Tuesday, April 22, 2008

He's done

Ben Sheets has pitched his last game for the Milwaukee Brewers.

Ok...that may be a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe it really is just "soreness." Maybe he won't miss more than "one start." Maybe he really doesn't have an "unusually large vagina."

Would you want to take a bet that he only misses one start? I sure as hell wouldn't.

But man...does he really have say stuff like this?

"If it was September, I would be out there," Sheets said. "I'm pretty sure I'm capable of pitching right now."

Really man??? Did you really just say that? September? You're gonna talk about September??? Do you have a short-term memory problem? Did you not bow out of your last 3-4 starts last September with a "hamstring injury???" Just shut your mouth Ben...and get back to the rotation ASAP ok? I don't want to hear you talk about anything else. Please.

Ben Sheets has given Brewer fans over the last 3 years more cases of blue balls than your basic high school prom queen. He teases...he looks good...he's about ready to push you over the top with excitement!...then he stops. He goes home. He's tired. He's hurt. You're resolved to chasing down one of the members of the comedy sportz team hoping she can help (ie...Dave Bush). She's into you sure...she can get the job done...but it's just not the same. You're left alone wishing what could have been.


lofty said...

what's a matter woz....a little philly break your heart?

Harry Dunne said...

No, it was a girl.

Tony said...

Nice Post, not sure about the left turn you took with the comady sports bit but I am sure there is insider story / mockery here somewhere.

GA Hill said...

This post just reminded me how much happier I am as a Cub fan knowing that Mark Prior is someone else's problem.

Thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

... because games in September are worth 3 games each in the standings, right?