You've gotta love the Onion. Even though its satire...you've got to wonder if you could make the case for what the article says (wait...give me a second...no you can't...let's move on).
After the records of players who used performance-enhancing drugs are carefully removed, statistics provided by the Elias Sports Bureau indicate that lifetime .255 hitter Craig Counsell was the best player of the past 15 years.
He came this close to stealing a base off of Ivan Rodriguez, and I swear I heard him foul tip a Roger Clemens fastball. The kid could flat-out steroid-free play.
Here's the best line though:
One time he was playing third base and he caught a Rafael Palmeiro line drive—just caught it, right in his mitt.
I pulled the photo from This Site. Awesome. Hey! Did you guys know Counsell has an accounting degree from Notre Dame? See...he's just like you or I.
I think I could get lost in that website for hours.
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