Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day!

Chuckie Hacks want to wish all our readers a very special Valentine's Day. The above photo is for our lady readers. Just think about this photo tonight when you are dry-humping your significant other into a heightened state of arousal.

For our male readers, do your significant other a favor tonight and take your time with your love-making. Slow it down a little. Look into the eyes. Think long, slow, deep thrusts. Make your woman remember why she is with you in the first place. Of course...eventually...hammer it out to close out the day.

Personal story: I once had my heart-broken on Valentine's Day. Freshman year of college. I was known only as Woz back then. There was a little shorty that had my attention. For Valentine's Day I made her a personal card. I drew a little train on a piece of paper, and made little puffs of engine smoke. Inside the puffs of engine smoke I wrote the words..."I choo choo choose you to be my valentine." (I got it from the Simpsons episode where Lisa gave the same card to Ralph)

Well guess what happened? Nothing materialized. She blew me off. Never got any action. I put myself out there and my heart was crushed. As a hopeless romantic, I was frustrated & confused.

Shortly thereafter I became WozisZeus. The rest is history.


Anonymous said...

I suppose that if you paused your life you can see the exact moment she broke your heart.

A little sissy like but good resilience.

one of your two female readers said...

Thank you for thinking of us "female readers", but I think I would have preferred a picture of...Kenny Chesney...Brett Favre...Matthew McCona-hot-hot-hot...
just an FYI for future postings!

Greatone said...

Woz I have been your friend for over 6 years now, and there was so many girls that broke your heart it's really hard to keep track of them. When did you turn into Woziszeus?

Anonymous said...

You should clarify...the picture is for your lady readers.....and the greatone.

birdhas said...

It is worth mentioning that the girl who broke Woz's later became (or perhaps already was) well, for lack of a better word, easy.