Goldy's Random Takes

A random picture of Danzig. Why not?

• Nice knowing you Ryan Grant. Grant managed to turn large holes into 4 yard gains the entire first half. A decent RB would have had 100 yards in the first half with the kind of blocking Grant was getting.
• Season on the line and John Kuhn is the man who needs to make a play for us.
• Outside of Mason Crosby, special teams was a joke the entire day. The only times Carolina didn't have a big return on kickoffs was when Crosby nailed it into the end zone. Plus, the Packers special teams coach is a complete jackass.
• Derrick Frost = Fail. What a JAG.
• Was in Vegas a few weeks back. Here are my random celebrity sightings. Pete Rose, Kenny Stabler, Wanda Sykes, and Steve Levy from ESPN who sat at the blackjack table next to us and instantly had them move the table minimum from $25 to $100. OK, big shooter.
• I know I have seen Wanda Sykes in plenty of things, but outside of a couple episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" I couldn't tell you what. I do know she currently has a monopoly on the "angry black woman in a comedy role" market.
  
• Won most of my money in Vegas betting on the NBA. Some of those lines were just stupid. I swear they put those out there just to get some action on the games.
• Not sold on the Badgers basketball team yet. I think they will have as many losses this year as the last two years combined. That would still only be like 9 losses. However, the Big Ten could be truly awful this year, so I reserve the right to amend that statement.
• As Tony has pointed out, the D just isn't there this year. Too much reaching. The guys just don't look quick enough to hang with their guy.
  
• As with any Bo Ryan team, the Badgers will get better as the season goes on. I am thinking 3rd in the Big Ten and a 7 or 8 seed.
• They could be good in two years. Lot of young guys getting PT right now.
  
• Marquette lost to Dayton. Good for them.
  
• I stopped at Costco yesterday to see if it would be worth it to get a membership. The 18 cans of Guinness for $20 sold me. The 8 packs of toothbrushes also sold me. What 2-person family doesn't need to purchase 8 toothbrushes at a time?
• The Kansas-Missouri football game was awesome. The 4th Quarter was something. Mizzou's D rivals the Badgers for sheer craptitude. Great back and forth game with guys making huge plays in the clutch.
• Speaking of plays in the clutch, based on the way the season has gone, was there any doubt the Panthers would score a TD?
• I am thinking of starting a new series on Chuckie Hacks. "Random free BMG CD selected during my college years". It has nothing to do with sports, but has potential to entertain.
• Went out in Racine Wednesday night. Good Times. Especially when you hang out at a bar called the "Brass Monkey". They played some requested Eazy-E for us.
• Feel bad for the Bucks this season. The Redd and Bogut injuries have been killers. The one think I like about this team is that unlike previous years, the battle all the way til the end. The get in the games in the 4th, they just can't get over the top.
• Sessions could be the real deal. Like Mo, he can score, but unlike Mo, he can get others involved.
  
• Ha-ha Texas.
• Gallardo will win more games in 2009 than the highest victory total Sheets ever reached, which I believe is 13.
  
• The Brewers need to make sure Shouse is on the roster in 2009.
• I kind of miss Crank Yankers. Yah, I wanna go to Hawaii!
• Ha-ha Charlie Weiss. You are truly a turd. This reminds me of one of my all-time favorite shirts I do not own.
• Seriously, season on the line. John Kuhn.
  

A Textbook Last Minute Loss

I caught the last 2 minutes or so of the pathetic Packers game today. Wow, that team is garbage.

.

They did everything in their power to lose the game at the end:

.

- Unable to punch it in from the 1-yard line late in a game, instead settling for a FG? Check.

.

- Unable to cover a kickoff? Check.

.

- Unable to keep noodle-armed QB Jake Delhomme from throwing deep on them? Check.

.

- Unable to move the ball in the 2-minute drill, down 4 points with 2 time outs left? Check.

.

By the way, star QB Aaron Rodgers and his $13 million salary this year is now 1-4 in games decided by 6 points or less this season. Since 1999, Brett Favre is 34-23 in that situation, a .596 winning percentage. I'd go back farther for Favre, but I couldn't find the statistics. This is obviously crude statistical analysis, but if you apply Favre's winning % in close games over the past decade to those 5 games this year, the Packers pick up 2 more wins this year.

.

But by all means, keep it up Ted, you're doing just a super job. I will now go back to not caring about the Packers.

What If I Dressed Up as a Turkey?

In honor of Thanksgiving, I give you this story from California, where kindergarten students will no longer dress up as Pilgrims and Native Americans when they have their Thanksgiving feast.

"It's demeaning," Michelle Raheja, the mother of a kindergartner at Condit Elementary School, wrote to her daughter's teacher. "I'm sure you can appreciate the inappropriateness of asking children to dress up like slaves (and kind slave masters), or Jews (and friendly Nazis), or members of any other racial minority group who has struggled in our nation's history."

I remember creating a construction paper headband with feathers around Thanksgiving in grade school. Probably more than once. Somehow, I grew up to be a (somewhat) mature, contributing member of a decent society able to celebrate the diversity of our great land.

Yet another example of adults sucking the fun out of life, this time using 5-year olds in order to do it.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

No Postseason Ban? Super Duper!

The NCAA handed down its sanctions against Indiana University and its men's basketball team today. Everyone seems to think it's a big deal that the sanctions did not include a postseason ban in 2008-09.

Um, have you seen Indiana play this year? Me neither, but they're 2-2 after just getting creamed by Notre Dame and Saint Joseph's by 38 and 26 points, respectively.

I think this is kind of like not imposing a 2008 postseason ban on Indiana's 3-9 football team.

Weekly Bucks Report!

The Weekly Bucks Report is posted generally every Tuesday during Bucks season right here at Chuckie Hacks (sometimes later in the day if Woz gets back and has to sleep off two nights of New Orleans nightlife). It is written by a man known only as Two Name, a man Woz personally would have liked to have seen in the Packers defensive backfield last night.

By the time the Milwaukee Bucks and Cleveland Cavaliers leave the court Saturday night after their Central Division contest at the Bradley Center, the Bucks will have played 19 games in the first 34 days of the season.
During that stretch, 16 of those games will have come on back-to-to back nights, which is not easy in the NBA, especially when the opposing team is coming off a day of rest. And by the way, 12 of the first 18 games will have come on the road. The Bucks are battling this tough schedule without a full complement of players, including their only pure shooter on the roster, which changes how teams defend Milwaukee.
“I’m proud of our guys right now,” GM John Hammond said recently on WSSP. “I’ll put our schedule down – no question whatsoever – against anybody’s in the league right now. What we’ve had to go through this early in the season has been a monster and it’s going to continue to be for the next couple weeks or so.”
All that being said, the Bucks have been hovering around .500 for most of the season. If they can survive another few weeks of this road-heavy slate of games, the Bucks could position themselves within reach of the playoffs.
That might be too much to ask at this point, but remember how young and inexperienced this squad is right now. The invaluable experience of playing and winning some of these road games – albeit against shoddy opponents – can only benefit a team that will be playing much of the second half of the season at home. Plus, if the Bucks continue to play hard and earn the respect of the fans, people eventually will come to the BC and create a decent home-court advantage. (I even have a hard time believing this one, but the Bucks are giving tickets away, and Milwaukee fans love hard-working teams).

No mercy: Here’s another reason why I love Scott Skiles. After playing their worst game of the season in Denver on Tuesday, Skiles had his players come to an early shootaround in Utah before playing the Jazz Wednesday night. West coast trips suck in the first place for teams in the Midwest and on the East Coast, and back-to-backs in the Pacific Time Zone are grueling. So how about throwing a small practice in the mix to show how pissed you are about the previous night’s performance? Imagine Terry Stotts pulling this move? Larry K? They didn’t have the balls or the clout with their players. Skiles does, and his team responded with a strong effort in Utah – Bucks blew a 10-point lead in the fourth quarter to lose, but the coach made his point.

Changing point: When will Ramon Sessions start at point guard? The second-year guard, though it’s his first full season with the big boys, is averaging 15 ppg, 3.7 rpg and 5.6 apg. Luke Ridnour is averaging 10.8 ppg, 4.1 rpg and 5.5 apg, so the numbers are similar outside of the scoring. But Sessions brings another level of speed and athleticism to the floor. Slow starts are too tough to overcome for offensively challenged teams, so Sessions would be nice to have on the court from the opening tip. Then again, his energy is a welcome sight off the bench, so I’m happy as long as the Razor is logging big-time minutes.

Player of the week: Nobody clearly stood out this week, but after struggling through a 2-point, 3-rebound performance against the Nuggets on Tuesday, Andrew Bogut roared back with three straight double-doubles. He averaged 14 points and 18 rebounds in those games, and his points would be elevated if he could make a free throw once in his life.

This week: After playing in Orlando last night, the Bucks continue their road trip in Hotlanta and Detroit before coming home to play the Cavs on Saturday. Mike Redd might return for the Cleveland game, and I see the Bucks coming away with a big victory in front of what should be a decent atmosphere at the BC with LeBron in town

Editor's follow up note: Two Name...how has there been no mention of Austin Croshere so far?! Didn't he put up like 18 this past week? How was he not player of the week?

