Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Medic?

"Can somebody pass the Tylenol?"


In honor of Brian Butch's robo arm this weekend (I wonder if he can throw a gyroball with that thing), here are some of the best/worst sports injuries. Sorry Doug, couldn't find your Tim Krumrie leg flap.
Clint Malarchuck gets his jugular sliced. As mentioned by NHL Rich in a previous post.

Napolean McCallum: A classic MNF injury.

Joe Theisman: Another MNF great....makes it even better that I hate Theisman.

Shaun Livingston: Happened this weekend. Not good.

Franco Colombu: This is just awesome....a personal favorite of Straubs! We had this on tape in the dorms and showed it to everyone who walked through the door. The ladies were not a big fan.


UPDATE: Looks like someone on CNNSI beat me to the punch. Link. I'm deathly afraid to watch #4...just can't bring myself to do it.

Puck Me!

I can honestly say that I'm glad that I didn't attend a recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition party.

Hmmm...I think I'll take a water chestnut wrapped in bacon, a little mini quiche, and some Hepatitis A. Nothing like a touch of jaundice and severe abdominal pain to round out the evening. Not good times. At least any swimsuit models in attendance don't have to worry about being exposed - I'm sure they didn't eat anything.

You're Only Cheating Yourself, Gary

Suprise! Gary Matthews has been connected to steroids. You mean, a guy just can't go from a being a nomadic slap hitter (playing for 6 teams in 5 years) to become a five tool (or at least four tool) $50 million man just through hard work these days?

Apparently not.

Chris Leak is not smart

Congrats to Florida QB Chris Leak for winning this year’s “Vince Young Award.” This goes to the NFL hopeful who posts the lowest Wonderlic score. Who can forget Young’s alleged 6 on last years test. Well, Leak beat that by two, posting a friggin snowman! This is all rumored, of course.

Dickie V...oops

This is pretty amusing. Dickie Vitale was scheduled to be on a Knoxville radio station to preview Tuesday’s Tennessee-Florida game. Vital, who called on his cell phone, had a bad connection and apparently didn’t know he was on the air when he repeated a "confidential" conversation with Florida coach Billy Donovan.

The Hosts tried to get Vitale’s attention but all they herd was the conversation he was having with people at a restaurant in Florida. Unknowingly on the air, Vitale then made his “confidential conversation” with Donovan not so confidential. Donovan told him that NBA scouts were making a big mistake if they rated Florida’s Joakim Noah ahead of teammate Al Horford.

Dickie V, Part I

Shortly thereafter, Vital got wind of his blunder. He called the radio show again where the backpedaling machine was in high gear. Good job V.

Dickie V, Part II

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Brewer Breakdown - Center Field

On to center field where Billy Hall figures to be patrolling Miller Park for a very long time after last year’s Gross/Nix/Gwynn/Clark mess.
2006 stats: .270, 35 HRs, 85 ribbies, 8 SB.

Before I start, I wanted to answer the question of “why not just move Hall to 3B? We have a plethora of outfielders already and Graffy/Craiggers at 3B isn’t very good.” Here’s what I’ve gathered:

-Ryan Braun is on the fast track to 3B. Moving Hall to 3B and then moving him to CF when Braun is ready would result in learning two new positions in 2 years.
-Melvin likes to put highly productive guys in traditionally weak positions (SS, 2B, CF). It’s harder to find a big bat to play center than it is 3B or a corner OF spot. How many CF's can bat cleanup?
-Putting Hall at 3B would again result in a daily Gross/Clark/Gwynn/Nix mess in CF. That’s probably worse than having Graffy/Craiggers at the hot corner every day.
-He might be too athletic for 3B…if that’s possible. Use his talents as much as possible, I say.

The Good: Hall is a huge part the Brewers future. His work-ethic, unselfishness (Jenks/Mench, you hear that?), and talent is top-notch…top-notch! If needed, he could probably play any position except catcher. His 35 dingers would have been a club record for centerfielders, giving the Crew some serious punch in a traditionally punchless position. Remember the days of slappys Devo White, Alex Sanchez or James Mouton in CF? Those days are over...for a long time. A guy with this much ability shouldn’t have too much trouble transitioning defensively to center….he played a pretty good SS last year, a very demanding position. Also, who would you rather have at bat with the game on the line…especially with Cirillo gone? Billy is money in pressure situations.

The Bad: Hall strikes out a ton (162, 3rd in the NL). Despite his talent and good wheels, Billy had a tough time stealing bases in 2006 as he was gunned out (9) more often than he was successful (8). His defense could initially struggle as he gets his feet wet.

2007 Prediction: .283, 34 dingers, 106 Ribbies

Grade: B+/A-. Billy isn’t quite in the CF pantheon with Carlos Beltran, Vern Wells, Andruw Jones, or Al Soriano…but he’s getting close.

Worst Sports Injuries

Anybody else see two guys ram Butch’s elbow back in place during the OSU game? That was not good. It got me thinking of some other dandies:

  • Coke-snorting LT snapping Joe Theisman’s leg during a MNF game
  • Raider RB Napoleon McCallum’s knee shredding, also a MNF game I think
  • Moises Alou putting his foot on sideways sliding into second base with the Expos.

Those are a few off the top of my head. Please respond with your favorite sports injuries?? Maybe I will post the links your viewing (dis)pleasure.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Bumps in the Road

The Badgers lost a big game against the Buckeyes, and they lost one of their big guys too. Brian Butch is out 4-6 weeks with a dislocation and fracture of his right elbow. Looks like he's out for the season, unless he's a real fast healer and Bucky goes deep (like Final Four deep) into the tournament.

I was pretty down yesterday, because Wisconsin should have won that game. But then my wife, in her infinite wisdom, said to me "why are you so crabby - doesn't it only matter if they lose in the tournament?" Bless her heart, she's right.

Butch is despondent.


