Thursday, September 6, 2007

One More Green Bay Prediction


Ah, yes - the Hardy Nickerson era.

Since Goldy threw out his predictions, I guess I'll step up too. We know that Brad has the team hovering between 8-8 and 16-0, but I'm a little less optimistic. Here goes.

vs. Eagles

How's this for an equation on opening day? Crazy Jim Johnson blitzes + unproven/untested backs and receivers reading said blitzes = bad offense. Sprinkle in a little Donovan McNabb and a couple of Favreballs thrown to Eagles defensive backs and you get the recipe for a loss. Potentially an ugly one. Hopefully Freddy Mitchell won't be involved. Loss

@ Giants

I kind of think the Giants might surprise some folks this year. I'm already sick of listening to Tiki talk since he retired and I hardly pay attention to him. These poor saps had to listen to this clown day in and day out for the past decade. A refreshed Giants pull out a close one in New Jersey. Loss

San Diego

I can think of several circumstances in which Green Bay might win this game. Sadly, they involve catastrophic events affecting the Chargers, including plane crashes, mass steroid suspensions or dog fighting. If San Diego can walk the straight and narrow through week 3 and their transportation doesn't fail them, this is a Loss.

@ Vikings

Hmm. Green Bay appears to have lost that dome-phobia that pained them earlier in the decade. However, assuming neither QB throws a TD to the other team, this has all the makings of a 6-3 or 3-0 game. I'm going with the veteran kicker in Longwell. Loss.

Bears

Normally, I'd have given Green Bay a fighting chance in this one. However, last week in my Sports Illustrated NFL Preview (66 PAGES OF SCOUTING REPORTS!!!) I read something that made me choke on my Corn Chex. And I quote: "Asked if he thinks that the Packers are better than the Bears today, Driver says yes: "Remember - we owned that division for three years, before [2005]."" Oooookay. Regardless of what we think of Donald's logic (love the attitude, but really - who really cares about 2002 - 2005?) that might not have been the best thing to say. Don't think that one's not on the bulletin board in Chicago. I'm guessing that the Bears attempt to once again exhibit their dominance of the NFC North. Loss.

Washington

This team blows. Green Bay will avoid an 0-6 start. Win.

Bye

In an upset, Green Bay will avoid losing a game this week.

@ Denver

Another upset! Favre's last Monday Night game will be too big a stage for poor Jay Cutler. Travis Henry is embroiled in paternity suits from Arizona to Maine. Ted Thompson travels with the team in another attempt to finally crush Javon Walker. An inspiring Win in the unlikeliest place. Two in a row!

@ Kansas City

Alas, like young teams are prone to do, they fall flat on their face against what should be an inferior opponent. Playing down to the competition, Favre does his best Brodie Croyle impression while Brandon Jackson isn't even a reasonable facsimile of LJ. Loss.

vs. Minnesota


Tavaris Jackson may still be the QB of the Vikings, which would be a very good thing. Robert Ferguson gets a good laugh in the locker room before the game by telling his Vikings teammates that Lambeau is still "his house". Unfortunately for Fergie, the Vikings are terrible, and Green Bay returns the favor with a 6-3 win of their own. Win.

vs. Carolina

They can't string a couple of wins together, unfortunately. I like Carolina to surprise this year as a team, and they'll handle Green Bay rather easily in Lambeau. No sign of Cocktail Kerry Collins means a Packers Loss.

@ Detroit (Thanksgiving)

This one feels bad to me. If we could just throw Detroit's backs and receivers onto Green Bay's roster, that team might challenge in the NFC. Alas, one of these teams has to win, and I'll take Detroit for no good reason at all. Loss.

@ Dallas

Don't see a win here. There's about a 40% chance that T.O. is still playing by week 12, but it still looks like Dallas to me. Loss.

Oakland

This team is more like Green Bay than many people want to admit around here. They just didn't have a QB or a real, live coach last year. Great defense, no offense - just like Green Bay. Plus, there's a definite addition-by-subtraction Randy Moss factor going on in Oakland. I'm feeling a loss here for the Packers. They may get shut out. Loss.

@ St. Louis

As Goldy mentioned, good things don't typically happen at St. Louis for the Packers. Favre probably won't throw 7 interceptions in this game, but Steve Jackson is an absolute beast and Bulger ain't bad either. On the plus side, Green Bay might crack 80 yards in rushing offense. Loss.

@ Chicago

We're in full Darren McFadden mode right now - the fans can almost smell that #1 overall pick at 3-11. Which means, if history is any guide, that Green Bay will win this game. Win.

Detroit

Having just ruined their chance at the #1 overall pick, Green Bay polishes off Detroit, which has the sense to just lay down and die at the end of their 3-13 campaign. Green Bay finishes strong with a Win.

There you have it - 5-11 is my tally on the year. Actually one or two more wins than I thought I'd give them. This is a really young team and will be inconsistent, as evidenced by the fact that they win at Denver but lose at home to Oakland. Oh - and they may not run for 1,000 yards as a team.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

5-11 and you call yourself a fan?!?!

matt said...

I took my green and gold glasses off when doing these predictions. Clearly, anonymous is still wearing them and is probably drunk on the Ted Thompson Kool-Aid.

Wrigleyville said...

the philly media wasn't impressed with the pack. of course, they were even less impressed with the eagels.

brutal media here in PA.