Ballpark Review - HHH Metrodome

With the Brewers heading to the Metrodome tomorrow, I thought it was a good time to dust off a ballpark review from the archives.

Ballpark - Nerf. That is honestly the first thing that popped into my mind when I entered. From the outside it looks like a spacecraft, from the inside it is worse. With the plastic seats, rubber turf, Hefty bag outfield wall and rubber roof, what's to like? The sight lines are terrible, a pretty good part of the upper deck is blocked off, and I hear they have an inflatable pitching mound. That's just weird. Oh yeah, you have to go wee wee in a metal trough. WTF? I herd of that in ancient facilities (Wrigley Field, Camp Randall Stadium, etc) but not one built in the Regan administration. They need to go "Seattle Kingdome" to this place, and fast. The Twinkies did win two World Series in this dump, so that has to be worth something.
Score: 0.5 out of 5

Atmosphere - Indoors is no place to be on a 75 degree summer night. The crowd that was there didn't seem to interested. Then again, when I attended, there wasn't much to cheer about. 1998. Right in between the Kirby Puckett and Torii Hunter eras. Call it the "Marty Cordova Era." I'm guessing the atmosphere was totally different in its heyday. To its benefit, it was the best major league bargain in history. Showed them my college ID and got a 6th row ticket right next to first base for 5 bucks. Impressive. The best moment of the whole experience was when some deadbeat ripped a foul ball away from a poor old lady one section over. That was bad, but the amount of beer, wrappers, napkins, cups and bottles showered that guy was outstanding. Overall: I would go again, but only if admission was free. And the Brewers were playing.
Score: 2 out of 5

Bonus Points :

- Grain Belt is the signature beer...awesome! Add 1 Point
- Those stinking Vikings play there. Minus 1
- The whole air pressurization thing is baffling. What would happen if a cannon ball shoots through the roof? Would everyone get sucked out? Is the ceiling material heavy enough to crush everyone below? What happens here? Because this is even a plausible argument: Minus 1

- A new stadium is in the works. Add 1
Total Bonuses: Push

Scoreboard

Ballpark: 0.5

Atmosphere: 2
Bonus Points: Push

Grand Total: 2.5 Out of 10...A truly terrible place to take in a game.