But Dewey still has faith.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Brewer Breakdown - Right Field

With Geoff Jenkins moving back to LF, Corey Hart will be the everyday RF for your Milwaukee Brewers. Hart is yet another in the long line of young Brewer farmhands with big time potential. Gabe Gross will probably spot Hart 20 times or so this season.
2006 stats: .283, 9 HRs, 33 RBI, 5 SB

The Good: Hart has done nothing but produce at every level, garnering Southern League (AA) MVP honors a couple of years ago. He’s often been overshadowed by Weeks and Fielder every step of the way despite being more productive and consistent. The Richie Sexson-clone has the make of a very good MLB player. He looked solid last year hitting a very respectable .283…especially considering it was his first extended look in the bigs. Corey is a good athlete who has decent wheels for a sloth.

The Bad: Like most tall, young home run hitters, Hart strikes out often. Projected over a full year, Cory would have easily struck out over 100 times. His outfield defense needs a little work. LF is usually where your strongest arm is and Hart’s is average at best. He’s jumped from 1B to 3B to RF to LF throughout his minor league career, so he’s LF experience is limited.

2007 Prediction: .271, 21 bombs, 81 RBIs.

Grade: B-. In my opinion, Hart's grade will rise as he's on his way to a very good major league career with the potential for multiple 95+ RBI seasons.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Antanasio Excited

Mark Antanasio is excited for this year's edition of the Brewers. The payroll is now at 70 million bucks. This should be celebrated as it would probably still be hovering around the $40 million mark if Selig and his merry band of misfits were still running the show.

Warriors Slide Continues


Poor 3 pt shooting (7-25) and foul trouble haunts the Warriors one again as they fall to rival Notre Dame. Some big, left-handed sloth for ND ate Ooze Barro’s lunch to a tune of 22 pts, and 13 rebounds. 22-8 sounds like a fine season, but Marquette should be disappointed. This team baffles me. They’ve lost 4 of 5 now with post season play just around the corner…not a good time to go cold. Speaking of cold, Dom James (and almost everyone else) can’t seem to make a shot outside of 8 feet from the basket. I really think they have sweet 16 ability...heck maybe even Great 8, but they just can’t get into a rhythm and will probably lose in round one to a crafty 10 seed from the Missouri Valley. Then again, my record in picking games mirrors D-James’ 3 pt percentage, which is well below average. Unfortunately for James and Crean, the onus will always come down to them, fair or not. This squad is going nowhere fast in March unless James and Fitzgerald rediscover their outside strokes. Where's Anthony Pieper when you need him?

Big Joe Moves at the Combine

Well, Chopp, despite your "insider" information about Joe Thomas' gait, it looks like he posted some pretty good numbers at the combine... 4.92 40 yard dash (that's moving for a big fella), 33" vertical (mine is about 4"), 28 reps at 225 (I might be able to throw 125 up once). Even though I think teams over-emphasize the combine numbers, those numbers should bode well for big Joe. Except he'll probably get drafted by the Lions now.

Ugh.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Three Strikes and You're Out?

Recent off-field incidents involving NFL players have the league's own athletes suggesting a "three strikes, you're out" conduct policy, according to NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw.

When reached for comment on the proposed new rule, Pacman Jones was unconcerned.

"Good thing that spitting on a stripper, inciting a riot in a strip club or other disorderly conduct in a strip club doesn't count as a strike," Jones said. "In fact, nothing that happens in a Vegas strip club even counts for anything - you know what they say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

Jones also said that even if what happens in Vegas doesn't necessarily stay there, the fact that his latest incident happened at the NBA All Star game means that it wouldn't count as a strike in the NFL.

"That's an NBA event, man," Jones said. "I mean, that's what you're supposed to do in the NBA."

When told of Jones' comments, Titans owner Bud Adams began ramming staples into his arm.

A (More Convincing) Argument for a No. 1 vs. No. 2 Seed

ESPN ran a nice article that serves as a counterpoint to my unresearched knee-jerk post about my opinion that a No. 2 seed for Wisconsin isn't the worst thing in the world. I'll admit - I can't disagree with Mr. Shelman. Somebody did some nice research for him on the percentages of No. 1 and No. 2 seeds getting to the regional semifinals.

Since the tournament was expanded to 64 teams in 1985, 74 of the 88 top seeds have advanced to at least the regional semifinals (84 percent). Only twice in that period has there been a tournament in which two No. 1 seeds were knocked out on the first weekend. In the same span, 55 of the 88 No. 2 seeds (62.5 percent) have won at least two games. Since 1999, however, only 15 of 32 No. 2 seeds (47 percent) have reached the second weekend.

Golf Sucks

While currently on the 15 day DL (back), McManus is enjoying every minute of the golf Match Play thingy going on. This led to a discussion of our most desired sports to watch on TV. He loves golf, I don't. Even if it’s Sunday at the Masters with 31 guys tied for the lead, I would rather watch the following instead of golf. Seriously:

  • Ping Pong
  • NASCAR
  • Curling
  • Minor League Baseball
  • College Baseball
  • Bull Riding
  • Canadian Football
  • Australian Rules Football

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Good Times in the NHL!


