Are Great Nicknames Extinct?

"Take THAT, JR Ried!" says Lohaus

With the Aaron Rodgers era upon us, we're sure to hear him referred to as "A-Rodg," oh, about 34,981 times this year. Shortening some one's name is not a nickname, that's lame: A-Rod, K-Rod, D-Wade, KGB...lame ass nicknames. So are ones using the word "Big." Big Hurt, Big Unit, Big Papi...whatever. What happened to the days of "Oil Can" Boyd, and "Refrigerator" Perry. Now those were unique. Here's a list of some truly great nicknames for Wisconsin athletes of my era.

Ahmad "Grabby Smurf/Highway 28" Carroll
- Take your pick, these are two outstanding nicknames for this atrocious cornerback.

Brad "Vanilla Gorilla" Lohaus
- A shooting guard trapped inside a 7-foot body. Who didn't love Lohaus? Well, the people who tried to buy fishing rods on eBay from him, that's who. Send him the rods Vanilla, send him the rods.

Dave "Sledgehammer" Parker
- Come on, admit it....watching Parker in the on-deck circle warming up with an actual sledgehammer was pretty sweet.

Greg "Cadillac" Anderson
- Got his nickname because his first car was a Volkswagen...sort of like the bald, fat guy in your bowling league known as "Tiny."

Mike "Hedgehog" Newkirk
- Not sure if this is a real nickname, but that's what Badger freak Train at work calls him. Good enough for me, and good enough to take this one public.

Joel "The Eraser" Pryzbilla
- He pretty much sucked with the Bucks, so I think he got this nickname Portland. I liked it enough to use it on Greg Stiemsma as well.

Frankie "Ol' Bag O Donuts" Winters
- Do they get any better than this? I think not, even if he hung around 3 years too long because he was Brett's buddy. That guy held on every other play towards the end of his career.

Ed "Toolbox" West
- Not sure how this one stuck because West only did one thing well: block.

Brian "Polar Bear" Butch
- Man, I love Steve Lavin. This one's classic.

Joe "Vanilla Sky" Alexander
- All based on potential. The Bucks new draft pick is a white guy with like a 44 inch vertical. This nickname has major staying power.

I'm sure I missed a bunch, let me know.