It's Really Not That Hard - See

President-elect Obama called me to lead his newly created College Football Playoff Committee. The goal: Create a college football playoff system that still keeps the morons administrators who like the current bowl system happy. I gladly accepted.

If your conference has a championship game, fine. Keep it. If it doesn't, that's fine too.

16 team playoff. I wanted to do 12 and give the top 4 seeds a bye, but 16 would pile more money into the NCAA. They like money.

6 Automatic Bids (Conference Champs) from each of the BCS conferences
2 Automatic bids to the two best non-BCS conference teams
8 At larges

We can use that stupid BCS Commodore 64 to figure out the 2 best non-BCS teams and 8 at-larges. If you want stipulations like: a max of 3 teams from one conference or teams from the same conference can't play in the first round...I’m flexible. Surly #17, 18, and 19 will be pissed. Yeah, well so is #65 in hoops. There will always be bickering.

First Round (8 Games - Dec 12th - 13th): At home sites of the higher seed.
These tickets would sell out faster than you can say "Butler By'note." A couple games on Friday night, the rest Saturday. I even threw in an off week after round one so the "student-athletes" can study for finals. Because, as we know, the NCAA's biggest concern is the students. Yeah, right.

Second Round (4 Games - Dec 27th ): Gator#, Holiday#, Cotton#, Sugar*
Here's where you start incorporating the bowls. Other second tier bowls (Outback, Capital One) will want a piece of the pie. Fine; they can rotate with the bowls noted with one of these things next to them #. Worried about selling tickets? Then regionalize some games. Put a Pac-10 team in the Holiday Bowl site. Put a SEC team in the Gator. The Big-11 would get screwed because there's zero worthwhile bowls up north. Another solution - move the Outback and Capital One (the two second tier bowls with little history/tradition) to the domes in Indy, St. Louis, or Detroit once in a while. Would the Outback Bowl people really care if it's bowl game is in Indianapolis in 2016? Of course, all these sites would be predetermined years in advance, like in Hoops.

Honestly, when's the last time you watched the Cotton Bowl? Who even played in last years Cotton? (Mizzu 38, Arkansas 7, by the way) Look, I'm sure it will be another memorable game this January...yawn. But how much more intriguing would the Cotton Bowl be if the winner advanced to the National Semi-Finals? Would you watch now? Hell yeah! The exposure and attention would triple. At least! In years when certain second tier bowls are not part of the playoffs, play them like they do now. Go ahead.

Semi-Finals (2 Games - New Years Day): Fiesta*, Orange*

Championship (Jan 8th): Rose*

The four Big Guns with asterisks (Sugar, Rose, Fiesta, Orange) will rotate every 4 years. Thus, like they do now, each of these bowls will host the championship game every 4th year. I can already hear the bitching from the Pac-10 offices. They seem to enjoy the antiquated tradition of Big-11 vs Pac-10 in the Rose Bowl every year. Their soft spot for us in the Upper Midwest is appreciated, but it’s time to move on. The string was already broken with Texas playing in the Rose in 2005 and 2006. Is anybody really exited for this year's Rose? Penn St is in. If Oregon State beats Oregon, we have a rematch of a week 3 meeting: Penn St 45, Oregon St 14. Yippee!! If the Beavers lose, USC is in. Do we really want to see USC bitch slap another Big-11 school? Click here, here, here, here, and here for a refresher course.

Regular Season Diminished?
Here's the big one: "This would diminish the regular season." Not really. These teams would still be fighting for conference titles, rivalry games, BCS positions, NFL draftablility, and that first round home game. And the thought that "ever game matters now" is a farce. Last year, LSU lost to unranked Kentucky and Arkansas. Didn't matter - they played in the championship game anyway. I understand monumental losses like Pitt knocking West Virginia out of the national title game last year in week 12 would be gone. But, did you watch that game? I didn't. The trade off is worth it.

What about the other bowls?
Go ahead, play 'em. You can still have your Horseshit.com bowls where 7-5 Minnesota can collect a fat check, take their squad on a vacation, and the head coach can tell recruits "come to Minnesota, we go to bowls."

Recap:
The old schoolers still get their bowls. The fat cats stuff their wallets. They can still use their bullshit computers. The Apathy.com bowls will continue to please the 6-6 teams of the world. There is still a huge party on New Years Day. And we will finally see what most people want - a real ending to the college football season.

Everybody happy? Yeah? Great. Now lets line 'em up and play some Goddamn football!

Seeds as of Today....straight from the BCS with Cincinnati and FSU added 15 and 16 because the ACC and Big East are devoid of any top 16 teams.

1) Alabama - SEC Champ
2) Texas - Big 12 Champ
3) Oklahoma
4) Florida
5) USC -Pac 10 Champ
6) Utah
7) Texas Tech
8) Penn St - Big 11 Champ
9) Boise St
10) Ohio St
11) Georgia
12) Oklahoma St
13) Missouri
14) TCU
15) Cincinatti - Big East Champ
16) Florida St - ACC Champ


Bracket looks like this: Sorry it's crappy, a graphic designer I am not. The little turds in front of the top 8 seeds are the @ sign. As mentioned, the sites will rotate.




Now THAT’S change we can believe in, right Barack!!

Brad - Chuckie Hacks/President - College Football Playoff Committee

Turd Burger

Packers get killed. Badgers hang tight with #2 UConn until the last 10 minutes and UConn wins by 19. Bucks lose and Bogut hurts his knee. Tough day for Wisconsin sports.

Good Stuff

Sweet top 10 list over at the Brew Town Beat - Top 10 Worst Draft Picks in Wisconsin Sports History.

Also, they ask a good questions: "Why are the Brewers not resigning Shouse?"

DONT BEAT THE SAINTS!

We've got peanut butter on top of chocolate tonight....good on good. The Saints passing game vs the Packers secondary. Things I would like to see:

- Woodson matched up with Colston
- Limiting the Saints running game....no Reggie Bush to worry about
- A Mason Crosby 51 yard field goal
- AJ Hawk kill Jeremy Shockey
- Chuck with a hot start, to hopefully quiet the dome
- Big returns from Blackman...I smell at least one
- Clifton control Will Smith- More carries from Brandon Jackson
- A well executed screen pass. What happened to the screen pass!
- Trammy Williams with a pick-6 in front of his home folks

- An Aaron Kampman sack
- A drunken Woz running onto the field and taking out Brees' knee
- Of course, a win

Run, Johnny, Run

Because Badger fans and alumni Matt and Goldy refused to post about Badger football all year, I will.

Can someone please explain why PJ Hill continues to get more carries than Johnny Clay? Every time I watch, Clay seems faster, more explosive, makes better reads, and is generally a better running back. Am I wrong here? Yet, Hill always ends up with more carries. Why?

PJ Hill - 211 carries, 1021 yards, 4.8 ypc
Clay - 144 carries, 845 yards, 5.9 ypc

The bigger question deals with Bielema. The "Fire Bielema" chants are loud and clear in certain pockets of Madison. It's not that Bucky's lost games - an off year will happen - rather how they've lost. Badger fans are steamed they're losing because of mismanagement and coaching, rather than sheer lack of talent (they did return like 16 starters, 11 of them seniors). Bad clock management, dumb penalties, a bad QB decision to start the year, disorganization at times (see, OSU TD run), and a certain "softness" are the reasons for the disappointing year…and can all be a reflection of the coach.

What do you think of Bielema?

A) He's our guy for the long haul
B) If next year is 7-5, ax him
C) The program is getting worse, not better. Fire him now
D) This guy's a lunkhead, bring back Don Morton

Go Crazy, Calgary! Go Crazy!

Your Calgary Stampeders, or "Stamps" as they are called, beat the Montreal SomeWierdFrenchWord 22-16 for the Canadian Football League's Grey Cup. Ex-Bears scrub QB Henry Burris was the MVP. The only other guy I recognized was Burris' top WR and ex-Buckeye, Ken-Yon Rambo. Now there's a name that just sticks in your brain. Only saw the last 4 minutes, but it was actually pretty entertaining. I forgot the WRs can run up to the line before the snap, a la Arena football. It also took someone punting on 3rd and 16 for me to remember they only have 3 downs to get a 1st. I was like: "WTF are these guys punting on 3rd down?? Those crazy Canadians!" My bad.

The real highlight was during the on-field celebration. On multiple occasions, the camera guy caught numerous 4-letter bombs clear as day - for all of Canada and the United States to hear. Classic moments in CFL history, I'm sure.

Burleigh Grimes: A Look Back

We learned this week that Mike Mussina has decided to retire after winning 20 games last season for the Yankees. Barring a change of heart, this leaves Moose with 270 career victories - tied with Burleigh Grimes for 33rd all time.

Our pal Sarge from Wrigleyville23 told me that I should check out Burleigh Grimes, because his story would be of great interest to our Wisconsin readers. Intrigued, I hopped onto the information superhighway to learn more about Grimes.

