Monday, June 11, 2007

Mail Call!

It's everybody's favorite feature at Chucky Hacks, the semi-regular dive into the insane world of idiotic Brewers chat questions! This edition's question comes from Adam McCalvey's chat today on the Brewers' team website:

Why is Johnny Estrada batting fifth in front of Jenkins and Hall? If you think about it, after Prince Fielder bats, ideally, the bases should be empty and ready for the Brewers to create another scoring opportunity. Therefore, you'd like to have another leadoff-type hitter. Someone who can get on base with speed. Estrada can get on base, but is so slow. Why not put Braun in the five-spot? J.J. Hardy should be hitting third. Rickie Weeks/Gywnn second. I love Hart leading off. Yost -- the lineup is broken. Its not going to fix itself. Fix it!-- [Name redacted to protect the questioner from scorn and ridicule]

How I would have answered the question:

You, sir, are a moron.

The first twelve words of your question would make a coherent thought. You should have stopped there. Unfortunately for you, you soldiered on, and the final 87 words prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you sport a central nervous system that operates haphazardly at best. Seriously - a second leadoff hitter in the 5 hole? Really? Because Prince is going to clear the bases every time he bats? Goodness.

How Adam McCalvy answered the question:

"Yost was pressed on the Estrada issue last week, and his short answer is that he likes a contact hitter in the five-hole, and he feels Estrada fits the bill. Your call for a "leadoff-type" in the five-hole is an interesting thought, but look around the Majors and show me how many teams follow that philosophy. In the eight-hole, maybe, but not the five."

I guess Adam has to be nice to his readers. Hopefully our valiant questioner isn't a reader of Chucky Hacks. If so, I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm not.

1 comment:

AP said...

Shouldn't he have answered: "Hey....moron. If you think about, Prince Fielder is going to bat about .310-.325 at best. That means that more than two thirds of the time the bases WON'T be cleared. Please don't mail any more questions to me."