Wednesday, June 13, 2007

NBA Finals Update


In an exhilarating game of peach basket hoop-the-ball, the Republic of Texas Boot-Spurs bested the Ohio Territory Cavaliers 75 to 72 last night in the bustling metro-polis of Cleveland.
The action was non-stop, with basketballers from each squad putting the ball into their opponent's goal at a frenzied pace. The local newspaper-men were all aflutter about the Boot-Spurs and their devilish Tony Parker, from the Third Republic of France, who posted 17 points for his side.
"Parker runs as fast as the French columns retreated from the Mandarin forces at Lang Son," said team manager Mike Brown.
The combatants scored goals at a robust 38% clip, with the revolutionary jump-shot falling in the basket at an alarming pace.
"Patrons were fainting from the excitement" of such heady scoring, according to chairman David Stern. Even a mid-contest sortie from the Ojibwa Nation was not enough to detract from the festive mood.
The fourth, and perhaps final, contest of the 7-game match is nigh, but will be hard-pressed to match the pageantry of the third affair. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah for peach basket hoop-the-ball!


Anonymous said...

Dick Bennett thought this was the best game he's ever witnessed.

AP said...

75 to 72....WOW! That sounds like a pretty exciting first 3 quarters of a basketball game. How did it end????

.....I like the "Onion-esque" article Matt. Good stuff.