Monday, June 8, 2009

Take This Man's Computer Away. Immediately.

This is one of the dumbest things written in a long line of dumb things churned out by the St. Louis newspaper or its online cesspool. Goldy found it, but I'm going to rant on it.

Entitled "Brewers Keep Cubs and Cards Alive", the piece scolds Milwaukee for not burying (his word, not mine) the Cubs and the Cardinals in the division race yet. On June 8. Among the atrocities cited by this fool (I'm told he's called "Gordo"):

  • The Brewers blew a late lead at Atlanta Sunday and lost 8-7, missing an opportunity to sweep the punchless Braves.
  • Milwaukee opened the season by losing eight of their first 11 games.
  • In late May, they lost five of six games during a brief stretch.
  • More recently they lost three times in a four-game series at Florida.

Gordo finished his little rant with the following:

Had they avoided such downturns – the bane of every manager’s existence — the Brewers would own this division right now.

Holy hell. Alert! Captain Obvious is speaking! No shit? So if the Brewers would have won every game since the beginning of the season, those other teams in the NL Central would really be in trouble? Really?

In an upset, there was no mention of the shirt un-tucking. But I'm sure he thinks that if the Brewers weren't so darn arrogant they'd be leading the division by 30 games right now.

It's official - St. Louis has the worst sports writers in the world. Perhaps the universe.

11 comments:

AP said...

By the way, the St. Louis Pujols' are losing 4-1 to the Rockies right now in the 6th, and they are facing a 4 game sweep at home to a team that came into town 11 games under.

Had they avoided sucking so much, they could've buried the Brewers. I'm completely amazed that Tyler Greene & Brendan Ryan were not able to generate much offense.

wv23 said...

the logic, however, is flawless. without flaws.

Corky Thatcher said...

I thought I was a retard...

ClownShipLollypop said...

At least we don't have pussy infielders missing 2 weeks because they need fucking Paxil.

Hey Kahlil, your balls are in Pujols purse.

AP said...

Ok, that was funny.

I laughed, Clown.

garcia said...

Boy, the shit that city produces could fill Canada. Why do they care so much about the Crew? Are they pissed because Zack Greinke and KC are a bigger story than they are?

Hey Tony! Way to sue Twitter for that fake account about you! I hope it didn't really ruin your reputation like you said it did. Now you and Kahlil can go butt fuck each other and feel sorry for yourselves for sucking!

Goldy said...

Comments like the ones here are one of the reasons why I enjoy being part of this blog. They all made me chuckle.

Lance's Other Nut said...

I didn't do the fake twitter thing, but I definitely made Hancock and Kile jokes when I sat above the St. Louis bullpen last year...

/never claimed to be classy

garcia said...

One last comment on the piece of garbage reporting...

The Cards have a .494 SOS. That is in the bottom 10 in MLB. Why don't they rip on themselves for not closing out the division? Oh, Ok... they'll blame it on injuries... I see...

The Brewers? .506 SOS. That is in the top ten in MLB. It actually seems that the Crew has done more with their schedule than the pitiful cards! Why don't they yell at the Mets for not closing out their division? They have the 4th lowest SOS and the Phillies have the 6th lowest! They should be undefeated too, just like the Brewers should be (According to Shit Louis Today).

Matt said...

Check out the number of road games the Brewers and Cardinals have played to date as well.

Brewers have played something like 32 road games already - I think St. Louis is sitting around 24.

Just dumb.

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