Had to try and recap a great NHL (yes, that league is still around) highlight I just saw. Sorry to the die-hard NHL fan(s) who read our blog (Hager, I’m looking in your general direction), but I don’t know the names in this particular melee. Here goes…Buffalo (who went back to the sweet 1980s uniforms) vs. Ottawa:

It all started after an Ottawa guy crushed Buffalo’s best player a little after a shot…a “late hit,” if you will. The Buffalo guy’s grill was smashed against the ice producing substantial blood, among other things. It was on. Before the ensuing face off, Buffalo emptied their bench and replaced the regular lineup with a bunch of goons. Pure coaching brilliance. Ottawa, on the other hand, still had their high scoring Sallys on the ice. Drop the puck, start the carnage. Some guy wearing, not surprisingly, #76 for Buffalo was all over the place…this guy must be part Hanson brother as he was willing to fight anyone, and everyone (more on him later). He was pretty much “likes to fight guy” at your local bar, Bob Probert, and Kyle Farnsworth all rolled into one. Senators (McManus, that’s the team from Ottawa) were getting tossed like rag dolls. Meanwhile, the goalies wanted a part of the action. The Ottawa goalie was some black guy who’s obviously done this before. He was eathing the poor Buffalo stopper's (Clint Malarchuck?) lunch in about 2.6 seconds. It was so one sided, he actually helped him get back onto his skates. Well, one Buffalo player in particular didn’t like this very much…here comes good ol’ #76. Yes, #76 the big, tough, roided-up goon went after the other team’s goalie! That’s pretty weaksauce, I’m guessing that only happens about once a decade. I missed what happened there as they flashed to the Buffalo coach trying to get a piece of the seemingly 78 year old Ottawa skipper.

That last battle didn’t get far, but it was part of the only NHL action that kept me excited since Gretzky was dropping 200 points per season in an Edmonton Oilers sweater. I might actually try to check out the next Ottawa/Buffalo game…if I can find the “Versus” channel. All in all, good times at the rink!

Joe Thomas Walks Goofy

Like last month's Doug Davis story, here is another one from 3rd hand information....Bob Woodward I am not. My co-worker's brother is currently training Joe Thomas at a fitness club in the Brookfield/Waukesha area. He's personally training the Big Fella daily in preparation for the NFL. The brother says he's "stiff," has "weird bowed legs," and "zero flexibility." He wouldn't be surprised if he's a non-factor (Aaron Gibson, Chris McIntosh, Wendall Bryant) in 2-3 years becuase of injuries.

Again, take it for what it's worth...just passing it along. He could be right on money, or completely wrong. I hope this doesn't create a 137 response outrage like the Dougie D story did on another site.

Brewers Preview, Sabermetric Style

I still don't know what Sabermetrics is exactly, but the Sabermetrician (is that a word?) on this blog is cautiously optomistic about the Crew's chances this year. Enjoy - but remember to put on your thinking cap (Nubs, you might want to skip this one if you've already had a few Woodford and waters tonight).

Yost Tabs Vargas for Opener

Ned Yost announced that Claudio Vargas would take the hill for the 2007 opener....of Spring Training. No word on the opening day starter, although my money would be on Ben Sheets. Might as well get as many starts from him as possible before the inevitable breakdown.

In Brewers injury news, we have the second instance of "breaking up of scar tissue" being blamed for offseason pain for one of the team's walking wounded.

In December, Hardy advanced to baseball drills, including running. He received a minor scare before Christmas when the ankle stiffened but it turned out to be scar tissue breaking up. Hardy took a few days off and went back to work, counting the days to spring training.

I think I could be a Brewers team doctor - apparently, scar tissue explains everything. I wonder if Ted Higuera has worked through that scar tissue yet...

Lee Elia Meltdown, 1983

Who? Early 80s Cubs manager Lee Elia just crushing Cubs fans for booing the home team. Easily the best manager vs fan meltdown in history.

WARNING:
This clip contains at least 50 Four-Letter-Bombs, so beware.

Not Good Times in Wrigley

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Brewer Breakdown - Third Base

Chiropractor!

Incumbent 3B Corey Koskie has yet to participate in “baseball activities” almost 8 months after his concussion. Thus, I’m not counting on him to do anything this year….he’s dead to me. This calls for the not-so-scary Craig Counsell/Tony Graffanino platoon. 2006 stats:
Craiggers: .255, 30 RBI, 15 SB, 372 ABs with Arizona
Graffy: .280, 27 RBI, 2 SB, 236 ABs with Milwaukee

The Good: We should only see this debacle for one year as 2005 first round pick Ryan Braun is on the fast tract to the bigs.

The Bad: Everything else. This duo doesn’t hit for average (Graff career: .268, Counsell: .255 last 3 years), hit for power, or have much experience playing 3B recently (Counsell: 8 games at 3B last 3 years combine). Name the last playoff team with a 3B platoon? Doug Melvin compared it to the Blue Jay’s memorable Garth Iorg/Rance Mulliniks combo in the 80s. Iorg and Mulliniks? WTF? Was Kurt Bevaqua and Onix Concepcion not available? Anyway, I’m not looking forward to watching these guys every night…especially Counsell and his “Look at me…I have cerebral palsy” batting stance. No offense to anybody with cerebral palsy.

2007 Prediction: .259, 9 dingers, 58 RBI combine

Grade: D-. I challenge you to find a worse 3B situation in the National League…until Braun is ready.

Out-worked


You can live with the little bald white guy getting hot. You can live with Tucker having a sub par second half. The one thing that probably isn't sitting well with Bo is rebounding. The Badgers got out-boarded 41-24. That red headed kid was all over the place. Rebounding is a pure hustle/heart/desire stat and Wisconsin got out worked. This is stunning when you consider the number of 6-10 guys Bucky can throw out there and the lack of big name frontcourt guys on MSU. Chappell (why does he start?), Bucth, and Stiemsma with a combine 5 rebounds? Inexcusable. Oh well…should still be a great game on Sunday.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

#2 Seed? Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

With MSU beating Wisconsin, and with their remaining schedule, it isn't inconceivable that Wisconsin will drop to a #2 seed in the tourney. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. Here are my reasons:

1. The 8/9 seeds always seem like tougher "outs" than 7/10 seeds. I know, seems weird..but I feel like they're always the underachiever teams from big conferences that barely sneak into the tourney, but are scary as hell when they get there. Right now, ESPN has such teams as Texas, Tennessee, Alabama, Arizona as 8 or 9 seeds. Yeah, I don't like those matchups much either. On a given day, those teams could either beat Wisconsin by 10 or lose by 20 - super inconsistent. But most importantly...