The highlights:

• Grimes was born in Emerald Wisconsin. I discovered that Emerald is located in St. Croix County, which is basically in Minnesota.
• Grimes pitched in the major leagues from 1916 to 1934 for 7 different teams.
• Grimes was the last pitcher allowed to legally throw the spitball. I was confused by this, but apparently the spitball was banned in 1920 but he was one of 17 established pitchers who was allowed to keep throwing the pitch. This is kind of like banning steroids, but allowing Barry Bonds to continue using them. So Grimes got to keep throwing the spitter for 14 more years until he retired.
• Grimes' nickname was "Ol' Stubblebeard" because he never shaved on days that he pitched.
• He was also nicknamed "Boiley" because he was well known for beaning any hitter who dug into the batter's box when facing him.
• Burleigh was an ornery SOB - he once threw at an opposing hitter...in the on-deck circle.
• Quotes from Grimes - "I was a real bastard when I played"
• Quotes about Grimes - "The only time I was ever scared in my life was one time when Burleigh threw at me on a 3-and-0 count." (Frankie Frisch)
• Grimes was elected to the baseball Hall of Fame in 1964.
• Grimes died in Clear Lake, Wisconsin at the age of 92.

My research also uncovered a fantastic game story published in 1920. Google "Burleigh Grimes Times" and you'll find it - 4th result. I'm telling you, if newspaper reporters still wrote like this, I'd read more newspapers.

Those Dodgers think thay have a chance to cop the bunting. They play like it anyway. They acted yesterday like money players, as if spurred on by some big incentive. It was gingery ball they played, and gingery ball is what is needed to get the big October coin.

[Translation: The Dodgers have stones, and you need stones to play in October.]

And...

Burleigh Grimes was the big gun yesterday, and Burleigh pitched a classic of a game. He allowed four hits, and four hits, according to ordinary standards, do not constitute a generous allowance. Burleigh also saw to it that the hits were not placed in conjunction so that they could do any harm in producing runs. It needed the Burns and several other detective agencies to find where Burleigh's curves were going to break. They always broke in just the sort of way to prevent any sort of proper analysis by the batter.

[Translation: Grimes was dealing, scattering 4 hits with a devastating curveball (or spitter?)]

And...

Zack had a poor date at bat. True, he made two triples and a double, but what is that? The other time he came up he grounded out, which is no way to behave at all. A man who can't make four hits in four times at bat ought to have the riot act read to him.

[Translation: I'm a 1920's reporter, and I can be sarcastic when I feel like it.]

And...

As for the Phillies, they never had a Chinaman's chance any inning at all, the way Burleigh Grimes was going.

[Translation: Somebody needs a refresher course in racial sensitivity.]

Rotten Apples

Remeber this post about the ineptness of Washington State Football? Since then, it hasn't improved. The scores of their 4 losses since:

69-0
58-0
59-28
31-0

Ouch. Don't worry Cougar fans, you can make your season by winning the annual "Apple Cup" vs Washington. Now this is must-see TV....the 0-10 Huskies vs the 1-10 Cougars. Enjoy.

For the Lions Fan in Your Life

Courtesy of Deadspin.

Filling the Void

I have lots of great post ideas but no time to follow through right now. Stupid economy. To fill the void, I'll leave you with this Unofficial Chuckie Hacks poll:

What are you most excited about right now, and why? Please limit your reasoning to 6 words or less.

A. 5-5 Packers and their prospects for the remainder of the season
B. Badgers basketball season underway
C. Ditto Marquette
D. The Bucks
E. Pitchers and catchers reporting in Maryvale
F. Texas Tech/Oklahoma tomorrow night

My answer? E.

But Doug better start doing something.

A Chuckie Hacks congratulations!

Chuckie Hacks would like to congratulate one of our favorite lazy Milwaukee Bucks, Charlie Villanueva, for being named "America's most beautiful bald celebrity."

Here's another link with a nice picture of our hairless friend.

Voters all across America have exercised their inalienable rights and have once again proven that bald is indeed beautiful, naming Charlie Villanueva, the inaugural winner of the EAGLE Snacks' THE BALD AND THE BEAUTIFUL(TM) Sweepstakes.

...as a reward for being crowned America's official Bald and Beautiful Winner, Villanueva will also receive a distinguished trophy, honoring his accomplishment.

Allright Charlie! Way to get that trophy!

The interesting thing (I guess) in all this is that Villanueva actually has a condition called Alopecia Areata. So it isn't like he shaves his head or is old enough where he has just lost all his hair. Dude can't grow it. He's got no eyebrows (check out the pic).

So I'm not quite sure if this "contest" was supposed to be some sort of spoof gag (You'd think it is since it's named "The Bald and the Beautiful" and its for some snack company) but Charlie V took it in stride and donated some more money to a Foundation that looks for a cure for his disease.

Hopefully this award will knock his bald ass into a higher gear on the court.

Book Report - Part II

Cliff Note highlights Part II of Boys Will Be Boys by Jeff Pearlman. Part I

Charles Haley is legitimately crazy. No, really, he's crazy. Some days he took his meds, most days he didn’t. Let's just say he really, really likes his Johnson. In San Francisco, he'd drop his pants, stick it in Montana's or Rice's face and say "Come on...suck it! You know you want to." Also in San Fran, he go into an argument with Tim Harris (yes, that Tim Harris), ran outside, cut a hole in Harris' convertible Porsche's roof, and pissed all over the inside. The final straw with the 49ers was when a position coach told him to shut up during a meeting. Haley left, came back and threw a toilet paper wad full of shit at the guy! No joke! NOBODY wanted Haley. The Cowboys got him for a roll of athletic tape. In Dallas, he would often pleasure himself during team meetings to the point of...well...you know. My favorite might have taken place at a Randy White restaurant. White had a custom Harley Davidson inside the place as a showpiece. Haley fired that thing up and started driving around - INSIDE the eatery. Randy White - a former bad ass DE for the Cowboys in the 70s - grabbed Haley and punched him out cold.

The random acts of sex, drugs, and strip clubs are pretty much indescribable.

Alvin Harper was so obnoxious, he was actually banned from the teams favorite strip club. Understand, the Cowboys basically ruled Dallas...they ran the town (even balding kicker Lin Elliott pulled serious, serious tail). So to get banned from anywhere, let alone a titty joint, was almost impossible. Oh, and the DBs held positional meetings at this place. Seriously, actual position meetings were held at strip clubs.

The downfall started with Jimmy Johnson leaving. Jerry Jones thought anybody could coach this team to a title (Barry Switzer actually proved this...he was a college wishbone coach for God's sake), and thought the draft was easy, so he took over. Yes, Jerry Jones took over the Cowboys drafts - with disastrous results. Darrin Woodson would show up at training camp and just laugh at all the no-talents Jones drafted.

Not only that, Jones had zero idea how to run a salary cap. One year, when the cap was at $40 million, he only had 35 players signed - at a price of $39 million! They were screwed.

Of course, that didn't stop him from signing Deon Sanders, who was the dysfunctional dollop on this bizarre banana split. He would show up at meetings with a pillow and a blanket and say "Just give me a guy to cover, and you'all figure out that zone or cover-2 or whatever you want to run." Then he'd fall asleep. Deon, not Switzer, made the practice schedule. Yup, Prime would see an 7:30 practice time, call Jerry and say "No, 7:30 won't work for me. How about 9:00?" Sure shit. Jerry would phone Switzer, and the next days practice would start at 9:00. Deon's lack of tackling was almost as legendary as his coverage skills. During one film study, the entire defense was laughing at Deon as he just fell down as a RB was charging towards him. He responded (in all seriousness) with: "The guy was coming at me, and I had to make a business decision." Awesome!

Not only was Switzer a clueless coach and didn't hold anybody accountable, he (and Jerry Jones) partied almost as hard as the players. He often came to 10 AM practices smelling like Jack Daniels and blood shot eyes. At this point, the inmates were running the asylum with a coach who couldn't do anything about it - he was one of them.

Good Times

Ummmm...what?

Apparently Donald Driver's father ran into a little more trouble earlier this week.

Marvin Driver Jr., the father of Green Bay Packers receiver Donald Driver, was in a Houston hospital on Wednesday with injuries his family said were inflicted by two police officers.

"Mr. Driver Jr. is able to communicate through notes where he has described the torture he went through at the hand of HPD officers," according to the family's statement.

Marvin Driver's family showed reporters photos of Driver in his hospital bed with breathing tubes in his mouth. The family also showed the notes by Driver that alleged that he knew at least one of the officers and that they took him behind a gas station, where they beat him and forced an object down his throat.

Driver's family also alleged that the arresting officers made disparaging remarks about his son.

This is one of those stories that as you are reading it you tilt your head and say to yourself..."really?" Anyway, Donald is spending time this week down there with his Dad so let's hope his old man starts making a recovery. He is expected back in time to play against the Saints on Monday Night.

Aaron Rodgers is no Ryan Braun

I received the following email and picture from loyal female Hacker MD (Hat Tip dear lady).

