Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Dave Parker Random CD of the Week


Well, I just watched the Jerel McNeal's defeat the Marcus Landry-less' in an entertaining but awfully played basketball game. Matt came to the Goldy abode to watch and brought some Capitol Brewery Winter Skal that went well with the 18-pack of Guinness and 24 pack of Red Bull that was purchased from Costco earlier in the day. More thoughts about the game later.

Since I am well oiled up and at my house with nothing else to do except drink more, I thought now would be a great time to debut the BMG Music Selection of the Week. However, since most of my wonderfully crappy BMG CDs (ex: SevenMaryThree) are packed away in the basement, I decided to just look at some of the other random CDs I own. My random Pirates Dave Parker bobble head is helping out holding up the CD, so without further adue, the first "Dave Parker Random CD of the Week" is:

Crucial Conflict's "The Final Tic".

I am pretty sure this CD was purchased at The Den in University Square in Madison during the first semester of my Sophomore year in college (Fall 1996). From the top of my head, I remember Crucial Conflict as a Midwest rap group at the height of the East Coast-West Coast deal. They let everybody know they were from the Midwest by wearing overalls and acting rural, even though they were from the southside of Chicago. Hey, at least the Nappy Roots (soon to be featured in a "Dave Parker Random CD of the Week Feature") were from Kentucky and hold a little more cred in the rural rap thing.

Anyhow, the one song you would know form this CD is "Hay". It was all about smoking hay in the middle of the barn. I may be a white kid from Racine, but I think they are talking about smoking weed. If you click on the link and watch the video you will notice an outstanding cookout and some of Mike Vick's dogs. I would say one of the highlights of "Hay" are the following lines:

Now truly this bitch wanna do me
So i hit the 151bacardi
She high like the sun
Thick like cornbread,and i'm ready to party.
That hay got me so gotdamn horny
But i really don't like that tramp.
The only reason I'm poppin that coochie
Cause the hoe had a book of foodstamps.
And i got the munchies
I need soul food.
Collard greens or pinto beans.

They throw in 151, cornbread, food stamps, soul food, collard greens and pinto beans. Excellent. I can only imagine the guys in Bone Thugs mocked these guys on a daily basis.

Anyhow, my up close and personal run in with Crucial Conflict was during my sophomore year in college. A group of us were walking back from a Badger football game and a guy stopped us on the sidewalk and asked us if we liked rap and hip hop music in the exact same tone as the guy who was selling magazines in "Office Space". Thankfully I didn't end up with 40 subscriptions to Vibe magazine. Since one of my roommates, Burs, was with us, we had to stop and listen to the spiel. It was actually one of the guys from Crucial Conflict and they were trying to get people to come out to their show that night, which I believe was taking place at Bullwinkle's. Didn't go but wish I would have.

Anyhow, outside of "Hay" I don't think I listened to much of this CD. There is a song called "Ride the Rodeo" which sounds familiar, but that sounds a lot like a Ginuwine (another "Dave Parker Random CD of the Week" candidate) song. According to the ever reliable source known as Wikipedia, Curcuial Conflict consisted of members Wildstyle, Coldhard, Kilo and Never. I would say that is no match for Brad, Matt, Goldy and Woz, but I digress.

So, I would say this CD is pretty worthless since I only ever listened to one song, but since it was bought with student loan money, I consider it money well spent that I will be paying back for the next 20 years. I do note that they were selling Crucial Conflict hooded sweatshirts in the CD booklet. I'm not going to lie, wearing one of those suckers around Glendale would be pretty awesome right about now. If Souljah Boy is selling hooded sweatshirts, I highly suggest purchasing one. It would be awesome to wear that in the Beast Buy in Grafton in 10 years.

Until the next "Dave Parker Random CD of the Week" I wish you a good night and good bowling everybody.

4 comments:

Lance's Other :Nut said...

Thank you for this.

/commences slow clap

brad said...

Awesome. Sad to say I have the Seven Mary Three CD.

"IIII haaaave becoooome, cuuumbersoooome..." Worst song ever.

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