2. I don't want Wisconsin to become the first #1 seed to lose its first round game. Admit it - you've thought about that too. Kansas loses as a #2 seed every other year, so that isn't as big of a deal any longer. But if Wisconsin got a #1 seed, and then lost to the #16 seed - well, you'd have to hear about that until you die.

Ugh



F this guy.

Wood Throws a Pitch


Kerry Wood is shown here throwing a spring training pitch without getting hurt. This must be noted as it is only a few days after Wood hurt himself falling in his hot tub. Oh, and by the way, the local Little League called...Dairy Queen want's their uniforms back.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Scottie On Scottie

Scottie Pippen not only goes 3rd person (2007 Chuckie Carr Award Candidate?), he actually thinks he was better than MJ!! Yeah, keep working on that comeback at age 41 Scottie...that should go well.


"I know that, but I think people love me just as much as they love Michael," Pippen said. "The fans who understand the game, the GMs and coaches. I think they'd rather have a Scottie than a Michael."

There was an awkward, shocked pause after Pippen answered - Pippen over Jordan? - and someone finally asked why.

"Because I'm an all-around player," Pippen added. "Coaches would rather have a Scottie-type player than a Michael. I was an all-around player. I made people around me better."

Same Old Same Old

Starting things off on the right foot on the injury front again this year, news out of Brewers spring training is that Weeks and Koskie are still hurting. We all knew that Koskie's melon wasn't right yet, but Weeks is still having problems? He needs to see the doctor again? Hey Rickie, might have wanted to take care of that, oh, about a month ago. And for god's sake, don't flick that bat during your down time. If this is going to be another season filled with Yost blaming "breaking up of scar tissue" for every bit of post-surgical discomfort felt by the local nine, I'm already looking forward to 2008.


Mr. Baseball, meet Mr. Glove

Finally, who knew that the University of Buffalo was the spot to go for concussion problems? What's it called, the Don Beebe institute of head injuries? Maybe Koskie can wear one of those foam helmets-outside-the-helmet things that Beebe and that offensive lineman for the 49ers used to wear? Help me out people, who was that, Guy McIntyre?

(Confession: I didn't know the University of Buffalo existed until they showed up on Bucky's football schedule).

Dewey Defeats Truman

Disregard my last post - sort of. My complete lack of faith in the voters (at least the AP voters) was unfounded. The Badgers are No. 1 in today's AP poll. However, the coach's poll has the Buckeyes at No. 1.

Most Undeserving No. 1 Team Ever?

When OSU (the Overrated State University) is inevitably crowned the new No. 1 team in this week's college basketball polls, will they also take the crown of most undeserving No. 1 team ever? They're 27 games into the season, and they still haven't notched a quality win. And all they did last week to "deserve" this new honor was sneak by the most pathetic team in the Big 11 (Penn St.) by 2 and blow out the second most pathetic team in the Big 11 (Minnesota).

Yes, I'm bitter. And the polls aren't even out yet.


Buckeye - those are some scary nuts

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Crean/Wade Reunion?

A rumor in the St. Paul Pioneer Press says that Tom Crean might be the heir apparent to Pat Riley in Miami, taking over the Heat. Of course, this has to be taken with a HUGE grain of salt - the Pioneer Press is notorious for floating crazy rumors (remember the Carlos Lee trade to the Twins last year?)

Friday, February 16, 2007

Books

I’d like to start spring cleaning by gathering some missing books. So, if you get a chance, please check to see if you borrowed some of these. Thanks.

The Old Testament - I'm missing Leviticus, 2nd Chronicles, and Habakkuk.
How to Play Winning Football, the Vince Ferragamo Way

Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Does
Awaking from a Comma: The History of Punctuation
Bodybuilding Techniques by Manute Bol

The Unauthorized Biography of Pat Morita (Goldy, this might be yours)
Millard Fillmore: America’s Forgotten Leader
Convert Your Dodge Ommni Into a Stock Car in 10 Easy Steps
America the Beautiful Volume IV: Gary, Indiana

The Cuisine of Uzbekistan

Thanks again!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hardaway Hates Miniature Horses

Former basketball star Tim Hardaway had some harsh comments against miniature horses while appearing as a guest of Dan LeBatard's radio show.

"You know, I hate miniature horses, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like miniature horses and I don't like to be around miniature horses. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

Hardaway didn't stop there, saying that he would not even like to be in the same room as a miniature horse.

"And second of all, if a miniature horse was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that's right. And you know I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. I wouldn't even be a part of that," he said.

The American Miniature Horse Association denounced Hardaway's comments as ignorant and offensive.

"It is ridiculous, absurd, petty, bigoted and shows a lack of empathy that is gargantuan and unfathomable. But it is honest. And it illustrates the problem better than any of the fuzzy language other people have used so far," said Bob Kane, president of the AMHA. "Every comment that [Hardaway] made is labeled with hate."

Joey Porter's pit bull was unavailable for comment.


Stay out of Hardaway's way, mini horse.

Who's Next??

If you've played at least one game of open gym basketball your life, this is a must read.


Caddy

This is funny...trust me.

Cadillac Anderson Awards

Recruiting Wars

Good article on football recruiting wars. Included is talk of how people were crying “foul” once Wisconsin started getting good:

"[The NCAA] had a folder on us 3 inches thick from people turning us in," said Alvarez. "They had a special meeting about us. But sometimes you have a program where guys are just outworking people."

Recruiting Wars

Brewer Breakdown - Shortstop


Youngster JJ Hardy assumes the starting shortstop position after missing most of last year with a snapped ankle. This is a tough assessment because there isn’t much of a track record with JJ….two years ago he was just a 23 year old rookie and last year he was hurt.

