Monday, May 12, 2008

Panic!


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John Donovan churned out another one of his award-winning columns on SI.com today - advising five teams who were expected to contend that it's time (or almost time?) to hit the panic button on their season. On May 12.

[He was also called an "ignorant slut" by a Cardinals fan - good times...]

Naturally, the Brewers are one of those teams for which panic-button-pressing should commence shortly - the Mariners, Padres, Tigers and Rockies were the other four. Hmmm...I don't remember Donovan expecting the Brewers to contend this season, but whatever.

For sake of comparison, those four teams are a combined 35 games under .500 and 29 games behind their division leader. An average of just about 9 games under .500 and about 7 games behind the division leader. Milwaukee is currently 1 game under .500 and 4 games behind the division leader.
I guess he just had to include the Brewers on this list so he could participate in his favorite sport - bashing the Eric Gagne signing.

Brewers

For weeks, the Brewers promised Eric Gagne was their closer, damn the problems he was having. And then Gagne begged off the duty, citing his overall poor performance, and so now the Brewers are going with a closer-by-committee. Milwaukee went from five games above .500 in late April to two games below last week before winning a series against the first-place Cardinals over the weekend.

Well, thanks John - I guess we can just go ahead and chalk up tonight's game as a W for the Brewers and we'll call it a winning series against the Cardinals, huh? Dolt.

Naturally, he was able to work the Gagne signing into this particular column two more times. That's approximately the 14th time that he's pounded on the Gagne signing in one of his columns.
We get it. You were right John. You are so smart. Gagne was a bad signing. When will some owner wise up and hand the keys to his team over to John Donovan?

15 comments:

dusty said...

This is no fun. Such depressing posts on Chuckie Hacks. I'm actually feeling sorry for you guys. You can't panic yet; it's only May.

Back in the day, Cub fans at least waited until May was over to give up. You guys at least have to make it until our series in July before you panic/quit/implode...fill-in-the-blank.

After all, what fun will our season be without smack talk with Brewers fans all year (Cardinals fans are annoying, elitist blobs.)?

So Buck Up Brew Crew fans -- there's much to live for yet. Hardy just crossed the .250 line. Only one of your regulars is hitting worse than Parra now, instead of three. Fielder hit a homer this week. Gagne's not your closer anymore. And Bernie hasn't jumped off the Ledge...well, at least not yet.

Love,
Your Friends at WV

Anonymous said...

The Brewers are panicking to score in double digits tonight...

Wrigleyville said...

I'm confused. I thought the "Brewers Are Done" post last Thursday was on Chuckie Hacks.

Looking ... looking ... looking ... Oh, here it is:

http://wisconsinsportsblogs.blogspot.com/2008/05/brewers-are-done.html

So you're criticizing media for agreeing with official Chuckie Hack position?

AP said...

Cubs fans-The calm & rational voice of reason. God bless you, good sirs.

matt said...

I don't think Dusty read this post. He just looked at the headline and then spouted off. I think I was pretty clear that I was disagreeing with Mr. Donovan about whether it was time to panic.

But thanks for your concern, Dusty.

Wrigleyville said...

but i thought chuckie had already panicked?

Wrigleyville said...

is that how you spell panicked? strange word "panic."

brad said...

I'll take credit for panicing (sp?). My thoughts do not represent the thoughts of the other 3 guys. That is, if Goldy still posts here. Ha.

matt said...

Yes, you've made your point twice now. I'm so sorry that I ignored you the first time. A component of Chuckie Hacks has already panicked. Unfortunately I have no editorial control over Brad, who has moved on to following Packers rookie minicamps I think.

I guess Chuckie Hacks has panicked in the same way that Wrigleyville 23 loves Ryan Theriot (especially when he bats 2nd), loves Dusty Baker and hates Alfonso Soriano - all positions that contributors to your fine blog have taken in the past, and which I don't think you necessarily agree with.

brad said...

Just ordering a Jordy Nelson jersey as we speak! White Lightning, baby!!!

Dusty said...

Matt, I read all the recent posts. Headlines are really depressing; and some of the content is even depressing...i.e. Brewers are done.

Buck up buddy. You beat the Cardinals for us. Thanks.

Dusty said...

And for the record, I love all three: Theriot, Dusty (the most) and Alfonso....I don't like Murton. Boy just ain't right. Can run without falling down.

Dusty said...

Oops, meant "can't" run without falling down.

Wrigleyville said...

point taken, matthew.

at wv23, i am in charge of official wv23 position and allow the others to share their views out of my respect for the first amendment. and america.

who is in charge of official chuckie hacks positions?

Matt said...

Not me. I'm just an employee.