Another Schroeder Post

Top of the 6th, 5-0 St Louis, a wild pitch puts Cardinal runners on 2nd and 3rd. The camera shows Macha in the dugout and the following dialog takes place:

Brian: "Macha, wondering what he has to do here."

Bill: "Well, not much he can do. It's not up to him once he fills in that lineup card."

Really, Bill...REALLY? You do know the Brewers moved to the NL, right? Hell, if it's that easy, maybe Kenny can just turn in the lineup card and take a nap for 3 hours. Or perhaps I can take over innings 2-8, that would be fun.

Really, Bill?

Introducing...the Bill Schroeder Commentary Drinking Game!

Similar to the "24" drinking game in which you take a shot every time Jack Bauer yells "Dammit" or "We're out of time! Give me a name!" or tortures a suspected terrorist...I'd like to try out an experiment before the all star break. I'm interested in how trashed one could get watching a Brewer game and taking a drink every time Bill Schroeder says one of the following:

"Where did that miss?"

"My Goodness..."

"Are you kidding me?"

"You betcha partner (said to Anderson)."

I'm confident there are a solid dozen shots each night if we stick with these original rules. If you'd like to expand on the game and report back your findings...we'd love to hear it.

Enjoy your beverages.

Goldy's Random Takes

Well, the wife is watching some stupid stuff on TV, so now is as good a time as any to bore you with the random crap that pops up in my head from time to time.

• Random teams I am a fan of: Houston Oilers (this has not carried over to the Titans), Toronto Blue Jays, Montreal Canadians, Golden State Warriors, Quebec Nordiques, Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Angles.
• I went to high school and started college at the height of the grunge movement. Thus chicks wore baggy pants and flannels, sweatshirts, or polo shirts. I think people my age lost out on the slut look. But we did win in terms of some great music. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be some high on my horse music critic. I could pretty much listen to a loop of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and Alice In Chains with some Beasties sprinkled in. It should be an interesting fall with new albums from PJ and the Beastie Boys as well as a rumored album from Alice In Chains. To be honest, I loved Layne Staley's singing, but the new guy isn't terrible. Plus by the end, Layne was so fucked up that Jerry Cantrell took over a good portion of the singing duties. Unfortunately, everything Nirvana has already been released.
  
• Having mentioned all of the above here are some completely random bands I don't mind listening to (and may be the subject of a "Dave Parker Random CD of the Week" at some point): At the Drive-In; Arcade Fire; Matisyahu; Crowded House; Alison Krauss; Godsmack; Wolfmother; Vampire Weekend; Triumph; MGMT; Liam Finn; Local H.
  
• The group Sudden Impact. What can you tell me about them?
• I really don't give a shit about the Braun/Melvin dust up. Braun shouldn't have said what he said, but he did. Doesn't bother me. The unfortunate thing is that this is all you will hear about until the All-Star break.
• If you have some time on your hands, watch some Brandon Jennings clips on YouTube. You will be sold on this guy. I don't think he will be the man out of the gate, but the guy has style that could put people in the seats. I am not calling the Bucks a play-off team but I feel they are going in the right direction.
• Now that I mentioned the Bucks, a handfull of assholes will feel the need to say something about how much they hate the Bucks and their only reason for waking up tomorrow morning is the hope that the Bucks move out of town.
• I have 3 Richard Jefferson bobbleheads if anyone wants one.
  
• I think a lot of it has to do with the amount I am working this summer, but I am not living and dying with every Brewers game like I did last season. That could change after attending back to back games on Thursday and Friday.
• Some of my best memories of my life involve sitting down the 3rd base line at County. For some reason, my Dad and I always sat on that side. That place has been gone for 9 years now, but everything still seems clear in my mind. That's half the fun of Watching Major League. Yah, it's a great movie, but getting able to see County every time you watch it is awesome.
• Hats for bats!
• I suck at golf. However, if I played more than once a month, I am pretty sure I would shave about 10 strokes off my score. I just have no feel and I have no clue how far my approach shots are going. I think it would help if I played Ives Grove as well.
  
