Friday, July 25, 2008

Ryan Braun = Shang Tsung

























I've been racking my brain all morning trying to come up with some sort of analogy to describe the current Brewer winning streak, the sweep of the Cardinals, and of course: how freaking awesome Ryan Braun is. I could watch that highlight from the home run last night 100 times and not be sick of it. The fully extended swing, immediate recognition that it's gone and his face turns to a straight frown with the head down, walking 4 steps while watching it, then he drops the bat and trots around the bases: SPECTACULAR.

I think it's safe to write that Ryan Braun is currently collecting and maintaining various pitcher's souls in the NL. Therefore, the analogy is obvious, Ryan Braun is just like Shang Tsung from Mortal Kombat.
Shang Tsung: Shang Tsung is a sorcerer who is originally a human from Earthrealm. According to the first Mortal Kombat comic, Shang Tsung was cursed by "his gods" not only to kill his enemies, but to take their souls as well. Only in this way would he hold off his grim fate: to age rapidly and die prematurely. As a side effect of his consuming the souls of others, Tsung was able to access their memories and knowledge, an ability which would greatly benefit him years later.

Let's just change that description a little bit and substitute Braun:

Ryan Braun: Ryan Braun is a demigod who is originally a human from Mission Hills, CA. According to the back of his rookie Fleer Ultra baseball card, Ryan Braun was cursed by "his first little league coach" not only to embarrass opposing pitchers, but to take their souls as well. Only in this way would he hold off his grim fate: to be signed as a free agent by the San Francisco Giants when the Cougar supply in Milwaukee dried out. As a side effect of his consuming the souls of pitchers he faces, Braun is able to walk around in their heads, constantly knowing what pitches he is about to be thrown, an ability that greatly benefits him as his current team (the Milwaukee Beermakers) steamrolls to the playoffs.

Yep, I'd say that sounds about right.

1 comment:

Not so anonymous Jake said...

Your soul is mine!