Not sure if any of your other loyal blog readers attended the Packers meet and greet at Mayfair today so I thought I'd give you some pics. Aaron seemed annoyed that people were there to take pictures of him. Wasn't too impressed with the cocky attitude and eye roll when I asked him to look at the camera. The big spenders mostly just wanted to get to Aaron. I must say I was kind of disappointed because he was actually starting to grow on me. I didn't expect him to be such a diva. When I asked for a picture he said "What...." refusing to look up, and his handler said "Aaron has to work". What is the point of doing a public appearance if you aren't going to embrace your fans? He was wearing a really douchey hat too. He is nowhere as near as hot as you Woz.

Ok...99% of that is true. Here's the picture.



Hmmm...this douchey hat issue isn't new...is this an ongoing theme? I hope not.

Anyway, Chuck Rodgers acting like an arrogant tool doesn't surprise me. He's got that "look" to him. Mr. 3rd place in MVP voting Ryan Braun is arrogant, but by no means is he a tool. He's the man. Every man is WI wants to be Ryan Braun. He's cocky and arrogant, yet he pulls it off because he doesn't do stunts like Chuck did here. So Chuck, if you're going to continue wearing those sorts of hats, at least take a lesson or two from Ryan Braun and know how to work the crowd. Ok.

Brewers Hot Stove From CNNSI.com

From Baseball Prospectus, via CNNSI.com. Debate.

What Do They Have?
Even if CC Sabathia leaves, there's enough good stuff in-house or on the way up to leave Brewers fans relatively optimistic about the next several seasons, if not so much for 2009. With shortstop Alcides Escobar, catcher Angel Salome and slugger Mat Gamel all nearly ready, an outstanding young core in the lineup is about to become better still.

What Do They Need?
They need pitching, especially starting pitching. Despite pushing their way into the playoff picture the last two seasons the Brewers' bid on future contention is highly contingent on their ability to retain or replace at least one of their free-agent aces, Sabathia and Ben Sheets. The despair creeping into GM Doug Melvin's public pronouncements on the subject of Sabathia betray a sense of how fragile their immediate chances of keeping up with the Cubs in the division are.

What Are They Likely To Do?
They'll offer every cent they can to try and keep Sabathia, because Sheets won't fill the bill, nor will any of the other realistic alternatives on the market. Failing that, 2009 becomes a bit of a re-gearing year for the franchise. Either way they'll dangle Escobar because they already have a slick-fielding shortstop with some sock in J.J. Hardy, and offering either around would be their best tack in trade talks. Whatever the outcome on Sabathia they'll wind up taking their chances on the lead-gloved Gamel as their third baseman and await the arrival of Salome to provide an upgrade over Jason Kendall behind the plate.

What Should They Do?
Signing Kerry Wood to make the rivalry with the Cubs that much more of a grudge match would make things interesting. With the surplus of young talent in the organization, sneaking into the Peavy negotiations might be plausible, if only because the Padres need young talent. As far as additional action items, they need to make Mike Cameron a Yankee before the Bombers think better of it. If they settle for young pitching and Melky Cabrera in exchange, they're still left to deal with the question of whether and when second baseman Rickie Weeks is ever going to settle in; if they put together a package to get Robinson Cano from New York, they can answer that question by making Weeks their center fielder to replace Cameron. Whether they keep Sabathia or not they need to take a risk on a journeyman starter from among Bartolo Colon, Freddy Garcia and Jon Lieber to help round out a rotation otherwise stocked with question marks.

Some Guy Makes Tom H Look Sober

If you thought Tommy H. was drunk while filling out his NL MVP ballot, some guy must have been completely blacked out. Don't know who, but someone gave Jason Bartlett an AL MVP vote...a 5TH PLACE MVP VOTE!!! Now, I certainly don't just look at numbers...but, come on?

Jason Bartlett: .289 AVG, .329 OBP, 1 HR, 37 RBI, 20 SB.

Does his friggin 3 year old kid have a vote? Is he even the 5th most valuable Devil Ray?

Dempster Returns to Chicago

Ryan Dempster has re-signed with the Cubs. The deal is reported to be 4 years and $52 million. Dempster has been rewarded handsomely for his excellent 2008 performance.

My gut reaction is that the money sounds about right (average of $13 m per year) but the length of the deal might be a year too long, if I'm a Cubs fan. But I suppose that's the market for pitchers like Dempster.

I'll be honest, that guy shocked me last year - I kept waiting for him to hit a wall but he didn't. We'll see if it continues, but the Cubs got their guy.

Was It Colonel Mustard In The Library With The Candelstick Holder?

Who did it? A certain Chicago Bear had a postgame meltdown and punched a hole in the locker room wall last Sunday.

“There is a hole in one of the walls of the visiting locker room,” said Aaron Popkey, the team’s manager of corporate communications. “We’re not certain how it occurred, but it would appear it took place over the weekend.”

Any guesses?

Brian Urlacher - He's a prime candidate as he's part intense, part team leader, and part meathead.
Rashid Davis - Pissed that Kyle Orton is his QB.
Tommy Harris/Dusty Dvoracek - Played like they were on roller skates all afternoon, getting mauled by College, Wells, and Spitz.
Olin Kruetz - Guy has a history of punching teammates, why not a wall?
Rex Grossman - I could see him geeking out for no good reason...like that unstable guy at every college house party.
Corey Graham - Was embarrassed by Jordy Nelson who drive blocked him backwards for 22 yards on that Grant run to the 1 yard line.

I've got to go with Kruetz

Weekly Bucks Report

The Weekly Bucks Report is posted early every week on Chuckie Hacks, which just happens to be the best WI sports blog in the business. It is written by a man known only as Two Name, a man who I'm sure is currently camped outside of Kevin Garnett's house, waiting for the right time to pop out and injure him after he sucker punched Andrew Bogut the other night (Two Name has a little "thing" for Bogut).

The Milwaukee Bucks are a top-10 defensive team. Do you need me to write that sentence one more time? Would that make it easier for you to believe?
I know the Bucks have played only 11 games, but there’s something to be said for the significant improvement on the defensive end of the court under Scott Skiles. This is exactly what I was looking for in what has turned out to be an exceptional choice for head coach. This is why I wanted Skiles and not Rick Carlisle when John Hammond was making the most important decision the franchise had faced in more than a decade.
Why was it so important? Pick the wrong guy, and you risk losing a waning fan base for good. Many Milwaukeeans already had given up hope before last year’s joke for a campaign, and it would have turned even worse if not for a solid start to the 2008-2009 season. The Bucks still are dead to a great deal of fans, and that won’t change for a long time – maybe forever. But I feel the team has at least piqued the interest of those teetering on the brink of Bucks fanhood.
Skiles was the right choice for so many reasons, and the most important of those reasons was putting a respectable product on the court every night. Through 11 games, Skiles and the Bucks have done that, and then some. Look no further than an improved defense to explain how the Bucks have gone 5-6 through 11 games, despite having to play six on the road and a grueling five back-to-backs thus far. That’s unheard of in the NBA in such a short period of time.
The Bucks are ninth overall on defense, one notch ABOVE the Boston Celtics and three spots ABOVE Detroit – teams known for their defensive prowess. Milwaukee is “holding” teams to 96 ppg and 45 percent shooting, compared to 104 ppg and 48 percent shooting throughout all of last season.
Again, this is a small sample set, but the defense has greatly improved, allowing the Bucks to claw back into games they seemingly were out of early on. You can’t cut into leads without getting stops, as too many Bucks fans have learned the past few seasons. The Bucks would not have held off Memphis, beaten San Antonio or fought back against Boston without improved defense. Encouraging to say the least.

Hitting the boards: A key cog in any successful defense is limiting second-chance opportunities (or “reloads,” as Johnny Mac says at least 15 times per game), and the Bucks’ rebounding numbers are encouraging as well. Milwaukee is outrebounding the opposition by almost six boards a game. Drafting energy players like Luc Richard and Joe Alexander have helped this cause. Those two guys, especially, LR, have a knack for getting to loose balls and cleaning up the offensive glass. Andrew Bogut had 15 and 17 rebounds against the Grizzlies and Spurs, respectively, and LR grabbed 17 boards against Memphis.

Bogut answers call: Speaking of Bogut … Skiles supposedly called out Bogut before the Memphis game, asking him to be more aggressive. The 7-foot center answered the bell with two double-double-efforts after that discussion and 20 points and nine boards against a solid Boston interior defense. By the way, did anybody think Bogut never should have received his second technical against the Celtics? He made contact with Kevin Garnett while following through after KG hammers him. Garnett throws an open-hand “punch” but gets to stay in the game, while Bogut exits early. I would have liked to see OT with Bogut.

Player of the week: I’ll give it to Bogut. He looked more like himself after Skiles questioned his aggressiveness. He is setting the tone on the glass.

This week: Tough road trip has the Bucks heading to Denver and Utah this week. New York then comes to town before Milwaukee heads to Charlotte Saturday. Bucks play six of their next eight on the road. Ouch! Bucks will go 2-2 this week.