• Little green home run heeter.
• Went to Summerfest once this year. As always, some interesting folks there. Dropkick Murphys were great. The Offspring were about as exciting as a bag of dicks.
• I am a fan of Megan Fox.
• Played in a 3-on-3 basketball tourney this weekend. Good times. Thankfully everyone there was in their early 30's and we all crapped out at the same time.
  
• Brewers will keep it interesting into September, but they just don't have the horses to win a division that is there for the taking. According to Richard Justice, the Astros have all the tools, so I am just waiting for them to put it all together and run away with the division. Oh, that's right, they suck.
  
• Does Trenni even exist on the MLB network anymore? Has Woz kidnapped her?
• 'Til next time, good night and good bowling everybody.
  

Ranking the Brewers - Badass Edition

With Ryan Braun's public tongue-lashing of poor Seth McClung and Mike Burns, it got me to thinking - Seth McClung is probably one of the last guys on Milwaukee's 25-man roster that I'd go after if I were going to pick on someone. Not that I'd pick on any of them. I wouldn't. Because I'm quite small.

In any event, here's my top 5 Brewers as far as guys I wouldn't pick on if I were a normal or above-normal-sized man with a propensity for fisticuffs:

5. Chris Smith. Something about that man screams "I have a knife stashed on my person somewhere and I have used it to filet much larger people than you." I don't know what it is, but I'm wary.

4. Casey McGehee. I can only assume that McGehee has the capability of pounding 14 beers and then pounding your face into a pool table. Or training table. Or card table. Really, any old table.

3. Seth McClung. This wookie would do some damage if angry. 6 feet 7 inches of red rage. Braun is probably watching his back tonight.

2. Jason Kendall. He would break your arm and then whip you with it. I don't care if he's 85 years old, he'll still be able to beat the crap out of you because he feels no pain. It's fact.

1. Prince Fielder. Just look what he did to poor Parra. His brain is still broken and it's been a year.

EDIT

While I was at it I thought I'd throw out the top 3 guys on the Brewers 25-man roster who I might pick on (again, assuming the normal/above-normal size and whatnot):

23. Mat Gamel. I'm willing to bet he'd forget we were in a fight or otherwise lose interest within a minute or two. Or he'd show up late.

24. Craig Counsell. He's just too nice a guy to get into a physical altercation. Though he is gritty.

25. Bill Hall. Can't hit righties. Heyoooo! I'm here all week.

Braun: McClung and Burns Suck, Help Wanted

Ryan Braun, not pulling punches again.

Should the Brewers make a trade for a starting pitcher?

"I wish I got to make decisions like that," Braun said with a smile. "I wish I was in those conversations. I know he’s trying to make our ball club better. I know he recognizes the importance of making a move and making it soon.

"At the same, I think everybody has recognized there are a lot of teams still in the race. There are not too many teams willing to give guys up and if they are, the asking price is pretty high.

"That being said, it would be nice to make a move and it would be nice to do something to help us out for the time being. The sooner we do it, the better."

Why trade for a starter?

Braun said the Cubs' starting pitchers are "a lot better than ours."

"They threw the ball a lot better than our starters did," said Braun. "They certainly swung the bats better than we did as well. Clearly, they were the better team.

"It was nice to at least get one win but they clearly outplayed us and outperformed us during the series."

"Their starting pitching was clearly a lot better than ours in this series. All four guys we saw in this series are No. 1, worst-case, No. 2 type starters. They make big pitches in big situations. You’re not always going to get hits in those situations."

A decent point - when you're outplayed by the 4th place team in the division over the course of a 4-game series, you might want to consider some changes to shore up some weaknesses.

But Ryan, Dave Bush is hurt and Manny Parra's brain is broken!

"Regardless of the reasons, we’ve got to find a way to throw the ball a little bit better for us to have success. When you’re constantly behind in games, it’s not easy and not fun."

I sure hope Ryan hasn't hurt the feelings of Seth McClung or Mike Burns. That would be a shame.

