Opening Day Highlights

Another Opening Day, another day of debauchery. Here's a compilation of highlights from all of us.

- Just getting there was a battle. Planned on taking the State Fair shuttle, but that didn't start until 10:30. OK, I'll head to McGinns and take the Slimo...starts running at 11. Whatever, I'll just park by Kelly's Bleachers and hoof it. Well, the second I drove onto Bluemound, it was a parking lot. Go back to McGinns and start walking. No problems, it's a nice day. Take a right on Hawley because, for whatever reason, I thought it curled around and down to Miller Park. Nope. It goes past the Titty Bar and right onto I-94. Hmmm. Across the street, the cemetery is gated off. Whatever, no chance I'm walking all the way back to Bluemound, up, around, and down the street to Miller. So I make the only logical choice which is scale the chain-link cemetery fence and hoof it through all the dead people. I almost blew out my MCL. Things are off to a good start.

- The Duluth/Superior FOX affiliate taped us playing washers before the game. I was assured that we would be famous in Duluth/Superior. Unfortunately, their website is currently under construction so I can't confirm if any video was used.

- We need to put up a primer of how to play the hat game so Goldy knows how to play the next time he blacks out. It is hard to explain even a simple game to someone who has had 12 beers.

- I play fantasy baseball, so I generally know quite a bit about a lot of different teams and their players. However, I had not heard of 4 of the 8 position players who started the game for the Giants. I also didn't know who their starting pitcher was. I won a bet that I made prior to the start of the game - I bet that their starter wouldn't last 5 full innings. He went 4 1/3, I think.

- It was good to hear that in the car that I arrived at the game in (5 people), 2 of the people reported that they had blacked out by the end of the day and our driver puked at 1 a.m. the next morning. My wife will be proud that I made it out unscathed.

- Once the Sausage Haus bathroom (an unfortunate name for a men’s room) started getting way too crowded, the river was a great alternative.

- Woz, thanks for the Blatz Light, I didn't know they made such a thing.

- Health note: While spending an entire day consuming alcohol, having your only sustenance for the day consisting of 2 bratwurst is not advisable.

- The Racine Connection of Goldy and Gierahn were the pre-game washers champs.

- I donated $3 to the random Hispanic band that came by playing music. It became quickly apparent they only knew one song, and really enjoyed tequila.

- While wearing my Mike Rivera jersey (#11) someone told me that I was wearing a sweet Gary Sheffield jersey.

- The following conversation occurred. “Man, that is a sweet butt. I just want to rest my head on that.” “Can you motorboat a butt?” (participants shall remain nameless)

- The black bus that pulled into the lot that sounded lie a lawnmower.

- The number of random people that tripped over the washers string was astounding.

- I predicted the Giants would win 17 games this year.