The Good: Glove. JJ has definite Gold Glove material. His range, arm and accuracy are right up there with the best….already. He projects to as a #2 hitter with good average and doubles power. Hardy flashed some ability at the beginning of last year with 7 RBIs in his first 12 games…

The Bad: …then promptly thought he was Ryan Howard and swung out of his ass every at bat. It didn’t work as plenty of pop ups followed and JJs average slumped to the low .240s. This matched his 2005 average. It’s too early to bash him for not hitting, he’s still very young. Then again, baseball’s had plenty of slick fielding shortstop whose bat never came around. Is JJ next? Basically, is Hardy the next Barry Larkin or Rey Sanchez?

2007 Prediction: .260, 12 bombs, 63 RBIs.

Grade: C. I’m high on James Jerry’s future, but he hasn’t proven it yet to garner a better grade.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

More NBA News...

In a gigantic NBA trade, the Memphis Grizzlies (Memphis has a team??) traded Jake Tsakalidis to the Houston Rockets for Scott Padgett. Ha!

Anybody Want Steve Francis? Anybody? Hello?

One of my favorite pasttimes - Zeke Thomas bashing!

There are whispers about the Knicks making a play for Cleveland power forward Drew Gooden. Or maybe they'll opt for a small forward along the lines of Milwaukee's Ruben Patterson or Sacramento's Ron Artest. The Knicks would consider trading several players, including Steve Francis. Second-year players Channing Frye and Nate Robinson are also available. The same is true of veteran center Jerome James.-- New York Daily News

Ummm...yeah. I'm sure Steve Francis and Jerome James are available. In fact, I bet the Knicks would trade Steve Francis or Jerome James for me, if the deal worked under the salary cap [Note - it doesn't, unless my employer can throw in about 500 mid-level exceptions].

Steve Francis (2 years left on his deal - $16.4 million in 2007-08 and $17.8 million in 2008-09) hasn't played in months, and Jerome James (4 years, $25 million left on his deal) is averaging 2.5 and 1.7 a game. Yeah, I'd say those two are available. Of course, if Gadzuric is in the conversation, I'm listening...

Pitchers and Catchers Have Reported!

With camps opening this week, I thought it was a good time to relive the best moment in the history of spring training: Randy Johnson destroying an unsuspecting bird with a pitched ball, circa 2001. I can’t stop laughing out loud at this every time I see this, and its some 6 years later! View the footage!

I don’t even know how this happened when you consider the following?
  1. The pitch was thrown somewhere in the neighborhood of 95 MPH. That’s a standard Big Unit pitch.
  2. The bird (known as Larry from here on out) is flying at, what, 30 mph? 35? I have no idea how fast a bird files.
  3. A baseball has a circumference of 9 inches. Not very big.
  4. Put yourself in Larry’s feathers 3 seconds before impact. There’s plenty of air space he could use. Considering it was a head on collision, if his path is different by a mere 5 inches up or down, he doesn’t get hit.
  5. If Larry starts his flight about 0.1 seconds earlier or later than it actually occurred, disaster avoided.

Taking all this into consideration, how the hell did this happen? The mathematical probability of this must be staggering.

You really need to break down the tape, Ron Jawarski style. I don’t know what’s the best part? Is it:

  • Randy Johnson is a goon. Look at that guy…its like Brad Lohaus on the mound!
  • The cloud of feathers exploding on impact. Looks like Daffy Duck when he’s shot by Elmer Fudd.
  • Larry actually bouncing off the ground, sans feathers, dead as a doornail.
  • The catcher trying to look the ball all the way into his mitt.
  • The umpire, he doesn’t know what to do. “Is this a ball? A do-over? Are there mulligans in baseball?”
  • Check out red ass Randy. This film cuts it off but I remember him just walking away like it happens every other inning or something. Did he learn to pitch by hunting grouse with baseballs? He also wasn’t amused after the game: “I didn’t think it was that funny” was his actual quote. Lighten up Unit, you just performed the most random act in the history of mankind.

Good times! That clip will NEVER get old.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

2007 NCAA Football Coaches




Big Z Needs to Get Paid

We have a strong early contender for the 2007 Chuckie Carr Award, given to the best quote(s) from an athlete speaking about himself in the third person. Carlos Zambrano of the Cubs not only refers to himself in the third person, but he also calls himself "Big Z" in an article in today's Chicago Tribune - nice work Carlos! Personally, I'd be glad if Big Z took off for the American League - he's the only decent Cubs pitcher who can stay healthy now that Maddux is gone.

Bielema/Switzer Comparison?

Ivan Maisel compares Brett Bielema to Barry Switzer in a column on ESPN.com. Not sure I want my coach favorably compared to a man stupid enough to try to bring a loaded handgun onto a flight (he called it an "honest mistake" - only in Texas) but I'd sure take Switzer's on-field success. Amazing that the Badgers are going to be able to come off a 12-1 season with a legitimate chip on their shoulder - nobody gave them any credit for their success last season.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Brewer Breakdown - Catcher



Behind the plate, newcomer Johnny Estrada takes over for Wisconsin native and dinosaur Damien Miller. Estrada came to Milwaukee from Arizona via the Doug Davis trade. He hit .302 with 11 homers and 71 RBIs. Miller is the backup and is projected to make about 40-45 starts.

The Good: He can hit! Catchers that hit over .300 with 70+ RBIs are at a premium. As are switch hitting catchers…Johnny is both. Estrada is easily the best offensive catcher Milwaukee’s had since the Saucy Aussie Dave Nilsson was squatting in County Stadium. That was about 10 years ago. Estrada (this guy needs a good nickname….no, Eric will not do) also hit .314 in 2004, so last year wasn’t just a “career year.” He could hit anywhere from 2-8 in the lineup.

The Bad: From all accounts, Estrada handles a staff well, but doesn’t exactly have a howitzer behind the plate. Mentions of his defensive merits are few and far between, so I’m assuming they are not very special. How’s that for a blatant example of the research (or lack there of) done on this site? Actually, here’s some: Only gunned down a Mike Piazza-esque 29% of would-be base stealers. That’s not very good. Also, he runs with a piano on his back...like most catchers do.

