Monday, August 4, 2008

The Brewers are just brutal right now

I think the Brewers are playing the worst ball in the Majors right now. So, lets just stop all this Packers talk and talk about a team that is blowing playoff hopes right now. Not one that won't start their season for another month.

The Brewers fucking suck right now. I have no confidence they can come back from any deficit anymore. It takes too many solo home runs to do that. Right now, there are only three players worth a shit and they are Sabathia, Braun and Prince. The rest of the team is just brutal. J.J. Hardy has reverted to his god awful performance at the plate. Looks like a repeat of last year. One good month and the rest is shit. Corey Hart is god awful right now. He looks like shit both at the plate and in the field. Cameron can't make contact. Weeks sucks. Ugh, this team blows at the moment. Fuck.

Over the past month, Hart is hitting .217 with 2 homers, 9 RBIs and 12 runs scored. The highlight is his .635 OPS. What a turd.
Cameron is hitting a robust .212 with 3 homers, 12 RBIs and 7 runs scored. His OPS is at .742.
Surprisingly, Dick Weeks is batting .273 with 1 homer, 10 RBIs and 19 runs scored. However, his inability to turn a basic double play are not included in these stats.
I am not going to look it up, but I imagine the three headed dildo at third is doing jack shit.

Ugh. I can't go on. I have no hope for this team right now. Nothing is clicking. The offense is at 2002 levels. I only feel good when Sabathia is on the mound and the D has been rough of late. In June and July, they were hitting the ball hard and at least had productive outs. Now, nothing. Fuck. I think it's time for a run. Maybe I'll get hit by a car and this misery will end.

Oh, and happy Civic Holiday to all of our Canadian readers. This sounds like a pretty bunk holiday according to the wikipedia entry, but hey, what the heck, we have some pretty stupid ones as well.


Wrigleyville said...

wow. for a 400 pounder, prince slap fights like a 78 pound girl...

Wrigleyville said...

From CH on 6/1/07 (interested to see who Prince will trade himself to):

Breaking News!

In an exclusive interview with Big Z, Chuckie Hacks has learned that Big Z has traded himself to the Chicago White Sox, effective immediately. The Cubs will receive second baseman Tadahito Iguchi and left fielder Rob Mackowiak from the White Sox for Big Z. The move stems directly from Big Z's fight with former battery-mate Michael Barrett in the dugout during today's Cubs loss to the Atlanta Braves.

"I'm playing for the White Sox after today," Big Z said in a hastily arranged press conference outside Wrigley Field. "Ozzie (Sox manager, and fellow Venezuelan, Ozzie Guillen) said that if I play for the Sox, I can punch Michael Barrett during the interleague series with the Cubs every year. It's a lot better for me to punch him as an opposing player."

AJ Pierzinski immediately offered his services, counseling Big Z on the art of taking a punch from Barrett.

Cubs manager Lou Piniella, whose team dropped to 22-30 with today's loss, was also sporting a black eye after the game, apparently from a separate altercation with Ted Lilly. Lilly, it seems, got caught up in the emotions and started pummelling Piniella in the Cubs dugout during the 6th inning.

"I noticed Lou looked at me funny during the game, so I figured I'd set the tone before he tried to pull me out early from my next start," Lilly said. "Message delivered."

When asked to comment on the Big Z trade, Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry said that he targeted a second baseman and a left fielder from the White Sox in exchange for Big Z because the Cubs were a little "thin" at those spots, having only Cliff Floyd, Jacque Jones, Matt Murton and Alfonso Soriano in left field and Ryan Theriot and Mark DeRosa at second.

AP said...

Oh, right. It's August now. I forgot that it was time to start sucking again.....

Anonymous said...

This team is done. Forget about the playoffs. Now our source of enjoyment turns to watching the Cubs choke yet another one away.

Fatty Fielder needs to be suspended by the team. And then traded to Pittsburgh.

garcia said...

I dropped the most f-bombs tonight in a long while. It stems from the crew not doing anything at the plate, jim skaalen telling his players to be patient while watching strike after strike float down the middle, manny continues to walk people and then give up a huge hit, all the while nedly and maddox just sit on their asses as parra struggles...going out to the mound AFTER he walks the bases loaded is a little too late.

Also, there is a scuffle in the dugout and all I am praying for is that ned gets in the middle and prince cocks him in the face and breaks his eye socket...but instead as you look at the replay just about everyone in the dugout is standing at attention and the only person sitting down with little emotion...THE ONLY Ned Yost. He does nothing more than turn his head. What a bitch ass.

