Monday, April 20, 2009

8th grader says that Brewers stink...Doug Melvin agrees, decides to cancel rest of 2009 season

The boys over at RFB found a dandy of an article during their latest installment of the Brewers week in review.

Definitely a delicious little piece of internet journalism. Please check it out.

Here are some of the highlights:
I usually never admit that my team stinks, and I haven't said it about the Brewers since they really did stink, back in the early 2000's. But now I am left with no choice but to say it and not get my 2009 hopes up.
Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder have not been big boppers at the plate in '09. Those two are the key components to the offensive attack. Their ineffectiveness have been a big reason that the offense has been below average.

And then there is the disaster that has been Jeff Suppan. To be frank, "Soup" has been off, not on. He was supposed to be the No. 1 starter in the rotation for awhile, but has self-destructed by walking batters left and right.

I hate to say it, but the Milwaukee Brewers stink.

Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Season's over. Get rid of your 9 pack tickets for 40 cents on the dollar. Return your Ryan Braun jersey's to Kohl's if you can. Get ready for the Packers training camp. It's only 3 months away.

On first glance, I thought Brad had somehow sneaked away from CH and began posting over at that site, because the post was devastatingly similar to Brad's "The Brewers are done" post from May of last year, a post that needs to be brought up more often in my opinion.

But oh no...this blogger has an "about me" section. Check out the bio on this little turd:
Hey. My name is (as you can see) Curt Hogg. I'm in the 8th grade. Writing about sports is a hobby to me. I have written numerous stories about sports (mainly baseball). I decided to join Bleacher Report because it looked like a place that I could display and improve my sports writing skills, as that is my dream job.

Ahhh...the dreams of America's youth!

Now, I've never beaten up an 8th grader before (actually, I've never been in a fight...but regardless) but if anybody sees Mr. Curt Hogg at Miller Park this year please pick him up, take him to the nearest Port O John, and stuff him down the hole face first. This donkey needs a little lesson on the subject of "sample size."

I don't think an 8th grader has ever been named Billups of the Week, but Mr. Hogg just might be the first!


Tim said...

On one hand, my immediate reaction is to make fun of this guy for something totally unrelated to the point he is trying to make. On the other hand, the fact that he still lives with his parents is perfectly normal, so I'm pretty much out of ammo.

Except for the walks, the pitching is well above any expectation that I had.

Anonymous said...

He's a better blogger than WV though - you have to at least give him that.

spanky said...

The kid used some pretty nice vocab skills, and as much as I hate to say it he is pretty dead on with his assessment of the beginning of '09

DOGY said...

Beat up an 8th grader???? What are we, White Sox fans!?!?!

lofty said...

His vocab skills are pretty decent...he didn't use "sneaked up" so he's got that going for him.....which is nice.

Ron said...

Wow, this kid sure doesn't know how to write, but I found his new blog here.

Anonymous said...

How stupid do you look now? THIS KID BROKE THE BRAUN STORY