2007 Prediction: .290, 10 bombs, 75 RBIs.

Grade: B-. The Estrada/Miller two headed monster isn’t exactly scaring pitching staffs, or base runners, but should be considered above average.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Budweiser Park?

Apparently, Miller Brewing is gambling its naming rights to Miller Park for a series - and if it loses, Brewers fans will have to attend games at Budweiser Park.

The bet? It has to do with NASCAR. Apparently, both Miller and Budweiser have a NASCAR team. If Miller's team beats Bud's team next year, then Busch Stadium will be renamed Miller Lite Stadium for a series in 2008. If Bud's team beats Miller's team, the unthinkable happens. I don't know how they keep score in NASCAR, so don't even ask how one team "wins."

To confuse things further, according to the story that I read, the guy who races for Miller's team is named Kurt Busch.

Thankfully, up to this point, the Budweiser folks haven't accepted the bet. However, if they do, let me go on record that I don't like it. And no, this won't make me pay attention to NASCAR.
HA!!!

Bucks Draft....Oden or Durant??

This is sure to be my one and only Bucks post of their pathetic campaign: Danny Gadzuric and Bobby Simmons continue to steal money by the truck load. Mike Redd was having a great season until he went down with an injury (will be back soon). Chuck Villinuava was also playing well but has been banged up all year. Andy Bogut seems to be not much more than “just a guy.” He went bananas for about a week straight until Redd got hurt and defenses started paying attention to him. Rueben Patterson has been a bright spot. His hustle, defense and scoring has kept the Bucks in games…and he’s been a model citizen as well! Can you say “contract year?” Mo Williams has been up and down. Charlie Bell, Earl Boykins, David Noel, Brian Skinner, and a couple of Euros round out the squad.
Of course, only about 139 die hard Bucks fans care about the what you just read. The real basketball story this year has been at the college ranks where Freshmen Greg Oden (Ohio St) Kevin Durant (Texas) are feasting on college kids 8 years younger than them...I mean not as good as they are.

My question to you: Given their current roster, if the Bucks had the #1 pick in the draft, who would you want them to select (besides Tanner Bronson, of course)? The 7-foot power post player Oden, or Mr. Do Everything Durant?

NFL HOF BS

Steve Czaban just crushing three prominent NFL writers and Hall of Fame voters. Good stuff...

The larger problem with the HOF committee, is the personalities of some of the people on the list. To put it bluntly: they are insecure, petty, agenda driven writers. Let me point a few of them out, and back up my assertion with personal experience via my radio show.

1. Len Pasquarelli – ESPN.com
This guy is one joyless, arrogant, prick. I remember one time I was filling in for Jim Rome, and called to ask him if he would come on the show. I had interviewed Pasquarelli before on my local show, and we had done some pretty cordial stuff. So I figured, why not? Well, when I tell him it’s Rome’s show, even though I will be doing it, he lauches into an insanely over the top rage about how much he hates Rome and would never do the show, blah, blah blah. Wow. I just said: “Okay… “ and hung up the phone. Last I ever talked to him.

Then, a few months later, Pasquarelli gets into a on-air fight with WTEM’s Doc Walker over whether the Redskins hire of Marty Schottenheimer was a good move. Len was crushing the hire, because – this is now well known among Redskins fans – that Len HATES everything Dan Snyder does. Now, look, I’m WITH him on a lot of these points, but even I did not say Marty was a bad hire. So Doc starts digging in with Len on the air, and when the interview is over, Len tells our producer – and I quote – don’t EVER call me again to be on that show, and tell Doc Walker to go fuck himself.” Furthermore, do you remember when Len was PIMPING Jeff George for an NFL job after he washed out with the Skins? It was ABSURD. Every few weeks, Len would write about how “he’s still available!” It was a joke. I later found out, that there are family ties to George. Nice. Good journalism.

There was also a little prickly incident with my former colleague Sandy Penner at WFNZ in Charlotte, where Sandy (a big Eagles fan) introduces Len by referencing the lame-ass WR tandem of “Stinkston” and “Trash.” Len comes right on, and starts trying to castigate Sandy for calling Pinkston, STINKston. Incredulous, Sandy presses him on “well, do YOU think he’s good?” Pasquarelli then resorts to saying “Have YOU ever gone across the middle in the NFL?” Idiotic argument. On these things ALONE, he should disqualified from the HOF committee.

To top it off, Len on another station (gee, guess which one!) said this week about Monk not making it, that he didn’t think Monk was the kind of WR teams would throw double coverage at. Sure. Good thing “Coach” Pasquarelli broke down all that game film and took notes. Absurd.

2. Paul Zimmerman (Dr. Z) – Sports Illustrated
This guy is a legendary asshat. Not only have I had two of the most condescending interviews with him ever in my radio career, but he actually tried to get a colleague of mine at Fox Sports Radio FIRED for disagreeing with him on the air. I’m not kidding. Dr. Z called our boss, screamed him blue in the face, and started name dropping all kinds of people – at FOX TELEVISION! Our boss just laughed, and politely ended the conversation. Little did “Dr. Z” know, that Fox TV has absolutely nothing to do with FSR. Laughable. Also, there’s a classic clip I have from ESPN at one of the early NFL Drafts. Dr. Z was on, and he RIPPED the Dolphins drafting of….. DAN MARINO! The actual quote: “I don’t know where he’s going to get coaching down there.” Great call. Nozzle.

3. Peter King – SI.com
To say that King has “an agenda” is like saying Michael Jackson is “image conscious.” King is the most easily swayed, glory-hounding football writer in the business. It’s always about who he “just got off the phone with.” Get over yourself, dude. King practically banged the drum for years about Harry Carson getting in, while at the same time holding out Monk. Then, suddenly, King admits he TALKED to Joe Gibbs about Monk and changed his mind. Nice convictions. Even still, I’m not even convinced King actually VOTED for Monk this time, because a) the ballot is secret and b) he probably just SAID that, so he would get less hate mail from Redskin fans. King once saying that Danny Wuerrful would “throw for 3,700 yards and 20 TDs” under Spurrier here in Washington should be THE single most disqualifying demonstration of football ignorance in HOF committee history.

