Thursday, October 23, 2008

Evening At The Favre's

Brett: You know Deanna, I think I'm ready to go play for the Packers again.

Deanna: What are you talking about?

Brett: Well, the Big Apple has been swell and all...but Green Bay is where I'd rather be.

Deanna: Umm, honey. The Packers traded you to the Jets.

Brett: Ha ha, yeah...whatever. This was just a trial, right? If I didn't like New Jersey, we could just sort of go do an undo and head back to Green Bay. Right, Deanna?

Deanna: Um, no. We're Jets now.

Brett: Ha, no, no, no. You don't understand. This was like a 2 month trial. These games don't count. Let's just go back to Green Bay and start the regular season with them. Yeah, like they would rely on rat face Rodgers to be the quarterback. Hahaha...

Deanna: I don't think so, honey. They traded you. Seriously.

Brett: What? How could they do that? I'm #4! The 'Ol Gunslinger! Everybody from Superior to Beloit's got a number 4 jersey! What's Buss' phone number? Get Buss on the phone!

Deanna: OK. Can I ask him to buy one of my books?

Brett: Buss, how could you let Green Bay trade me to the Jets?

Buss: You agreed to it.

Brett: But the Jets were like 14th on my list! What about Minnesota or Tampa?

Buss: Crrrrr...Um.....crrrr... you're breakin' up Buddy....crrrrr.

Brett: Can I at least still take that $20 million retirement offer, go back to Mississippi and play with my tractors? You know I love my tractors.

Buss: Beeeeeeeeeeeeep

Brett: Dammit! Deanna, call Mortenson - he'll straighten this out.

Mort: Um, yeah. This all went down a looong time ago.

Brett: I know that. But there's an undo, a redo, a bumblefuck button....something? I'm Brett Favre. If I want to start at USC this weekend, I can!

Mort: I don't think it works that way Brett, but I can report anything you want.

Deanna: Brett, Jeff Fisher's on the other phone...something about the "hush money" you sent him...

Mort: I gotta go. Jerry Jones just said something not relevant to anything....

Brett: Hang up! Hang up!

Deanna: Jeff - Brett can't talk right now, he's trying to put our house for sale and order up a hit on Ted Thompson. Tell the wife I say Hi.

Brett: Ah ha, Javon Walker! He know a thing or two about murder and also hates Ted! Where's his phone number....

11 comments:

Matt said...

Let it go, Brad.

Let it go.

I know you think that Brett spends all of his waking moments scheming about ways to destroy the Packers, but it just isn't realistic.

I wish this blog would just stick to stuff that matters, like wild trade rumors or mini horses.

Charlie Marlow said...

haha

Anonymous said...

Matt - just because you hate the Packers doesn't mean that wasn't funny.

Anonymous said...

Very Funny!

Todd said...

best part is that if a month ago you were to have posted a fake Favre news story, it would have read:

"Favre calling teams on Packers schedule trying to sabotage TT and Rodgers."

brad said...

I'd like to let it go, but it's too easy. Brett writes the jokes for me.

Anonymous said...

Where's the part with the vicodin and booze?

blueguitarbob said...

Dude... over the top on Javon at the end.

Lance's Other Nut said...

The Walker comment made that post.

mconlon said...

Funny stuff. I wouldn't mind seeing more of this kinda thing.

Anonymous said...

Is that Marty Conlon with a comment? Sweet.