RosenBeautiful!

Our pal Wrigleyville unearthed a gem of a post from a guy named Steve Rosenbloom, who writes the cleverly-named "RosenBlog" for the Chicago Tribune.

In Rosenbloom's RosenBlog post in question, Rosenbloom (via the RosenBlog) says the following:

Good news, Cubs fans: The Brewers have reached their daily ATM limit for payroll. They’re somewhere between $79 million and $82 million, and that’s enough, said owner Mark Attanasio.

If true, the Brewers’ starting rotation looks pretty much like this: Yovani Gallardo, Dave Bush, Jeff Suppan, Manny Parra and Seth McClung. The Cubs’ biggest problem will be avoiding hamstrings racing for the bat rack.

Remember, the Brewers struggled to get into the playoffs with CC Sabathia and Ben Sheets at the top of the rotation. The Brewers’ bullpen was legendarily bad, especially with big leads, and when you’re sad to see Salomon Torres leave, you’ve got bigger issues.

I know the Brewers can hit, but they can’t out-hit their own pitching staff, nor the Cubs'. So, it’s the Cubs in a rout in this rivalry.

Quick, someone tell Lou Piniella how easy this will be. We could use his reaction to keep us amused until pitchers and catchers report.

This is a stunningly stupid post. Let's examine it further:

Good news, Cubs fans: The Brewers have reached their daily ATM limit for payroll. They’re somewhere between $79 million and $82 million, and that’s enough, said owner Mark Attanasio.

Daily ATM limit for payroll? That doesn't even make sense. But nice try.

If true, the Brewers’ starting rotation looks pretty much like this: Yovani Gallardo, Dave Bush, Jeff Suppan, Manny Parra and Seth McClung. The Cubs’ biggest problem will be avoiding hamstrings racing for the bat rack.

Avoiding hamstrings? Huh? If that is the Cubs' biggest problem look out!

Remember, the Brewers struggled to get into the playoffs with CC Sabathia and Ben Sheets at the top of the rotation. The Brewers’ bullpen was legendarily bad, especially with big leads, and when you’re sad to see Salomon Torres leave, you’ve got bigger issues.

I'd like to know what Rosenbloom's definition of "legendarily bad" is. When I go back and look at the stats from 2008, I see that the Brewers' bullpen was 4th in the NL in ERA at 3.89 (Cubs were 8th at 4.10), tied for 4th in fewest losses with 24 (with Cubs and Dogers), 6th in batting average against (Cubs 7th at .251), 6th in OPS against at .722 (Cubs 11th at .741), tied for 12th in blown saves with 26 (Cubs tied for 10th with 24), tied for 7th in WHIP at 1.39 (Cubs tied for 3rd at 1.33). I could go on. Point is, the stats seem to say that this was an above-average bullpen when you look at the entirety of 2008. Did they blow some games? Sure - some spectacularly (I'm thinking the Arizona game and the Cubs game). But overall they were pretty solid. And they were damn near impregnable in the playoffs, if you recall, when the starting pitchers were sucking wind and going about 4 innings. Had Rosenbloom done any research for his RosenBlog, he might not write idiotic things.

I know the Brewers can hit, but they can’t out-hit their own pitching staff, nor the Cubs'. So, it’s the Cubs in a rout in this rivalry.

I am certain that the Brewers positional players can out-hit their pitching staff. The Brewers pitchers are not good hitters. Similarly, although Big Z is a good hitter, I am certain that the Brewers positional players can out-hit the Cubs pitchers. If Rosenbloom possessed adequately-functioning neurons, he might not write idiotic things.

Quick, someone tell Lou Piniella how easy this will be. We could use his reaction to keep us amused until pitchers and catchers report.

Hopefully, Rosenbloom can deliver a copy of this post to Lou personally, and catch his reaction on tape. Likely as not, having to deal with this guy semi-regularly, Lou already knows that Rosenbloom is one step removed from brain death, but it still might be amusing.