Wednesday, June 13, 2007

NBA Finals Update


Item!

In an exhilarating game of peach basket hoop-the-ball, the Republic of Texas Boot-Spurs bested the Ohio Territory Cavaliers 75 to 72 last night in the bustling metro-polis of Cleveland.
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The action was non-stop, with basketballers from each squad putting the ball into their opponent's goal at a frenzied pace. The local newspaper-men were all aflutter about the Boot-Spurs and their devilish Tony Parker, from the Third Republic of France, who posted 17 points for his side.
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"Parker runs as fast as the French columns retreated from the Mandarin forces at Lang Son," said team manager Mike Brown.
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The combatants scored goals at a robust 38% clip, with the revolutionary jump-shot falling in the basket at an alarming pace.
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"Patrons were fainting from the excitement" of such heady scoring, according to chairman David Stern. Even a mid-contest sortie from the Ojibwa Nation was not enough to detract from the festive mood.
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The fourth, and perhaps final, contest of the 7-game match is nigh, but will be hard-pressed to match the pageantry of the third affair. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah for peach basket hoop-the-ball!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dick Bennett thought this was the best game he's ever witnessed.

AP said...

75 to 72....WOW! That sounds like a pretty exciting first 3 quarters of a basketball game. How did it end????

.....I like the "Onion-esque" article Matt. Good stuff.