Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ping Pong, Anyone?

The NBA draft lottery is tonight, and your Milwaukee Bucks have a 1.0% chance of getting the number 1 pick and, perhaps, Blake Griffith. Sacramento has the best odds (%25). Whatever. I'm proposing a different kind of selection show - the Bucks Relocation Lottery. Here, we use scientific formulas and ping pong balls to determine the relocation destination for the Bucks. It's inevitable, Bucks fans...I'm just here to direct the moving vans. Odds:

  • 40% Seattle - Just lost the Sonics, but the NBA promised them a new one in a few years.
  • 25% Las Vegas - NBA players + Vegas = Awesomness.
  • 15% Kansas City - I guess they've already built a new arena to bring in an NBA squad.
  • 8% Tulsa - Because Oklahoma City needs a rival, right? Wichita, perhaps?
  • 5% Memphis - Seems like a good basketball city. Wait....they already have a team? Really? My bad.
  • 3% Harlem - Just schedule NBA games at Rucker Park. That would be sweet.
  • 2% Pleasant Prairie - Remember when MJ wanted to buy the Bucks and move them to Northern Chicago? Here’s his chance.
  • 1% Hickory, Indiana - Then sign Jimmy Chitwood, the Butcher boys, and Ollie. They instantly the most popular team in the league.
  • 1% Nome, Alaska - Chances of landing a megastar free agent are just as good as Milwaukee's - nil.


Larry Harris said...

I would have agreed in March that the Bucks will move.

But, the team came in 20-22nd in terms of total revenue this year. While the team may struggle, have a league worst arena and an unenthusiastic fanbase, it aint that bad.

The Kings will move back to KC or Seattle. They are in the worst shape in the league. And the Hornets have bigger lease problems than the Bucks.

Vegas will not occur as long as Stern is in charge. All Star weekend was a disaster a few years back.

I with Mike Hunt in thinking that the Potowatami will help foot the bill for some new digs, along with an aging Sen. Kohl who will want to give back to his town and team.

Lloyd Christmas said...


"So you're telling me there's a chance"

Lloyd Christmas


D'Amico's one good year said...

If they do move, I hope it's to Seattle. It would be payback for the Pilots, and, honestly, Seattle's a MUCH better basketball city than Milwaukee. They didn't lose the team out of apathy. They lost the Sonics because they stood up to the bullshit bullying of the NBA and David Stern is a miserable shitfucker for letting OKC steal that team.

David Stern, die in a fire.

garcia said...

Why can't we have a professional team in Montana or Idaho or Puerto Rico? The Butte Bucks or the Boise Bucks might work better out there anyway...

milwaukee resident said...

I'll be pissed if I have to spend a dime on a new Bucks arena.

Anonymous said...

chances of drafting a small forward who is too weak to play in the paint but still lacks a reliable 18 footer: 100 percent