Trojan Horse

Chach, my college football guy, has expressed his hatred for all things USC. Among them, he's noted the high number of NFL busts from The Men of Troy. Pete Carroll supposedly "keeps reloading every year with a bevy of NFL talent..." Is this true? Or are these guys just over-hyped and drafted too high? You be the judge. Here's the list of notable USC guys drafted since 2000...I called Mel Kiper, he helped with these rankings. Of course, many are young enough to become good...Matt Lienart is a prime example.

Very Good
Reggie Bush, RB/KR (2006, 1st)
Troy Polumalu, S (Drafted 2003, 1st round)

Good
Ryan Kalil, C (2007, 2nd)
LenDale White, RB (2006, 2nd)
Matt Cassell, QB (2005, 7th)
Lofa Tatupu, LB (2005, 2nd)

Eh
Steve Smith, WR (2007, 2nd)
Justin Fargas, RB (2003, 3rd)

Bust
Dwayne Jarrett, WR (2007, 2nd)
Matt Lienart, QB (2006, 1st)
Winston Justice, OT (2006, 2nd)
Fred Davis, TE (2006, 2nd)
Dominique Byrd, TE (2006, 3rd)
Frostee Rucker, LB (2006, 3rd)
Mike Williams, WR (2005, 1st)
Kenechi Udeze, DE (2004, 1st)
Shaun Cody, DT (2005, 2nd)
Jacob Rogers, OT (2005, 2nd)
Keary Colbert, WR (2004, 2nd)
Travis Claridge, G (2000, 2nd)
RJ Soward, WR (2000, 1st)

Last Year's First Rounders
Sedrick Ellis, DT (2008, 1st)
Keith Rivers, LB (2008, 1st)
Sam Baker, OT (2008, 1st)
Lawrence Jackson, DT (2008, 1st)

His Own Category
Carson Palmer, QB (2003 1st) - Was great in his 2nd year. Blew out his knee, and has went downhill ever since...despite having a great WR combo. Now has arm problems and it's any one's guess if he can regain his pro bowl form.

First Free Agent Signs

The San Francisco Giants fired the first shot in free agency this off-season, signing....... Jeremy Affeldt! His job next year? To:

help forge the bridge between the Giants' starters and closer Brian Wilson

If you say so.

If I were the Giants, I'd try to sign guys who can put bat on ball, but that's just me.

Ties, We Don't Need No Stinkin Ties

After his Eagles ended overtime tied with the crappy Bengals, Don McNabb seriously thought they would keep playing. Yes, until yesterday, one of the better QBs of the last decade didn't know regular season games end in ties after overtime. Outstanding!

Link

Tom Haudricourt fills out drunken MVP Ballot

Tom H. drank 2 bottles of boons farm last night and turned in his NL MVP Ballot.

1. Ryan Howard, Phil
2. CC Sabathia, Mil
3. Manny Ramirez, LA
4. Carlos Delgado, NY (HA!!!!)
5. Aramis Ramirez, Chi
6. Prince Fielder, Mil
7. Albert Pujols, Stl
8. Ryan Ludwick, Stl
9. Ryan Braun, Mil
10. David Wright, NY

He ranked Albert Pujols 7th. 7th people. Good freaking lord. Now I hate Albert Pujols after what he said about the Brewers and the Carlos Villanueva thing this past year...but dude...he's the MVP. I'm not even going to get into the stats or anything else...he was far and ahead the MVP. Without him, the Cardinals would have seriously been like...69-93. I'm not even joking. Sober up Tom.

I was going to write more...but I can't. This is a complete farce. Tom H. thinks Carlos Delgado deserved to win the MVP more then Albert Pujols.

Asinine.

PS...congrats to Braun for rocking out a 3rd place finish. Somewhat shocking...but nice run.

Beatdown

A delightful afternoon at Curly. First, we destroy the Bears. Then, we get to watch numerous Bears fans watching the Packers destroy the Bears. Finally, we got to see obnoxious Bears fans not say a word from about the end of the first quarter on, as the Packers start destroying the Bears. Great times.

- How long does it take Bears fans to set up a flag pole? About 56 minutes for the douche bags tailgating next to us.

- Had to urinate bad right before half. Thought I would beat the halftime rush and go during the 2 minute warning. Bad idea. The lines were about 10 deep, so I missed a quick 10 points by the Pack. But in one of the most amazing things I've ever seen, all 100+ drunk guys in the bathroom went completely silent listening to each play on the radio. After the touchdown, the place went nuts - no pun intended. Getting 100 drunkards all silent is a small miracle...and could only be accomplished by NFL football.

- Jersey Watch. Lambeau was loaded with Bears fans. I'd say %95 of Chicago jersey's were Urlachers, with a few random Hester, Forte, Payton, and even a sweet McMahon #9. No lie, the second most common Bears jersey I saw was "#57, Kruetz." WTF? The guy's a center! Most random? Packers #80. Big deal, a Driver jersey, right? Nah. How about a Derrick Mayes #80? I don't think I saw a Derrick Mayes uni when Derrick Mayes actually played in Green Bay. The Winner? Some guy tailgating next to us (went at least 4 bills) with a personalized #76 and "Matt" on the back. Ha, got to love the first name on the jersey. Heard Jennings is gonna wear "Greg" on his next week.

- Example Number 1,823 of the NFL being completely bi-polar and impossible to predict. Last week, Tennessee's vaunted rushing attack went into Chicago and got a whopping 29 yards on 20 carries. This week, the Packers morbid ground game met up with the Bears 4th ranked rush defense. The result: 38 carries - 200 yards - 5.3 ypc.

- Kudos to the Green Bay O-Line. The interior of the line was road grading Chicago almost at will. At the same time, Chuck didn't get sacked or even knocked down all game.

- Justin Harrell sighting. I actually saw him pushing some people around...and it wasn't to get to the buffet table!

- AJ Hawk played great in the middle. Seemed more instinctive and natural at MLB. Yeah, he plugged the wrong hole at times (that's what she said) but played very good.

- Chicago completed a stellar 4 passes to WRs. They tried picking on Trammy Williams… nada.

- Chuck completed 23 of 30 passes. One was a spike to kill the clock, two were throw-aways out of bounds. That's efficiency, my friends.

- What happened to Devin Hester? I used to soil myself every time he’d return a kick. He's almost "just a guy" these days. He's currently ranked 51st in punt return average, and 23rd in kick returns.

Doug Melvin Trade History

MLB Trade Rumors has a history of all of Doug Melvin's trades, both as GM of Texas and Milwaukee.

Interesting to scroll through these. Melvin has traded lots of big names during his tenure as GM of the two clubs: Jose Canseco, Ryan Dempster, Juan Gonzalez, Andres Gallaraga, Richie Sexson, Carlos Lee, Alex Sanchez, etc.

As I look back through these during his Brewers days, the only two trades I don't like are the trade for Estrada with Arizona, and the trade for Linebrink with the Padres.

And Doug has made some absolute dandies. The Sexson trade, obviously, given the situation the franchise was in at the time, is probably his best deal. He got lots of useful major leaguers for Sexson, whom he traded at the absolute peak of his value.

Other trades that I particularly liked - the trade for Carlos Lee, the trade for Villanueva, the trade for Brian Shouse, and the trade for Mota (K bye, Estrada). Getting cash for Manny Alexander was a prety good trick. Oh, and that CC trade was OK too.

All in all a pretty solid record in Milwaukee.

Book Report - Part I

Checked out the aforementioned Jeff Pearlman book "Boys Will Be Boys" from the library (you know, that big building with all the books in it) last night. Only 100 pages in, but has provided plenty of highlights:

How did Jerry Jones end up buying the Cowboys? He was the only owner willing to meet the previous owner's main concession: Fire Tom Landry.

Jimmy Johnson was pretty much the only person in the country who liked the Hersheal Walker trade. Everybody thought it was crazy - he was the only good player they had. The 5 players they got in return were all assigned a draft pick. If the Cowboys kept any of these 5 players (all quality/decent veterans), the assigned draft pick went back to Minnesota. JJ said "F it" and cut every one. The clueless Vikings GM shit his pants.

Talk about trading down - Johnson then turned these picks into 19 more! This was back when the NFL had like 12 rounds, but still.

JJ was both a good and bad talent evaluator. He drafted numerous very good players from tiny collegiate outposts: Leon Lett (Emporia St), Larry Allen (Sonoma St), Erik Williams (Central St), Tony Tolbert (UTEP), among other. At the same time...

....Jimmy Johnson liked Steve Walsh better than Troy Aikman. How weird is this: After drafting Aikman #1 overall, a few months later JJ drafted Walsh in the supplemental draft - burning next years first rounder. He thought Troy was robotic, couldn't move or improvise - supposedly the opposite of Walsh, his college QB while coaching Miami. Johnson was totally on an island with his love of Walsh. Also, many (including Jimmy) wanted to trade Michael Irvin. His rookie year was pedestrian, tore his ACL in year two, and many thought he was too slow to be a, well, playmaker. The Cowboys dangled Irvin to every team in the league.

Irvin stabbed a teammate in the neck with a scissors. Good times.

Ah, yes - Boys Will Be Boys. It's a great read...and I haven't gotten to the parts about sex, drugs, booze and Charles Haley's dong.