Mind you, these are just a few guys I KNOW have agendas, and biases that are on the committee. Who knows how many else there are. The problem with this committee is that it’s too damn small a sample of opinions and the voting process involves direct bullying and or lobbying in a closed room.

While that may seem more “romantic” than a straight ballot you fill out at home like the BB HOF, it has produced wildly idiotic results. At least with a large sample of NFL voters (say 300+)

There is also what I call the “NFL Films” effect with the HOF. As brilliant as NFL Films is, the way their productions inject such romanticism about certain players and eras has a very biasing effect in my opinion. The NFL glory teams of the 70’s – while certainly GREAT teams – are over-represented. The Steelers, the Cowboys, the Raiders and such, have so many vintage NFL films features about them.

My Redskins of the 1980’s, not nearly so much.

One final anecdote to remember. When Mike Ditka became the first tight end to be inducted, he was SHOCKED to find out that John Mackey was NOT already in the Hall.

Why?

Because the guy who as supposed to SUPPORT Mackey’s induction – writer John Steadman of the Baltimore News American – actually lobbied AGAINST Mackey because Steadman was an “owner’s guy” and Mackey was head of the then NFLPA.

Nice.

Mackey is now in, and Steadman is dead. But this most absurd way to honor the NFL’s best and brightest remains. Shame on them all.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Easter Miracle

Watched the Brewer's classic Easter miracle game the other night, and just have one update for those who didn't see it. The highlight of the game for me (other than the 2 HRs by Deer and the Dale Svuem walk-off-HR-before-there-was-such-a-thing-as-a-walk-off-HR) was watching Cecil Cooper get gunned down trying to swipe 2nd with 2 outs and BJ Surhoff at the plate. That's like asking my dad to try to steal second in a major league game. (Sorry dad).

There's a lesson in all of this - if you're 55, you can't run on Don Slaught.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Why is Ohio St. Ranked Ahead of Wisconsin?

So I'm sitting here watching UNC/Duke on mute (two words - Dick Vitale). The guy treats the day that UNC visits his beloved Blue Devils like pagans treat the vernal equinox. If I read a headline that said "Dick Vitale's Head Explodes While Calling UNC/Duke at Cameron Indoor Stadium" I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

So anyway, I just got finished watching Wisconsin handle Penn State rather easily, and I got to thinking about something Chopper said to me today - why the hell is Ohio State ranked ahead of Wisconsin in basketball?

If a voter would look at the rankings completely objectively, you'd have to put Wisconsin ahead of Ohio State, right? Wisconsin did beat the Buckeyes pretty handily in Madison earlier this year. I know, the score ended up pretty close, but that's only because the Badgers goofed around and Ohio State hit a bunch of three pointers at the end of the game. So the head to head contest goes to Wisconsin.

Well, it must be all of those quality victories that Ohio State has. Right? Um, no. I just looked at their schedule. Their best win might be winning at Purdue by 18. Purdue isn't exactly a powerhouse, but they're OK at home. Otherwise? Beat Indiana by 7 at home. Beat Tennessee by 2 at home. Won handily at Michigan St. and at Illinois (but both of those teams are really down this year). In their three big tests so far this year, they're 0-3 (losses against UW, UNC and Florida).

Let's look at Wisconsin's resume, on the other hand. We've already established that they beat OSU at home. Wisconsin drilled Pitt at home when Pitt was ranked #2. Wisconsin beat Marquette on the road in convincing fashion. Wisconsin won at Georgia by 10. They beat Florida State (who has already beaten Duke and Florida this year). So they've got wins against 3 of the top 10 teams in the nation this year. Not bad. Wisconsin's resume trumps Ohio State's. That's two checks in the Bucky column.

Aha! Ohio St. (3rd) has a better RPI than Wisconsin (5th). That must be it. Hate to break it to you, but the RPI is useless. I just looked at the current RPI (through games as of yesterday), and Kentucky, Arizona (7 losses) and UNLV (!) are in the top 10 and Florida is 13th. Tell me why I should pay attention to this rating system.

I don't see one good reason why Ohio State should be ranked ahead of Wisconsin.

Looks like UNC is going to beat Duke (Chopp, I'm killing you tonight). From the sound of it, Vitale survived another game without having his head explode.

In conclusion,


Nope. Still can't survive a pit bull attack.

National Signing Day!

In honor of National Signing Day....I’m guessing sleepovers at this guy’s house were pretty common!

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

One Man's Super Bowl Rant

Not my work, a random email rant from friend Chach Wirtz that had to be posted:


"Speaking of the NFL, this year’s “Super” Bowl SUCKED! If I wanted to watch junior high ball, I'd go down Berlin (Wisconsin) middle school and watch them fumble the ball all over the field. By the way Miami, better think twice about making fun of northern cities with domes hosting the Super Bowl, at least it won't rain. For a second there, I thought the halftime show would be Noah loading animals on the ark. The match up, the performance and the setting of the game (super dark, raining) literally looked like a nightmare. It was almost like one of those Japanese cartoons, that look sort of real, but you know its not. The NFL is a freaking abomination! By the time week 8 arrives I wish the season were over already. The 1st four and last four weeks of the season (before playoffs) are fun. Everything else, including playoffs, sucks. I'd rather watch the draft than the Super Bowl!"

Nice!

Monday, February 5, 2007

Super Bowl Thoughts


Random thoughts from the Super Bowl:

Prince and Billy Joel? - What game was this, Denver/Washington 1987? Was Duran Duran not available? Who else was waiting for “Party like it’s 1999” 8 years after it happened? I sure was.

