Friday, September 21, 2007

Milwaukee Brewers Football??


"Since when do Sherman tanks play baseball?"
After mocking the Packers WR situation (Jennings/James might miss the SD game), Matt suggests Billy Hall might be able to suit up (because he doesn't play for the Brewers anymore). That led to us assembling a Milwaukee Brewers Football team.

Quarterback:
Gabe Gross. Hey, this one actually fits the bill! Gross started a few games at QB for Auburn back in the day. He kind of sucked, but at least he has experience. Yo, CoCo and their cannon's would be the primary backups.

Running Backs:
Dick Weeks. He may run like Fred Flintstone, but he runs fast. I could see him having a little wiggle. However, Weeks' cleats are nailed to the sidelines on passing downs, as he has a hard time catching a cold, let alone a ball. Halfback passes are also out of the question. In steps Bill Hall: Fast, athletic, and doesn’t have to hit a curve ball in this role. Thank God.

Fullback:
Prince Fielder. I think everyone would love to see Prince and his Mohawk play lead blocker in the NFL, seriously. He can basically crush any baseball player in the bigs (where are you Todd Greene?), and needs to step up his competition. Kevin Mench is your backup...although he has to borrow Aaron Gibson's gigantic UW helmet on Sundays.

Tight End:
Corey Hart. Hart has wheels, can catch, and intimidates the opponent with the raccoon growing on his face. Could also go Seth McClung in 2 TE sets.

Wide Receivers:
JJ Hardy, Chris Capuano and Ryan Braun. JJ catches everything...a taller, slimmer Wayne Chrebet. No idea about Cappy's WR potential. I just want to see him get lit up by linebackers on crossing routes because of his crappy season. "Another crossing route Coach?" "Until that ERA is below your 40 time, HELL YEAH!" Braun’s the white Ocho Cinco with the "confidence" he has in his abilities.

Tackles:
Damien Miller, Derrick Turnbow. Miller’s the grizzled veteran, making it through every play on sheer guts and guile. Turnbow is an animal. Unfortunately, he must be replaced with 5 minutes left in every 4th quarter by someone else...who's probably the wrong guy (Aquino?). Joe Dillon is a strapping young buck...he's in on the Jumbo package.

Center:
Johnny Estrada
. Just look at him! He's the center. Good thing centers dont throw the football.

Guards:
Ray Ray, Shouse. Couldn't think of any other fat guys on the Crew. They do have their limitations: King comes to every training camp 41 pounds overweight and Shouse want's every play to run left.

Punt/Kick Returner
Tony Gwynn. Speed, speed, and more speed.

Water Boy
Benny Sheets. Football is WAAAAAY too dangerous for Sheets. After week 2, he's been complaining about "possible frostbite" from scooping too much ice. He's out half the season.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Estrada could also double as the punter, since he is so good at booting balls behind the plate.

-Not so anonymous Jake

matt said...

One thing we didn't examine - is Ned Yost a proponent of the zone blocking scheme?

If not, the Brewers might be able to out-rush the Packers.