Don't Beat The Bears!

Screw it, the KC Wolf is in hibernation. How about some reverse psychology? I'm desperate. I'll be at Curly this weekend, so a large recap will take the place of a preview. Whiskey may, or may not, be involved - so it could get ugly.

The Countdown Begins

The free agency period has officially opened in MLB. It has been nice having CC in our lives since July, but that's about to come to an end.

Thanks again CC. I hope you thumb your nose at that fool Hank Steinbrenner and end up somewhere where you will be happy - in California. The Angels would be good - I like the Angels.

No More Wood in Chicago

Cub-dom is in mourning, as the Cubs have announced that they won't re-sign Kerry Wood.

It's odd that by and large, Cubs fans have such an affinity to the oft-injured Wood while most Brewers fans are telling the oft-injured Ben Sheets to not let the door hit him on the way out of town.

Perhaps it is because Wood seemed to work his ass off to get back from his injuries, while the perception (right or wrong) was that Sheets got these weird injuries because he was lazy in his conditioning. The fact that Wood signed for a perceived hometown discount last year helped too, I'd guess.

Anyway, add one more name to the closer pool, and take one away, as the Cubs traded for Kevin Gregg today.

Off Day...

Apparently we took today off gents...perhaps we'll be back in the game tomorrow. Real life calls from time to time (lots of bank statements to reconcile).

Here's a quick nugget: The Bucks played defense last night and won! How bout that?

Big Unit = Big Fun

I have a new favorite blog to check out. It's the "Big Unit" blog by Bill Michaels from AM 620.

I've privately railed against the Big Unit to Brad on numerous occasions - he's the top sports radio host/personality for the flagship radio station in Wisconsin (and the flagship for the Brewers, Packers and Bucks), and he's basically clueless about the Brewers and Bucks (he does seem to know some stuff about the Packers, at least more than I do).

Well the first post I checked out from the Big Unit blog did not disappoint - it was a rambling stream of consciousness narrative about the Brewers off-season. My favorite part? This sentence:

You can’t blame Sabathia for testing the large body of free agent waters that’s overflowing with dollar bills washing up on his shore and vying for his services.

Holy forced metaphor Batman!

He goes on with some more ridiculousness.

By the way, make no mistake about it, the Brewers ARE expected to get to the post-season yet again this year. The bar’s been set and what once was a pipe dream for over 20 years, is now considered a right by many of the 3 million fans who strolled through the turnstiles last season.

This is an asinine statement. Any Brewers fan who considers it a right to be in the playoffs after sneaking in on the last day of the 2008 season is either (a) a frontrunner who wasn't around for any of the previous 25 seasons or (b) an idiot.

I'm going to be checking out this blog from time to time. There seemed to be some good incoherent rants about the Packers too, for those of you who are in to that sort of thing.

College Hoops Primer

Philly.com with 50 little college hoops nuggets to get you ready for the season.

Dick Majerus not very high on his Billikens:

15. Saint Louis coach Rick Majerus, on his revamped roster that includes nine freshmen: "They're going to get shellacked. There's a train wreck coming. It's inevitable."

16. The Billikens will open the 10,500-seat Chaifetz Arena which, this season at least, can be dubbed The Playpen. "It's going to be a bloodletting," Majerus continued lamenting. "They have no idea. I understand that, but they don't. They're young."

Ouch.

Not That It Matters Much....

I know, I know...the game is long over. I wouldn't have given them any thought, until I saw ProFootballTalk.com ripping these two officiating calls/non-calls.

The first safety - clearly, there was a receiver within the throwing area.

Peterson takes off helmet after final touchdown - Where was the 15 yard penalty?

---Update---

It seems the VP of Officiating is also pissed about the Peterson Helmet non-call: Link

“I can’t figure out why anything wasn’t done about that,” Pereira told Randy Cross and Peter King, “but I will say this: It frustrates me that we didn’t do anything about that. You can’t take your helmet off either to argue a call or to celebrate. If you’re in a time out period or a measurement or a challenge there are times when you can take your helmet off on the field. Or when you’re nearing your team area when you approach the bench. But when you score like that, when you remove your helmet you should be flagged. Or when you take off your helmet to argue with the officials you should be flagged, too, and it frustrates me, quite frankly, that we didn’t do that.”

Torres Retires

According to Tom H., Salomon Torres retired. Again.

He promises that this is it - he's done (remember he retired upon being traded to Milwaukee, and he also retired about 10 years ago).

This saves the Brewers almost $4 million, meaning that Brad can add this to the conspiracy theory. Clearly Attanasio told Torres to retire in a cost-cutting move. Torres was not really an option for closer again, but it would have been nice to have him in the bullpen because he was useful. Perhaps one of the 2 other biggest moves this offseason (other than hiring Willie Randolph) will be finding a reliable closer.

Rooting Interest

Can we please, please, PLEASE have Florida beat Alabama, Oklahoma beat Texas Tech, and everybody else win out. That would leave us with seven 1 loss teams and two non-BCS teams undefeated. Smoke would be pouring out of those computers like a '73 AMC Pacer…

Andy Baggot Weighs in On Willie Randolph

Andy Baggot, the columnist from the Wisconsin State Journal who had the foresight to tell us that it would be a "profound disappointment" if the Brewers didn't make the World Series after the Sabathia trade, is all fired up about the Brewers hire of Willie Randolph as bench coach. ...

No matter what trades are made or who the Brewers sign as free agents, the acquisition of Willie Randolph as bench coach will go down as one of their top three offseason moves. …

Yes, the former Mets manager will make that much difference because he'll directly impact at least three major concerns heading into the 2009 season: Rickie Weeks, second base and leadoff hitter. …

This is shaping up to be a God-awful offseason for the Brewers if Willie Randolph ends up being one of the club's top 3 offseason moves. ... And is that 3 major concerns, or 1 major concern, Andy? ... And how is Randolph going to solve these 3 (or 1) major concerns? ...

Randolph was an all-star second baseman (a career .980 fielder) and a regular in the leadoff spot (a career .373 on-base average) whose ability to teach the game is highly regarded. If he can get Weeks to improve his offense and defense, just think of the possibilities. …

Just because Randolph was a great player doesn't mean he can heal the sick, turn water into wine, and turn Rickie Weeks into an all-star second baseman. ... Yeah, it would be great if Rickie Weeks became Willie Randolph. But there are lots of great players who weren't able to translate that into great coaching. ...

...

Hat tip to Brad on the link - I don't read the Wisconsin State Journal ...

...

You Can't Sleep On The WIAC!

The UW-Platteville Bo Ryan's beat Division 1 Bradley in an exhibition game last night. Yes, the same Bradley Braves that were in the Sweet 16 two years ago. Certainly, some guy from a tiny high school in SW Wisconsin had a good game. Oh, you can't take those WIAC teams lightly. Beware Bucky...the Whitewater Warhawks are in town tonight!

Response to the Conspiracy Post

I was typing this out in the comments, but it just got too long. Dissenting opinions from the Chuckie Hacks editorial board.

I don't see how any of this is a conspiracy. It just seems to be the facts of what the Brewers are going to do this off season. Outside of the Cameron thing, I don't see how any of this can be seen as "slashing payroll". Yes, there is a reality that the Brewers are not working with the same payroll as the Yankees and they must work within a budget. The question is, how can they position themselves to win now and be set up for the future and stay within that budget, ala the Twins.
Lets look at Brad's points:
1.) They made the best offer they could to CC. As little of a chance as there is, we are one of about 5 teams that could sign him. The Brewers can't do anything stupid to hamstring themselves payroll wise so they offered him as much as they could. The shorter contract works for the Brewers but not for CC. Its a legit offer, but the Brewers cant go 6-years $150 mil plus with him. It is just not prudent for the long term health of the roster. I don't see this as window dressing. The Brewers made their best offer, which is legit and hope that he really liked Milwaukee and the team.
2.) Yah, no shit. When the Astros throw a 5-year $80 million dollar deal at him, why would the Brewers even bother. I am sur ethe Brewers know his medical history as well as anyone and how good his arm really is. I am sure they are going to talk to Sheets agent to see what the rate is, but in the en, a team like the Brewers can't afford to invest in a guy who makes 20 - 25 starts per year.
3.)Yah, they could trade him, but I don't see them trading him just to trade him. Honestly, $10 mil is a legit salary for Cameron. Heck Gagne made $10 mil last year. If a legit trade pops up, I am all for looking at trading anyone on the roster not named Braun or Gallardo.
4.)After Prince did not accept the extension at the beginning of last year, which Hadricourt reported was for more money than Braun got, the Brewers knew he was headed to free agency. I believe Howard got $10 mil in his arby year with an MVP under his belt. Prince is no Ryan Howard. Look for him to get $7-8 mil, a salary the Brewers can easily handle. They are not looking to trade him before his salary goes up. They are looking to trade him now while he still has some years under team control so they can get a better return on him. They will get more if they trade him now to a team that will have him for 2 years as opposed to the second half of a season.
5.)Again, no shit his would want to trade Hall and Suppan. Any decent GM would want to unload guys underperforming. This isn't anything shocking.
6.) Just because the bullpen was shaky last season doesn't mean they are not going to spend on it this year.

