Friday, June 1, 2007

Breaking News!


In an exclusive interview with Big Z, Chuckie Hacks has learned that Big Z has traded himself to the Chicago White Sox, effective immediately. The Cubs will receive second baseman Tadahito Iguchi and left fielder Rob Mackowiak from the White Sox for Big Z. The move stems directly from Big Z's fight with former battery-mate Michael Barrett in the dugout during today's Cubs loss to the Atlanta Braves.

"I'm playing for the White Sox after today," Big Z said in a hastily arranged press conference outside Wrigley Field. "Ozzie (Sox manager, and fellow Venezuelan, Ozzie Guillen) said that if I play for the Sox, I can punch Michael Barrett during the interleague series with the Cubs every year. It's a lot better for me to punch him as an opposing player."

AJ Pierzinski immediately offered his services, counseling Big Z on the art of taking a punch from Barrett.

Jeff Roberson, AP
Cubs manager Lou Piniella, whose team dropped to 22-30 with today's loss, was also sporting a black eye after the game, apparently from a separate altercation with Ted Lilly. Lilly, it seems, got caught up in the emotions and started pummelling Piniella in the Cubs dugout during the 6th inning.

"I noticed Lou looked at me funny during the game, so I figured I'd set the tone before he tried to pull me out early from my next start," Lilly said. "Message delivered."

When asked to comment on the Big Z trade, Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry said that he targeted a second baseman and a left fielder from the White Sox in exchange for Big Z because the Cubs were a little "thin" at those spots, having only Cliff Floyd, Jacque Jones, Matt Murton and Alfonso Soriano in left field and Ryan Theriot and Mark DeRosa at second.

1 comment:

The Sarge said...

I think that deal only happens if the Sox also throw in Podsednik. That gets the Cubs one player closer to our goal of starting 9 left fielders by the end of the year.