Thursday, August 7, 2008

Are Great Nicknames Extinct?


"Take THAT, JR Ried!" says Lohaus

With the Aaron Rodgers era upon us, we're sure to hear him referred to as "A-Rodg," oh, about 34,981 times this year. Shortening some one's name is not a nickname, that's lame: A-Rod, K-Rod, D-Wade, KGB...lame ass nicknames. So are ones using the word "Big." Big Hurt, Big Unit, Big Papi...whatever. What happened to the days of "Oil Can" Boyd, and "Refrigerator" Perry. Now those were unique. Here's a list of some truly great nicknames for Wisconsin athletes of my era.

Ahmad "Grabby Smurf/Highway 28" Carroll
- Take your pick, these are two outstanding nicknames for this atrocious cornerback.

Brad "Vanilla Gorilla" Lohaus
- A shooting guard trapped inside a 7-foot body. Who didn't love Lohaus? Well, the people who tried to buy fishing rods on eBay from him, that's who. Send him the rods Vanilla, send him the rods.

Dave "Sledgehammer" Parker
- Come on, admit it....watching Parker in the on-deck circle warming up with an actual sledgehammer was pretty sweet.

Greg "Cadillac" Anderson
- Got his nickname because his first car was a Volkswagen...sort of like the bald, fat guy in your bowling league known as "Tiny."

Mike "Hedgehog" Newkirk
- Not sure if this is a real nickname, but that's what Badger freak Train at work calls him. Good enough for me, and good enough to take this one public.

Joel "The Eraser" Pryzbilla
- He pretty much sucked with the Bucks, so I think he got this nickname Portland. I liked it enough to use it on Greg Stiemsma as well.

Frankie "Ol' Bag O Donuts" Winters
- Do they get any better than this? I think not, even if he hung around 3 years too long because he was Brett's buddy. That guy held on every other play towards the end of his career.

Ed "Toolbox" West
- Not sure how this one stuck because West only did one thing well: block.

Brian "Polar Bear" Butch
- Man, I love Steve Lavin. This one's classic.

Joe "Vanilla Sky" Alexander
- All based on potential. The Bucks new draft pick is a white guy with like a 44 inch vertical. This nickname has major staying power.

I'm sure I missed a bunch, let me know.

21 comments:

Todd said...

Javon "Las Vegas" Walker
Robert "Tractor" Traylor
Darvin Ham "slam bitch"
Jeff "The Icon" Cirillo
Marc Newfield of Dreams
Tim "six shooter" Harris
Brent Fumblewood
Jeff "White Lightening" Query
Jeff "Big Daddy" D'Amico

Goldy said...

Lohaus also took over ownership of long-time college bar and great pizza joint in Iowa City, The Airliner, and ran it into the ground. He also had eyes for the college ladies.

Todd said...

Phil "scrap iron" Garner
Davey "no hopes" Lopes
Ryan "the spoon" Pickett
Gilbert "the gravedigger" Brown
William "boogeyman" Henderson
Santana "atomic dog" Dotson
Terrell "the vaccinator" Buckley
Herbert "whisper" Goodman
Najeh "dookie" Davenport
Daniel "Bubba" Franks
Jeff "The Nuke" Juden
No Blitz Fritz Sherman
Robert "Turd" Ferguson
Gary "the Shaq of the MAC" Trent
Reggie "the minister of defense" White

brad said...

Darvin Ham "slam bitch" LOL!

Todd said...

Ed "no pants" mccants
Boo's your daddy Davis
Travis Diener, Diener, fifth year senior
Charlie "smooth chocolate" Villaneuva
Mike "the walrus" Holmgren
Paul "The Ignitor" Molitor
Don "Majik Man" Majkowski
Anthony "the wizard" Dilwig
Vince "Pookie" Workman
Armon "The Hammer" Gilliam
Theodore "blue" Edwards
Victor "The Count" Santos
Carlos "El Cabello" Lee
Vonnie "Chocolate Thunder" Holliday
Jim "Gumby" Ganter
Edgar "Ned" Yost

Todd said...

Ray "BYOB" King
Sean "Dingle" Berry

AP said...

Darren "bad angle" Sharper

Moustache Mike Maddox

John Stocco Taco

Teddy Ballgame

D'Amicos one good year said...

Side note; this link leads to a good article-

http://www.cracked.com/article_16534_11-baseball-legends-who-were-legendary-assholes.html

Anonymous said...

Eldrick "Tiger" Woods

Not so anonymous Jake said...

Brooks "The Toolshed" Kieschnick
Robert "Graphics is Tight" Brooks
"Captain" Jack Voight
Marty "Ugly Shot" Conlon
Mike "The Predator" McKenzie
Edgar "The Mudder" Bennett
Fred "Flat Top" Roberts
Colin "Don't drop the ball, make the call" Cole

ClownShipLollypop. said...

Michael "Ron Mexico" Vick

ClownShipLollypop. said...

Ned "The cork sucker" Yost

Travis said...

Todd, that is a great list. Way to take a solid post idea (maybe the first ever) from Brad and make it look like a monkey put it together. Nice work.

Daniel said...

Chuck "the unguided missile" Cecil

D'Amicos one good year said...

A classic and obvious one is Gran-ma-ma for Larry Johnson; I always wondered if that was an organic nickname or one created simply for the marketing push....

D'Amicos one good year said...

Hernan "Hurricane" Iribarren. I love that one.

D'Amicos one good year said...

Sam "The Alien" Cassell.
Dan "Gadzooks!" Gadzuric
Ervin "Tragic" Johnson

Anonymous said...

nothing several miller lites on a thursday night can't contribute to!

Todd

Anonymous said...

Rick "Pepe the King Prawn" Rickert

Phatty said...

Deon "Prime Time" Sanders-Football
Deon "Fine Time" Sanders-Baseball
Rod "He Hate Me" Smart
Kenny "The Snake" Stabler
Mark "Stink" Schlereth
and
Dr. Mike "Your Big for Your Breed" Hanson

garcia said...

Ruben "the biscuit" Quevedo