I guess i just don't see what you are getting at. Any GM would be looking at all of these moves you mentioned. I don't see how any of this is a conspiracy.

I Love A Good Conspiracy Theory

Here's one I've concocted about the Brewers. Dougie Melvin has direct orders from Mark Attanasio to slash payroll, and slash payroll fast. "How do you figure?"

1) They've already put out a bogus offer (to appease the fans) to CC knowing he's never
gonna sign it.
2) They probably won't offer Sheets a single penny.
3) Yes, they picked up Cammy's option (again, to appease the fans), only to possibly trade him for a lesser, cheaper player (Melkey Cabrerea?). Then covering it by saying "he gives us another left handed bat..."
4) They've openly talked about trading Prince before his arby years jack up his salary.
5) You know Melvin's trying to peddle Hall/Suppan to anyone that will touch them.
6) Last off season, they spent money on a new bullpen (Riske, Gagne, Mota, Torres) with less-than-expected returns. You think he pumps more cash into the bully (still one of their biggest weaknesses) this off season?

You ask: "Why would Attanasio do this? He's always done what's necessary to improve the ballclub!"

A) He lost money last year
B) He's losing trainloads of money in the current economy
C) He (and Melvin) knows it's highly unlikley to improve on last year without CC and Sheets.

Is this nonsense? Of course, upcoming free agency/trades will be the answer.

Ned Yost Earns a Bye?

Jack Z. will interview 7 candidates for the vacant Mariners managerial position.

However, Ned Yost is not one of the 7 initial candidates.

Cryptically, the story says that Yost could be added to the list later. I guess he might have earned a bye on the first round of interviews?

Addition By Subtraction?

Nick Barnett out for the year. He was having a brutal year anyway, so could this possibly be a good thing? Hopefully we won't be watching Des Bishop whiff on tackles as much as Barnett did.

If this does turn out to be a pawsitive, can we also shut down Clifton for the year?

Article

Doug Davis Update/Flashback

Anybody remember this gold nugget? This was a watershed post in Chuckie Hacks history as it:

A) Introduced Woz to Chuck, and
B) Got BrewerFan.net into such a tizzy, the entire existence of their site was questioned on the message board.
C) Is still the biggest, boldest, mudslinging piece of "journalism" in Hacks history. Good times.

Anyway, it seems Mr Davis recently got engaged to his Eau Claire hottie. Here's the wedding announcement from the EC Leader-Telegram. Don't know if the Spectator confirmed the story. I like how it says Davis pitches for the D-Backs "In Phoenix," like he works for ABC Consulting or something like that. Thanks for the clarification.

Big Thanks to Jagr for the link.

Packers Quick Hitters

The Packers are hell bent on trying to give me a heart attack this year, that much is clear. I've just got to mention a couple things here before any other in-depth analysis is done by others:

-Chad Clifton. He's done. His career is over. I'm not sure it's feasible but if the Packers even want to consider being competitive in the 2nd half they may have to look at replacing him mid-season. He CANNOT be here next year. Great guy...great Packer career...possible P-HOFer. But he's done.

-Derrick Frost. This guy is a freaking joke. Why did we cut Ryan again? He was in a dome and couldn't kick the ball! Can we K bye this chump?

-Bob Sanders. Dude...I don't pretend to understand the complexities of the NFL (at all)...but for christ sake can you mix it up a little? Only our secondary can hold its own playing straight up. With our linebackers all of a sudden very mediocre the front 7 has to be more creative. Adrian Peterson now is the proud owner of a small part of AJ Hawk's soul and several other Packer defenders.

Weekly Bucks Report

The Weekly Bucks Report is written by a man who is known as Two Name, a man who will get into drunken arguments with you at George Webbs if you even mention that you've "lost interest" in the Bucks. Besides that and his inability to bounce a quarter or flip a cup, he still can write good stuff about our favorite NBA team.

Raise your hand if you have heard of these guys: Brad Newley, Stephane Lasme (don’t even know if this is a dude), Derrick Byars, Stanko Barac, Jared Jordan (obviously no relation to a more famous Jordan, considering his basketball career). None of these cats ring a bell?
These are just a few of the players taken ahead of Ramon Sessions in the 2007 NBA Draft. I understand most general managers consider the second round to be a complete crap shoot, but a gem emerges every once and awhile. And it appears Larry Harris, in spite of all his bone-headed decisions as Bucks GM, found a gem in Sessions.
Harris and the Bucks drafted Sessions with the 56th pick in 2007, behind a stable of foreign no-names and guys who are bagging groceries at an ALDI near you. Even many first-round picks that year are failing to make the impact Sessions has at this point. Remember Alando Tucker? Phoenix picked him with the last pick in the first round, and that guy has fallen off the face of planet.
After watching the Bucks beat Washington and lose to Boston and Phoenix, Sessions continues to be the player that catches my eye. Comparisons are never fair, especially in the NBA. But if you watch Sessions, his game is similar to that of Tony Parker. He’s nowhere near Parker’s level, but his ability (and willingness) to get to the hoop and make all sorts of running, off-balance shots reminds me of the Spurs point guard.
Sessions is averaging 17 points and six assists in five games. He seems to be a decent floor leader and made some impressive passes against Phoenix, including one that led to a dunk by Joe Alexander, who saw his first extensive action of the season against the Suns.
So, let’s pose the question: Would you rather have Mo Williams (14 ppg, 5 apg this season, plus inferior defense) or Sessions as your point guard? As long as Sessions stays committed to developing into a true point guard, I’ll take Razor Ramon. You know Mo can fill it up on any given night, but he’s not a point guard to build a team around. I think Sessions can be, and that’s why the Bucks passed on D.J. Augustin and other point guards in last year’s draft. They already had their point guard of the future, and it’s looking positive so far – even if it’s only a handful of games.
Player of the week: See above. Sessions is giving Bucks fans a glimpse at their starting point guard of the (near) future. Luke Ridnour will continue to start because of experience and because Sessions gives the squad a nice boost off the bench, but there’s an obvious drop-off in speed and athleticism when comparing Ridnour and Ramon.
RJ arrives: We got to see the real Richard Jefferson this week. After struggling through his first couple games as a Buck, he broke out with 32 points against the Wizards. He started 6 for 6 against the Celtics, but cooled off after the first quarter. I still think he should be touching the ball more with Mike Redd out. It seems like his teammates forget about him from time to time. By the way, check out RJ’s wifey. Wow.
Road improvement: A 3-4 record with four of those seven games coming on the road is not bad at all for the Bucks. They won two of those road games after struggling mightily last year away from the BC (7-34, ouch!). Wait, they sucked at the BC, too, but I digress …
Rotating rotation: Still having a hard time figuring out Scott Skiles’ rotation. Unlike almost all NBA coaches, he doesn’t seem to have one. He’s going with whoever is playing hard and scoring points. But I had a hard time with Danny G, Charlie Bell, Joe Alexander, Sessions and The Prince (Mbah a Moute) playing at the same time against the Suns. Not a whole lot of firepower there.
Skiles tried to make a point to his starters by sitting them for a considerable amount of time in the first half Saturday, but you risk digging yourself an Anthony Mason-sized hole with a crew like that playing together.
This week: I have the Bucks going 2-2, beating Memphis and a banged-up Spurs squad, and losing to Cleveland and Boston.

Editor's follow up note: I actually watched the Bucks game Friday night against the Celtics. Now granted I was playing poker at Potowatomi, but I was still glancing at the TV whenever I could. I found myself mildly interested in the outcome. They played hard against the champs and the game was fun to watch (until they got blown out in the 4th quarter). All I can say is this through two weeks in the season: this team is a team you can root for as they appear to be trying to play defense with a non-selfish offensive attack. Baby steps indeed to get interest back in the minds of an average WI sports fan.

Mike Cameron or Melky Cabrera (LOL)

Time to go on record in the comment section bitches!

Ignore money, future ability, and other miscellaneous variables.

Unofficial Chuckie Hacks poll:

Who would you rather see roaming CF for the 2009 Milwaukee Brewers? Mike Cameron or Melky Cabrera?

Since we're a blog, I can give 2 points to help you decide which some may consider "biased."
Mike Cameron is an ok baseball player.
Melky Cabrera fucking sucks.

Go on record. My vote is for Cameron.

Does It Matter If You're a Switch Hitter If You Suck From Both Sides of the Plate?

Can we just stop the talk about trading Mike Cameron for Melky Cabrera?

Thanks.

Don't beat the Hoosiers!

The Badgers have no chance this weekend!

Justice!

Remember the story about the classless drunken Cubs fans who knocked out the guy from Stallis after the Stallis guy threw a beer can at their bus in the Miller Park parking lot after a game this summer?

Looks like the two guys will be spending a little time at the ol' "House of Corrections" in Franklin for the next couple months.

The man who they beat down didn't sound like he had a pleasant rest of the summer because...well...he had to have his mouth wired shut for 5 weeks:

"It was torture," he told the court. "No barbecues or nothing."

