Monday, June 16, 2008

Hank Steinbrenner - The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Yankees buffoon Hank Steinbrenner is pretty sore about losing his best starter, Chieng Ming Wang, for at least 6 weeks after Wang got hurt running around the bases.

"My only message is simple. The National League needs to join the 21st century," Steinbrenner said in Tampa, Fla. "They need to grow up and join the 21st century."

That is a simple message - thanks Hank. Hey, NL, quit dicking around and come on and join the AL in the 21st century, where the pitchers apparently don't bat! And while you're at it, tell those morons in Japan's Central League to come with you, too.

"Am I (mad) about it? Yes," Steinbrenner added. "I've got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He's going to be out. I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s."

It's a fact. The AL hasn't asked its pitchers to hit since the 1800s. Or 1973. Whatever.

"This is always a concern of American League teams when their pitchers have to run the bases and they're not used to doing it," Steinbrenner said. "It's not just us. It's everybody. It probably should be a concern for National League owners, general managers and managers when their pitchers run the bases. Pitchers have enough to do without having to do that."

I mean, Jesus, pitchers have to climb onto the mound to face major league hitters, and then you expect them to run 90 feet every once in a while? What do you think these guys are, professional athletes?

Hank, Brewers fans know that a pitcher can get hurt doing all sorts of things other than running the bases. Like covering first base, for example.


Woz said...

I believe there should be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro turf and the designated hitter.

I also believe in the soul. High fiber & good scotch.

Wrigleyville said...

wow, we posted on this at virtually the same time, matthew.

that is a true sign of hank's ridiculousness.

Krey said...

I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone....the sweet spot and opening your presents Christmas morning instead of christmas eve.

Remember in high school when pitchers were the best athletes on the team?

Woz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.