Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Yo Bear, Yo

This is how they roll in Arkansas.

Well, this is among the most ridiculous stories I've read in quite some time.

Evidently, a 5-year old descendant of Davy Crockett named Tre Merritt killed a bear. We'll let Tre's grandfather explain:

"His 10th great-grandfather was Davy Crockett," Mike Merritt said. "And Davy supposedly killed him a bear when he was three. And Tre is five and really killed a bear. I really doubt if Davy killed one when he was three."

Tre confirmed grandpa's story:

"I was up in the stand and I seen the bear," Tre Merritt said. "It came from the thicket and it was beside the road and I shot it."

You might have the same questions that I do about this story:

1. Where in the United States do they let 5-year olds shoot guns?

2. Where in the United States do they teach people to speak like the Merritts?

The answer to both of those questions is the great state of Arkansas, apparently.

Finally, the touching conclusion to the story:

The bear turned out to be 445 pounds — 12 times the weight of Tre. Mike Merritt said tears rolled down his cheeks when he found out his grandson killed the enormous bear.

Tre Merritt's father, Wheatley, said he began teaching his son to shoot when he was just 2 ½ years old, and said Tre killed three deer last year.

OK, I've got tears rolling down my cheek too, but it's from laughter at this ridiculous story. Good lord.


Anonymous said...

F*ck off, Chuckie, you supercilious, arrogant cunt. People like the Merritts, Scots Irish, I'm betting, BUILT this land, while people like you were too lazy to wipe your own a** after getting up from your 'bidet'.

I dare you to turn your venom and contempt on blacks or the Third World.

Easier to pick on White people, though, ain't it?

garcia said...

Is that a serious comment?

garcia said...

you know what? you're right! the scots/irish did build this land... it was right after the white man came in and raped and pillaged the indians. thank god for those white people! without them, indians would be living in peace and that would have sucked!

talk about supercilious? you completely ignore the fact that indians are indigenous to the land and make your stupid ass case for the superiority of the white man yourself. nice job a-hole. also, nice touch on the anonymous...you wouldn't want to be held responsible for your comments if you ever made another one on this site would you now? go hide in your mom's room

AP said...

This is what I get to read when I turn on my computer this morning???WTF!?!?

To answer the question posed; yes. It is easier to pick on white people. Hope that helps....

I'll do it right now, here goes: This Merritt family sounds exactly how I imagine EVERY LIVING PERSON in Arkansas is in real life.

....and Matt was "turning his venom" on the 3rd world. He was making fun of Arkansas....

Bobby Petrino said...

Really....Arkansas isn't so bad.

matt said...


Clearly struck a nerve with a white supremacist from Arkansas with that post.

He/she does know how to spell, however. Good times.

Goldy said...

Note to self: Do not post about 5-year olds in Arkansas shooting bears or about Ryan Grant.

Wrigleyville said...

That is my most favoritest comment ever. EVER.

Ryan Grant said...

Don't you dare lump comments about me in with comments about Deliverance!