A Chuckie Hacks congratulations!

Well, isn't this just a delightful little story!

We hear at Chuckie Hacks would like to congratulate Bob Gessert on his first ever hole in 1 at the Legend at BrandyBrook golf course! Click here and scroll about half way down to see the picture!

"So what Zeus?" you might be saying..."who the F is Bob Gessert?"

Oh...this is Bob Gessert ladies and gents...The old pal of my favorite Packer of all-time: Mark Chmura.

Could it really be 8 years since the famous party out in Hartland? Ahhh...so many memories...

Billups of the Week - Kenny Perry

Jesus Christ - What a freaking Sally.

"I had got some infection in there and my doctor said that I needed to let my eyes rest by keeping the contacts out," Perry said.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...my eye hurts!!! The doctor says I can't wear contacts!!!! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Seriously, big effing deal. The guy actually withdrew after playing 1 round of the PGA Championship. Granted, he did shoot terrible, but so what? Man the F up, and go back out there today and shoot another 79. Real men take their lumps and miss the cut. Pussies and Billupi WD due to the fact that their eye hurts. It's not like playing golf is going to further damage his eye. It's not like he couldn't play.

This type of stuff bothers me somewhat. If he knew about the "injury" on Tuesday, then why did he even attempt to play? He could have sat out and another pro could have gotten into the field. He just screwed some guy out of a shot at golf's last glory.

In any event, congratulations on your Billups award Kenny. I believe it's his first.

The Shark

For those of you who don't follow golf that much...there is a great story happening right now over at the British Open. Somehow...SOMEHOW...Greg Norman has somehow shot back to back even par rounds and is now the current LEADER of the event as the 2nd round continues.

I find this absolutely incredible. It's so incredible it's actually a little absurd. Greg Norman is 53 years old. He doesn't play golf anymore! He hasn't played competitively in like...8 years. 3 weeks ago he rented out an entire island in the Bahamas or something and got married to Chris Evert. Check out his quotes this week when they ask him how much he practices anymore or even plays:
"Yeah, my expectations were almost nil coming in, to tell you the truth. I hadn't played a lot of golf. I was trying to work on my game as much as I could. Obviously we had a lot of preparation getting ready for the wedding. "We had a great time over there, so the least of my worries was getting out there practising and hitting golf balls and getting ready for the British Open."

He went out in 70 70. Look on the bottom of the leaderboard. You'll see names like Mickelson, Singh, Els, Stricker...current WORLD CLASS players that are getting owned on the course right now. It's just awesome.

So keep this in mind over the weekend. This is going to be a HUGE story all day today and leading up to tomorrow. If he can somehow shoot a decent 3rd round and go into Sunday in the top 5 (or even hold the lead) it'll be just a crazy story in the golf world. Greg Norman winning this thing will be the greatest golf story ever: better then Nicklaus winning the Masters at age 46, better then Tiger winning the US Open without a knee, better then Todd Hamilton winning the British (ok...scratch that last one).

And if he chokes it away on the back 9 on Sunday...my God that will be even better tv.

Right-handed Adam LaRoche?

Apparently our 1st pick has been hitting with a wood bat since age 14, and can flat out rake.

But I think I sense a little Ryan Braun cockiness...which I loooooooooooooooooove...

In a conference call with members of the Milwaukee media, Lawrie announced he hopes to get to the big leagues "in about a year and a half."

As for making the commitment to catch full-time, Lawrie said, "I'm looking forward to competing. Hopefully, I'll be up to the big leagues as quick as possible and it'll be behind the dish."

Damn right. 18 years old...huge cock...1.5 million in the bank...big leagues by the age of 20...no effing problem.

BTW...My sources are still working on finding out if this kid is related to the one and only Paul Lawrie...the journeyman golfer who won the 1999 British Open after Jean Van de Velde Billups' the final hole with a 7.

The Tradition

The Masters starts tomorrow. Arguably the best golf tournament to watch on TV (If you're like me and you like watching golf on TV). They show very few (if any) commercials on Sunday if I'm not mistaken.

In any event, golf predictions are pretty stupid, since Tiger Woods wins half the time he plays. All you can hope for is someone with the testicular fortitude to match him shot for shot and at least make the back 9 on Sunday interesting.

A buddy of mine did actually go to Augusta this week to watch the practice rounds. He had some very important analysis:
-By far the dirtiest person at the whole thing (players and gallery) was Miguel Angel Jimenez. His long, dyed yellow, pony tailed hair is ferocious. He is apparently a huge billups and sucks on a huge cigar the whole time, even on the practice range while he hits balls.
- Carmelo Villegas walks around and consistantly has about 10 people in his posse following him hole by hole. There are 3 smoking hot chicks with huge sun glasses and King Cobra hats speaking spanish about how they are going to all f him at the same time after the round
-David Toms only played 9 on Monday due to a bad back. Don't pick him for fantasy.
-Hunter Mahan was spraying balls everywhere both days and struggled on the range big time. He was with his swing coach for about 2 hours after he played yesterday.

My prediction will never change: Steve Stricker all the way...

Golf Debate

Heard a talking hairdo from Bristol bring up a good question about Tiger. I don't know anything about golf. Can't stand it, can't watch it (I'd rather watch Ping Pong), so hoping somebody can help. Obviously, Tiger is awesome. But, is his competition as good as the competition in Nicholas' days? There seem to be many players of the "million dollar arm, 10 cent head" variety these days. Conversely, Jack went against plenty of proven winners like Palmer, Player, Trevino, Watson, etc.

This isn't a "Is Tiger better than Jack" argument. Rather, "Is it easier for Tiger to win a tournament today than it was for Jack to win one back then?"

Boring Week: Here's some Golf...

Ever hear of a PGA Tour player named Ian Poulter? He's not a household name, but he's a European who enjoyed success in his twenties on the European tour and in recent years has played in the US with limited success (no wins). He is currently the 22nd ranked player in the world and dresses in ridiculous taste with flaming spiky hair. So what does the 22nd ranked player in the world think of himself?

"Don't get me wrong, I really respect every professional golfer, but I know I haven't played to my full potential and when that happens, it will be just me and Tiger."

The story continues with a couple of other little nuggets about how much he thinks Tiger is better than everyone else and blah blah blah.

Personally, I think this is great for golf. Golf is NOT a team sport. It's just one guy out there by himself. You have to be a little cocky. You have be REALLY cocky to say at one point in time you are going to be in the same league as Tiger Woods.

A few years back Vijay Singh stated that he wanted to be the Number 1 golfer in the World. He backed it up. He went out and played basically every tournament for 2 years, and for a couple months he actually unseated Tiger Woods as #1 (nobody was saying he was better than Woods talent-wise, he just backed it up by doing well on the course).

Poulter & Tiger are playing in the same tournament this weekend: The Dubai Desert Classic. Here's to hoping he plays well and actually beats Tiger. Golf needs more guys like this with the testicular fortitude to want to play against Tiger and not be afraid to talk about it. In my opinion, there are two many Stewart Cinks & Scott Verplanks out there that win some little tournament once every 2 years and make a few million each year. I like watching guys that want to take down Tiger Woods.

When you're flipping through the channels or surfing the internet in the morning Super Bowl Sunday, do yourself a favor and see how Poulter is doing in this tournament. If he is beating Woods, I guarantee we'll be hearing more about this story.