It could seriously happen. The Padres might just call in sick tonight. I mean what's the point of even trying to go up against CC.
Oooooo...who are they countering with? Josh Banks? Yeah I hear he's pretty good. Too bad he's got less wins this season (3) then CC has complete games since he came to the NL (4). Suck on that biatch!
"Don't do it Zeus," you might be saying. "Don't give the Woz Guarantee. It hasn't been working lately (or ever). The Brewers struggle against sucky young pitchers. "
F that. This game is in the bag. Consider it Shipped. Bet your farm, houseboat, tool chest, & Goldy's wife's jewelry collection on the Brewers tonight. I give it THE WOZ GUARANTEE.
Side note: The Woz Guarantee will be semi-officially retired if the Brewers don't win tonight.