Rex Grossman - Easily the worst Super Bowl QB I’ve ever seen. At least the Steve Grogan/Tony Eason debacle had the excuse of playing against the best defense ever. Ditto for Kerry Collins. Not Rexy. And my goodness…you might want to work on that QB-Center exchange. Just guessing, but 100% of plays without a good one of these does not work very well.

Ron Rivera – You’re telling me this guy is a hot head coaching candidate? How about covering the short stuff and make Peyton throw it deep into the monsoon? The Bears gave up points and yards in bunches for about the last 6 weeks.

Rain – I loved the game conditions. It’s part of the game of football. I liked it.

Dan Marino – Did you see him on the set after the game when they were talking about Manning finally winning the big one? He had a “Crap. I was hoping someone else would retire into my no-ring category” look on his face. That was priceless.

Bob Sanders – Can the Packers somehow trade for this guy? Please?

Brian Urlacher – You do know this is the biggest game of your life, right? Might want to make a play or two big fella.

Tank Johnson – He survived a whole week in South Beach without a weapons arrest. Good job Tank!

Marvin Harrison - I'm still not sure if I've ever herd this guy talk. He could talk like Busta Rhymes or that deep voiced guy from the Oak Ridge Boys and I would have no idea! Oh, and on the field...he's now at 14 career playoff games, 2 touchdowns. Not exactly Hall of Fame stuff.

Phil Simms – Solid, solid announcer.

Edgerrin James – Nice off season move out of Indy and into Arizona. Must have used his degree from “the U” to make that decision.

Ron Rivera, #2 – Peyton Manning is a pretty good player. How about he finishes the game with a jersey color NOT bright white? Might want to at least touch this guy…just once.

Chicago – The Bears still SUCK and you all still talk like there’s a sausage in your grill!


Brewers Sign Hall to Multi-Year Deal

The Brewers have avoided arbitration with Billy Hall by agreeing to a 4-year, $24 million deal with a club option for a fifth year. Considering Hall's consistent improvement and other extensions signed this off-season, this is a pretty good deal from the Brewers perspective in my opinion. It buys out the rest of his arbitration years and his first year of free agency in 2010.

My only concern - the last few arbitration guys that the Brewers have signed to multi-year deals have not worked out so well (see: Clark, Brady and the artist formerly known as Derrick Turnbow). But with Hall's natural talent, willingness to do whatever makes the team better and his work ethic, I think this one is going to turn out better than those other deals.

There - I just wrote something that has at least as much thought as whatever Mike Hunt will spit out for his next column - and I did it in about 45 seconds.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

My Favorite NFL Off-Field Incidents of 2006

As we cap off another fine NFL season today, I thought I'd list some of my favorite stories involving NFL players from the season...in no particular order.

1. The Cincinnati Bengals. These guys have set the bar sky high in 2006-07, with 9 players arrested for various reasons...including team leader Chris Henry, who I believe was trying to set a new league record for most arrests in one season. You might recall that he just got out of jail after being convicted of providing alchohol to three underage girls. One of these girls (an 18 year old) has since been arrested and charged with killing a man who owed her money for sex. Nice friends, Chris. Ladies and Gentleman, your Cincinnati Bengals!

2. Joey Porter's dogs killing his neighbor's miniature horse. When I first heard about this story I thought it was a joke. What the hell is a miniature horse? And how could a dog kill such a horse? Well, once I did some internet research, I found out that these things are freaking tiny! Anyway, good times!


Pit Bull vs. Mini Horse: No Contest

3. Mike Vick and his secret water bottle. This one was funny on a number of levels. Where does one get a water bottle with a secret weed compartment? Who does Vick think he is, 007? And how does Vick not know that you can't take a water bottle through security? Last month, SNL did a funny segment on Vick.

4. The life and times of Tank Johnson. Yeah - sending him to Miami was a good idea...no opportunity to get in trouble there.


And last, but definitely not least...


5. Lions coach Joe Cullen arrested for driving through a Wendy's drive through...naked. The Wendy's drive though attendant said that Cullen didn't do anything obscene "other than being naked at the drive-through".


Hey Joe - Do you want to supersize that?

I'm probably missing a few gems from this year, so feel free to comment on your personal favorites...

Saturday, February 3, 2007

What's Brewing?


Baseball America has a nice breakdown of the Brew Crew's minor league system including their top 10 prospects. Click Here. They rank the Brewers farm system 5th overall in MLB.

I also caught a Doug Melvin interview on “Talkin’ Brewers” on AM 620 this afternoon. Quick snippets:

-With the versatility of Graffanino and Counsell, he’s not ruling out the possibility of going with an extra outfielder (we have plenty of those) on the roster.
-Because of the glut of outfielders, why not keep Billy Hall at 3rd? Ryan Braun, that’s why. Melvin believes Braun is on the fast track and would move Hall to CF next year anyway…why not do it now?
-He basically thinks Jeff Suppan is Johan Santana.

How about that sweet logo from the 70s? Looks like Pinocchio in ballet slippers swinging a drumstick!

More Badger Press


ESPN's Pat Forde with a good article on Bucky buckets.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Favre to Return for 2007 Season

Brett Favre announced today that he'll return for the 2007 Packers season. To access the Journal Sentinel's coverage, click here. Given the alternatives, I'm glad he'll be back for another year. Now, if they can just find a deep threat and a tight end who can stretch the field...

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Random Box Score

Check this one out, circa 2002. Giants 5, Brewers 1. A random box score from the not-so-glorious Jerry Royster era. How about that Jim Rushford-Matt Stairs-Ryan Christianson outfield? Yikes! Not to mention pitching performances by this quartet: Nick Neugebauer, Mike Matthews, Dave Pember and Andrew Lorraine. No, this isn't a Double AA box score, this is the real deal.
Click to see Brewer Futility at it's worst

Official Super Bowl Picks

Let's get them on record.

Colts 31, Bears 23