Monday, July 28, 2008

Very simple question: Would you beat?

All right men (and ladies...you know...that's cool too), I'm sick and tired of this Trenni bashing.

Here's the scenario: You leave after work and go directly to Steve's on Bluemound to meet your buddies for the Brewer game. On your way down Bluemound from 84th street (say...by the Subway on 77th), you notice a blonde waving you down on the side of the road. Her little red car is smoking...the hood is up. It's Trenni. She's wearing white capris and a brewer t-shirt. "Oh thank goodness you stopped!" she says..."I have to get to Miller Park, I'm working there today and am supposed to be there in 10 minutes! Can you give me a ride?"

Since you're no doubt a gentlemen...you gladly offer her a ride.

As you cruise down Bluemound, you talk about the Brewers and how fun the team is this year. You make her laugh by telling Mitch Hedberg jokes. Since you're probably driving a convertible...the wind is blowing her hair around like that scene in "Wayne's World" where Garth is daydreaming. All of a sudden, that "I kissed a girl and I liked it" song comes on the radio and she starts singing the lyrics. You start to think she could be the one.

Since she's got credentials, you get past all the parking nazi's and go right to the front gate. She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek, says thanks for the ride, and then starts to get out. You think its all over, and you've got a good story for your buddies.

But it's not. She suddenly turns around. "How'd you like to watch the game in Annastasio's Box?" You obviously say "Sure, that'd be fun!" Then she tosses you some sort of permanent stadium pass, you exchange cell numbers, and off she goes.

You roll into Mark's personal box feeling like a stud. You introduce yourself to Doug Melvin and tell him you like everythings he's done (well...except the Gagne signing). Rick Majerus is randomly there. Over about a dozen chicken wings and a quesadilla, you talk about the upcoming Marquette hoops season. All this time, Trenni is sending you text messages, asking how everything is going.

Finally around the 8th inning, with the Brewers comfortably ahead, and you with 7 miller lites in you, you get the nerve to text back to Trenni, "What are you doing after the game?"

Trenni replies, "I say we keep this party going. Meet me back at my condo in the Falls (gives address). Hope you brought your trunks for the hot tub!"

You smile knowingly to yourself, because hell yeah, you don't have swimming trunks...and that's not going to stop you.

Question: LIKE YOUR NOT GOING TO GO OUT THERE AND HIT IT?!?!

12 comments:

i'd hit it said...

trenni lives in the falls???? let the stalking begin!

I jerk during post game said...

I'd drizzle my gunk all over that little smirk of hers

Ryan Braun said...

I already did

Rickie(she calls me DICK) Weeks said...

She likes Milk Chocolate

one of your two female readers said...

woz, that's a pretty detailed post. I think you have may thought about this a little too much lately.
for the record, she's a moron, she's not that cute, and she needs to go

Anonymous said...

man, i seriously can't believe how people are so blind to quality reporting these days. all you d-bags wouldn't be able to see if it hit you up like fielder at a play at the plate. trenni, you're way better than andrews and all those other space-fillers...

Dick said...

Give it up Woz. She's not that hot. She's an improvement from last year's dummy, but I could do without her altogether. She adds no value whatsoever to the broadcast. When she starts talking, I just want to bang my head against the wall.

Anonymous said...

that broad is beat...i would not hit that.

-sanchez

Anonymous said...

well, considering half of Pittsburgh already hit it ...

Shawn said...

I'm pretty sure she's married.

But, fantasize away! Those fangs of hers are frightening. Almost as frightening as her journalistic talent.

Anonymous said...

Jeff Reed, Santonio Holmes and Willie Parker agree...at least she knows how to find champions before slumming it with Ryan Braun

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