Showbiz Drinks Chuck E. Cheese's Milkshake

Best video ever featuring the Showbiz Pizza band. You need to go about a minute and a half in to the video to catch Billy Bob and the gorilla. Growing up, the Showbiz on 27th Street by 894 was the pizza/video game/skee-ball/animatronic show of choice. Blew Chuck E. Cheese out of the water. It was pretty heady stuff for a kid from Racine. By the way, this video is similar to what goes on in the Goldy backyard on a typical Saturday. Matt can confirm. Complete with the Saint Bernard.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th. Safe travels. Have fun.

God Bless The CFL

Love the CFL. It's even more awesome after this: After scoring the first CFL touchdown of the new season, a player for the Toronto Rocket Ismails took off his helmet, jersey, and shoulder pads - laid down in the end zone and mimicked being buried. Why? A tribute to Michael Jackson. Seriously. Top that Ochocinco and T.O.!

The league is looking into the matter for possible fines/suspensions.

Best Rap Song From a Terrible Movie - Ever

Sweep the Mets!

Good Call Bob

I know that some people complain about Bob Uecker these days regarding his play by play. And I'll admit that he seems to have more and more trouble with losing balls hit into the outfield as time goes by.

But the man still knows how to make a big call - his call of last night's McGehee "redeemer" grand slam was a classic, in my opinion.

Does anyone know how many career grand slams McGehee has?

The Mets

They are just brutal right now. That line-up is just terrible. Well, outside of the 9th inning.

Congrats To The 2009 NL Central Champs - YOUR Milwaukee Brewers

Tear down that silly Wild Card pennant, here comes the big boy - the real deal. It's gonna happen. The Brewers WILL win the NL Central this year, and here's 5 reasons why.

1) The NL Central itself. Not exactly breaking news here, but this division is very, very winnable. St Louis? Come on, that team defines "smoke and mirrors." The Cubs can't seem to get out of their own way and everybody else is generally crappy.

2) I forgot what #2 was gonna be, but I'm sure it was fantastic.

3) July 20th - August 30th. Take a look at the Brewers schedule between these dates. Holy crap. I know the schedule all evens out at the end, and September looks tough....but holy crap! One series against a team over .500. Here are those series' with current team record:

@ Pitt: 36-41
Atlanta: 36-40
Washington (4 gamer): 22-52
@ San Diego: 33-42
@ Dodgers: 49-28
@ Houston: 36-38
San Diego: 33-42
Houston: 36-38
@ Pitt: 36-41
@ Washington (4 gamer): 22-52
Cinci: 37-38
Pitt: 36-41

Good lord! That's 8 against the Natty's and 9 vs Pittsburgh, if you're scoring at home. That's some serious Mo' going into the stretch run.

4) Bully. "Our bully runs deep, so deep, so deep it put her butt to sleep..." Sorry, that was stupid. It's deeper than usual with a bunch of guys having career years. Their buttons are correctly being pushed by...

5) ...Kenny Macha. He won't fold up like an accordion at the end of the year like the Brewers last "manager," Neddy Yost. Macha's been there before. By the way, what's Nedly up to these days?

There you have it - done deal. Milwaukee Brewers, 2009 NL Central champs.

It's FAAAAAAAANTASTIC!!

I heard someone on the radio project the Bucks lineup to be:

PG - Ramon Sessions
SG - Mike Redd (Coming off an ACL)
SF - Luc Richard
PF - Kurt Thomas
C - Dandy Andy Bogut (Off a back injury)

2nd String:
PG - Ridnour/Jennings
SG - Chuck Bell
SF - Joe Alexander
PF - Malik Allen
C - Danny G

Am I wrong in saying this looks like complete dumpster fire? You have one scorer (Redd) out of the whole bunch. He should love it though...he'll get about 32 shots per game.

This is beginning to have all the makings of a great draft pick

After reading this, I ask you to google a photo of Brandon Jennings and his Young Money tattoo. He is rocking a nice fade in the photo on Deadspin and one of the comments asked something along the lines of "Wasn't he the guy killed at the end of Juice?" That comment slayed me.

Hammond said he did not want to elaborate on the reasons behind the free agent decisions. But he did address another issue facing the team this week: Jennings' involvement in a profanity-laced and provocative video clip that was posted on the Web site YouTube.

