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MILWAUKEE (AP) – After hours of research, authorities have identified source of the “mysterious item” left on the mound at Milwaukee’s Miller Park. The “long, tubular” item has been identified as the right arm of Milwaukee Brewer’s closer Francisco Cordero. Apparently, after pitching in a whopping six straight games, “CoCo’s” throwing arm just couldn’t take it any longer. “It felt a little sore, but I never imagined it would just fall off, “said Cordero. “I was so excited after the victory; I didn’t realize it was still on the mound?” Manager Ned Yost is currently looking for ways to replace the closers arm…preferably with one from a great left hander. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with Warren Spahn. His left arm is shot from all those years of pitching, but his right one is still fresh,” explained Yost. “I think they can just sew it on in a couple of hours these days." When notified that Spahn, the winningest southpaw of all time, died in 2003, Yost said: “Whatever…just make it happen. We have 13 straight games starting Friday, I need CoCo for at least 11 of those suckers!”

Brewer veteran Geoff Jenkins was asked how the temporary loss of Cordero will hurt Milwaukee’s momentum. “Obviously, CoCo is a big part of the team. He, obviously, has been obviously lights out. We will obviously miss his obvious talent, but we obviously are the kind of team that can obviously work through this. Obviously.”