Ned! Take your playgirl to the office and jackoff there! You do absolutely nothing...NOTHING...for the team...the same goes to skaalen and maddox and simmons and castro and sedar and sveum. Get rid of all the bitches who are coaches and get someone in there who will chew their asses out. Maybe Kapler can coach better...he has more qualified experience... maybe we could bring in cecil fielder too...that would heat up the clubhouse!

Either way, I agree completely. The crew is playing some of the worst baseball in the bigs right now. I have been saying for a long time that coaches needed to be gotten rid of because none of them lead the team and seem to only hinder the team.

I'm sick of dropping f-bombs on a daily basis.

Why is Kendall in the lineup so often? So what if he is a good defensive catcher...pitching has been a non-issue because the crew can't score any runs anyway. Why don't we try rivera once in a while? Why do cameron and weeks play so much?

The crew plays two games this month against teams above .500 TWO! They better win 2/3 of those games at least, if not 3/4. They need to prove themselves now...hitters, pitchers, coaches...they are all accountable! I am so f-ing pissed off right now...

Wrigleyville said...

anonymous - the master of wrong predictions and make-believe brewer success. cute.

Wrigleyville said...

why did prince get to go back into the game after that? z and one nut both sat down and felt shame after they fought in the dugout last year. if you're ned, don't you say "come sit by me for the rest of the game, you tub of goo." after his performance in game 4 against the cubs and this, it's pretty clear he's gone nuts.

garcia said...

wrigleyville... if i'm ned, I blow my face off.

Wrigleyville said...

if i'm ned, i dust off the pictures of melvin and mark a that allowed me to come back to manage in 2008.

AP said...

Yost after the game speaking about the "dust-up": "It's no big deal. We're a family, it happened in the family, and it'll stay in the family. If your neighbors are fighting, it's kind of rude to go over and stick your nose into their business. It was really no big deal."

Ummm,Ned.....don't imply that I am being rude or that people are somehow overstepping their boundaries for asking what the fuck is happening to this team right now. You get paid, you have press conferences, and you are on national TV. You are a public god damn figure. It's not sticking a nose where it doesn't belong. When your mammoth firstbaseman shoves a 175 pound pitcher and then the entire fucking team restrains him in the dugout, be prepared to answer a few questions about it that night. Doing that squinty eye thing with your hands in your armpits isn't going to make things get better or problems go away. Saying it's no big deal doesn't make it not a big deal. To reiterate Garcia, do something and don't just sit there enjoying the view.

AP said...

The good news about tonight is that we have just taken sole possession of last place in the "batting average with RISP" category. That's in baseball, not in the NL. What the fuck does Skaalen do again?

Agree, WV. He should have been sat down after that.....

Wrigleyville said...

the (potentially) good news (for the brewers) here is that the cubs were 22-30 at the time of the fight last year. they went 55-35 the rest of the way, one of the better records in baseball.

the (certain) bad news (for the brewers) is ned yost isn't going to resign or be fired tomorrow.

Goldy said...

I hope this is rock bottom. My wife loves the tv show intervention because she deals with people like that as part of her job. Every now and then I'll catch an episode. I think the Brewers need an intervention so they can hit rock bottom and be built back up. If things don't turn around quickly, its on to thinking about Badger football.

garcia said...

this is what skaalen and yost do...

basically nothing... this article is just a bunch of bullshit. They basically said they can do nothing to help the hitters and that they do nothing to help them!

brad said...

At least Fat Ass picked on someone his own size...the size of his left leg, maybe.

Let's do a Prince checklist for the last 6 months or so:

- Became a veggie
- Said he's not gonna buy out any arby years
- Grew a semi-fro for a while
- Did about 12,832 nervous coughs
- Slams his bat into the ground when pissed
- Sees his power numbers drop significantly
- Picks a fight with a 160 pound pitcher who looks 17 years old.

TRADE HIS FAT ASS!!! If he's fat at age 25, he's gonna be even fatter at age 30.

Oh, Goldy - Sorry for writing about the Packers during Training Camp. I'll expect you not to write about the Brewers during Spring Training. YOUR FIRED! Just kidding.

garcia said...

try this

Matt said...

WV, thank you for reminding me of that post about Zambrano trading himself to the White Sox.

That was a funny one.