"We are aware of the story," Hammond said. "This is a team matter, and we've been in contact with Brandon regarding it."

The clip, which showed rapper Joe Budden having a speakerphone conversation with someone identified as Jennings, had been removed as of Monday afternoon.

But according to a partial transcript of the clip posted on sportingnews.com, Jennings said he was confident that Sessions would not return to the team, boasted that he would beat out Luke Ridnour for the Bucks' starting point guard job and made a profane comment about the New York Knicks for not drafting him.

"He did not know he was being taped and it's already been addressed to Brandon by the Milwaukee Bucks as well as Bill Duffy and BDA Sports," said Ilana Nunn, spokeswoman for Jennings' agency. "When you're not told your being taped, you don't know what's going on."

Jennings previously had mentioned his friendship with Budden on his Twitter account, which had been taken down as of Monday afternoon.

The incident could raise questions about the maturity of Jennings, who decided to play professionally in Italy instead of going to college.

And Jennings apparently was wrong about Sessions' future with the team.

The ever exciting Brewers work outing

Went to the game tonight as part of our yearly work outing at the Brewers game. It was a good game to go to, except I was very worried that all the opportunities squandered early on were going to come back and bit the Brewers. We had decent seats and were right by McGehee when he dropped the pop up. To be honest, I looked away because I assumed he was going to catch the ball. I saw the highlights once I got home and I am still not sure how he dropped the ball.

Anyhow, getting back to the work aspect, it is always exciting to see the random people that show up to this thing.

• You have the ladies that know absolutely nothing and are taking photos the whole time and spend most of the game with their back to the field chatting up those around them. They tend to get up to go get some food in the middle of an AB. Tonight it was with 2 outs and 2 guys on for the Mets when the game was tight.
  
• You have the guy with some baseball knowledge who feels like he needs to broadcast all he knows to the whole section. Unfortunately I didn't hear anyone tell the group that JJ Hardy is a great fastball hitter.
• You have the a-hole who is on his cell phone discussing work projects. That was me for a half an inning tonight.
  
• You have the guy asking why everyone boos Sheffield. From that point on he boos Sheffield and still doesn't have a complete guess as to why.
  
• You have the people whose highlight of the night was doing the wave.
• You have the people who complain about beer prices. Yah, beer is expensive at a baseball game. If you don't want to pay that much, don't drink at the game.
• Finally, you have the true measure of every non-baseball fan. Those who boo when a player on the Brewers gets an intentional walk.
  

The French Defense Tightens Up; Holds US Under 80

In something called the Junior World Championship of American Football, the US took France behind the woodshed and squeaked out a 78-0 victory. Oh, and the yardage totals? 610-7.

In other action, Canada beat New Zealand 55-0, and Sweden lost to Mexico 41-0. I pray that the Kiwis and Swedes are off the US schedule. The US might reach triple digits by halftime.

Remember Ping-Pong Diplomacy from US history class? Well, we got destroyed. Maybe we should start American Football Diplomacy with North Korea. We'll give them 2 yard to get a first down, and we'll only have 6 guys on offense. That could sooth relationships!

Chuckie Hacks: Your forum for ingenious political solutions!

Rodgers Taking It To The Next Level

Off the field, at least. What's next but an SI swimsuit model! Her name is Julie Henderson, and she's a grapefruit heiress (insert melons joke here) and smokin hot. Take a look.

Just like Aaron's 2008 season, there's an problem. This situation (Julie) looks spectacular on the surface (2008 stats) - but there's an issue (final drives). Mrs Henderson was previously hooking up with....Russell Simmons?!? I know, I know...he's a heavy hitter with more money than God, but....I mean....just...click on this. Rodgers is rolling with the girl who was just banging a 51 year old, 5'8" (she's 5'-10"), African-American? Going from Simmons to Rodgers is just way too extreme for any normal person. It's like the driver of Big Foot driving a Toyota Prius in his spare time. She has to be crazy. Batshit crazy. Still hot, but crazy.