Well anyway, justice is served. The two clowns will end up paying the full cost of the man's medical bills, and serve various times at the Franklin House of Corrections (albeit it will be on work release).

The best quote of the story though comes from the lawyer of one of the criminals:

"Perhaps it was seen as an attack on the Chicago Cubs," he replied, "which, in their intoxicated state, they felt they had to defend."

Nice rationalization sir. Not a physical attack on a person, not an attack of a player on their team...but an attack on the concept of the team, of what the team represents. They felt they had to defend "their team" by clocking some poor schmuck from the Stallis in his jaw.

Class.

FLATTEN THE VIKINGS!!!

We need help. Something bigger than a picture of the KC Wolf flattening those security guards and that moron who ran onto the field. Yup, not just the picture...but a video replay of this monumental event in Chiefs history. Why not? He moves laterally smoother than Chad Clifton, stuffs the run as good as Johnny Jolly, and sure as hell finishes tackles better than Nick Barnett.

While the Wolf is a disapointing 2-5 this year (it's the Wolf's fault, not mine), he was money in 2007. In fact, around this time last year, I (credit goes to me when correct, not the stupid Wolf) correctly picked the remaining games on the Packers schedule. No, seriously. Every one. Yes, I actually can make a correct prediction once every 6 months or so.

Do I have a good read on this year's Packers? Of course not. Finally healthy, and playing their best ball the last 3 weeks, I think I know....but then realize this is the NFL. It's completely F'ed up and opinions change every game, no - quarter:

Example #1: Indy Colts. They start out shitty and everybody panics. They shred Baltimore's defense 31-3 and all of a sudden "their getting right" and "nobody wants to play the Colts the rest of the way." What happens? They get rolled by Green Bay and Tennessee...the Colts are dead. Predictably, they then beat New England.

Example #2: the New York Giants - perhaps the best team in football. Their only loss? Got trucked by the punchless Browns on national TV.

Example #3: Carolina. Started out 3-1, went to the Bucs and lost 27-3 (and you think the Packers struggled in Tampa) to fall to 3-2. Eh. Then rip off 3 straight and are now a consensus top 5 NFL. I could go on...and on...and on.

My point? I've watched every snap (some more fuzzy than others), and still don't know what Green Bay is. I think I know a few things: their offense can consistantly move the ball and put up points, they don't really have a "bad" loss (Even Atlanta is 5-3!) or a "great" win, the schedule is tougher than last year, some of the younger bench guys looked pretty good when filling in for starters (Trammy Williams, Aaron Rouse, Jordy Nelson), while a few old stalwarts have struggled (Tausch, Clifton, Barnett, Driver), they can't stop the run, can't run consistantly, and while Rodgers has been very good, he still makes a few "rookie" mistakes (takes sacks). What does this constitutel? 4-4. Are they good enough to rip off a 4-1 streatch somewhere along the way? Yes. Are they bad enough to lose a bunch of close ones and go 1-4? Yes.

Despite this trip through the unknown, I still have no other choice but to attempt a repeat effort of '07 and predict the rest of the road. It's my duty - no, obligation - as a Packer fan and Chuckie Hacks blogger.

@ Minnesota. We all remember Favre getting the "Metrodome Monkey" off his back by playing great there the last few years. Did he ever. We also remember how bad he was in the beginning. But, man...I forgot it was this bad: (JSOnline)

So Rodgers heads into his first spotlight game with season-altering consequences. But it's not do-or-die. That's the situation Favre found himself in during his first visit to the Metrodome on Dec. 27, 1992.

After watching the Washington Redskins unexpectedly falter on Saturday, the Packers took to the plastic turf knowing that a victory would deliver the team's first playoff berth in 10 years.

The Packers fell, 27-7, as Favre threw three interceptions.

It would take him until his fifth game to throw a touchdown pass there. By that time Favre had been knocked out of more games (two in '94 and '95) in the Metrodome than he had 200-yard games (zero).

We can't have this, Chuck! Pawsitive is perfect in his career vs Minnesota. And last I checked, Brad Childress still coaches the Vikes. Win.

Chicago. Sticking with coaches, Lovie lovie's to play Green Bay. Lance Briggs picks up a lame fumble for a TD. Loss

@ New Orleans. One of those "dangerous" teams who look really good on paper (especially after beating Kansas City like 44-9 the week before) and everyone around the office says: "no way we win, the Saints are going to the Super Bowl." Woody with a pick-6. Win

Carolina. Pretty much Tennessee-lite. Jake Delhomme snaps his arm inbetween Justin Harrell's rolls. Packers win on 8 Crosby field goals.

Houston. The Green Bay train is moving after a healthy string of solid performances...and, hey, look...finally a breather against a weak team out of playoff contention! Win, right? Remember class, this is the NFL. Loss

@ Jacksonville. Did David Garrard really get that much money? Win

@ Chicago. Repeat of last year only with snow. Jermichael Finley drops 3 passes - blames it on Rodgers and Mother Nature. "Damn you, altostratus clouds!" Loss

Detroit. Every Packer fan in the world bows down to the Football Gods and thank them for scheduling a home game with Detroit with the division in the balance. Win

There it is: 9-7, NFC North Division Champs

It's one of those days!

Oh Trenni you sly vixen! Hurt me! Hurt me!

Goldy has been trying to get me all worked up this morning by forwarding me crazy links saying Trenni is taking off for the new MLB Network this next year.

No way. She wouldn't do that to me. Trenni and I have a special bond...you see.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for this woman. I would install her air conditioner. I would put together numerous book shelves. I would adopt several malnourished third-world children just to show how sensitive I am. When she goes on her long runs (she runs marathons you know) I would follow in my car or fixed-gear bike and blast her favorite tunes if she hated running with an ipod (like that one commercial where the husband is following his wife as she runs blasting the Spice Girls in his car). I would do ANYTHING for Trenni.

That's true love people.

Ooooo, That Smell...Can't You Smell That Smell....

Now THIS is the sort of NBA talk I can follow. An interview with some NBA writer I've never heard of on TheBigLead:

Q: Because it is our favorite question: Confrontations. Had any good ones with players or coaches? What’s the best one you’ve witnessed? Charles Oakley and Tyrone Hill seems to be the gold standard, but we hope you can top it.

Some time ago – this is going back 20 years – the Nets were very late in returning to the floor after the halftime break. The reason was that chaos had erupted in the locker room – not fists or tirades, but a very heated argument over who had to guard a certain Eastern European forward from the Atlanta Hawks whose body odor was such that nobody wanted to be stationed in the same zip code, much less touch the poor guy. It was my understanding that one player eventually paid an intrepid teammate a large sum to perform this task without the coach’s knowledge or consent. I still don’t know whether the story is 100 percent accurate, and I don’t condone sharing half-truths. I just repeat them in the public interest.

The wonders of the porn download interface Internet shows the only Euro on the Hawks approximately 20 years ago was Alexander Volkov (1989-90). Unless Roy Marble was originally Royov Marblesovich, but I doubt it. Congrats, Volkov...you smelled so bad guys were fighting NOT to guard you! Impressive indeed.

NFL Realignment Talks...

I always like a good realignment discussion. This ProFootballTalk article examines the need to blow up the current NFL structure. Let's face it, 8 divisions of 4 teams creates all sorts of grease fires. It's only a matter of time before we have a 7-9 division "champ," while a 9-7, or 10-6 team stays home. Hey, you think the NFC North is weak..check out the two Wests:

AFC West
Denver: 4-4
San Diego: 3-5
Oakland: 2-6
Kansas City: 1-7

NFC West
Arizona: 5-3
Seattle: 2-6
San Fran: 2-6
St Louis: 2-6

Holy Turd Sandwiches! Also with the 8 division format comes the jacked up scheduling where one division plays every team in two other divisions on a rotating basis. This can be a really good or really bad. Paraphrasing the article:

This year, for example, the teams of the AFC East get the aformentioned shit-tastic AFC West and NFC West.

Meanwhile, the teams of the AFC North play this year the teams of the NFC East and the teams of the AFC South. In the NFC East, every team is above .500. In the AFC South, three of four teams made the playoffs last season — and one of them is 8-0.

If it's four 8-team divisions, or 6 divisions (4 with 5 teams, 2 with 6)...don't look for the current structure to be around much longer.

You know who's really effing hot?

Diane Kruger. Seriously. Just give me 7 minutes. One time.

Tax Planning at the Winter Meetings

Let's refocus the election talk a little bit, to consider this potential impact that last night's results might have on the baseball world. Free agent players across the country are thinking the same thing this morning:

"Pay Me My Money In 2008!"

"Likely tax increases" will be hitting the rich under Obama, which includes professional baseball players and blog writers (I'm considering my options - as the great Jeffrey Lebowski once said "speaking of which, you think you could give me my $20,000 in cash? My concern, and I've got to check it with my accountant, but this might bump me up into a higher tax bracket.") Therefore, agents might move to get lots of signing bonus money up front and paid prior to the end of 2008.

Now I'm off to do some tax planning.