Brewers Keep Rollin'

Yount doing his best JJ Hardy impersonation

JJ keeps mashing (.333, 8 bombs, 26 steaks if scoring at home). This guy is unbelievable! We all knew about his great glove, but he's putting a charge into every ball he hits. Even his outs are ropes. In my preseason Brewer SS breakdown I begged the question: "is JJ the next Barry Larkin or Rey Sanchez?" Heck, screw Larkin, is this guy the next Robin Friggin Yount? Sorry, may have gotten a little carried away there. Anyway, he's well on his way to a berth in this year's All-Star game.

As for Saturday night's matchup, it wasn't exactly your standard 6-3 ballgame:

• The Buccos ran the bases like the local Pizza Hut sponsored little league squad by getting hung up between 3rd and home...twice.
• Adam LaRoche (.141 batting average) got 3 hits.
• Rickie flashed some nice leather.
• Brewer killer Jose Bautista went 0-4.
• Some Capps guy challanged Prince Fielder of all people by nearly dotting him in the mellon.
• and CoCo got the save...on one pitch.

Odd indeed, but 20-10 nonetheless!

"Jenks" No More

Not sure why I wasn't aware of this, but it seems that Jenks has himself a nickname. Even better, he gave it to himself (sort of). As you know, nicknaming oneself isn't always easy to pull off (see: George Costanza and "T-Bone").

His nickname? "the Glue".

As told by Luke Winn of SI.com, in 2003, Jenks told Rickie and Prince the following during Spring Training, as the two future stars were headed down to AA:

"I'm going to be the glue that holds things together. I'll be here, waiting for you guys to come up."

Naturally, now Prince and Rickie call Jenks The Glue. That's outstanding. I'm done calling him Jenks - it's The Glue from now on. I suggest you all do the same. I'll start:

The Glue did not play last night as the Brewers pounded the Pirates 10-0.

I like it.