Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Jeff Suppan is Jeffrey Hammonds!

Better watch out Jeff Suppan, if you don't step it up this year, you are going to be forever ingrained in Brewer lore as the NEXT FREAKING JEFFREY HAMMONDS! Thank you Mike Hunt.

Here's the line from Hunt's last column, which was written again in advising the trading of Prince Fielder (which makes my blood boil to a level that can't be described).

Jeff Suppan must show he's not the first Jeffrey Hammonds of the Mark Attanasio/Doug Melvin era.

How absurd is this comparison? Hunt should be ashamed of himself. It is fact...I repeat...FACT...that the Jeffrey Hammonds contract is the worst contract in Brewer history, on a wide variety of levels. It takes you back to a time of bad personnel management. It takes you back to a time of desperation. It takes you back to a time where the Milwaukee Brewers locked in $21 million dollars to some chump who had never played more then a 123 games in 8 SEASONS up to that point...and his one "ok" year was when he was jacking doubles in Colorado.

Hammonds "played" here for two+ injury-riddled seasons of putrid baseball the likes this town had ever seen. I hated him then. I despise him and everybody who looks like him now.

To compare him to Jeff Suppan? What? Jeff Suppan, the career average pitcher who has started 30+ games every year for the last 10 years? The guy that has taken the mound 65 times the last two years for the Crew and has been serviceable. The guy who gave a gritty performance in game 4 of the NLDS last year...no wait...scratch that last one.

For christ sake Hunt, like Bill Lumbergh in Office Space, Jeffrey Hammonds represents all that is soulless and wrong (in baseball terms).

Jeff Suppan is an average player who probably makes more then he should but he actually serves a purpose and provides some sort of service.

When you say "Jeffrey Hammonds" to any loyal Brewer fan, he/she should cringe in thought. You can't compare him to Suppan.

Mike Hunt, Chuckie Hacks demands you call Jeff Suppan today and issue him an apology for comparing him to the most despised Brewer of all time.

12 comments:

Tim said...

Yes, Hammonds makes my blood boil, but nothing like mega-prick Gary Sheffield (speaking of '89 Topps). At least that dipshit didn't cost a ton of money.

Matt said...

Mike Hunt is the Jeffrey Hammonds of the local media.

AP said...

"Hammonds "played" here for two+ injury-riddled seasons of putrid baseball the likes this town had ever seen. I hated him then. I despise him and everybody who looks like him now. "

I laughed. That's a damn fine sentence right there. I wish I had a Hammonds bobble head so I could snap the head clean off.

DOGY said...

At least Suppan is average. Over payed, but whatever. Shut it, Mike Hunt!

Wrigleyville said...

going point on the atrociousness of hammonds, but i'm assuming by "average" you mean "below average" on suppan?

his ERA of 4.96 in '08 was considerably worse than every single NL team's team ERA - except the pittsburgh pirates (5.08). the brewers were no. 2 at 3.85. cubs were no. 3 at 3.87. (dodgers no. 1 at 3.68 - ballpark)

unless you're looking at the 10-10 record, so ... ok. but not the 1.542 (!) WHIP.

re hammonds, look at his contract years:

'97 - 21 HR
'00 - 20 HR

(he did have 17 in '99, but was never in double figures in any other year.)

Geoff Hammonds said...

You hate everyone that looks like me? You racist son of a bitch.

Matt said...

I don't think you'll get a lot of defenders of Suppan here, but a better gauge of whether he's "average" would be comparing his ERA to that of other ERAs of starting pitchers in the NL, not team ERAs.

I suppose his 2008 would probably still be below average using that standard.

Suppan also pitched hurt last year. Jeffrey Hammonds never played hurt.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes playing hurt is worse than not playing at all. Ask Favre at the end of thise year.

Charlie Marlow said...

I understand the comparison, but its not a direct parallel. Suppan AND Bill Hall are sitting around earning millions to be shittastic.

Fuck them.

Anonymous said...

I just threw up thinking about Hammonds, Sean Berry and Franklin Stubbs.

ArmChairGM said...

I think it is a stretch to compare Suppan to Hammonds on the field, but Suppan is handcuffing the Brewers much like Hammonds did. Suppans owed 12MM this year is the reason Melvin isnt going after another starter via free agency. So in that regard, Suppan is Jeff Hammonds.

ClownShipLollypop said...

I don't really put much thought into the ramblings of some fool with a name used for phone pranks.

"Is MikeHUNT there?" No, shitburger and neither is your dignity.

Yet another reason the Milwaukee Urinal is a joke.