How Will Life Ever Continue?

With the news that Ohio State and Michigan (Wisconsin, too) have cut the printing of Media Guides out of their budgets, CBSSportsline's Dennis Dodd (who I like) goes slightly overboard. Slightly. Let me count the ways:

1) The post title is "The end of Western Civilization."

2) First sentence: "It has begun, the great unraveling of a literate society." At this point, I'm giggling while Dodd is being sarcastic, right?

3) Predictably, coach's salaries come into play: " In related news, ADs Bill Martin and Gene Smith aren't going to take a pay cut. Rich Rodriguez and Jim Tressel will continue to be millionaires."

4) "Put everything on the Internet. Fine." Great idea, I was going to bring this up.

5) "We're a power outage away from losing the history of a sport." Um, really? Probably not. This is getting out of control.

6) No, NOW it's out of control: "There's a reason the Vatican puts its library treasures in hermetically sealed vaults. They value the church's history. Major-college sports is trying to lose theirs." Wow. Kent State media guide, The Bible....Kent State media guide, The Bible....

7) "But if I were the sports information director who used to edit and publish guides, I'd be worried. You're next. Really, this is a big part of their job. They spend months organizing these guides. " Sounds like a pretty cake job with a decent salary and outstanding state benefits...probably don't need them anyway!

8) "That's what it has come in major college sports. They've hampered our ability to do our jobs, unless we would happen to pay the appropriate rights fees."

9) "Make us pay for our seats in the press box. Don't feed us while we're there working for eight hours. Turn off the air conditioning, anything! But let us have our work tools at our fingertips."

Easy there, soldier. Dodd really, really likes media guides. Here's an idea. Go Office Max. Buy a ream of Dunder Mifflin paper. Go home. Fire up your porn downloader. Put said paper into printer. Go to NE Roast Beef Tech's Athletic Website. Find the Media Guide. Click File-Print. Wait for Media Guide to come out of printer.

There you go, Dennis. Now you can use this document for work while protecting it like it was written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John in 22 B.C.