Very Important Life Lessons

What I've learned in the last few days:

1. Don't no-hit the Brewers. Just isn't a good idea. You might win the game, but you'll probably lose the series.

2. Not only can Chris Berman ruin an episode of Sports Center, a Major League Baseball game, and an NFL highlight....he can also ruin a golf tournament. My god, I wanted to shove peanut butter in my ears so I didn't have to listen to him blather during ESPN's coverage of the U.S. Open. "Ground Control to David Toms?" Come on.

3. Corey Hart should lead off for the Brewers. Every day. No exceptions.

4. If Craig Counsell comes up to bat with a runner on base and it's a double play situation, he'll hit into a double play. He should just stand there with the bat on his shoulder, just to avoid ending the inning.

5. Adam Scott, he of the second round 82, is not ready to win a major championship. Neither is Bubba Watson. Although he's a lot more fun to watch than robo-Scott.

6. Kevin Mench is earning a lot of money to sit on the bench. What did he do to deserve all of this time on the pine? Besides, well, you know...sucking.

7. The NBA season is over. Already? It's only been, what, 11 months since it started?

8. The Royals have gone from scoring 2 runs a game to scoring like 17 runs a game in the last week. Not sure where that came from, but we're sending out KC correspondent Goldy to figure it out.

9. Staining your deck sucks.