The NBA draft lottery is tonight, and your Milwaukee Bucks have a 1.0% chance of getting the number 1 pick and, perhaps, Blake Griffith. Sacramento has the best odds (%25). Whatever. I'm proposing a different kind of selection show - the Bucks Relocation Lottery. Here, we use scientific formulas and ping pong balls to determine the relocation destination for the Bucks. It's inevitable, Bucks fans...I'm just here to direct the moving vans. Odds:
- 40% Seattle - Just lost the Sonics, but the NBA promised them a new one in a few years.
- 25% Las Vegas - NBA players + Vegas = Awesomness.
- 15% Kansas City - I guess they've already built a new arena to bring in an NBA squad.
- 8% Tulsa - Because Oklahoma City needs a rival, right? Wichita, perhaps?
- 5% Memphis - Seems like a good basketball city. Wait....they already have a team? Really? My bad.
- 3% Harlem - Just schedule NBA games at Rucker Park. That would be sweet.
- 2% Pleasant Prairie - Remember when MJ wanted to buy the Bucks and move them to Northern Chicago? Here’s his chance.
- 1% Hickory, Indiana - Then sign Jimmy Chitwood, the Butcher boys, and Ollie. They instantly the most popular team in the league.
- 1% Nome, Alaska - Chances of landing a megastar free agent are just as good as Milwaukee's - nil.